I my non-childproof home...

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kidlesskim
The only thing I recall being "child proofed" in our home when I was growing up was my mother put those plastic plug in caps over electrical outlets and that was only after one of my sisters had stuck a knife into one and blew out a circuit breaker. We were taught to respect their things so we didn't plunder through their bedroom where medications, guns, and who knows what all else was stored. It never occurred to us to swill back Clorax, hang ourselves on curtain cords, play hide-n-seek inside of appliances, lock ourselves in trunks, go swimming in back yard pools without permission, take naps behind the wheels of parked cars, stick our hands and feet under lawn mowers at any time especially while they were running, make chew toys out of dryer sheets or other similar cleaning items, wrap ourselves in dry cleaning plastic, stick BB's up our noses or foreign objects up our asses, dine on tooth paste or mouthwash, or play darts using razor sharp steak knives.

We didn't even have caps on our outlets when I was a kid. We also had an inground pool and the door leading to it didn't have a special lock on it, there was no extra fence around other than the fence around the yard required by local regulations, no pool alarm, or any of the stuff they have for pool security today. We didn't have drownings or anything like that happen in our pool. I never lived in a child proof house, and never will.

Like you, we never had the desire to those things either. I guess we had some common sense, or our parents tried to teach us better.

JD

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mistress rotwang
@ zzelda, so fucking true. Are you like my twin or something because I do the same damn things when I clean. Wonder if it is a female engineer thing because I have never met a female engineer who is tidy/ can deal with cleaning.

Future one right here, and yes, I despise "tidying up". My home isn't a shithole, but it's a chore for me to even run the vacuum once a week. And let's not even talk about laundry or dishes.

As for my house, I don't keep very many dangerous things but I do keep very NICE things. Newest game consoles, lots of hard-to-find copies of games and game strategy guides, high-end booze and snacks, a sewing machine and serger, and a whole closet full of gorgeous, limited edition Gothic Lolita clothing (that I hardly wear any more because of my age...) and designer shoes and bags.

Yes, I am a materialistic fuck, but I can afford to be and not have to worry about some pantshitter derping it all up.

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"Yes, fellow readers, nothing says 'devoted father of a special needs kid' quite like drinking, snorting cocaine, and then taking the boat out for a spin."
- Tiquer

I just keep noticing more and more things in my kiddie death-trap of a home! smile

Two fully-clawed cats that aren't socialized to children.

In the living room: Two bikes stored on a gravity bike stand, all set to fall onto idiot children (looks like this if you haven't seen a gravity stand: http://coolmaterial.com/rides/michelangelo-two-bike-gravity-stand/ ). My spouse's bike is the topmost one, and is the heavier of the two...I'm pretty sure it could take out two toddlers in one spectacular crash.

Cords on the blinds are just danglin'.

Back balcony probably isn't high enough to Darwinize anyone...we're a first-floor condo, but the abruptly sloping ground behind the building gives us a balcony that's only about six feet up. The rail slats, however, are widely-spaced enough that some kid would probably get their fool head stuck in 'em.

Bottles of booze sitting on an open shelf.

More chemicals/cleaners in the hall closet, too (car wax, Rainex, other car-cleaning stuff).

Front-loading washer with NO kid-latch.

Same lack of latch on the toilet. Step right up, toddlers! This way to drown yourselves!

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mumofsixbirds
I have a can of peanuts on the bottom shelf of the cupboard. And a jar of Peanut butter too!

You, madam, are a public health threat. Next, you'll be telling us that you eat peanut butter sandwiches, and have the nerve to exhale in public, afterward.

(The ones mongling about, wearing crash helmets, with nary a skateboard, rollerskate, or bicycle are the ones to target - I've gotten three this week).

Thanks to whomever coined the verb "mongling." It and "pregnoid" are my two newest favorite words.

Bwahahahaha!

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mumofsixbirds
I have a can of peanuts on the bottom shelf of the cupboard. And a jar of Peanut butter too!

You, madam, are a public health threat. Next, you'll be telling us that you eat peanut butter sandwiches, and have the nerve to exhale in public, afterward.

(The ones mongling about, wearing crash helmets, with nary a skateboard, rollerskate, or bicycle are the ones to target - I've gotten three this week).

Thanks to whomever coined the verb "mongling." It and "pregnoid" are my two newest favorite words.

