I need some good ideas! Baby crap in common areas

Peeps, I need your help! :1wv

Basically, there is this famblee who live in the apartment right opposite ours. They have a toadler and up until a month ago said toadler would scream at the top of its lungs every single day, preferably in the morning while boyfriend and I were still asleep. I'd retaliate by blasting some Pantera at extremely high volume for a bit, screaming at them from behind the door etc. For some reason Toadley has stopped screaming which is awesome but his stupid breeder parents still feel the need to store Toadlerino's stroller right in the hallway.
Now, the hallway is pretty narrow and the apartments are really really large, each one of them has a huge balcony and comes with a large storage space in the basement, so it's not like there is no fucking space to store their shit within the confines of their own four walls. Imagine if everyone started storing their crap in the hallway? Yes, why don't I leave our bed in the hallway, imagine how much more space we'd have in our apartment!
The other thing is that once I get out the elevator I need to pass the SUV stroller to get to my door, and because the lights in the hallway are these super-eco lights the hallway is pretty much pitch dark and the lights take forever to come on, so I need to be careful not to collide with the stroller, especially when I'm carrying my grocery shopping. It really annoys me because I find it so rude to leave your crap in a communal space unless said space has been clearly allocated for that purpose.
So, I was thinking of terrorizing breeder neighbors a bit but I need some good, fresh and creative ideas! :biggrin2

OOPS! You ran into it and it crashed down the stairs!

OOPS! You ran into it and broke something on it!

OOPS! Somebody must have broken in and stolen the fucking thing!

OOPS! Don't know how that bottle of Karo/motor oil/chocolate sauce/sour milk/rotten eggs etc got spilled all over it!

Go find your own used, cheap stroller and keep it in the hallway, blocking their shit. They can't complain if you're doing the exact same thing they are. Or, buy several cheap strollers and keep them all in the hallway. Padlocked so they can't move them.

Call in an anonymous tip to the fire station and report an emergency exit hazard.

Leave a Hustler and some anonymous goo all over the seat.

Claim you ran into it and got injured and that you'll be calling your lawyer. Bonus points if you actually get a lawyer to contact them.

Invite some kids in for free stroller races down the hallway!!!!

Buy some cheap, creepy-looking dolls from Goodwill or wherever. Leave one in the seat every night.

Plant one of these on it: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/c427/

Superglue dildos all over it

OMG.. with all those suggestions I'd have a blast with that thing. Why do these idiots buy strollers that are so freekin big they won't even fit in the house?

I like the fire hazard and Hustler magazine ideas. White hair conditioner would probably work great as the mystery goo, and Suave is like 96 cents a bottle. Maybe mix in a little corn syrup to make it sticky.

Leave them a nice stinky dog turd in the stroller - I have a large Rottweiler who would be happy to oblige!

Glad I'm not the only disgusting one in this place, because I was going to suggest leaving a used tampon in it.

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rudeawakening
Glad I'm not the only disgusting one in this place, because I was going to suggest leaving a used tampon in it.

Better still, a strong hint in the form of a used condom!

Parts: printed copy of the fire code, board matching the width of the stroller arms.
Supplies: Clear lacquer, Elmer's glue, and Gorilla Glue. http://www.gorillatough.com/

Step one, print copy of fire code relating to blocking hall ways and exits. Suggest using boldfont for people with vision problems.

Step two, glue the fire code to the board with elmer's.

Step three, use the clear lacquer to seal the fire code into the board. You could substitute polyurethane if you wish to water seal it.

step four, using the gorilla glue, affix the board with the fire code out out easy reading
to the arms of the stroller.

Step five, listen for the bitching when the board can not be removed without the use of power tools and the loss of the stroller arms.

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Stillwaters

Remind me never to piss you off...

Take all but one set of wheels off it. It'll be no good so they'll have to buy a new one.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I would put Itching Powder on the stroller everyday.

You can order it from dozens of places on the net.

I would also spray Mace all over it.

Watching Toadler scratch itself like a meth addict would be priceless.

