Motherhood is so lonely, claims a writer who hasn't even given birth yet.

What triggered this statement? Well, it was meeting up with some of her long-term friends and having them ask about her husband's job--and express no interest in her impending moohood.

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“So, how is your husband’s job going?”

“Uh, great,” I said. “He’s really liking it.”

It would have been a fine thing to ask, except that it was the only thing they asked. Then the conversation rolled on to the others: new jobs, getting-serious-now boyfriends, upcoming travels.

“But wait!” I felt like hollering. “What about what’s going on in my life?”

Perhaps nobody else is interested in your move to the 'burbs, and your switch from a regular job to "freelance mommy writer"? She seems to sense that, wondering if she's already uninteresting and irrelevant.

"And just like that, I felt a rift appear between me and my closest friends in the world..."

My guess is that once she spawns, it'll be a ravine to rival the Grand Canyon. Common interests is the only thing that will keep a friendship together post-spawning, and she isn't at all interested in what they're saying, because she's too busy being hurt about them not asking her more about her pregnancy.



Here's my favorite comment:

So these are your most wonderfulest, dearest friends, and you didn't say anything about what you were thinking or feeling about your life changes? You just sat there, mute? Were they supposed to read your mind? Or was it that they didn't sense the very most specialness of your impending (cue music) mommy-hood and act like they cared about nothing else? ...

And this one's probably the worst, although there are other contenders:

It's all up to you, dear, but it comes naturally to most mothers. To me, you are not a fully realized woman unless you are a mother (adoptive and foster count). This attitude I have has really ticked off most of my longtime girlfriends, most of whom are childless, but it's true. Until you have mothered a child, you are a little selfish little man. How do I know this? I had my first child at the age of thirty-three and it made a real woman out of me.

Do you think that spontaneous sex change takes place before or after the pregnancy?

:bedmadelie :Violin

No sympathy here, either. Sucks (again) to be moo.
:bedmadelie

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lab mom

Apart from the Department of Redundancy Department wording (and teeth-grinding sexism) of "little selfish little man," I would like to offer "real woman" a sex-change operation right here, right now: one men's size-seven boot to your self-righteous baby-chute coming right up, you sanctimonius twat.

"I had my first child at the age of thirty-three and it made a real woman out of me."

did this moo step out of a time machine?

That "man" comment is one of the most fucked up things I've ever heard a breeder say.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Irrelevant Cow
Am I already so uninteresting? So irrelevant?

YES.

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Pep Squad Cow, from the comments
You would not believe all the things I've done, jobs I've had, things I've written, places I lived … all sorts of "stuff" and I still pass for my late 30s

NO.

Dear Miguela Holt y Roybal Cunt,

The only reason some people manage to get through life without being stabbed directly in the eyes with a tetanus-infected rusty ice pick is because it's illegal.

Fuck off and die.

No love,
Law

The fact of the matter is her life is over, and her friends know it. This sounds more like a group of friends that get together now and again. They don't want to hear about your incessant gas, your morning sickness, what you want to name it or the colors you chose for the nursery. They don't care about Huggies vs. Pampers or titfeeding vs. bottlefeeding.

Your best friend without kids may let you bend her ear, but you better bring more to the table than this. Your casual friends probably have lost other friends once you got your key to the white picket fences of Breederville. They know what is coming: complaints about lack of sleep, complaints about how bored you are, and all things baby.

And it sounds like the OP is making assumptions based on her response, which makes her a shitty friend.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."