"Mongling" Hee!

And if memory serves, you read "pregnoid" on one of my posts, though, sadly, I can't take credit for it either. Brilliant word. smile

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mypersonality.info

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."
George Bernard Shaw

"An oyster can play catch if u only give it the oprotunity"
Some random YouTube commenter

"hate comments will be deleted!! fuckers!"
Some random YouTube uploader

I live by myself in a third floor apartment, so it'd be difficult for children to find their way up here, and I'm poor so I don't have many fancy things. I do however have two fully-armed cats, and while one of them is easily terrified (I'm that poor beastie's fourth home, and around me he's cheeking everything and being cute, but he's scared of strangers), the other one is right up in your face.
I also have two snakes. While one is a runty man, the other is an adult ball python which isn't very long but very bulky, and I'm sure any moo would not appreciate the snakes
Also tons of medication because I'm bipolar. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about kids getting into my crazy meds! And just glad that all my shit will be right where I leave it when I get home.

My house isn't too dangerous, besides the fact that there's a lot of things to trip over and step on, like my rabbit's playpen I never end up putting away. (I almost killed myself on it a few days ago.) And if a kid comes over it might 'find' the steak knives if tall enough. Not to mention the dog, who thinks "foot" equals "chew toy" and "quickly moving creature" means "prey."

The best thing about my kiddie-deathtrap home is that it helps me to enforce my "no kids allowed" policy- I tell my sister in law that the niece/nephew can't come over EVER because my Ikea shit is not nailed into the wall and they might pull it down onto themselves (this once happened at her place although there were no Darwin outcomes that day).

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sky valley
The best thing about my kiddie-deathtrap home is that it helps me to enforce my "no kids allowed" policy- I tell my sister in law that the niece/nephew can't come over EVER because my Ikea shit is not nailed into the wall and they might pull it down onto themselves (this once happened at her place although there were no Darwin outcomes that day).

I lol'd so hard!

Today one of my coworkers was asking around about steam cleaners for carpeting. Apparently he had his kid and another kid over this weekend and they trashed his living room. Some of it was done with markers, also from kids getting sick. I was in my office and just heard him talking about it, so I didn't say anything but in my head, I was thinking about how relieved I was to not have to deal with that in my house.

JD

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JohnDrake
Today one of my coworkers was asking around about steam cleaners for carpeting. Apparently he had his kid and another kid over this weekend and they trashed his living room. Some of it was done with markers, also from kids getting sick. I was in my office and just heard him talking about it, so I didn't say anything but in my head, I was thinking about how relieved I was to not have to deal with that in my house.

JD

One of the things I've always wondered about - just *how clean* are those 'rental' carpet cleaners at stores? I'm sure most people don't really clean them out after using them. Imagine the residual puke and piss and shit and ~

Ewwwwww!

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Zzelda

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JohnDrake
Today one of my coworkers was asking around about steam cleaners for carpeting. Apparently he had his kid and another kid over this weekend and they trashed his living room. Some of it was done with markers, also from kids getting sick. I was in my office and just heard him talking about it, so I didn't say anything but in my head, I was thinking about how relieved I was to not have to deal with that in my house.

JD

One of the things I've always wondered about - just *how clean* are those 'rental' carpet cleaners at stores? I'm sure most people don't really clean them out after using them. Imagine the residual puke and piss and shit and ~

Ewwwwww!

Good question. I just heard coworker on the phone with a furniture store trying to claim on a warranty for his couch. Apparently, the kids were pulling threads out of it, poking things into it, etc. His 5 year old son and 5 year old neice made a complete mess of his living room and now he's trying to get it all cleaned up. Better him than me.

JD

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Zzelda
One of the things I've always wondered about - just *how clean* are those 'rental' carpet cleaners at stores? I'm sure most people don't really clean them out after using them. Imagine the residual puke and piss and shit and ~

Ewwwwww!

This is why we bought our very own Rug Doctor at Costco a couple years ago. We can clean our carpets whenever we want, and of course because we don't have brats, they don't get as dirty as quickly. I'm so cheap that I hate hiring carpet cleaning services, and we are both completely grossed out by those store rental units. When we bought ours, we vowed that we wouldn't let anyone borrow it for the same reasons. When my brother asked if he could borrow it to clean the carpet in his rental house, we said NO. Why would we want strangers' filth in our machine? That's exactly the reason we bought one in the first place.