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I miss my little feather baby.

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drake
I would put Itching Powder on the stroller everyday.

You can order it from dozens of places on the net.

I would also spray Mace all over it.

Watching Toadler scratch itself like a meth addict would be priceless.

I fully endorse this idea.

:jump

Throw it into the Dumpster. Keep doing that with every replacement.

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Before you attempt any of these superb ideas, make sure there's no camera in the hallway!

66HEL was my spam prevention LOL!

The cops may note your fingerprints, and there may be a security camera/witness. I would call the fire department. Then call the fire department every time they leave that stroller out in that hall, and they will get cited. That will be some serious bad news for them as the fire department does not fuck around.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Thanks eveyone, you're awesome! :partay

I love the idea with the itching powder and the mace because it's virtually invisible yet soooo effective!

Of course I would gladly let my cat use the stroller as her litter box but I think kitty would be furious with me for even suggesting such a thing!

I'll have to familiarize myself with the fire regulations and see what I can do....:biggrin2

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craftyzits
66HEL was my spam prevention LOL!

The cops may note your fingerprints, and there may be a security camera/witness. I would call the fire department. Then call the fire department every time they leave that stroller out in that hall, and they will get cited. That will be some serious bad news for them as the fire department does not fuck around.

This. Serves the double purpose of getting the Moo/Duhd in trouble with The Authorities, while at the same time keeping you clean as a whistle. You are *absolutely* within your rights to report things blocking the exit hallways of your building.

My idea: Get a few Pampers/Huggies/Luvs, use them to pick up the dog doo, wrap them up and place the "present" in the stroller. Same thing they do to us. Oh, and call the fire department too!

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mr. neptune
My idea: Get a few Pampers/Huggies/Luvs, use them to pick up the dog doo, wrap them up and place the "present" in the stroller. Same thing they do to us. Oh, and call the fire department too!

The problem with ^ is the possibility of fingerprints and excrament bla bla bla... but the fire department idea can fuck 'em up. And keep an eye open on just how they raise the loaf. There is any number of ways you can cause grief in this paranoid society with the For The Protection Of Brats... ok, it was a bad take on the For The Protection Of Animals

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I too think the fire code violations is the best way to go, but make sure you report it anonymously and directly to the local fire marshal. Breeders can be extremely retaliatory and vindictive when they feel you have wronged their loaf and the last thing you want is to wake up to flat tires or a broken window, so keep that in mind. When I lived among breeders for ten years it was the WORST time of my life and basically led me to the verge of a nervous breakdown. Although I had thoroughly checked out the neighborhood before I bought my house and determined it to be kid free and mostly older retired couples, it was only a matter of time before a Brady Bunch Famblee moved in next door after the prior owner, an elderly woman, died. Like flies to shit breeders moved in on all sides, including behind me and across the street. Among them they had over a dozen kids and even more incessantly barking dogs at all hours of the day and night, 24-7.:headbrick

At the point where I was on the verge of a breakdown due to sleep deprivation, and after having tried and pleaded with them to STFU for YEARS to no avail, getting no help from the police, and being willing to endure the makeshift skate ramps, basket ball hoops, and unsightly bright blue above ground pools, along with near constant remote cars and airplanes whizzing in and out of my home and driveway, dog shit by the mailbox, etc.... if ONLY they'd shut those dogs and kids up, I began doing some crazy shit. At my worst I dressed up in black like a Ninja and beginning at about 1AM I'd lie in the grass covered by leaves and RIGHT under their bedroom window I'd take a stick and stir up the leaves and bushes and draw their dogs over for a barkfest. They'd wake up, come outside, hush their dogs, and go back inside as I lay there silent in the grass right under their noses. "Honey, what do you think is wrong with Fido? Should we bring him inside?"

