Happy Fucking Mother's Day

I'd like to take a moment and wish the moos around me a happy fucking Mother's Day.

To the idiot moo who allowed her gently disciplined, attachment parented, homeschooled brats from hell to destroy my husband's eighty dollar Bonsai plant, Happy Fucking Mother's Day. ALL seven of your little nightmares are hell on this neighborhood. I hope they're even worse for you.

To the moos expecting their wallets, er, I suppose you call them husbands, to break the bank for you, Happy Fucking Mother's Day. I hope they don't give you jack fucking shit. Actually, I hope they cook you the same fish sticks and French fries you cook for them on a regular basis. Maybe then you'll see what you're like to deal with every day.

To the moo whose toadler screams like a banshee all day, every day, happy fucking Mother's Day. You're going to be covered in toadler urine and Goddess only knows what else on what is supposedly your "special day." I sincerely hope it sucks for you. I hope you have the same migraine I get from listening to your toadler screech. Your oldest is supposedly a boy. I'll take your word for that. From what I've seen he's a total fucking pussy. I hope he grows out of that. Not for your sake, but for the sake of the people stuck dealing with him.

To all the moos all over the world who have given birth, Happy Fucking Mother's Day. For reasons I will never understand the world is supposed to celebrate you doing what cockroaches have been doing for millenia. Some of you even attract cockroaches with your very own stench. Keep it up, sunshine. You're pretty fucking special for that.

Happy fucking Mother's Day, mommies all over the wolrd. I hope it sucks just as badly as every other day. Let's at least take this one day to be painfully honest. Your lives DO suck. Not only do your lives suck, you make the concious decision to make it suck even worse by having MORE spawn and then try to tell the CF women you truly hate how it's all worth it. Yeah right. We've never believed you. Not even for a second.

Good luck, moos. While you are doing the same old crap you've always done I will be shopping for my gifts of cosmetics and purse my sweet loving APPRECIATIVE husband has decided to surprise me with. While I'm out shopping and looking better than you could ever hope to I'm going to look at your misery and laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh

Have a happy fucking Mother's day, moos of the world. I hope it sucks just as bad as any other day.
Sincerely, the child free woman you know, hate and loathe.

P.S. Don't ever try lying to a CF woman ever again. You loathe us and I'm laughing at that loathing. I sincerely hope other CF women get as much of a laugh from that as I do.

I wanted to get that off of my chest for a couple of hours now. I took a short break from Bratfree long enough to go get a pizza for dinner and someone asked if I wanted to register for a drawing. They were raffling a diaper genie and all of it's accessories. The fuck is a damn diaper genie or do I really want to know??? That little tangent has been running through my head ever since and I felt like I should share it.

:yr

Epic!!

Pure perfection! I cannot stand Moo Day.

Beautiful!

And no, you don't want to know what a diaper genie is.

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"Be yourself, no matter what. Some will adore you, and some will hate everything about you, but who cares?

It's your life. Make the most out of it."

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brown-eyed diamond
Beautiful!

And no, you don't want to know what a diaper genie is.

Seconded... you will never be able to 'unknow' once you are told the functions of a Diaper Genie.
'Ignorance is Bliss' in this particular case.

It's only Saturday and I already had two men - the bus driver and the guy who cut my hair - wish me "happy Mother's Day weekend." Although I wanted to tell them that I am profoundly grateful to be nobody's mother, I know they were just trying to be "nice." So I said "You too!" After all, Mother's Day has about as much to do with me as it does with them.

This makes me forever grateful for having stayed in today...and I will stay in tomorrow and enjoy my Psycho movie marathon. I was plastered with Moo Day greetings one year; I don't ever plan on having that happen again. I found it very insulting and it left me feeling extremely stabby.

_________________________________________________________

Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

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spinstar
It's only Saturday and I already had two men - the bus driver and the guy who cut my hair - wish me "happy Mother's Day weekend." Although I wanted to tell them that I am profoundly grateful to be nobody's mother, I know they were just trying to be "nice." So I said "You too!" After all, Mother's Day has about as much to do with me as it does with them.

I had three men wish me a "happy Mother's Day" today.

I told one of them, "I'm not a mother."

"Not yet?"

"Not ever."

