Have you had a personal situation that helped you decide to be child free?

Star87 Wrote:
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> My ex best friend also became pregnant very
> stupidly, she never used contraception and only
> wanted a baby so she could get free housing and
> benefits, this disgusted me even further and I
> have since tried to avoid speaking to her. I hope
> she realises what a bad decision she has made and
> that her so called "easy" option is in fact the
> worst decision she could have made.

A-effing-men to that!

It's amazing how many womben I know who set out to get pregnant with the intention of getting something, either the free housing & bennies, sympathy, status, excuse to sit home on their asses, even free schooling (& how stupid is that one?).

The only thing they're accomplishing is sucking society dry & making sure the jails stay full.

nowiggers Wrote:
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> My moo was a single moo back in the early 60s
> before abortion or even single moo-hood being
> acceptable. I remember her telling me stories
> about having to wear a wedding ring at work and
> lie. My mother TRULY had no business having kids
> WHATSOEVER. I should have been aborted, and in a
> better more compassionate world, she would have
> had the abortion option, legally, when she was
> preggo with me and later with my half sibling.

That is why I hate those bumper stickers that say, "Smile! Your mother is pro-life." Having a baby does not mean a woman is against abortion. Like your mom, nowiggers, my mother got pregnant with me in 1964. At first, my father wanted nothing to do with her or a baby. When my grandmother was ready to send my mother to Mexico for an abortion as the procedure was illegal in the States...and she was too far along had it been legal, my father decided he wanted a family. Three years later, my father decided marriage and fatherhood were "not for him" and left. No support was ever paid. My mom is another person who should have never had a child. Fortunately, she only had one and did not continue to have more. In a more compassionate world, my mom would have been able to abort rather than keep her pregnancy a secret so she could attend school as long as possible. Being a single parent was not good for her or me. I was shuttled around a lot because Mom wanted to party and be "young". Don't even ask about the men in her life until my dear stepfather came along. My mom is very pro-abortion!

Drove a school bus
that sealed it

No experience, but damn, this is very easy.

A woman goes through all the degrading stuff to make and raise a baby, like intimate gyn/ob trips, the pregnancy, the pain and labor, the actual childbirth, and breastfeeding. Also, the disgusting mess, the filthy diapers, the screaming, and everything.

Also, raising a kid through childhood AND teens is obviously NOT easy without the risk of spoiling it, doing something wrong somewhere, and end up being HATED by the kid anyway. And of course, the feud and rifts will continue between the kid and its parent through its adulthood and beyond.

So no, I don't buy into the fairy tale of having a baby; it's simply not pretty at all.=P

i know i'm way late to this discussion, but new to the board, so i'll post here as a way of introducing myself.

i'm 26/F and have been childfree since i was 11 - well before i ever heard the word childfree. i wrote in my diary at the time that i would never have kids. i re-read it through my teens and early twenties (yeah, still have the diary, i'm a pack-rat) and was continually amazed that i STILL felt, and feel, that way. it's quite a decision for an 11-year-old to make, and of course whenever i voiced my opinion, i got "wait til you're older - you'll change your mind" from mom/dad/grandma/whoever was in earshot.

by the time i was 11 i was announcing that i hated kids under the age of 7. they were so noisy and sticky and annoying, and above all, STUPID! later, as i got into my teens, i would start announcing that i hated anyone under the age of 12!

i have a sister who is three years younger than i, and that might have sealed it. i remember, as children, that i would never even touch her toys, and if she played with one of my toys, i just gave it to her to keep. it seemed that EVERYTHING she touched was sticky and gross and teethed-upon. through her life she's served as a reminder to me of what *might* happen if i reproduced - she's put my parents through endless grief! she's fought with our mother and called her horrible names, she's got tons of credit card/cell phone/medical debt, she has medical problems that are inheritable, she has totaled more cars than i've owned, she dropped out of two college programs before this current one, she's attempted suicide once. all while my parents (mostly my dad) have financed everything (school, cars, car insurance, medical bills, prescriptions, post-suicide-attempt rehab stay, etc.) she's 23 now, and somewhat more mature, but she still lives at home with my mom while she finishes school. (note: i hightailed it out of there as soon as i graduated and turned 18 - via college, three hours away.)

