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great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley

Posted by catharsist 
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catharsist
great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 10, 2014
Great news first! I finally got a date for my fixin! It's dec 9th! I'll be officially baby proof!

Terrible news.. Came out as trans to parent. Parent uses DISOWN. It's super effective... Maybe they had some gender disappointment. smile rolling left righteyes2 I'm not the first person to get the cold shoulder and I won't be the last. I would be lying if I said I didn't see it coming.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.
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tausa
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 10, 2014
I am terribly sorry that your coming out to your parents was met this way, Catharsist. Please allow me to congratulate you on both your upcoming surgery and your announcement. I wish you all the very best on both counts and much joy.
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Anonymous User
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 10, 2014
Congrats on your fix and I'm sorry about your parent not accepting your lifestyle.

You can always make new family and I too wish you the best.
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rudeawakening
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 10, 2014
I'm sorry your parent was not accepting. That blows. friendly hug

Congrats on your upcoming babby-proofing procedure and good luck.
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juniper jupiter
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 10, 2014
friendly hug
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keeper of traken
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
Congrats on your upcoming fixing! grinning smiley

Sorry about your family not being accepting. sad smiley friendly hug
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barren4ever
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
Congrats on upcoming barren status. Sorry about your folks lack of understanding. friendly hug sad smiley
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screaming sausage
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
Sorry to hear your parent was less than understanding, all the best for the next chapter- freedom to be the person you know you are, and freedom from the babies. Good luck with everything friendly hug
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crazy old crone
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
I am sorry about your prejudiced parent; but I congratulate you on being who you are.
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Anonymous User
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
Congratulations on the sterilization, but I am sorry about your parents being dickmuffins. One of my best friends is trans, and I knew her before she realized that she was actually female. I am so happy that she found herself, and I am so happy that you found yourself. Please feel free to contact me if you need to talk about anything (I know that sounds like a trite cliché, but I mean it).
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randomcfchick
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
catharsist, congrats on the upcoming surgery! That's terrific.

Also, sorry to hear about your parent being a bag of dicks. I've always been a supporter of trans and queer people, and I hate when parents are so blinded their own preconceptions and projections that they can't see their own kid who's just trying to be him/herself. They want to have their little coming-out tantrum? Fine. But hopefully they don't try to have it on your time. I hope your parents come around once the shock wears off.

Build your family of choice & celebrate this next chapter of your life with them. I'm happy for you.
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Dorisan
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
Quote
catharsist
Terrible news.. Came out as trans to parent. Parent uses DISOWN. It's super effective...

:::shakes head in disbelief::::

Good lord

You're still the same person, you've just provided them with more insight to your gender identification.

I must be too detached from general human behavior. There's not a lot that surprises me; as long as the news isn't of a nature that means someone has suffered or been victimized, I typically listen and move on. When my sister announced that her daughter was gay, I said "really? cool. let her know that I wish her the best. she's a great kid. hey did you get that box of Grandpa's carvings I sent?"

Your folks are idiots.
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learnernotlurker
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
Congratulations and best wishes for the scheduled surgery. Your parents are the only losers; may they someday learn to celebrate you and your journey through life.
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the noodler
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
Okay, I'm just going to ask the OP, Catharsist:

I'm confused, and curious. So you are a pre-op transgender. May I ask which to which gender you are pursuing and, is the possibility of an unintended/accidental pregnancy really a risk at this time without sterilization? I ask, because if you're getting whatever bits one would use to reproduce removed, then what is the worry of pregnancy?

I swear I am not looking for a fight.
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blondie
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
Did your parent really have no idea until you came out? Congrats on upcoming surgery and keeping it real.
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thundergirl85
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 11, 2014
I echo what everyone else has said - sorry about the unaccepting parent, and congrats on both the fixin' and the coming out. Both of those things relate to establishing your identity and fermenting who you want to be.

I'd like to share one more point that I haven't seen yet. Oftentimes, with parents, they tend to flip out initially but then get over it. Parents often go over the top when faced with something they don't like--especially when it comes to their kid choosing a path that they [the parents] fear or don't agree with--but, usually, they get used to it and realize that life goes on. Oftentimes, they either react uncontrollably (if they're naturally reactive, emotional type people and have strong clashing beliefs), or they hope that their disapproval will convince you to change. But when the dust settles, and they realize that they can't change how it is, they'll realize that you are the way you are, and they can either accept you or not. Most eventually come around and choose to accept it, even if it takes months or years, because they'd rather have a relationship with their kid than not.
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kittehpeoples
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 12, 2014
I'm really sorry about your parent being a dickweed. friendly hug
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yummynotmummy
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 12, 2014
Pleased about your surgery date and hope it all goes well.

More power to you for being who you are - if your parent doesn't like it, their loss. friendly hug
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popcornculturejunkie
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 12, 2014
About your upcoming surgery:

:GOMIIMOG :partay

Also, sorry your parent is acting like a keg of ass... friendly hug friendly hug friendly hug friendly hug

_________________________________________________________

Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)
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MerlynHerne
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 12, 2014
friendly hug
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redheadedharlot
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 12, 2014
I'm so sorry to hear about your parents' shitty reaction. They are the ones that are supposed to love you unconditionally. I agree with thundergirl85 in that they will come around. But you did stand up and say "this is me". That has to feel freeing.

