:wtf Ultrasound parties: New frontier in pregnancy oversharing

Stupid Fucking Attention Whoring Moos

:cen :scr

your children are overrated and overvalued, and
you've turned them into little cult objects. George Carlin

Not a single gram of fuck shall be given today

Oh please. I think all these ultrasounds are helping create a generation of flapping autards, anyway. It's just another excuse for moo to show off her gross distended belly and bathe in the adulation.

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Party on this moo
Spot the kidney stones



we all ought to print thi and whip it out when the sprogsouds come out

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

What is wrong with these people?

That's all I got.

Just, what is wrong with them?

Do they literally think with their uteri? Isn't there anything out in the real world that interests them? Because all I see is method #4569879875 for ripening breeders to fish for udder rubs. They literally do nothing else but sit around and think of more ways turn their mundane bodily functions into a parade.

I do like the quote by Grandpa though. It is themost sensible thing in the whole puke-worthy pile of crap.

“I don’t know why they keep showing that,” said Frank Enderle, Jonathon’s 90-year-old grandfather, gesturing toward the monitor. “You can only see so much of it.”

But as guests drifted off for seconds on sandwiches, the baby moved and a collective "Aww..." swept the room. Everyone was re-engaged, including Grandpa Frank.

“Looks like an old man,” he said.

larious

People are actually entertained by this shit?

Although, since they are Moos, I suppose that's easy to do.

You could probably jingle keys in front of a Moo and they would be occupied for hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my little feather baby.

Quote
drake
People are actually entertained by this shit?

Although, since they are Moos, I suppose that's easy to do.

You could probably jingle keys in front of a Moo and they would be occupied for hours.

larious

When you get moos together in one room, their collective IQ will plummet.

Quote
toomanybrats

Quote
drake
People are actually entertained by this shit?

Although, since they are Moos, I suppose that's easy to do.

You could probably jingle keys in front of a Moo and they would be occupied for hours.

larious

When you get moos together in one room, their collective IQ will plummet.

This is assuming the Collective ever had an IQ to start with. I could write a book and call it How To Keep An Idiot Busy For Hours. It would be all about moos and they would never know it.

Quote
toomanybrats

Quote
drake
People are actually entertained by this shit?

Although, since they are Moos, I suppose that's easy to do.

You could probably jingle keys in front of a Moo and they would be occupied for hours.

larious

When you get moos together in one room, their collective IQ will plummet.

We must find a way to profit from their idiocy.

So, unhappy with a simple baby show, they now expect gifts at:

1. ultrasound party;
2. gender reveal party (some moos have turned this idiocrocy into scavenger hunts); and
3. an actual baby shower.

Gimme.
Gimme more.
Gimme 'til it hurts.

Quote
sheila
So, unhappy with a simple baby show, they now expect gifts at:

1. ultrasound party;
2. gender reveal party (some moos have turned this idiocrocy into scavenger hunts); and
3. an actual baby shower.

Gimme.
Gimme more.
Gimme 'til it hurts.

Fucking insane, isn't it?

They expect presents for being an idiot and forgetting to use a condom. Or, alternatively, doing what a rat could do and figuring out how to make Tab A go in Slot B.

Really, they just think they're entitled to free shit for no fucking reason, a trend that starts the minute the strip turns blue and continues for the rest of their pathetic lives.

This is why I will never, ever go to a baby shower or any of the retarded spin-offs of the concept. I am not spending my money and time pretending I'm so impressed that your uterus works.

I had a "tubal party" and an "abortion party," but all I asked was for people to kick in a couple bucks for booze and food. And also, to come with a selection of their finest dead baby jokes.

If baby showers were something like that (although with fake booze and some other type of funny, I would assume), I still wouldn't go, but they wouldn't bother me.

As it stands, I have zero respect for entitle-whore moos who throw these things.

Okay, My thought on this, is.. What happenes if the baby is deformed? I personally wouldnt want to gather all my friends together and then us all find out at once that my parasite had three arms and 4 tits. I mean really, this is just going to be another way for moo to attention whore. "Whaaaa! I threw this party and I just found out that my baybeeeee looks weeeeird! Mooooo! Everyone else saw! MOOO! MY PARTY is RUINED! MOOOOOOOO!"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

Quote
catharsist
I personally wouldnt want to gather all my friends together and then us all find out at once that my parasite had three arms and 4 tits.