The man gave me a look like I had just kicked his puppy and muttered something about how I hated kyds. I cheerfully replied, "Yep, sure do."

It's Moo Day? Hadn't noticed. One of the nice things about not having a TV, and being out of contact with my crazy mother.

I'm waiting for Non-Parents' Day. August 1st! Also happens to be the anniversary of my tubal.

Come to think of it, today is the day I took home a beautiful kitty. I now declare Moo Day to be Cat Day. I will celebrate every year by totally ignoring moos (which I already do), and getting my cat a toy instead.

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satansbitch
I wanted to get that off of my chest for a couple of hours now. I took a short break from Bratfree long enough to go get a pizza for dinner and someone asked if I wanted to register for a drawing. They were raffling a diaper genie and all of it's accessories. The fuck is a damn diaper genie or do I really want to know??? That little tangent has been running through my head ever since and I felt like I should share it.

Diaper Gene

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Allow me to add a few more moos to the thread.

Happy fucking Mother’s Day to Shauna, Douche and other cuntbloggers who see their kids as nothing more than fashion accessories to spruce up the old blog and make them appear famblee oriented when in reality they’re just a bunch of lazy, spoiled, selfish twunts who can’t be bothered to get a real job, or do anything besides laying about the house. Happy fucking mother’s day, bitches. I hope all your kids throw you into shitty nursing homes and then suck your bank accounts dry.
Happy fucking mother’s day to my breeder whore cousin, who is due to shit her fifth loaf in July. May you trip and fall down a flight of stairs that will result in a miscarriage. That’ll be one less kid forced to grow up with a self-centred mooo who never wanted kids anyway, yet was too stupid to use birth control.
Happy fucking mother’s day to my religious neighbour that used to babysit me, and hated me because I didn’t have a penis. Haven’t seen this bitch in a while, but I think it’s safe to assume that her precious golden penis did not turn out the good Catholic boy she intended on raising him to be. I hope it was hell for you, hypocritical cunt who took off with the first rich guy that paid attention to her.
May this be the absolute worst day of your lives.

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craftyzits

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satansbitch
I wanted to get that off of my chest for a couple of hours now. I took a short break from Bratfree long enough to go get a pizza for dinner and someone asked if I wanted to register for a drawing. They were raffling a diaper genie and all of it's accessories. The fuck is a damn diaper genie or do I really want to know??? That little tangent has been running through my head ever since and I felt like I should share it.

Diaper Gene

What has been seen can not be unseen. What has been learned can not be unlearned. That will never change no matter how much I wish it would. At least after five pm I can try to erase that image with wine and take comfort in the fact that that THING will never have a place in my home. Never me, moos. Never me.

:yr This rant is fantastic! I love it! I've been fortunate enough that nobody has wished me happy moo day in my life. I think it's because I don't get out very often. If someone WERE to say that to me, I'd have to restrain myself from telling them to go fuck themselves. To me, to be assumed to be a mother because I'm of "childbearing age" is an insult. It's like implying that I'm nothing more than a walking uterus and have no other value. I'm lucky enough to have a decent relationship with my mom, but I still hate moo day. I don't think there should be special holidays for parents.

I "like" TheOneRing.Net on Facebook. I saw this morning that they had changed their cover photo and I went LIVID.

https://www.facebook.com/TheOneRingnet?fref=ts

Here is the image in question, if it works -

FFS NO GODDAMMIT!

What on earth does the fact that some actresses who played in the films sprogged have ANYTHING to do with Tolkien, or LOTR, or anything? Tacking on that dizzy cow Evangeline Lily adds to my annoyance more than you could imagine, she made LOST nearly unbearable to watch at times.

RAWR.

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Shiny
Tacking on that dizzy cow Evangeline Lily adds to my annoyance more than you could imagine, she made LOST nearly unbearable to watch at times.

RAWR.

Thank you! She ruined LOST for me too. The absolute worst among the entire cast. Her forced crying and whining 'Jack' drove me up the fucking wall. I hope sprogging removes her from the entertainment industry.

Awesome post, satansbitch :yr

It's wall to wall Moo Day crap all over the net.

Bah.

I should say it's wall to wall sentimental, schmaltzy, treacly Moo Day CRAP!

A tribute to Moms in the kitchen? Moo's favorite recipes hog slops?