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Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan

All that I know is that any house of mine will have only hardwood floors because I fucking hate rugs! Rugs have to be the most disgusting invention ever.

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mistress rotwang
All that I know is that any house of mine will have only hardwood floors because I fucking hate rugs! Rugs have to be the most disgusting invention ever.

I have wood and tile floors, I hear ya.

I do have some area rugs. These can be machine washed at home or taken to a commercial cleaner. I'm the only one in here and I am clean, so they don't get dirty. The big ones - vacuuming works fine.

I even try to 'walk around' them LOL. Like the big Oriental rug in the LR. I don't want to get it dirty. I hardly go in there, anyway. That's like 'for show' or for visitors. I'm either in my office, bedroom, kitchen, or out on the back porch here.

I do like wood floors (already here when I moved in - and are the original ones, so they're like 80 years old.) But I'm also thinking tile for a LR, if I move. Might be something different, like a clay tile (not 'bathroom tile', not like that.) or, who knows? I have lots of ideas!

I also like this thing where you repurpose old wood - like barn siding. You can even dye wood. Yes, I read alot about these things! I would like to be an Interior Designer but there is no way in hell I'm going back for more school. The good design schools here are ridiculously expensive also. I figure that I can learn on my own. I can *read*, eh?

And then - if I own the property - I can make it like I want. I can be the Designer! This is one of the reasons I'm trying to get into the RE biz also. Buy, fix up, and sell. And I am *most interested in* the 'fixing up' part! I love to look at houses for sale, especially the junk ones, and then imagine everything I would do. Thinking and planning those things out is most interesting to me.

I hope to make the CF Colony! Houses for everybody! I will make things affordable, too.

Does anyone have a big bag full of money they could give me?

I should put these ideas on that Kickstarter thing! Maybe I will! I got a few people willing to throw in with me as is. They like my ideas.
Hmmmm ~

One step at a time! I should finish the other junk thing I have - that sits empty. Part of the roof fell in. Erg. I have to get back to work on that.
That can be my 'advertisement' for future plans.

LOL, I have a scale model of an overcrowded rural auto-wrecking yard, that has sharp corners, many sharp things in it, some old toy cars that may have lead-based paint and a few with detachable tires, hoods or trunks, and is not secured, if a sprog was in the house, they'd try playing with it (aka destroying it, cutting themselves in several places, getting lead poisoning and maybe choking on tiny tires and hoods) and I'd never see the end of it.

My non-childproofed bedroom corner... nothing safe for kyds. Hell I even drink alcohol in bed at times, and read atheist books there too.

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kidlesskim
The only thing I recall being "child proofed" in our home when I was growing up was my mother put those plastic plug in caps over electrical outlets and that was only after one of my sisters had stuck a knife into one and blew out a circuit breaker. We were taught to respect their things so we didn't plunder through their bedroom where medications, guns, and who knows what all else was stored. It never occurred to us to swill back Clorax, hang ourselves on curtain cords, play hide-n-seek inside of appliances, lock ourselves in trunks, go swimming in back yard pools without permission, take naps behind the wheels of parked cars, stick our hands and feet under lawn mowers at any time especially while they were running, make chew toys out of dryer sheets or other similar cleaning items, wrap ourselves in dry cleaning plastic, stick BB's up our noses or foreign objects up our asses, dine on tooth paste or mouthwash, or play darts using razor sharp steak knives.

My parents didn't "childproof" our home either, aside from kitchen knives being kept in a drawer (which if we'd wanted to, we could technically get to them, just didn't have the desire to because we weren't violent or stupid), the caps in the outlets, and putting medication on top of the fridge where it would be too hard for us to reach it. My mom could still keep her nice knick knacks on display and we knew if we broke anything, we'd be in trouble. If I remember correctly, all the cleaning products were left under the kitchen and bathroom sinks, but we never poisoned ourselves. I guess we were smart enough not to drink chemicals, suffocate ourselves with plastic bags, or impale ourselves with sharp objects. We would have been considered little geniuses by today's standards, I suppose.

That being said, the "my home isn't childproof" is my ready and handy excuse not to have any kyds at my house. I currently don't have any close friend with kyds or any relatives with kyds who'd want to hang out with me anyway, so it's a non-issue at the moment. Yay!