also, all that crap about people wanting more than one kid because "i was an only, and it was so looooonely and horrrrrrible for me!" is total bullshit. they should count their blessings that they didn't have to share everything, never had their property destroyed, didn't fight endlessly, and don't have a deadbeat sibling sucking off their parents' teats.

of course there are a million reasons why i'm cf, but as far as personal experience, that's a big one.

more recently, i've come to realize that i am NOT a people person. i was put in a training position at my previous job, and i was positively appalled at the stupidity of these people. people would forget their password EVERY DAY. people could not understand the concept of "case sensitive" no matter how many times i explained it. i mean, i'm the kind of person who will give you the You're An Idiot look for admitting that you are unaware that ctrl+c is copy, and ctrl+v is paste. i simply do not have the patience, or the ability to lower myself intellectually, to sit on the floor with a toddler and trace the alphabet 867 times. i have better things to do.

thanks for reading!

I also admit I read Ellen Pecks 'the baby trap' at an early age and that helped things along as well.
I found many of the scenarios she witnessed mirrored in much of what I also saw. It trained me to adopt the 'look at what they say' and compare it with 'what they do' pov.
I found most of the 'you sprogg too' advice in the area of 'crab in bucket' mentality.

I'd already decided, at a very young age, that I did NOT want children. I never liked children, even when I was one, and when I got to high school I saw a lot of the thick girls who wanted to be mothers and the equally thick boys they were fucking and there's no way I wanted to be even remotely like them. Most, if not all, of them got knocked up in the end.

Even when I was a kid myself, I knew that the planet was getting way to overcrowded and didn't want to add to it. Then, as now, I hated the fact that people were everywhere and shoving other species out.

Being a girl, I was given shitty stupid dolls to play with and I refused to have anything to do with them. I hate traditional women's roles and sexual stereotyping and want nothing to do with it. I have been called 'dyke', 'lezzo', 'weirdo' and 'selfish' but I'm none of those things and the fact people can't accept it speaks more about their narrow-mindedness than it does about me. Luckily as I've got older (I'm 38 and getting beyond brat-bearing years luckily) the crap has got less.

I just never wanted kids, capital. I didn't even think about it until my Gran started with the assumptions and the crappy dolls... Once she did, I was adamant that no way in hell am I breeding. Especially since every time any of my parent's/grandparent's friends visited, I got stuck babysitting. "Ooh, you have a girl, that's geat, girls love kids, there's a couple of our snotty bratlings for you to look after for a few hours, no need to thank us, we KNOW you LOVE kids, what girl doesn't?"
Then I got old enough (12) to finally have the guts to say I'm not babysitting anymore for anyone ever, because all I want to do with my spare time is read books and play with legos. They gave me grief for it at first, but then realised that I was not caving in.
Of course, my gran's constant needling about trying to make me look nice for the boys so I can get married some day REALLY sinched the deal.
I'm no-one's effin' playdoll.

TimsGirl, I'm childfree and VEGAN, too! I don't know many of us! Glad to know you're out there. Peace on earth, and good will to all beings!

What made be Childfree Personally.

I grew up in a house and I was a child of the five. I was the youngest brother of the five. There were 3 bedroom house. One for my parents, one for 2 brothers and the other one is for 3 of us. That's right 3 in one bedroom. When we was kids it was a bit fun and once we got older it gets abit odd because we was getting bigger and the room is not big enough. In my experience because I was the youngest and have to sleep in my oldest brother's room it was like fear or bedroom dictatorship in the room. My oldest brother makes a huge mess in the room and he makes this room as it was a garbage landfill (like you see on breeders flats) and what is worse about it is I have to sleep in it.

My mum was working hard to raise 5 of us and it bloody hard and my Dad was working 12 hour shift per day. My parent's life was miserable. My mum was so moral about all this so was anti-abortion just to stop at 2 kids instead of 5. She got sterilised at the end which is a good thing.

