"Childfree Bashing: An Everyday Happening"

Link

These are the assumptions she addresses:

• Childfree adults are irresponsible/immature and not able to be a good role model with children
• Childfree adults are not nurturing
• Childfree adults’ lives are not complete
• Childfree adults are genetically flawed
• Childfree adults hate kids
• Childfree adults secretly feel distressed about not having children

Earlier she also wrote about three subtypes of people without children: by choice, by happenstance, and by circumstance.

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I recently blogged on misconceptions about childfree adults, many of which are unflattering. Such misconceptions lead to typical stereotyping in which a group of people is treated as a whole, as if they were all exactly the same. The reality is that childfree adults are as varied as any other category of men and women, but when listening to their stories, three subtypes rise to the surface.

I could have been a content, quiet, childfree person. Then the breeders starred pushing back, questioning and denigrating my choices and making me feel like a sub-human. So I'm a little bit PISSED OFF at society. And some days I don't feel like playing nice.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Well as for the hating kids part...that's personally true for me lol.

Also I feel that by the next century at least, thanks to all the IVF autards and idiots breeding, ALL of humanity will be genetically flawed.

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Miss_Hannigan
I could have been a content, quiet, childfree person. Then the breeders starred pushing back, questioning and denigrating my choices and making me feel like a sub-human. So I'm a little bit PISSED OFF at society. And some days I don't feel like playing nice.

I haven't had any breeder push back on me in a long time, thank goodness. I guess since I'm the age I am now, it has finally sunk in that I won't ever be a parent.

I could have been content in other areas of my life as well if it weren't for others, pushing back on me. Being condemned for not breeding is all just a part of conformism.

JD

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quills
Well as for the hating kids part...that's personally true for me lol.

Also I feel that by the next century at least, thanks to all the IVF autards and idiots breeding, ALL of humanity will be genetically flawed.

This is true, and very sad. Nobody needs to read Idiocracy anymore - all they have to do is go outside.

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mypersonality.info

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."
George Bernard Shaw

"An oyster can play catch if u only give it the oprotunity"
Some random YouTube commenter

"hate comments will be deleted!! fuckers!"
Some random YouTube uploader

I'm in the "I hate kids" camp as well. I wonder what the ratio of CF people who don't mind kids is to the CF who can't stand them really is?

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jezebel_daisy
I'm in the "I hate kids" camp as well. I wonder what the ratio of CF people who don't mind kids is to the CF who can't stand them really is?

I'm in the can't stand 'em camp.

But I can still understand why people who don't mind kids dislike that being a stereotype....probably about as much as I hate the obligatory "I don't dislike kids" in any mainstream article about childfreedom.

•Childfree adults are irresponsible/immature and not able to be a good role model with children

I have been bingoed with this before. Except the opposite. I am such a responsible, mature person that I SHOULD goddamned sluice because I'd make such a great MOOO!

Yeah, especially with persistent, chronic MI, the fact that I can't stand the little bastards, and that my life would be officially ovah. Despite my problems, I probably would be a better mooo than most of 'em out there, but that still doesn't make me want to have one.

As for CF people who hate kyds vs. the ones who don't mind them? Every CF person I've ever met, with the exception of one, all hated kyds. Myself included.

I think the ones who announce that don't mind the little bastards mostly say it because they are afraid of being beaten with picks and shovels by their breeder friends, famblee and workmates.

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yurble
[[*] Childfree adults are irresponsible/immature and not able to be a good role model with children

I've always wondered about this one. Since when am I obligated to be a role model for anyone's brats?

I'm not the one who shat them. I have nothing to do with children in any capacity. Why the fuck is it my responsibility to be a "role model?" Isn't that the job of the people who actually choose to deal with them?

I also wonder this whenever people talk about celebrities being "bad role models." Um, they don't get paid to be a role model. They get paid to act, or sing, or whatever the fuck it is that they do.

Stop letting the TV parent your kyd, if you want them to have a role model.

In order for me to like a child, they have to be toddler-Jesus. That is Catharsist speak for "absolutely perfect and adult like". Usually these combinations don't exist. So I usually dislike children.

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So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

I don't generally care to be around children, so I'm not eager to be a role model. At the same time, I like to think that I'm suitable to be a role model, and that parents I know would feel comfortable with their children being around me, without fearing that I would corrupt them. I want to be respected and trusted, and I consider being acceptable as a role model to be a product of respect and trust.

