April Smothering smorgasbord

Haven't had one of these in a while....it's about time for another, yeah? Gotta squeeze it in before next month.

Barren Wastelands

Husband can only spare a couple retarded swimmers, last loaf died at birth. Let's do it again!
They even stopped trying to get her knocked up because it was too "crushing" never getting in pig. No sex = no wonder the guy started smoking. Sorry the kid died, but why can't these people be happy with one another and stop fucking crying over what could be?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1350460/secondary-infertility-due-to-low-sperm-count-recommendations

Homebirth Bloopers

Dumb bitch and her pweshus home-birth fantasy
Moo had to have C-sections a decade ago and she considers them to be "birth rape." Since, you know, laying down, getting pregnant and carrying to term of your own free will is the exact same as being sexually assaulted.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1351628/it-never-goes-away-does-it

Not a good name
Moo births a dead loaf and names it "Mira" - as in "miracle." Not making fun of the child dying, but, uhhh....where's the miracle? It didn't live.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1252296/anyone-else-with-a-traumatic-or-negative-homebirth-experience/120

And a tard is born
Home-birfin' Moo goes to the hospital and blames her kid's alleged awwtizzum and dyslexia on the drug pitocin. So of course it's the hospital's fault and if they'd just let her shit the loaf in the bathtub, he'd be a genius.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1348018/over-16-yrs-later-upset-over-what-they-did-to-my-son-want-to-share

Teenage Mutant Shoulda-Been Abortions

The Adventures of Pee-Boy & The Misplaced Urine
Moo is asking what kind of diapers are best for a 15-year-old boy. I think the better question is why the fuck is your teenager pissing himself?! According to Moo, he needs to wear two Depends to hold his piss load.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1343430/what-are-the-best-diapers-for-bedwetting-teen-boy

Cock blocking teen
Moo gets her groove on when her teen son comes home early, hears Moo and her bed-buddy fucking and tells them to stop. Sonny Boy is now angry at Mommy and won't speak to her (why, because her fucking cut into boob-feeding mommy-son bonding time?) I've heard of teens feeling certain ways when they hear their parents banging, but anger is usually not one of them. My guess is Junior is molly-coddled (Moo even says they have a "very, very close relationship") and he sees this man as a threat to his mommy-son cuddly touchy feely incest-y time.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1348199/son-walked-in-on-me-having-sex

Solo Shitheads

Proud To Be Stupid
In a nutshell, single Moos who are proud of themselves for getting knocked up by flaky or crazy Duhs and keeping the mistakes when Duhddy ran off. I wonder how many of them could afford the kids before government bennies. Some even say they buy sperm. Sure, don't stay with a dick head, but WHY have six or seven kids that you will be raising alone with no stable father in their lives?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1335493/single-pregnant-again-and-shameless

I'd kill myself if I were her
Moo has three brats that she home-skools because one is a tard. She's knocked up with #4 and Duh is a shit head who probably isn't gonna come back once he "finds work." Moo is mad because no one else will help her and people don't give a crap when she bitches. Obviously we are missing out on so much.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1347375/cant-do-this-anymore

Neglect: Modern Parenting

Well get off your ass and be a PARENT
Dumb bitch is having a fit that gentle discipline isn't working. She refuses to yell, spank, or maintain some form of control over her kids, yet she expects them to be well-behaved little angels that never fight with her or each other? Sounds like quite the rose-colored blinders she's wearing.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1349902/lets-face-it-there-are-no-consequences-there-is-no-discipline-and-im-living-in-anarchy

"Why does everyone hate anti-vaxers?"
Moo asks the above question. Apparently no one on all 16 pages of responses realizes that not vaxing means they are promoting the re-introduction and spread of controlled diseases. I don't want to hear a fucking peep out of these negligent cunts when their little bastards die from polio.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1345394/why-so-much-mainstream-hatred-for-non-vaxers

I'm also wondering why a 15-year-old is still wetting the bed! :goggle That is NOT normal, and he should've been given medical help a long time ago, like during his potty-training days. :headbrick Most kyds outgrow the bedwetting thing by age 5 or 6! I feel sorry for him because moooooo isn't trying to help him, she's just trying to find a more absorbent brand of diapers.

This month's haul is a treasure-trove of stupidity! z

We're truly missing out on one of life's richest experiences.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Unless I overlooked it, there was nothing in the pissing topic about this teen being retarded. Then again, I have read more than one story about older children (like in the 10 - 16 range) who soil themselves because they don't feel like getting up and heading for the toilet when they need to go. Anyone recall the story from Smothering of the 11-year-old girl who would shit herself because she was too lazy to get up and take a crap in the toilet?

We have reached a new low as a species when an otherwise mentally and physically healthy child will be so lazy that they will piss/shit themselves rather than get up and relieve themselves in the bathroom. I have no idea WTF is wrong with Pissy Pants - maybe he's nuts, maybe he's got a urine fetish, maybe he thinks he's still an infant. I wonder if he ever got potty-trained and started pissing himself recently or if he's just been in shitrags his whole life because Mommy couldn't be bothered to potty-train him.

All I know is it's pretty bad when some of the Smothers think the topic is a joke.

Quote

Moo births a dead loaf and names it "Mira" - as in "miracle." Not making fun of the child dying, but, uhhh....where's the miracle? It didn't live.

I was thinking Mira as in "Miralax", but that's probably a result of me spending 40 hours a week in a pharmacy. It's also how people with strong New York or Jersey accents say "Mirror."

And holy hell, call me an evil bitch, but I'd probably publicly disown my kid if he was 15 and still wearing a fucking diaper. He'd be on a one way road to the Speshul People's Home.