The CF Resume

I apologize in advance if this is in the wrong folder, but does anyone know how exactly you can let potential employers know you don't plan on getting knocked up and taking mooternity leave? What I mean is that I feel as though the fact that I am a woman of childbearing age is affecting my chances of getting hired in my field (teaching). In NYC it is VERY common for female teachers in my age range to get a job, get knocked up less than 2 years later, take the full maternity leave, get full pay, and THEN notify the school like 2 weeks before the semester starts that they're not coming back. Do any of you have experience in letting employers know that this will not be you? Or does that bite you in the ass another way in that they could be a big breeder that can't understand why anyone wouldn't want kids?

I don't know if this would work on a resume, but in the actual interview (or maybe cover letter?) say something about part of what made you want to teach was because you "couldn't have any of your own". This lets them know you won't get PG, but you don't come off as the evil CFer.

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chicken lady
I don't know if this would work on a resume, but in the actual interview (or maybe cover letter?) say something about part of what made you want to teach was because you "couldn't have any of your own". This lets them know you won't get PG, but you don't come off as the evil CFer.

I like that idea! I've always been unapologetically CF but if I have to say things like this to get a job so be it. Thanks for your response.

This may not apply in NYC, but I happen to know a CF teacher in the Inland Empire area (west of Los Angeles area). When this person was looking for a job, she has indicated in her cover letter something along the lines of the total dedication to the job and that if she was presented a job offer, she guarantees a total and complete commitment to the cause and therefore no maternity leave benefits of any kind are needed. She has also indicated that teaching is the only thing that she has desired her entire life and that her personal life revolves around teaching and not the other way around. She has also explained her cause at the interview. She got the job. She held true to what she wrote.

Unless you are truly unable to have kids, I wouldn't say that. If you do get the job, you will have to continue to lie about it forever. And if you do let it slip ... well now your boss/co-workers see you as a liar ... I'm sure you can say it a different way that won't cause you to have to keep up the facade.

Hmmm I don't think you are lying by saying you "can't have any" - just because someone else may interpret the statement to mean you are blessed with natural infertility does not preclude it meaning you "can't" have them because your lifestyle doesn't cater to that. It is a broad statement that is open to interpretation - maybe can't have them means any offspring would have a high chance of inheriting a nasty genetic mutation.... The list goes on. Nope I don't believe that statement would brand you a liar.

I don't think it's untruthful to say, "I can't have any of my own." You can always be thinking to yourself, ". . . because I'd go insane five minutes after having it."

Since I plan on getting a TL in the next year or 2, saying that I can't have children at that point would be the truth because...I can't. wink

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chicken lady
I don't know if this would work on a resume, but in the actual interview (or maybe cover letter?) say something about part of what made you want to teach was because you "couldn't have any of your own". This lets them know you won't get PG, but you don't come off as the evil CFer.

Ah, brilliant! Won't offend anyone.

Saying "I can't have children" when not prompted about it (that's the key; you're simply trying to explain why you'd be the perfect candidate) can imply that being a parent is something you were/are interested in. Even worse is adding the "...and that's what made me want to teach" part. That is definitely lying.

Basically, by bringing up your inability to have kids (unprompted), it could sound like you are saying: "If I found out that I wasn't infertile like I thought I was, I'd definitely jump ship ASAP because I REALLY WANT KIDS OMG1ELEVEN1!!!1one11!1" You could come across as the "sad infertile" and either have to keep up the act forever or explain yourself and possibly piss some people off.

If you don't want to come across that way, then I would follow Techie's example instead (especially the "I won't need maternity leave!" part) Bring up previous work/school/whatever experience, emphasize the sheer amount of free time you have, sound enthusiastic/dedicated, etc. If the schools you apply to are really interested in a certain field (sports, art, music, etc.) and you are interested in that field, you can certainly bring that up, too.

In fact, even though this is risky, you could say something like this: "Parenthood is not the path for me, but being a supporter and teacher of children is definitely my purpose in life. Since I have a lot of free time to dedicate myself to improving my teaching abilities and being there for my students, I believe that I would be the perfect teacher candidate for your wonderful school." (I've not used this strategy before, just to clarify, but I think it can work on rational people)

Whatever you do, good luck. It sucks that we have to borderline lie to people simply because we aren't parents. At one point, I wanted to be a teacher and this was one of the issues I was concerned about. Unlike a lot of "child lovers," I don't put kids on a pedestal and I treat them as human beings and yet I have to prove myself simply because parenthood isn't right for me. -_-

EDIT: I just thought of something that might work: "Since parenthood is not a possibility (or "life path" or "not in the cards") for me, I (insert positive stuff)."