I think I benefited from knowing that some of my parents' friends didn't have children. I didn't have a lot of contact with them - just a few minutes of conversation before adult topics took over - but it meant I was always aware that it was an option not to have kids. That's the one message that I hope the children I have contact with will get from me. I don't mind answering questions about not having children which are asked with curiosity rather than condemnation.

So even though I have no desire to be a honorary auntie, I will briefly engage with my PNB friends' children if they show interest in talking to me. My contact with the kids is limited by my own awkwardness and lack of desire, not because I'm considered a horrible influence.


I am absolutely not a role model for random children, however, and I have no aspirations to be, either! I think it is ridiculous to expect people you don't know to conform to fit your vision of what your children should see.

The older I get the more I am in the 'I hate kids' catagory. I used to be able to actually tollerate them.. but not anymore. I just don't want them in my sight. Is this a menopausal thing? LOL

I swear like a truckdriver. It keeps the Moos and kids away.

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I miss my little feather baby.

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yurble

• Childfree adults are irresponsible/immature and not able to be a good role model with children
• Childfree adults are not nurturing
• Childfree adults are genetically flawed
• Childfree adults hate kids

Those are the things that we (the CF) get bingoed with right before the bingoers turn around and tell us that we should just go on and have kids anyway! :crz

Um, if we are irresponsible, not nuturing, genetically flawed, and in general hate kids... WHY THE EFF would we want to have kids???? Lawdy, people are just dumb.

sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
indecision may or may not be my problem

Screeching moos and abusive dads are poor role models too, yet they are above reproach. I'd like to think my nieces and nephews believe, "Hey, Aunt Hannigan is always so calm, and her house is clean and full of good food and fun pets. I think she's on to something!"

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Um, if we are irresponsible, not nuturing, genetically flawed, and in general hate kids... WHY THE EFF would we want to have kids????

Because THEY were irresponsible, not nurturing, genetically flawed, and in general hate kids, but they bred anyways because "That's what you do" and now they want you to make the same mistake.

I wouldn't say I hate children, they can actually be fun in very, very small does. BABIES, now those I really hate. I get so tired of getting flack for not thinking baybees are cute, because 9 times out of ten, they are not.

But ask my family or friends anytime and they have very kind things to say about me, and I think the way I care for my dogs, cat, horses and sheep will disprove the whole lack of nurturing thing. Just because they aren't human doesn't mean they can't be loved and cared for. Dunno about being a good role model . . . but then again most of the people who bingo me about finding a nice Christian guy and settling down to have kids probably don't realize I go to gay bars, hang out with drag queens, occasionally drink too much at parties, swear a blue streak, and enjoy all sorts of lewd entertainment. My fundie brother even tried to accuse me of dabbling in the gothic lifestyle and witchcraft because of some pictures he saw on my FB. Nevermind the date was October 31 and another one was at a flipping costume party where I had an ogre on one side of me and a drunk referee on the other >< I blocked him, lolz.

Generally though I like to think I'm a wonderful person who doesn't shove their views on other people.

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Miss_Hannigan
I could have been a content, quiet, childfree person. Then the breeders starred pushing back, questioning and denigrating my choices and making me feel like a sub-human. So I'm a little bit PISSED OFF at society. And some days I don't feel like playing nice.

+1 on that.

Of all the personal life choices I've received flack for, this one has always pissed me off the most because it should be a non-issue. When the subject comes up, I often go on the defense right off the bat and need to catch myself because now I just expect to receive a hard time for it.

Truth be told, most childed people I've encountered recently have been pretty straight-up about parenthood not being a series of Kodak moments and don't question my decision not to follow suit. Unfortunately, this means I don't have a whole lot of stories to contribute to Bratfree. :spin

I wish I could get away from people expecting me to be a role model or someone who wants to be around their kids. I guess I give off moo-like or kyd-loving vibes. If they only knew. It would be great if moos n duhs thought all those negative things, then they would leave me and my SO the fuck alone. We are beyond breeding age and have to hear all about their troubles with their tween/teen terrors and are supposed to empathize. It's exhausting and really frustrating.

Thinking back, it was so much easier when I was younger and punkier. No one really wanted me around their kids but now I guess the default is we are the sweet harmless older couple down the street. Oh, let's go over there and talk to them about how we need more school funding and how they should volunteer for the bake sale. How'd this happen?!

