Who will care for you when you're old? Nobody.

We've often remarked on how breeders are the ones who end up alone and lonely in retirement communities or nursing homes because they expect their family members to fulfill all their social needs. Meanwhile, they bingo us by asking us who will take care of us when we're old - as if they had a trove of people just dying to provide them with stimulation. Here's a sad letter from a woman in such an unhealthy position: isolated and living only for the family visits, finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that her child is a bigger part of her life than she is of his. I'm glad the advice was more on doing things for herself than guilt-tripping relatives.

It says that she was living with her son and grandson. I wonder if it was just too difficult, or that she caused problems when living with them? I can't imagine having either of my inlaws or even my own parents live in my house permanently. I wonder if conflict during that time is the reason son and grandson don't see much of her now.

A lot of these geezers think they are very little problem when the fact remains they are as bad as any toadler.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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yurble
We've often remarked on how breeders are the ones who end up alone and lonely in retirement communities or nursing homes because they expect their family members to fulfill all their social needs. Meanwhile, they bingo us by asking us who will take care of us when we're old - as if they had a trove of people just dying to provide them with stimulation. Here's a sad letter from a woman in such an unhealthy position: isolated and living only for the family visits, finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that her child is a bigger part of her life than she is of his. I'm glad the advice was more on doing things for herself than guilt-tripping relatives.

The article is from the UK, but in the US Americans are working more hours now than ever before.

The elderly and retired folks in general are basically disconnected from the demands of the modern workforce. I'm not knocking these folks, but I think they need to understand that for many people, the days of working five days per week, 8 hours per day is a thing of the past. The proliferation of e-mail and working from home has not decreased employers' demands, but only raised the bar of expectation. People are expected to answer e-mails on Saturdays, Sundays, at night... ugh. It's not a good thing, but it is what it is.

For these folks, I don't think that they visit grandma for 20 minutes per week because they don't like her. I think they visit 20 minutes per week because that's literally all the time they have.

Dh will be 65 in November and eligible for Medicare. I guess approaching that magic number has created an alert; hardly a day goes by that he doesn't get an e-mail or paper mail solicitation for all sorts of "old people" (he's not OLD, not to me anyway) stuff. Invitations to senior centers, info packets from associations that put together social soirees for older folks, charter bus tours .. This past week, he got a thick envelope from the county, detailing the services provided for our area. One dollar will get him a ride to doctor appointments, Walmart and the mall (on certain days and hours) in a short bus. He has been invited to come talk to the local SHIIP consultant to discuss enrollment in Medicare. I am definitely going to set up an appointment with them. That Medicare shit is confusing.

If an old person is in the US and lives in a not-poor area (like those Hickabamassippi states) there is no need for them to feel isolated. There are services and social networks available. This woman seems to be whining because she's being ignored (maybe for good reason) by family.

I find it interesting (and sad) that the very folks who bingo us with "B-b-but who will take care of you when you are old?" are often the ones who end up in nursing homes being cared for by strangers rather than being hat home cared for either by family members or private attendants.

My answer to this is: "I have a much-younger spouse who has already said she REFUSES to put me into a nursing home and will care for me herself if necessary". I only hope that these people who think we will be all alone in our later years are not left alone themselves.

I think anyone who uses the "Who'll take care of you?" line should be forced to volunteer in a nursing home for a couple of weeks. What a wake up call that'd be.

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kittehpeoples
I think anyone who uses the "Who'll take care of you?" line should be forced to volunteer in a nursing home for a couple of weeks. What a wake up call that'd be.

THIS.

Although I'm not as nice as you-- I'd say six months to a year, minimum. That way, there's a greater chance for reality to penetrate even super-resistant Stupidity Shields.

Such morons would argue-- you know they would-- that hey, I was only there for two weeks, so what if nobody visited the old folks, people are busy... That spewage would lose a lot of its power once you got past the six-month mark, especially if that time period included birthdays, Xmas, etc.

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gnocchi

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kittehpeoples
I think anyone who uses the "Who'll take care of you?" line should be forced to volunteer in a nursing home for a couple of weeks. What a wake up call that'd be.

THIS.

Although I'm not as nice as you-- I'd say six months to a year, minimum. That way, there's a greater chance for reality to penetrate even super-resistant Stupidity Shields.

Such morons would argue-- you know they would-- that hey, I was only there for two weeks, so what if nobody visited the old folks, people are busy... That spewage would lose a lot of its power once you got past the six-month mark, especially if that time period included birthdays, Xmas, etc.

You're right. I was thinking a couple of weeks would be all it would take, but yeah, breeders would make excuses to keep themselves in the right.

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twocents
A lot of these geezers think they are very little problem when the fact remains they are as bad as any toadler.

