I knew this already....

I am a registered massage therapist. People tell me their innermost secrets it seems. I guess something about being relaxed, naked and vulnerable opens people up to share who they really are.

Well, I have had many parents regret breeding on my table,,, Women and men. Men are more straight forward about it, but both sexes have expressed the "If i had to do it it again i wouldn't" story. The guy I massaged yesterday really made me feel so thankful I don't have lil hellions. ... He was so looking forward to an evening with his wife without the lil terrorists it almost made me cry......He felt like his life was sooo over when he bred, like he died on the inside...... i
think most men just like to have sex but have no craving for the dumplings at all..... geez thank god i never bred...

:bedmadelie

Quote
firedragon
I am a registered massage therapist. People tell me their innermost secrets it seems. I guess something about being relaxed, naked and vulnerable opens people up to share who they really are.

I used to practice Shiatsu and it is amazing what people will tell you that is none of your business and has nothing to do with what they're paying for.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Yes, people treat you like their shrink... and should be paying double.

Men have their own little fantasy vision of what they think parenthood will be like - they think it will all be fun and games, their kid will be their "little buddy" with whom they can play catch and go fishing. Meanwhile, the guy's wife will look and act exactly the same after giving birth and they will continue to have active social lives and sex lives. Once in a while, Duh can cart his kid around on his shoulders so everyone can see that his dick is nice and fertile, thankyouverymuch.

Then they realize none of this is meant to be. Wifey's cunt gets stretched out like an old sock, she turns into an ugly, frumpy, greasy, stretch-marked hog with saggy udders. She never wears makeup or does her hair or wears those sexy heels anymore - she'll wear flip-flops, pull the rats' nest back into a ponytail without brushing it, and probably won't even shower regularly anymore. Sex will no longer be exciting or fun - it'll feel like a chore, especially if Moo is jonesing for another loaf - there will be scheduled sex and you'd better fuckin' put out if you don't want her to get the sperm somewhere else.

These Duhs all just have that dead look in their eyes because they've watched their happy lives burn to the ground and, from the cinders, a fat-ass hog-wife and a screaming brat emerge. I don't feel sorry for them one bit because they chose it. They chose to stick their heads in the fucking sand and believe it would be all sunshine and unicorn taints to have the kid and complete the family without ever stopping to think that, just maybe, he and his wife were a complete family before the kid came along.

Fun fact: I have never gotten a professional massage and someday I kinda want to. I'm a little embarrassed to get naked in front of a stranger because I'm kinda self-conscious about my weight, though I'm sure every massage therapist has treated someone a lot bigger than me at least once or twice.

Wow, you put everything so eloquently and truthfully (and hilariously)... thank you.

As to receiving a massage... Positive, healing human touch is a wonderful thing. Don't worry about not having a perfect body... I sure don't. As long as you shower that day its all good lol. Massage therapists are like doctors and nurses... we see bodies as muscle tissue to be treated...

I am honestly starting to think human males are not at all intersted in raising loaves... just like their animal counterparts. Of course, I am not either thank gawd