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Snark Shark

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blondie
Thinking back, it was so much easier when I was younger and punkier. No one really wanted me around their kids but now I guess the default is we are the sweet harmless older couple down the street. Oh, let's go over there and talk to them about how we need more school funding and how they should volunteer for the bake sale. How'd this happen?!

you need to start wearing leather! shirts with upsidedown crosses on `em!

It doesn't matter. I used to have biker and punk friends. They turned into breeders or breeder pleasers by forty years old and they still wear leather and so do their spawn. The bikers now do a lot of charity rides mostly for kyds. The "punks" and metalheads do benefit concerts for kyds causes. Most people turn breeder pleaser with age, there is a huge expectation of that. Even the hardcore CF are expected to break down and turn to mush eventually.

The parunts keep the kiddies away from single older men (molester-ers) but middle aged women and couples are nice targets to bug when they want shit.

Here is my break-down of Yurble's list of breeder assumptions:

•Childfree adults are irresponsible/immature and not able to be a good role model with children
The very same thing can be said for breeders who get knocked up in their teens, while unemployed, single, etc. They are generally not good role models either, because they don't teach their children values.

•Childfree adults are not nurturing
Breeders often neglect and abuse their children. Are those considered nurturing behaviors?

•Childfree adults’ lives are not complete
Breeder's lives aren't complete either, since their entire lives revolve around changing diapers, shrieking brats, udder-feeding, etc. etc. Childfree people have more opportunities to pursue their life goals and dreams.

•Childfree adults are genetically flawed
If it were only the childfree who were genetically flawed! How do they explain all the defective, autistic and screwed-up kyds that barely survive their tenth birthday?

•Childfree adults hate kids
According to what I've read, some breeders can't stand their own kyds. Why should they expect CF people to love kyds, if they hate them?

•Childfree adults secretly feel distressed about not having children
Only ChildLESS people are distressed about not sluicing. Truly CF people are happy with their choice, and often seek out permanent sterilization so that they will never have that little 'miracle' happen to them.

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drake
I swear like a truckdriver. It keeps the Moos and kids away.

I can make a sailor blush if I get going.

If a kid is quiet, well-behaved and leaves me the fuck alone (kinda goes hand in hand with well behaved, lol), I don't mind them. Which means I can't fucking stand 95% of kids.

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Childfree adults are not nurturing

BULLSHIT. I've bottle raised kittens, plus, DH and I are fostering 2 kittens right now that were saved from a kill shelter. They didn't need to be bottle fed, but they depend on DH and I to survive. We're also the same people who have held the foster kittens so they didn't cry and feel abandoned.

My husband is as child-free as me and he's taken care of me after my surgeries, just as I have cared for him after he had his.

Sooooooooooo.....correct me if I'm wrong, but I'd consider the above nurturing.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

It never fails to amuse me when breeders attempt to insult us by telling us how immature,crazy, mean, selfish,etc.we all are for not having kids. They find us to be such repulsive examples of human beings, yet they want us to be put in charge of other lives. Just more proof that they merely want us to suffer along with them - they're pissed off that we didn't make the same shit choices they did, so they want to try to tear us down and make us feel bad for what we didn't do.

If a person is sensitive, weak, and easily impressionable, then they could be affected enough by bingoes that they run out and ruin their lives with kids they don't want. Of course, when someone has kids they don't want and proceeds to abuse them, the bingoing parties will do a full 180 and tell them what a horrible person they are and how they should never have had any kids.

BUT pretty much all CFers are stronger than that - they are confident enough in their own choices and feelings that they won't be led astray because some asshole doesn't agree with them.

I think the thing I hate most about bingoes is it's somehow seen as acceptable to harass childfree people about their choices, but if anyone - CF or otherwise - does it back to a breeder, then the breeder is the poor widdle victim with the hurted peewins. Why is it always open season on us, but the life choices of the breeder scum are too sacred to be questioned?

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But hey, let's look at these monstrosities anyway:

Childfree adults are irresponsible/immature and not able to be a good role model with children

Children do not automatically make you grow up and be mature. There are PLENTY of immature parents out there who do fuck all to raise their kids - in fact, it could easily be a CFer pulling a kid out of traffic to save their life while Mommy is oblivious and yacking away on a phone paid for with welfare dollars.