Congrats so much on the upcoming fixin'! Without a doubt, in all of my 43 years, waking up from my tubal and feeling the bandage on my belly button was THE best moment in my life! Really lets you smile a little more smugly when you encounter the moo trying desperately to control a tantrumming brat bouncing and laughing
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kman
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 12, 2014
Congrats on the sterilization and jeers to your parent.

The annoying thing is that later the parent is likely to turn to you when s/he needs help or care—after saying all that was said now, the disowning business, etc.
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catharsist
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 13, 2014
Quote
the noodler
Okay, I'm just going to ask the OP, Catharsist:

I'm confused, and curious. So you are a pre-op transgender. May I ask which to which gender you are pursuing and, is the possibility of an unintended/accidental pregnancy really a risk at this time without sterilization? I ask, because if you're getting whatever bits one would use to reproduce removed, then what is the worry of pregnancy?

I swear I am not looking for a fight.

First, thanks everyone for responding. My mom was the one that flipped out and now she's doing this "I'm going to forget what you said" thing and I am A-OK with that. She basically told me that I am the family's shit-starter even though I didn't really do anything. I'm happy I'm me so she might want to get comfy for the duration. Lol!

Cerebralherpes thank you very much for the support. I appreciate it a lot.

And noodler, I'd be happy to answer your questions. I know you don't mean to offend. Curiosity is a virtue.

I am pre-op. The reason why I am not getting a hysto is because I need to keep some hormones in my body to maintain not only muscle growth, but bone strength. I need bone strength to continue binding my chest without causing any damage to bone or underlying organ tissue while I reduce my weight to lose these puppies. I am losing weight and building muscle to take on a more mesomorphic male shape as I have no money (nor patience) for hormone replacement.

I chose to go for a fixin because while my preferred gender is male, my preferred partner is also male. I guess that makes me gay. Lol!

Also I would like to point out that a majority of trans* people are not dysphoric (bothered) towards their genitalia. Some indeed are, but not all. As this is the case, many individuals chose to not undergo "bottom surgery". Many individuals in that position will get a hysto and go on hormone replacement to prevent some mpreg action. I can't do HR so I need to keep my usual glands in place, or risk battling early menopause. I'm pretty much going at this as minimal as I can. I also plan on getting novasure to stop periods which will make it damn near impossible for pregnancy to happen. And on top of that, I use condoms. I'll be an impregnable fortress. Lol!

I'm open to questions.
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catharsist
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 13, 2014
And just because I feel like strutting my stuff, I've lost around 90 pounds. I'm gettin' HAWT! Seriously folks, low carb is the SHIT. I started at around 300 and I just weighed in at 208. I'll be sexxxay in no time and I'm not stopping until I get some quarter-bouncing Abs! Now I'll have TWO reasons to be smug!
smug :satan
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the noodler
Re: great and terrible news grinning smileyopenmouthed shockangry smiley
November 13, 2014
Quote
catharsist
Quote
the noodler
Okay, I'm just going to ask the OP, Catharsist:

I'm confused, and curious. So you are a pre-op transgender. May I ask which to which gender you are pursuing and, is the possibility of an unintended/accidental pregnancy really a risk at this time without sterilization? I ask, because if you're getting whatever bits one would use to reproduce removed, then what is the worry of pregnancy?

I swear I am not looking for a fight.

First, thanks everyone for responding. My mom was the one that flipped out and now she's doing this "I'm going to forget what you said" thing and I am A-OK with that. She basically told me that I am the family's shit-starter even though I didn't really do anything. I'm happy I'm me so she might want to get comfy for the duration. Lol!

Cerebralherpes thank you very much for the support. I appreciate it a lot.

And noodler, I'd be happy to answer your questions. I know you don't mean to offend. Curiosity is a virtue.

I am pre-op. The reason why I am not getting a hysto is because I need to keep some hormones in my body to maintain not only muscle growth, but bone strength. I need bone strength to continue binding my chest without causing any damage to bone or underlying organ tissue while I reduce my weight to lose these puppies. I am losing weight and building muscle to take on a more mesomorphic male shape as I have no money (nor patience) for hormone replacement.

I chose to go for a fixin because while my preferred gender is male, my preferred partner is also male. I guess that makes me gay. Lol!

Also I would like to point out that a majority of trans* people are not dysphoric (bothered) towards their genitalia. Some indeed are, but not all. As this is the case, many individuals chose to not undergo "bottom surgery". Many individuals in that position will get a hysto and go on hormone replacement to prevent some mpreg action. I can't do HR so I need to keep my usual glands in place, or risk battling early menopause. I'm pretty much going at this as minimal as I can. I also plan on getting novasure to stop periods which will make it damn near impossible for pregnancy to happen. And on top of that, I use condoms. I'll be an impregnable fortress. Lol!

I'm open to questions.

Gotcha. And congrats . Good luck and health to you both! :-)
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