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There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink

Posted by WaterLily 
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WaterLily
There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 17, 2010
http://www.sebastyne.net/2010/10/there-is-no-childfree-movement/
http://www.sebastyne.net/2010/10/there-is-no-childfree-movement/

There is no “childfree movement”

There is a childfree community however. It consists of people who just don’t want children. There is many logical, good and sound reasons why having children might not be a good idea, but in it’s very simplest, and the most common form, the childfree simply don’t desire to have children. As the acceptance of this fact arises, and the stereotypes are grumbling in the pressure of modern society and people are more and more aware and accepting of their own and other people’s individual needs, the childfree have become more vocal about it. They haven’t increased in numbers, I don’t believe, but instead of conforming to the society’s expectations or just remaining spinsters and bachelors for the duration of their lives, the childfree can now say openly, that “frankly, I don’t want kids.” As shocking as it still is to some people, I wouldn’t call it a movement.

A movement is somewhat organized group of people who have a set of goals and an agenda. The childfree don’t. We’re not telling you not to have children, we’re simply saying that we don’t want any, and wish people would accept it. The parents seem a lot more organised and imposing of their values than the childfree ever are. How many times have we heard a parent tell a childfree person to have children, but have you ever heard a childfree tell you not to have yours? Maybe from the environmental point of view, as the overpopulation issue is concerning a lot of the childfree people, but I doubt many have told you that your life would be so much more fun if you just didn’t have children. That’s not what we’re about. We do want to let people know that not having children is a valid choice, and that the possibility of you regretting it later is slim to none, if that’s what you really want… and maybe there should be a movement for that point of view.

I think every time I’ve heard the term “movement” being put together with “childfree” it’s been used by a mommy-blogger. It sounds like we’re some sort of a cult or something. Although there’s some really hateful childfree people who I do not wish to be identified with, the vast majority of us simply wants to be treated with some respect! Instead we’re often treated like children who don’t know their own minds, and who will change their mind in the end (once you meet the right guy for example, which is a seriously offensive remark to any childfree woman who is in a committed relationship.) So while I don’t believe that there’s a childfree movement, maybe there should be against discrimination of the childfree people. I’m not talking about tax breaks either, but simple acceptance and at least an attempt of understanding where we’re coming from before dismissing it a childish whim; so that the childfree could marry someone safely without the fear that when they have honestly told their spouse to be that they will never want children, their significant other will still expect them to change their minds within the first 3 years of marriage.

Surely that’s not too scary? Bah. I just don’t like the word “movement”. It sounds like we’re out there demonstrating with banners saying: “Don’t have kids! We hate kids!” and then organising rallies to convince pregnant women have abortions because they’d be so much happier without kids. Or something.


lab mom
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kidlesskim
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 17, 2010
That's a pretty accurate assessment of my feelings on the subject too. I have NO DESIRE to be part of any "movement" because I don't care that much about any particular "cause", I don't want to be harrassed by those who oppose my views, NOR do I want to deal with zealots within the "movement" who want to be my new best friend because we share ONE common viewpoint! I honestly don't give a rat's ass if anyone shares or understands my viewpoints on it and I consider it a BONUS that I have found likeminded individuals here on BratFree to share stories, ponder viewpoints, and to voice rants. Most of all though, I like to find humor in breeder-like behavior and enjoy sharing with others who enjoy the same past time! I LIKE to laugh and exchange and interact with other intelligent people because it's fun! A "movement" wouldn't be any fun to me AT ALL.

There are too many weirdos within and in opposition to "movements" who are laying in wait to attack and/or attach. NO THANKS! That's one reason that I don't want children because they can be the same way: ATTACK and ATTACH.spanking with a whip on the ass:gross

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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Cambion
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 17, 2010
I think that's why we get Moo trolls or people who are clearly trying far too hard to be CF - they think we're some kind of awesome little rebel society and they HAVE to be part of it so they can stand out from the crowd. We are not a movement - we're just people who don't want kids. We aren't out fulfilling some kind of mission or trying to prove a point to fucking everyone. Dumb people just think we're a movement because our choices do not mirror theirs; childfreedom is about as much of a movement as dying one's hair. It's a choice that affects no one but the person making it, made only for that person.
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Aesirson
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 17, 2010
Quote
Cambion
I think that's why we get Moo trolls or people who are clearly trying far too hard to be CF - they think we're some kind of awesome little rebel society and they HAVE to be part of it so they can stand out from the crowd.

