"I am Diabetic/Cardiopathic/a Cancer Patient and I want a BABBY If it kills me!" is apparently a thing...

Thank you guys again. My father passed away yesterday, and fortunately he did so before he reached the stage of seizing (he was in liver failure). He at least got to go asleep.

Considering the cancers he had, it was relatively quick, and I'm trying to be thankful for that too. It was a double whammy of esophageal and liver cancer, each of which have abysmal survival rates even independently and if you catch them early, which he didn't. He was already terminal at the time of his first symptoms.

I try to look at it in the sense that he felt good, and believed he was healthy, for as long as humanly possible, given how grim these cancers are.

I got to see him every day he was in the hospital, we were on really good terms, and I tried my best to hold my shit together to give him more dignity than cancer ever gives anyone. So I can be happy with that.

He wasn't old, and was never sick a day in his life before that. I guess it's just a reminder we never really know when our time's up, so don't assume you've got all the time in the world.

Lillin, I am sorry to hear of your loss. I'm glad you were on good terms and able to be there for him though and that he did pass away peacefully. Thoughts with you and yours.

Lilin, I am sorry for your loss.

I am glad you had such a good relationship with your father. I remember you talked about him in this board sometimes. He seemed to have been a great person, and it is a great loss. My thoughts to you.

_______________________

“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

I'm sorry as well. I know this isn't an easy thing to go through. If there is anything I can do drop me a line.

Lilin I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that he went peacefully and while asleep, and that you were able to spend time with him before he went. My thoughts are with you.

You have my symapthies Lilin. I'm glad that your Dad died peacefully and he's no longer in pain. .

Quote
Zzelda
I used to work with a girl who had a 'reconstructed' / 'fixed' cleft palate. She looked OK, Docs fixed that. But both the kids she shat had it too -

The daughter had it worse. I can't quite remember but *I think* the first kid she had (boy) - didn't have it. The next one (the girl) - DID, and she was warned about it, I do remember her talking about this while pigged up with that one.

That's 'fixable' - in many cases, but from what I have seen here and there - it isn't always fixable and can include *serious issues* - not just cosmetic.

And this Cow *knew this* -
....
The nicest person you'd ever care to meet. Beautiful person. Wonderful, very caring person. But still - I wondered - why would you put a child through what you went through? All that surgery. And you *know this* - that it is a possibility. And sure enough the girl - had the same issues / was born the same way.

Anyone remember Bre.e Walker? She has been a poster child on some CF forums for her utter selfishness.

Born with a genetic defect that caused her hands and feet to resemble lobster claws, she was interviewed back in the 80s and described how she overcame her appearance to become a tv news anchor.

Mind that, despite the fact that her mother and brother were born with the condition, that the chances of having kids with the condition was 50/50, and that Bre.e described an early life of anger and pain

Quote

I spent a lot of my growing-up years denying there was anything different about me. There were times when I would come home crying because some kids in school were saying things behind my back.
...
Becoming a teenager was a new crisis for me. It really hurt to have to wear special lace-up oxford shoes when all my friends were wearing high heels. Then they started wearing fingernail polish and rings, things I would never be able to wear. Teenagers can be extremely cruel. When I found out that my first boyfriend was calling me "lobster claws" behind my back I was shattered. I was 15, and I totally withdrew from boys for a while.

... she went on to have two children, both of whom were born with the disability.

These days, she is an advocate for the disabled. And, sorry to be snarky, but Walker seems to be more worried about aging being a handicap than her mishapen hands. You'd think that being able to accept the appearance of her hands would lead to acceptance of wrinkles. Not so. The woman has had some bad-bad plastic surgery

I'm so sorry for your lost, Lilin. Sadly, I know how it feels to loose a father in your early twenties. Hang in there. It gets better with time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Don't you know how to deal with children?!"
"I don't like animals who act on instinct."
I think you're on to something Akihiko.

Lilin, you have my sympathies, as well. I wasn't close to my father and it still was hard watching him die (four cancer sites-- pancreas, stomach, colon, liver). Unlike your situation, my father lived for years after being diagnosed as terminal, and I'm not sure that was a kindness. After the first surgery, he was never the same, not mentally and certainly not physically.

I'm glad you had a good relationship with your father. It will hurt more now, but as milenascarlet says, it will get better. Then you'll have some wonderful memories to look back on and enjoy.

Quote
lilin_unite
Thank you guys again. My father passed away yesterday, and fortunately he did so before he reached the stage of seizing (he was in liver failure). He at least got to go asleep.

I'm *so* sorry, lilin_unite. It's never easy to lose a parent, not at any age. I'm glad his suffering is over, but I feel for your loss.