There is nothing worse than a breeder who has gotten old. All they do is complain and they won't do anything on their own. I think that they secretly want to "make us pay" for them having to wipe our noses. They want a total role reversal--but they are not intelligent enough to realize that the roles cannot be reversed by their very nature.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

I think in general, CF people know that there will be no one
to take care of them when they are old. They are realistic, so
they are mentally prepared for the situation.
On the other hand, breeders live in delusion that they are
a part of family no one can do without and therefore they
believe it is "till death do us part" situation.
There are taken by suprise when it isn't so.
They are not used to be alone, they are not used to be self-sufficient
as they always rely on family. That's why they have such an hard time
as the woman in the article.

I imagine that all old people end up in a nursery home. The only difference
is that kidded people will get a visit once in a month and the CF won't.

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mrs. chinaski


I imagine that all old people end up in a nursery home.

Not all old people do, but the number is far too many. Those places are awful, even the "quality" ones.

If and when I feel myself starting to slip, I'm going to step in front of a bus. Seriously, that's a better way to go than in one of those hellholes.

Yeah, they don't look like the nursery home in Better Call Saul :-(

I know people who are 82 and 83 yo and they are completely self-sufficient
incl. driving. But they are the exception to the rule.

The grandma of my ex-bf ended up in a nursery home. She had dementia,
she didn't know where she was and who were we. So I guess, she didn't
suffer emotionally.

I am of the same opinion like you.
I would not want to be dependent on someone.
Being dependent feels like no quality in life to me.

I hope when we get old there will be more relaxed attitude in terms
of eutanasia.

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gnocchi
If and when I feel myself starting to slip, I'm going to step in front of a bus. Seriously, that's a better way to go than in one of those hellholes.

Same. And if I should develop something as horrible as Alzheimers, I'd hope someone would have the decency to take me out back and shoot me, Old Yeller style.

There's no way I'd suffer the indignity of having to rely on caregivers. It's actually one of the reasons I support assisted suicide.

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mypersonality.info

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."
George Bernard Shaw

"An oyster can play catch if u only give it the oprotunity"
Some random YouTube commenter

"hate comments will be deleted!! fuckers!"
Some random YouTube uploader

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strange aeons

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gnocchi
If and when I feel myself starting to slip, I'm going to step in front of a bus. Seriously, that's a better way to go than in one of those hellholes.

Same. And if I should develop something as horrible as Alzheimers, I'd hope someone would have the decency to take me out back and shoot me, Old Yeller style.

There's no way I'd suffer the indignity of having to rely on caregivers. It's actually one of the reasons I support assisted suicide.

Absolutely agree with you. My grandmother suffered from Alzheimers for five years and the pain of watching her suffer was indescribable. I do NOT want to put my loved ones through that. I plan to overdose on sleeping pills if I feel myself starting to slip mentally. There's no point in going slowly and losing my sense of self.

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boredofbreeders

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strange aeons

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gnocchi
If and when I feel myself starting to slip, I'm going to step in front of a bus. Seriously, that's a better way to go than in one of those hellholes.

Same. And if I should develop something as horrible as Alzheimers, I'd hope someone would have the decency to take me out back and shoot me, Old Yeller style.

There's no way I'd suffer the indignity of having to rely on caregivers. It's actually one of the reasons I support assisted suicide.

Absolutely agree with you. My grandmother suffered from Alzheimers for five years and the pain of watching her suffer was indescribable. I do NOT want to put my loved ones through that. I plan to overdose on sleeping pills if I feel myself starting to slip mentally. There's no point in going slowly and losing my sense of self.

There is now medication that will slow the progress of this disease.

There is now medication that will slow the progress of this disease.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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strange aeons
Same. And if I should develop something as horrible as Alzheimers, I'd hope someone would have the decency to take me out back and shoot me, Old Yeller style.

There's no way I'd suffer the indignity of having to rely on caregivers. It's actually one of the reasons I support assisted suicide.

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boredofbreeders
Absolutely agree with you. My grandmother suffered from Alzheimers for five years and the pain of watching her suffer was indescribable. I do NOT want to put my loved ones through that. I plan to overdose on sleeping pills if I feel myself starting to slip mentally. There's no point in going slowly and losing my sense of self.

I'm sorry for what you went through, boredofbreeders. I'd also say "I'm sorry for your loss", but the inevitable end was probably a relief for all involved...

I wonder if the CF are generally more inclined than breeders to support assisted suicide? It's not just about lacking in conscripted labor, aka children whose reason for being made is to "take care of me in my old age". (Which, as any visitor, resident, or employee of any rest home will tell you, doesn't end up happening with any quantifiable reliability.) I think it's that we're much more realistic about many things, including how life will likely draw to a close.

Death with Dignity and associated movements are finally gaining ground, and it's a cause I'm very much behind.