Exactly! I'm just glad about two things: One, that we really don't have to worry about these fools anymore with the revived forum, and two, that the article's author wrote what they did.
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KABA
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 17, 2010


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!
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Aesirson
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 17, 2010
KABA, you are my hero!
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kidlesskim
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 17, 2010
Quote
KABA





waving hellolarious

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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WaterLily
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
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kidlesskim
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KABA





waving hellolarious

Very accurate!! Thank you


lab mom
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WaterLily
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
The one movement I do see, doesn't include the childfree. It's the wanna-be parents. They seem to all wanting or are getting pregnant in a hurry, soon, and fast, as with as many kids as their uterus can allow. They compete with their friends, to see who can get pregnant the quickest and the fastest and soonest. It's beyond absurd. As if the human race is dying out. eye rolling smiley


lab mom
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yurble
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
I personally would be part of a movement, if there were one, which focused on equitable treatment of the childfree by ending tax breaks, paternal leave, and other institutionalized discrimination. (I'm also strongly against people having children because of overpopulation, but I consider that part of a different movement.) Happily Childfree has a list of objectives that I think would form a good basis for a movement's objectives.

However, I don't expect the CF to organize anytime soon, for a variety of reasons.
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Dorisan
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Leslie Lafayette probably came the closest to organizing a movement. It's disbanding in the late 1990s coincided with the rise of networking done via the internet - alt.support.childfree, Turtle's page, etc. One of my thoughts is that once we began to recognize one another (a common cry when people found one another via the internet was "I thought I was the only one!"), plus taking ownership and spreading the word "childfree" (though we still have to wrangle with the moos who think that time away from their brats is "childfree" time angry smiley ) people fell away from the formal organization comprised of memberships, votes on committees and newsletters.
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Dorisan
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Quote
yurble
I personally would be part of a movement, if there were one, which focused on equitable treatment of the childfree by ending tax breaks, paternal leave, and other institutionalized discrimination. (I'm also strongly against people having children because of overpopulation, but I consider that part of a different movement.) Happily Childfree has a list of objectives that I think would form a good basis for a movement's objectives.

However, I don't expect the CF to organize anytime soon, for a variety of reasons.

That would be akin to taking away the same sort of bennies religion is accorded. It's too much a sacred entitlement to those people to ever be taken away :cool
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RatsNotBrats
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Quote
KABA

Love it, KABA! thumbs upwink

Yurble, great post - I agree. I also love that list of objectives on Happily Childfree.

Dorisan, that's exactly it - there's no official movement, only groups of like-minded people talking, kvetching, or spreading the term "childfree", giving rise to the "official" definition of the word.

________________________________________________


"The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent." -- Mel Lazarus
"Women who miscalculate are called mothers." -- Abigail Van Buren
"Better to be deprived of food for three days, than tea for one." -- Chinese proverb
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Amethyst
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
In a way, though -- we are organising, and we do have a movement. But it's no Tea Party. It's more like a book club. Or a coffee morning.

It's all about sharing information and support, normalising the state of choosing to be CF because, contrary to the socialisation we've all received, there's nothing wrong with being CF. We raise awareness amongst our small group, and this does occasionally overflow into real life when one of us says or does something quite rational in some kind of insane cult-of-the-child situation, and that person comes back to the board and reports it, and we file that away in our minds for future reference. We share information about CF restaurants to patronise, and breeder-pleaser businesses to avoid. We're in no mind to picket the breeder-pleaser businesses -- yet! -- but we can individually avoid them and not spend our money with them in order to have the peaceful and lovely lives to which we are entitled.

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly
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SlumSlut
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
But it's not a "movement" in the sense that we are going around trying to convert people to our way of life. I prefer to call what we have here a "culture" rather than a "movement". "Movement" is just too political and implies that we have some kind of organized agenda. We are a group of people who share one defining thing in common, but that does not make us a "movement".

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu
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revbarky
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Quote
kidlesskim
Quote
KABA

HEY D'DON'T LOOK AT ME! ALL THE SPROGS WERE SENT TO ALDERAAN LAST WEEK!



waving hellolarious

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CF_Amy
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Quote
yurble
I personally would be part of a movement, if there were one, which focused on equitable treatment of the childfree by ending tax breaks, paternal leave, and other institutionalized discrimination. (I'm also strongly against people having children because of overpopulation, but I consider that part of a different movement.) Happily Childfree has a list of objectives that I think would form a good basis for a movement's objectives.