" Oh my ... Lord Brahma is in my womb !"

Quote
sheila
So, unhappy with a simple baby show, they now expect gifts at:

1. ultrasound party;
2. gender reveal party (some moos have turned this idiocrocy into scavenger hunts); and
3. an actual baby shower.

Gimme.
Gimme more.
Gimme 'til it hurts.

The Cows in my monkey sphere have ALWAYS received more than one shower, always. They also expect, and receive, multiple showers for EACH loaf, regardless of how recently they have shat the last. However, the first loaf showers are generally greater in number and yield a higher turn out of guests and a larger number of gifts. The typical co-worker, neighbor, friend, relative, etc....I have been acquainted with over the years generally have the following, at least:


Cow Loaf Showers-Southern Stylem
Church Shower-They ALWAYS get these as it's typical for the ladies of the church to band together for loaf showers, but mostly it ends up being a year long cluster fuck circle of showers suggested and hosted by one another FOR one another. You can't go to a Baptist church service and NOT expect at LEAST one loaf shower announcement for that month before the sermon. Generally at those, the gift items aren't as pricey, but many more attend and it's usually held in the fellowship hall with a light lunch. Gifts at these range from $5 to $15 types of gifts like diapers, lotions, wipes, pacifiers, bibs, etc......

Friends of the Expectant Moo Showers-Much like the work place shower, the friends' shower gifts generally fall in the $25-$50 range with that token one big ticket item. At these, you can expect a bunch of cucumber sandwiches, pastel colored mints, and Pineapple Sherbet Punch. Among other gifts, they usually gets lots of toys at these and shit like crib mobiles, chew toys, Baby Mozart DVDS, etc......

Famblee of the Inpig-Since it's considered in poor taste for a family member to host a shower for the friends, but they all want to DO something, at these it can go one of two ways: It can be an all out famblee reunion type of a get together like a pot luck or BBQ, OR it can be similar to the friends' shower with finger food. Often, more than one cousin is in competition with the other when they reside in areas not close together and they'll get two or three of these. Gifts range in the $25-$50, much like the other showers. There is ALWAYS a very BIG ticket item at these too, generally from the parents or inlaws and can be something as expensive as a 1k SUV stroller to an even higher priced crib, bassinet, or possibly even priceless famblee heirlooms are given if it's a first loaf. Mee Maws are always in attendance and attempt to out gift one another. I have been to these where they give in excess of 3 expensive gifts EACH.

Neighbors and Acquaintance Shower- I have seen small ones with finger food and $15 gift ranges all the way to full blown block parties with expensive gifts being received and an expensive BBQ with a band and/or a catered lunch. I have also been to these at lake houses or ranches that are especially extravagant. I recall one with a fucking CARNIVAL there with animals, pony rides, clowns, and merry go rounds, etc......for the existing kids of all in attendance.

CLOSE Friends Shower-Generally, several "close" friends get together and make a reservation at a pricey restaurant or country club and while there, they give gifts too which are generally in the medium price range of $50 or so. They ALWAYS get separate checks too and then argue over which one will pay for the Inpig Moo's lunch. A waiter can expect to see hundreds of dollars worth of presents, a $200 plus lunch tab, and a $20 tip, at best, after having suffered through two hours of giggling and squealing by a bunch of grown women and MULTIPLE water and tea refills. If it's held at a club, ALL the waiter might get is the mandatory 8% gratuity added to the check and possibly some loose change scattered about.

Work Shower-Typically they'll get lots of gift bags with loaf gift shit in it in the $25-$50 price range AND a "big ticket" item where several have gone in together on a car seat, loaf bouncer, Pak N' Play or other $100+ item gift. If the Cow is of the unemployed "stay at home" variety, it is not uncommon for the women at the place of employment of her husband to throw the "office shower". When I worked in an office with the only other people being about a dozen men, I was actually asked to host and/or plan the various wives' baby showers for "the office". That was mostly my father's fault, because he owned the business, but it was expected of me none the less EVEN THOUGH we were all equals and self employed.