Gimme a FUCKING BREAK!

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zeropop

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spinstar
It's only Saturday and I already had two men - the bus driver and the guy who cut my hair - wish me "happy Mother's Day weekend." Although I wanted to tell them that I am profoundly grateful to be nobody's mother, I know they were just trying to be "nice." So I said "You too!" After all, Mother's Day has about as much to do with me as it does with them.

I had three men wish me a "happy Mother's Day" today.

I told one of them, "I'm not a mother."

"Not yet?"

"Not ever."

The man gave me a look like I had just kicked his puppy and muttered something about how I hated kyds. I cheerfully replied, "Yep, sure do."

hankyou

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lilin_unite
It's Moo Day? Hadn't noticed. One of the nice things about not having a TV, and being out of contact with my crazy mother.

I'm waiting for Non-Parents' Day. August 1st! Also happens to be the anniversary of my tubal.

Come to think of it, today is the day I took home a beautiful kitty. I now declare Moo Day to be Cat Day. I will celebrate every year by totally ignoring moos (which I already do), and getting my cat a toy instead.

Didn't know there was a Non-Parents Day - that's cool.

Also cool about your tubal aniversary.

To all the lurking entitled moos reading, Happy Fucking Mother's Day to you! It's bad enough the internet gets plastered every other day with your ridiculous mommy blogs, mommy wars, woe-is-me tales about what little hellions your crotch demons are, and general trashing of people who choose not to live the same boring ass lives that you do.

Now, every May, there is one day dedicated to crowing about doing something that people have only been doing for millenia. Get the fuck over yourselves, you stupid cuntcakes. You're not that special. You sluiced....wow, big fucking deal. Cockroaches sluice, too...should we wish them a Happy Mother's Day? Actually, now that I think about it, roaches make better moms that a lot of 'moms' I see today. You don't hear of roaches leaving their kids in hot cars for hours, roaches don't hold 'nurse-ins', roaches certainly don't post vomit-inducing mommy blogs and humiliating their offspring in the process, and roaches don't judge other roaches' parenting skills in general.

To any overly entitled moo who dares to lurk today : Go fuck yourself with a tree trunk with shards of glass sticking out. I suspect that with your wind-tunnel-sized vasshole, you won't feel a thing. However, should you cut yourself, just rub some majikal titteh joose on it...you moos claim it cures everything, after all.

_________________________________________________________

Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

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Zzelda
It's wall to wall Moo Day crap all over the net.

Bah.

I should say it's wall to wall sentimental, schmaltzy, treacly Moo Day CRAP!

A tribute to Moms in the kitchen? Moo's favorite recipes hog slops?

Gimme a FUCKING BREAK!

I have to admit though, I'm having a ball reading posts from all the whiny moos that haven't been getting the special treatment they think they so deserve. My days are special 365 days a year and they don't even get one.

:biggrin2

Here's an appropriate pic...courtesy of Kerrygold Dairy products (love their stuff)!

Oh...here's a post from Cool Childfree Guy! (I think he about sums it up....)

_________________________________________________________

Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

Today is a Me Day.

Went grocery shopping this morning bought myself a gorgeous bouquet of flowers for $12.99, some chicken breasts for hubby and me tonight, and a bag of Hershey's Bliss dark chocolate with caramel candy. Oh yeah, and I'm taking tea on the lanai and enjoying lake life right now.

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zeropop

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spinstar
It's only Saturday and I already had two men - the bus driver and the guy who cut my hair - wish me "happy Mother's Day weekend." Although I wanted to tell them that I am profoundly grateful to be nobody's mother, I know they were just trying to be "nice." So I said "You too!" After all, Mother's Day has about as much to do with me as it does with them.

I had three men wish me a "happy Mother's Day" today.

I told one of them, "I'm not a mother."

"Not yet?"

"Not ever."

The man gave me a look like I had just kicked his puppy and muttered something about how I hated kyds. I cheerfully replied, "Yep, sure do."

I would have replied:

"I'm a mother all right. A mother fucker."

But I'm into shock value, being a bitch and all.

Ug, I could be getting packing done but no, someone decided to have kids so I have to take time out of my life to fawn over them. Congrats on creating a job and a holiday for yourself! Sigh.