I had to laugh when I read the post from the mother of four kids who advised people to "get used to doing with less" to afford children - including driving used cars, not having a big screen TV, getting creative with hamburger and flank steak, get very handy with home repairs, etc.
Guess what? My DH and I, who are CF, have been doing all those things since we married almost nine years ago!
Our careers are not high paying, and we absolutely do not want to get into deep debt, live paycheck-to-paycheck and finance everything with credit cards. We are making the sacrifice to live more simply than many people do because we chose our careers for benefits other than high salaries. One of those benefits is having plenty of time outside of work to spend time with each other and pursue hobbies and interests.
Meanwhile, my younger sister and her husband have three small children, and they will have their fourth child this summer. Sis hasn't worked since the two oldest children (twins) were born seven years ago, and BIL's salary isn't more more than DH's and my combined salary.
Yet they are spending WAY MORE MONEY each month than DH and I do. I know this because while my BIL brags about how much money he makes, Sis whines about how they "never seem to have any money."
Well, maybe that's because they live in a house that is twice as large and much newer than DH's and my 1,500-square-foot, 22-year-old house, so they have a much larger mortgage.
And maybe it's because they buy new, large, expensive minivans and cars every few years, while DH and I drive new or used compact cars that we keep for several years after we pay them off. His car is seven years old, mine is eight years old, but we take care of them and they look and run like new.
It's also because Sis and BIL are always buying the latest electronic equipment and new toys for their kids, and eating out all the time, even though Sis is a SAHM mom and could cook less expensive meals at home if she wanted too. My DH and I, meanwhile, limit the amount of stuff we buy (partly because our home is small and we hate clutter) and cook at home most of the time after shopping carefully and looking for bargains at the grocery store. We also think it's healthier for us to eat at home most of the time.
And our entertainment is very simple. We're content to just go for a long walk somewhere and get coffee or ice cream on one of our "dates," instead of eating out all the time. Restaurants, particularly nice ones, are special treats, not everyday or every week treats as they are for Sis and BIL.
So, mother of four - don't tell me that it's easy to afford FOUR children (!!!) if you simply do with less! My DH and I have done with less FOR YEARS, and we still don't know how we could afford one child, much less four.
I suppose we could drain our savings and do without the repairs and renovations that our house needs and that we want to do - we're enjoying fixing up an older home that has character. And I guess we could eliminate our once-a-year vacation, which is usually not that expensive. But we don't want children of our own enough to do that; we're content to be aunt and uncle to six - soon to be seven - nieces and nephews.
Sis and BIL, on the other hand, never planned to have four children - they readily admit that our newest nephew was a "surprise." (I don't know why she didn't have a tubal after having three kids - that was the number they had planned on having.)
Sis whines enough now about how they never have any money, despite having a big house, new cars and all these things, and now she says they'll have to move to a larger, and probably more expensive, house next year to make room for the new baby. I'm not looking forward to hearing her whine about her finances even more than she does now!