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gnocchi

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strange aeons
Same. And if I should develop something as horrible as Alzheimers, I'd hope someone would have the decency to take me out back and shoot me, Old Yeller style.

There's no way I'd suffer the indignity of having to rely on caregivers. It's actually one of the reasons I support assisted suicide.

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boredofbreeders
Absolutely agree with you. My grandmother suffered from Alzheimers for five years and the pain of watching her suffer was indescribable. I do NOT want to put my loved ones through that. I plan to overdose on sleeping pills if I feel myself starting to slip mentally. There's no point in going slowly and losing my sense of self.

I'm sorry for what you went through, boredofbreeders. I'd also say "I'm sorry for your loss", but the inevitable end was probably a relief for all involved...

I wonder if the CF are generally more inclined than breeders to support assisted suicide? It's not just about lacking in conscripted labor, aka children whose reason for being made is to "take care of me in my old age". (Which, as any visitor, resident, or employee of any rest home will tell you, doesn't end up happening with any quantifiable reliability.) I think it's that we're much more realistic about many things, including how life will likely draw to a close.

Death with Dignity and associated movements are finally gaining ground, and it's a cause I'm very much behind.

Birth control, abortion, and death with dignity are being opposed by the same shitheads.

I would rather be dead than in a state where I have to be "taken care of"; why breeders have so little pride and self respect as to plan on and apparently look forward to being dependent and helpless is beyond me.

I too have decided on suicide as the best and indeed the only alternative, the only question is when and how to minimize the pain. And this is NOT a theoretical exercise for me : On BOTH sides of my family tree, there are many cases of Alzheimer's and dementia, even a few cases of early onset Alzheimer's.


I turn 50 today, and there are cases in my recent family history of people who (in retrospect) showed their first symptoms when they were a half a decade or so younger than me,and who were hopelessly gone at only a half a decade or so older . (One of those victims - a paternal uncle-had been a mathematics professor :-( I barely eked out a B in Algebra; imagine having a mind like his and knowing it's slowly being lost-! )


How I hope at least part of the USA will be enlightened and advanced enough when (and it probably *is* a "when" not an "if" for me...) I get the diagnosis , I can be allowed to leave with professional help, minimizing my pain, fear, and risk of catastrophic failure, rather than being left to take matters into my own palsied hands!

We do it for animals-I had to euthanize my beloved 18 1/2 year old little girl dachshund last August-WHY are humans treated with less concern for their dignity than are domestic pets?!?!??!!

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ex lurker
I would rather be dead than in a state where I have to be "taken care of"; why breeders have so little pride and self respect as to plan on and apparently look forward to being dependent and helpless is beyond me.

I too have decided on suicide as the best and indeed the only alternative, the only question is when and how to minimize the pain. And this is NOT a theoretical exercise for me : On BOTH sides of my family tree, there are many cases of Alzheimer's and dementia, even a few cases of early onset Alzheimer's.

A a book called "The Peaceful Pill" has been published. I won't say anything more.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Here's an interesting fact, most common every day foods have a poison if you know the right ones, now let's just say I'm old, and feel like eating a nice sweet soft peach today, no special reason, just feel like it, (in this story I apparently have adult kids and am not cf) so my son or daughter brings me a peach, and I decided to swallow the core pit which was a little split open, no one notices and the cyinide or whatever kills me shortly after.

So long as I'd never told my kids the cores posion, and they never looked it up to learn it for themselves, can they still be charge with assisted suicide?

Most people would overlook a simple piece of common food, but I'd still get to go out of my own free will when I feel like it, even if I can't leave my bed.

An oven bag, helium, and a rubber cord can be used to turn out your lights. Take seditives, and alcohol and bye bye assholes! Google "exit bag + helium". Buying helium leaves a trail, but if you let them know your having a big party, that's what it will list. Be sure to buy some balloons and other party supplies while your at it to leave a misleading trail.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I want it to be known that my condition isn't such where suicide is my option. However, considering my health and possibility of becoming at the mercy of others, I keep 'keys' to all doors.

This disclaimer is meant to ease any minds.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

@ craftyzits: Thank you for the book recommendation! I'll definitely read the book.
I feel it's never too early start informing youself. Knowledge is power....

It is comforting to know that in a case of emergency, there is a way out.

Btw. Dignitas advertises that the process with them takes 3 months to complete.
They are willing to make an exception in a case of emergency.

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mrs. chinaski
@ craftyzits: Thank you for the book recommendation! I'll definitely read the book.
I feel it's never too early start informing youself. Knowledge is power....

It is comforting to know that in a case of emergency, there is a way out.

Btw. Dignitas advertises that the process with them takes 3 months to complete.
They are willing to make an exception in a case of emergency.

There is a film on the Internet called doing it with Betty: How to make an exit bag. She demonstrates the process.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!