This is typical in all businesses though, only usually it's a bunch of busy body women who take it upon themselves to do it instead of the lone woman being expected to, like myself. At these, one can expect anything from finger food to a full blown famblee BBQ, depending on who handles the damned thing. What an AWKWARD position that put me in and I am SO thankful to be away from that sexist bullshit!:smn

I have done my time with hosting and attending showers. Now, IF I know and really like the Inpig, I will send a $25 gift card. If I don't really know her or don't like her,I just ignore it and don't even "RSVP", which is a RIDICULOUS requirement for a baby shower invitation, IMHO.

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Christ, Kim, I wouldn't want to go to one shower, let alone 6 different kinds of hell. That's madness! But it's interesting to see how the regions differ. Here in the frosty midwest, I've only seen the family and friend loafstravaganza, usually held at a big house or a private room at a restaurant, and then the token work loaf gift grab. The last one of those I went to, the co-worker moo-to-be was super hormonal and just started bawling right in the fucking conference room. That was awkward to witness.

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

I went to one baby shower growing up. I remember thinking that it was baby's first shower... Heh. That actually means time to shower the piggo with gifts. I gotta say, I just need to understand. What the fuck kind of accomplishment is fucking without protection!? How does that even REMOTELY qualify you to receive gifts? I could see it if she was baking a college degree in there, but that's not the case! I mean come on! Where the hell is my sterilization shower!? From what I hear getting sterilized at 21 is hard! And another thing! I hate that they call them showers! So stupid!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

Quote
catharsist
I hate that they call them showers! So stupid!

I think Sheila's typo is actually quite apt:

Quote
sheila
So, unhappy with a simple baby show...

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

One other thing I forgot to mention about Southern Loaf Showers, "SLS"™ is the highly pretentious, sometimes bordering on ostentatious, "display" of all the loaf gifts at the Inpig Moo's house. This is where she literally has ALL the loaf gifts received thus far, along with name cards in front of each so everyone knows who gave what, displayed on tables that are generally set up in a separate room for public viewing. If her nursery is large enough, she'll have all that shit strung out in the Loaf's room. They do this with wedding gifts too only it's generally done at the Moo of the Bride's house EVEN IF she's been living with her fiance' for 2 years. It is acceptable and expected that any and all visitors go ooh and aahh over all the gifts and this public display generally begins around the 6th or 7th month of inpigness when the gifts start rolling in and doesn't end until about a month or two after she sluices.

TACKIEST Loaf Shower on Record
I'd also like to share the WORST tacky display of greed I have EVER witnessed when it comes to Loaf showers. I have mentioned this and these people before, but their numerous and wanton acts of greed are SO great and far reaching and spanning 4 decades, its difficult NOT to use them as a measuring stick of greed and tackiness. Brief background: The Moo to be is one of the daughters of my parents' lifetime friends and she was raised in wealth and privilege that didn't occur until she was about 12 years of age. It took about that long for her father's medical practice to really start being successful financially and for his investments to start paying off. Up until then, they lived the lifestyle of a military officer's family, which was comfortable but not extravagant like it later became.

FEW things are worse than people with low class coming into a little money, and she and her sisters took after their mother who was CLEARLY "new money" from the wrong side of the rail road tracks. Although I cared a great deal for her father, the way his kids turned out had a lot to do with his giving them WAY TOO MUCH, which he often talked about regretting in the years preceding his death. Anyway, back to the tacky loaf shower extravaganza. "Elizabeth" had spent tens of thousands of dollars trying to get a loaf in the oven the old fashioned way and after a decade of "trying", she bought a kid from Argentina, which cost about 100k because she just HAD to have a "HWI" 'Healthy White Infant". About two months before the loaf was to arrive at the airport for pick up, she held HERSELF a loaf shower which would rival anything hosted by a celebrity.

Her mother had told her money was no issue and she took FULL advantage of it. I don't know who all she said this to, but to me she actually said, "I am nearly 40 years old and my parents and I have given THOUSANDS of baby shower gifts over the years and I am going to invite anyone and everyone I have ever known Mom to give a gift to too and they had BETTER give me a present!" This "guest list" was UNBELIEVABLE and included at least TEN THOUSAND people, complete with an RSVP card in each invitation as well. These people now lived all over the world and many, if not most, she had not had contact with in DECADES and some, since she was a child! This was circa 2000.