However, I don't expect the CF to organize anytime soon, for a variety of reasons.

THIS. I don't necessarily of "Childfree" people as a movement, but more so that we are just more vocal about our choices. I think that's where they get the "movement" from.

Quote

A movement is somewhat organized group of people who have a set of goals and an agenda. The childfree don’t. We’re not telling you not to have children, we’re simply saying that we don’t want any, and wish people would accept it. The parents seem a lot more organised and imposing of their values than the childfree ever are. How many times have we heard a parent tell a childfree person to have children, but have you ever heard a childfree tell you not to have yours? Maybe from the environmental point of view, as the overpopulation issue is concerning a lot of the childfree people, but I doubt many have told you that your life would be so much more fun if you just didn’t have children. That’s not what we’re about. We do want to let people know that not having children is a valid choice, and that the possibility of you regretting it later is slim to none, if that’s what you really want… and maybe there should be a movement for that point of view.


I think every time I’ve heard the term “movement” being put together with “childfree” it’s been used by a mommy-blogger. It sounds like we’re some sort of a cult or something. Although there’s some really hateful childfree people who I do not wish to be identified with, the vast majority of us simply wants to be treated with some respect! Instead we’re often treated like children who don’t know their own minds, and who will change their mind in the end (once you meet the right guy for example, which is a seriously offensive remark to any childfree woman who is in a committed relationship.) So while I don’t believe that there’s a childfree movement, maybe there should be against discrimination of the childfree people. I’m not talking about tax breaks either, but simple acceptance and at least an attempt of understanding where we’re coming from before dismissing it a childish whim; so that the childfree could marry someone safely without the fear that when they have honestly told their spouse to be that they will never want children, their significant other will still expect them to change their minds within the first 3 years of marriage.

I seriously can't agree more with this. I also liked how the author touched on how offensive the "when you meet the right person" bingo is. Actually, while I haven't said it to anyone's face who I think this way about, I do think half the people who are parents have no business being parents. I'm almost dreading getting married, I want to, but i'm scared I won't find someone who is truly childfree or, as the article says someone who expects me to change my mind. But, i'll burn that bridge when I get there. Even if I do "change my mind", i'd rather adopt anyways. But, I consider getting Essure'd the best thing I've ever done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"
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law
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
I don't think Childfree people are a movement - but we should be!

Society is so breedercentric that a CF person can't even breathe wrong without getting bingoed and hit up for tax money to pay for another school bus, and then can't even go out for a dinner quiet enough to hear himself or herself think. Fuck that shit.
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thom_c
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Quote
KABA



Luke ssss WHO"S YER DADDY!
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nokids4me
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010


"Dammit, I should've gotten snipped when I had the chance! This kid is going to be the death of me!"
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KABA
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010


Note: If you don't know, this Anakin Skywalker aka baby Darth Vader.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!
Reply Quote
SlumSlut
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Your kid could grow up and BE cancer.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu
Reply Quote
kidlesskim
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Quote
SlumSlut
Your kid could grow up and BE cancer.



bouncing and laughing

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
Reply Quote
WaterLily
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Quote
kidlesskim
Quote
SlumSlut
Your kid could grow up and BE cancer.



bouncing and laughing

waving hellolarious.


lab mom
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CrabCake
Re: There is no "Childfree Movement."thumbs upwink
October 18, 2010
Quote
Dorisan
Quote
yurble
I personally would be part of a movement, if there were one, which focused on equitable treatment of the childfree by ending tax breaks, paternal leave, and other institutionalized discrimination. (I'm also strongly against people having children because of overpopulation, but I consider that part of a different movement.) Happily Childfree has a list of objectives that I think would form a good basis for a movement's objectives.

However, I don't expect the CF to organize anytime soon, for a variety of reasons.

That would be akin to taking away the same sort of bennies religion is accorded. It's too much a sacred entitlement to those people to ever be taken away :cool

The truly equitable solution would be to either END the preferential treatment for breeders OR to extend the same opportunities to the CF/CL. Can you just hear the mooing? If it's truly fair to everyone, then it's UNFAIR in their eyes because they're not getting preferential treatment.

angry flipping off

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan
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