Advantages: 1.) The focus is on you (and parenthood) and not on kids; 2.) It reminds the listener that one can be supportive of children without being a parent; 3.) It's very hard to get offended by such a vague and positive statement; 4.) The statement is vague enough to not be construed as lying; 5.) It knocks out both biological children and adopted children.

To play it safe, you could simply indicate on your cover letter that you are looking to dedicate yourself for the next 10 years of continuous work, without interruption. Indicating that you are committed to work will be taken more seriously than many other remarks. If you hint that you put work ahead of it all, you are putting way more on the table than 99% of other applicants do.

Remember that it is also possible that the person responsible for hiring will be a breeder (they are common in HR, and HR might screen the application even if they don't conduct the interview). Therefore I generally opt not to mention it in my cover letter (although I hint at it in my CV, as I live in a country where it is common to include some personal information, by stating "partner, no children") and instead play it by ear in the interview. If the interviewer doesn't bring up her/his own children, and there are no photos on display, I might mention being CF in passing, as one more quality I can bring to the job. If the person is obviously a breeder, I won't bring it up at all (and they're generally legally prohibited from asking, so you won't have to deal with a head-on question).

I've been reading the responses and have gotten some really good ideas from here! Thanks again. wink

Another tip: when the interviewer asks an open-ended question such as, "What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?" make sure you answer with something that helped you pursue a career. Interviewers know they aren't allowed to ask if you have kids, and they also know that ALL moomies will say, "OOH, my chilllllldren!!!!"

Believe me, plenty of companies don't want to hire someone who pretends to work for two months and then takes maternity leave for years. Be ready to discuss your dedicated work ideals and thus help the interviewer filter out the moomies.

I was not looking for this article, but I have stumbled upon it. It talks about the "illegal" questions that interviewers may ask. Here is the link:

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-2722-Interviewing-Isnt-that-illegal-How-to-answer-uncomfortable-interview-questions/?SiteId=cbmsnhp42722&sc_extcmp=JS_2722_home1>1=23000

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"My friends and I have been asked several times what we would do if we got pregnant. Our answer: 'I can't have children. I'm infertile.' It always sets the interviewer on his (never asked this by a woman) heels. We decided that in the event that we did get the job and did get pregnant, we would cast it as a 'miracle' -- and just be joyous with everyone about the heavenly news!" -- Rebecca Raibley, Massachusetts.

Unfortunately, women do ask this question. Sometimes, in certain jobs, (daycare centers, for example), they prefer people who have their own kids. Yes, it is illegal, yes it is wrong. No, being a parent does not make one a better worker. But hey, what can an applicant really do?

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"If the applicant is certain that the question is illegal, he can tell the interviewer, understanding that it will probably mean that the interview will end soon and not end up in employment." Filing charges with a state or federal agency is an option if a well-qualified candidate feels certain that the only reason he was denied the position was because of being a member of a protected class, but Henley cautions that "the likelihood for success in filing such a claim in these circumstances is low."

If you're married, I'd suggest removing your wedding/engagement ring for job interviews.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Miss_Hannigan
If you're married, I'd suggest removing your wedding/engagement ring for job interviews.

Always a good idea. It is just almost every employer now does a "background check" which now involves a Consumer Credit Report check. If an applicant has joint accounts with a spouse, employer will see it.

Nope I'm not married! I'm just in a LTR for 5 years, which gets other bingos of course.

"What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?"

Me: Surviving 14 years of sexual activity, and having nothing to show for it.

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Snark Shark
"What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?"


Proper use of birth control!

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"What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?"

"Not EATING your face."

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Snark, I'm seriously loving your superfluous use of those sharks.

“I don’t have pet peeves, I have major, psychotic fucking hatreds.”
— George Carlin

If you can convince yourself to believe in your own bullshit, until you get the tubal, then go for it! I'm not saying that you should throw yourself a pity party in the break room, or anything like that... Just keep it to yourself. If anyone tries to get up in your business, just say it's personal. Let them assume whatever they want. You aren't required to explain your personal life to anyone. smile

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Snark Shark

until the DAY SHARKS EAT JAPAN!

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SHARKEMON, GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL

spread meme, not genes

to my uterus: Y U NO GET THE FUCK OUT FROM MY BODY?

It does matter if you write your resume all by yourself or by some resume builder but in both cases you should find a place to write what you plan in the future. Whether its kids or moving out and whether it will have effect on your job.

It's illegal for them to ask you personal questions on the application or at the interview but there's nothing stopping you from volunteering the information. As others have pointed out, do tread carefully, as breeders outnumber us and the chances you will be interviewed by one are greater than not.