The "Guest List" Included the Following People:

1) All regular patients, years past and recent, her father had ever had spanning a 30 year practice. By this point he had been dead for over a year or she WOULD have invited the current patients

2)Past and present members of their church, which was the largest one in the city, and took up two city blocks

3)Past and present neighbors of hers and her parents

4)Staff and management of all local charities to which they had ever donated anything

5)Owners and staff of all retail establishments where she or her family were regular customers, including shops, restaurants, dry cleaners, dog groomers, florists, caterers, hair and nail salons, etc....

6)All of her father's former colleagues which included just about every doctor in the city AND their staff

7)Teachers, coaches, instructors of dance, piano, and other arts, etc............. of her nieces and nephews

8)Former college classmates of hers and her husband they probably hadn't seen in 15 years

9)All friends and acquaintances of hers and her parents and most of their children she MAY have met at a Christmas open house in years past

10)All of her husband's and brothers in law colleagues, past and present, which could include most every attorney, CPA, law enforcement official, and politician in the city

11)She also grilled and pestered her disabled mother to go through old records, like decades of check book stubs and receipts, and dredge up from her memory too looking for names of gift recipients, just in case anyone had been overlooked.

The "Event"
Her adopted loaf shower was held as a formal event on one entire floor of a country club and of course, fully catered in every way imaginable. The invitations said something like, "Come and celebrate our new loaf arrival", after the part about "Mr. and Mrs. Greederson request the honor of your presence at our 4 hour long gift grab..."There was a band, buffet, cash bar(which I thought was uber tacky), Champagne fountains, ice sculptures, and a 100 foot long table where all the loot was displayed as well as a HUGE pink basket FULL of envelopes containing money and gift cards, I'd guess more than 500 in that alone. I didn't attend, but my sister did and took pictures as well as filled me in on all of it. Overall, I think about 2-3 thousand actually attended and probably double that sent gifts.

AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, the week prior to that she had an "open house" gift grab at her mansion and there were about a thousand in attendance at that and it was held in that same garish style. She bought another loaf a few years after that and did the SAME DAMNED THING.:headbrick

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Loafing Southern-Style is amazing to behold...what a goddamn story! Now that's entitlement!

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Damn Kim, that's quite a story!

I was invited to a loaf shower at my previous job after I'd been out of there for almost a year. I thought it was amusing because I used to supervise this person, and it would drive me up the wall how she tried to use her existing kid to get out of working regular hours. Yeah, no thanks!

Quote
sheila
So, unhappy with a simple baby show, they now expect gifts at:

1. ultrasound party;
2. gender reveal party (some moos have turned this idiocrocy into scavenger hunts); and
3. an actual baby shower.

Lets not forget about AFTER the sluicing event. These crazed Moos expect everyone to come over with food, any 'extras' she 'needs', take care of the loaf so she can shower and shit, and expects them to clean her house.

Quote
Miss_Hannigan
Christ, Kim, I wouldn't want to go to one shower, let alone 6 different kinds of hell. That's madness! But it's interesting to see how the regions differ. Here in the frosty midwest, I've only seen the family and friend loafstravaganza, usually held at a big house or a private room at a restaurant, and then the token work loaf gift grab. The last one of those I went to, the co-worker moo-to-be was super hormonal and just started bawling right in the fucking conference room. That was awkward to witness.

Oh for the love of...

It's women like her who make the rest of us look bad! No wonder we're not taken seriously.

--------------

mypersonality.info

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."
George Bernard Shaw

"An oyster can play catch if u only give it the oprotunity"
Some random YouTube commenter

"hate comments will be deleted!! fuckers!"
Some random YouTube uploader

Wow KKim! Your stories never cease to entertain/horrify/amaze me!

Quote
jezebel_daisy
Wow KKim! Your stories never cease to entertain/horrify/amaze me!

I have quite a collection and they are ALL TRUE.

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

You'd think with all these showers moos would actually be rather clean.(bad joke)
I had a tubal shower, although my tubal was delayed a month. I went shopping, went to a movie with family etc. It was pretty decent. All moos deserve at a baby shower is a box of condoms, because as they obviously can't afford baby supplies(thus the begging via baby shower), they most likely couldn't afford condoms.