I as a kid was Hyper-active person which is some sort of mental illness and I was a 'pain in the butt' which I will admit it to you CF people.

I also was a failed specimen - which means that my mum wanted a girl. So she keep on trying until she got one but after she gave birth to me (I am the 5th and the last one) the doctors force her to get sterilised because my dad is working his butt-off. My dad is no wallet and my mum did work part-time.

I am blessed that I am not a girl (I hope I am not offending Childfree women when a saying this) because if I was a girl and I got pregnant by mistake even I was at my teens. My mum, my family, even my mum's friends which they are super-moral will stop at nothing. Even send me down like a ton-of-bricks, just to force me to have a kid. Which means no-abortion and go thorugh all the hell-of-burdens like any parent will go thorough. One more thing - where I am going to put the kid where there is no space in the house and my parents is working their ass-off and they are anti-abortion?

I did discuss my mum about thout this and I told her that I will not let her go through the burden again if I was a girl. I also said that you suffer the burden enough.

The good thing is now that my brothers moved out and my dad is retired. My mum is retiring soon. Also me and my brother still live with my parents while the other 3 moved out.
Even I still live with my parents, I am not a burden because I worked and I still have to pay my 'dues' to my parents e.g. help them with Bills, utilities. Not like other brats can live-off free.

Most "bingo people" like to have 3,5 or more kids in the house for moral reasons but be the child of the number and it is not good.

I look back and I don't like go thorugh what my parents go thorugh. I look at morals, religion and other faiths saying having kids is a good thing - well it wasn't all roses with my parents and now it is all gone, but I still think if I never exist or having 2 kids insead of 5, my dad would of works 10 hours instead of 12 hours.

During those times, Tax credits, Child Benefits and all those easy money kiddy benefits didn't exists at the time.

Being a nanny!!!!!!!!!

Knew I did not want kids from a young age. When most kids were playing house, I was playing corporate America. I was running my own business or using dolls as neighbors. I would pretend I lived alone in an apartment and my dolls were my neighbors.
I was never into the princess, baby, or house play and quickly realized I was different in the way I felt about that stuff.
As I got older, my mom continued to have more and more kids and her mental state continued to decline, she blamed it on kids. So I took that as kids are bad and will make you crazy.

Gigabyte, a lot of women here in the USA do not realise how hard it is for women to abort in other parts of the world and we are not talking about third world countries. I know Ireland is still very anti-abortion. It was only until recently where divorce was accepted. Many Irish girls were forced to give birth even though they really wanted to go to England for an abortion or go to to the abortion boat that made the news years ago. Irish officials used all sorts of tactics to keep the ship from docking by having a pro-life boat in opposition. It appears in Ireland that a girl/woman usually has no choice but to birth the baby unless she is fortunate to have the fund$ to get to England or can find someone who will do it for her and not botch the job.

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2007/apr/07042403.html
http://archives.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/europe/06/13/ireland.abortion/index.html

So true, Am. I grew up there. I was able to see through the religious bullshit, unpopular as it sometimes made me, and from the time I was 18, I had my own emergency abortion fund should I ever need it.

What chaps my ass to this day is how the same forced-birther fundies who scream about how "evil" abortion is are the same fundies who whine about the amount of single mothers. Can't have it both ways fuckers.

From what I hear attitudes have softened slightly but there's still a hell of a long way to go. In my experience, most Irish have a pathetic "stick your head in the sand" approach to abortion. In other words, they ignore the fact that thousands of Irish women do abort - so long as it's done abroad and they don't have to think about it. As long as that attitude prevails, I guarantee you no real change will ever be made.

I agree, many kids are mean. They can be just as mean, or meaner than adults. Which is why I don't understand people who indiscriminately just "looovveee" kids.

I didn't really realize that I didn't like kids until I was in my twenties. Like a fool I put myself through college to become a teacher. After teaching 4th grade for 10 years, I can't imagine having a kid of my own! They are soul draining and their parunts are even worse. I have enough stories of my teaching adventures to convince most people to rip out their reproductive organs. I no longer teach. I help my husband with his business, and am so much less stressed out and happier!