Childfree adults are not nurturing
Correction: Childfree people are often not nurturing toward children. It doesn't mean there is a complete lack of nurturing in their lives. Many CFers are pet owners, or they take care of sick/injured loved ones. Many parents are not very nurturing toward their kids either, but it's assumed that sluicing a brat = instant mature,loving adult. It doesn't. If you aren't nurturing toward something or someone already, making a new human will not instill such skills in a person.

Childfree adults’ lives are not complete
Ah, but that's the thing. Our lives ARE complete.The thing is most people feel the cure for emptiness in life is to have a baby. CFers realize this is very much untrue, and so should our lives feel incomplete, we will find ways to fill these voids that don't involve creating unnecessary lives. We're smart enough to realize that babies do not make lives complete, and the breeders who say otherwise are just pissed that they didn't figure that out sooner.

Childfree adults are genetically flawed
Nah, not really, though the reasons some CF people choose to not spawn could be not wanting to risk passing on an illness. People who have family histories of things like cancer and mental illness may realize the best thing they can do for their children is to ensure those children are never born. Breeders, on the other hand, usually don't care what they inflict upon their kids, just so long as they can have kids. So if not wanting to pass on something to someone who doesn't ask to be born makes me flawed, then I certainly have no desire to be "normal."

Childfree adults hate kids
Well yes, some do. But not all of us do - some CFers don't mind kids, some like them. Some have jobs that involve working with children (like teaching). But this is not a shoe that fits every single foot and it's ignorant to paint every CFer with the same brush. Besides, in many cases, I think it's less a matter of hating the child and more a matter of hating the parents for not raising the child very well.

Childfree adults secretly feel distressed about not having children
If this is the case, then they're not childfree. They are childLESS and want to try and validate their barren loins in some way. Joining a childfree group lets them be angry at parents because they can't be one themselves, and angry at children because they can't have any themselves. But that's childLESS. Genuinely CF people are not distressed in any way over their choice to not have kids, from what I can tell. On the contrary, most CFers who are not sterilized get distressed over the thought of conception occurring. Breeders just like to tell themselves (and us too) that we must be losing sleep over not spawning because they honestly don't understand why someone wouldn't want to "grow up" and have some kids like a "normal" adult. They want to believe we're all suffering so they can feel better about suffering themselves.

[*] Childfree adults are irresponsible/immature and not able to be a good role model with children
Role model? Isn't that the parent's job? Talk about lazy, not only do they want me to pick up their slack at work, now I have to mentor their brats?

[*] Childfree adults are not nurturing
I take care of my husband and my pets every day. I spend time with them, take care of them when they are sick and love them all very much. I read something horrible every day about what some breeder did to their poor kids, abuse, torture, neglect and outright hate. If dropping a loaf is going to make me like that, fuck no to breeding.

[*] Childfree adults’ lives are not complete
They got me there, they are right.

My life is not complete. It's not completely filled with shit, screaming, drudgery, hatred, self-loathing and misery because I made the smart decision NEVER to breed.

[*] Childfree adults are genetically flawed
And all these people who spawn multiple autards, triso defectives and tons of other kids that will never know a productive, normal, pain-free life are not flawed? LMFAO!!!!!!!

[*] Childfree adults hate kids
Can't speak for all CF, but no. I don't necessarily hate all kids. But I absolutely do hate retarded, selfish, rude, assholish breeder parents that inflict their feral brats on the world because they are too busy with their own lives to corral their spawn.

[*] Childfree adults secretly feel distressed about not having children
I am distressed about kids, this is true.

Distressed that until menopause I am still fertile and I have to be vigilant about my BC to make DAMN SURE I NEVER GET KNOCKED UP.

I think that about covers it.

Mod's note: I deleted the other 6 copies - I hope this was the one you wanted to keep. It was the only one with bold headings.

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Shrieking babbies are the most effective birth control on earth.

My post went through six times?

When I hit send, it took a long time to go through, but I didn't see multiples. I did an edit to add the bolded. But that went through quickly. WEIRD.

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Shrieking babbies are the most effective birth control on earth.

I liked the one about CF being distressed over not shitting out brats! Why the fuck do breeders have to project so damn much?

Oh hell, I would be fucking suicidal if I had brats! I would be wondering what the hell have I just done and why did I sentence myself to a life of fucking hell for the sake of something that is going to "hate" me because I won't buy it a car or let it burn down the house.