Then, I'd bide my time until I figured they were back asleep and I'd start ALL over, usually I'd lather-rinse-repeat until about 6AM. As I lay there one night rolling in the leaves under the moonlight and giggling my ass off I decided it was time to move before I got caught and wound up in a nuthouse.. :litebulb

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
. At my worst I dressed up in black like a Ninja and beginning at about 1AM I'd lie in the grass covered by leaves and RIGHT under their bedroom window I'd take a stick and stir up the leaves and bushes and draw their dogs over for a barkfest. They'd wake up, come outside, hush their dogs, and go back inside as I lay there silent in the grass right under their noses. "Honey, what do you think is wrong with Fido? Should we bring him inside?"

Then, I'd bide my time until I figured they were back asleep and I'd start ALL over, usually I'd lather-rinse-repeat until about 6AM. As I lay there one night rolling in the leaves under the moonlight and giggling my ass off I decided it was time to move before I got caught and wound up in a nuthouse.. :litebulb

This is too cool for words! larious

I agree about the vindictive nature of breeders, that's why I'm so cautious about it too. This whole 'keeping the stroller in the hallway' business has just one goal anyway and that is to tell anyone that look, we have a loaf, we've had the ebil sexe at least once, aren't we just a-effing-mazing?

So, I am resurrecting this thread in order to update since the outcome of 'moi vs breeders' generated some interest.
Not long after I posted this, breeder neighbors went away for a while, taken their kindercrap with them so there was no point in doing anything. When they returned they started keeping two strollers in the hallway as well as other kindercrap. I called the building manager's office and complained. I was told a notice would be put up asking not to keep crap in the hallways but I was also told to go talk to the breeders because 'they are your neighbors'. So a few days after that, just when I was about to enter my apartment, breeder moo opens the door to hers. I seized the opportunity and turned around. I got a bit of a scare beause I'd thought they only had one toadler but there was moo with a loaf and shrieky toadler. The chyldrun were both so ugly I winced.
So I asked moo if she could please stop leaving her stuff in the hallways because it violated fire regulations and also looked quite unesthetic. She pretended not to understand and asked me whether I was talking about the strollers. Yes, I said, I am talking about the strollers, they are things after all.
She said they had no space in the apartment (who cares) but that she'd see what she could do. Nothing changed in the following days and my best friend who is also CF suggested I start using Liquid Ass in the hallway. I was about to order some when I realized the breeders had moved their crap into a side nook of the hallway leading to the communal balcony. Well, at least it's out of my sight and I no longer need to maneuver around it. If they decided to move the crap back there will be a big ole stink! :biggrin2

I own some Liquid Ass, and let me tell ya, it will only take ONE use and those selfish breeder twats WILL move their kindershit ASAP.

I recommend drizzling it directly onto the stroller fabric

~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my little feather baby.

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drake
I own some Liquid Ass, and let me tell ya, it will only take ONE use and those selfish breeder twats WILL move their kindershit ASAP.

I recommend drizzling it directly onto the stroller fabric

Thanks for confirming Liquid Ass's magic properties! I will have to order some now because although a notice was put up yesterday afternoon (and it's tacked on right by the elevator doors, therefore unmissable) they moved their stupid crap back to the old place next to their door. Until I get the Liquid Ass I'll just keep stashing my trash in the hallway, it doesn't smell too good either.
I just don't get it how these people don't understand the concept of keeping your own crap in your apartment. Ok so there is no special place for strollers or bikes but then why did they move here, I'm sure they could've found a more breeder-friendly apartment complex. :drool

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rockchick
I just don't get it how these people don't understand the concept of keeping your own crap in your apartment. Ok so there is no special place for strollers or bikes but then why did they move here, I'm sure they could've found a more breeder-friendly apartment complex. :drool

Same reason breeders take loaves into cinemas and restaurants - because they're breeders, meaning they're basically obligated to fuck things up for other people, that's why.

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drake
I own some Liquid Ass, and let me tell ya, it will only take ONE use and those selfish breeder twats WILL move their kindershit ASAP.

I recommend drizzling it directly onto the stroller fabric

OMFG, this is exactly what I was going to say and you said it already! Hahahahahaha!!!!

Yeah, @rockchick, make sure that shit SOAKS in! Try not to cackle too loudly in the hallway has you do it.