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cosmictraveler
My parents didn't "childproof" our home either, aside from kitchen knives being kept in a drawer (which if we'd wanted to, we could technically get to them, just didn't have the desire to because we weren't violent or stupid), the caps in the outlets, and putting medication on top of the fridge where it would be too hard for us to reach it. My mom could still keep her nice knick knacks on display and we knew if we broke anything, we'd be in trouble. If I remember correctly, all the cleaning products were left under the kitchen and bathroom sinks, but we never poisoned ourselves. I guess we were smart enough not to drink chemicals, suffocate ourselves with plastic bags, or impale ourselves with sharp objects. We would have been considered little geniuses by today's standards, I suppose.

That being said, the "my home isn't childproof" is my ready and handy excuse not to have any kyds at my house. I currently don't have any close friend with kyds or any relatives with kyds who'd want to hang out with me anyway, so it's a non-issue at the moment. Yay!

Our kitchen knives were in a knife block on the counter right out in the open. Today my kitchen knives are actually in a drawer, mainly because our kitchen is small and we don't have much counter space. Like you, we never cut, poisoned, or electrocuted ourselves. I just don't understand it.

JD

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mistress rotwang
All that I know is that any house of mine will have only hardwood floors because I fucking hate rugs! Rugs have to be the most disgusting invention ever.

I also dislike rugs; they're horrible for allergies because the dust just gets trapped in them. Fortunately the place I'm renting now does not have carpets.

I also plan in having kinky sex toys in all of the rooms. Someone has to be tied up when I watch TV or else life is boring.

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JohnDrake
Our kitchen knives were in a knife block on the counter right out in the open. Today my kitchen knives are actually in a drawer, mainly because our kitchen is small and we don't have much counter space. Like you, we never cut, poisoned, or electrocuted ourselves. I just don't understand it.

JD

I don't understand why kids today seem to be so stupid, either. Some of them, even after hurting themselves, will go back and do the same thing that hurt them again and again. Tards.

Yep. Looking into getting an apartment next year [finally @o@] and I can already tell you that there will be a strict no childruns allowed rule. Not even when my younger siblings sprog -- yes, that includes the single solitary non-insane member of my family, my sister [hopefully she will remain sane and NOT sprog at all!]. They need to find a sitter if they want to visit me.

There will be animals, first and foremost. You just DO NOT allow children near parrots, for everyone's sake. And my cat will have his claws clipped because the little stinker likes to try to be a doorjamb-scratcher, but he most certainly will not be declawed, and cats like to grab and kick as well as bite.
And at some point I would love to be the proud owner of a wonderful pit bull, my personal favorite dog breed, and I'm sure as HELL not gonna be endangering my darling's safety by letting her near some brat whose moomy might call the SPCA to have her put to sleep for just having the wrong kind of face. It happens. Fucking discrimination if you ask me. Luckily one good thing about living in the south is that people are more friendly/open to the breed here and they're all over the place.

There will also be pointy things! And fire, and poisonous things [we're going to totally be making our own pokeberry ink for religious rituals, and suffice it to say that you should probably not drink pokeberry juice], and some NSFW art prints, probably. Whatever the hell we want, basically. That's the point of being an adult. And childed people like to say that CF people 'never grew up'... where they run around babbling in babytalk gibberish and watching only Dora the Explorer all day... because they have 'no choice'! hahaha

I forgot to mention, the best part of our future house plans... the partner and I are both really into various things aimed at 'children', toys, games etc. as well as both being rather nostalgic creatures and retaining a lot of things from our own childhood. We decided it would be fun if we had an extra bedroom to make a 'playroom' such as would be set up for a kyd, but ONLY for us two! No kyds allowed! Chalkboard, art supplies, awesome 90s toys as well as newer stuff, collectable books, etc etc... but no brats allowed to wreck them >D There will even be a full size bed in there with cute-ass kids' sheets on it, it will be the guest bed for any cool grown ups who come over and want to sleep there Gonna be so great~

The house of my dreams is a large, creaky old Victorian manor, which makes kyds piss themselves when they walk by because it's so creepy.

The interior will be decorated with antiques, mainly from the Victorian and Art Deco periods. No kyd will ever want to set foot in there!