You can do background checks but you have to pay through the nose to do it. If you want your man's marital status a public record, then build your insecure selves a free database so we know who to avoid.
Don't worry, the second I see evidence of spawning I run for the hills. So leave some clues. THe coolest car is easily ruined by one of those "My Kid Is Not A Total Tard At Bumfuck Elementary" stickers.
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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."