Am I insensitive because I find this pitiful? (woman commits suicide because she isn't wed and bred by age 30)

http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/11/woman-commits-suicide-because-she-was-unmarried-and-had-no-children-by-30-5058139/

Hot damn. Guess Darwin claimed another victim. I agree with the poster who said that this is such a "first world problem".

I am so glad I value myself more than about what falls out of my cunt. Pitiful, brainwashed woman. I would feel bad for her but I just cannot manage it because the world has one less source of crazy in it.

Yeah, I kind of rolled my eyes when I saw that on my Facebook feed. I'm nearly 30, nowhere close to being married (and very ambivalent about the idea), and obviously never having kids. I'm quite okay with that. My friends are all slowly getting married and breeding. My childhood pen pal just announced her engagement. I'm looking forward to being the last woman standing.

The only part of the Lifescript I desperately want is my own house. I really, really, really want to be a homeowner. Preferably building a new home, but will take a fixer-upper to mold into my dream home. A giant kitchen for my practice and plenty of land for farming.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

That's a real article? When someone shared it on farcebook I thought it was an article from The Onion type ripoff hoping for publicity. Oh well, really sucks that there are so many weak minded people who get overwhelmed by pressure from family/friends/society to marry and breed instead of making their own path.

No plans for getting married at age 30, but I did get married in my 30s. Just glad I had the will and determination to say Fuck You to the Lifescript and found like minded people here.

I actually feel kinda sorry for her for having such little respect and love for herself. I can understand the feeling of being a failure if you are living in a small town without having wed and bred. In fact I was told a few years ago that I was going to be nothing but the old maiden aunt still living at home. I find that I'm kinda looking forward to that because my childfree great-aunt is awesome and takes no shit from anyone. She's the first bible thumper I've met that believes in abortion and hates kids . I wish this woman would have been able to look around and see what a gift she had in life. I wish she had been strong enough to not let the breeders break her down to feel like she was nothing without a man and kids. The breeders around her with the passive-aggressive remarks are the ones responsible for this.

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addiea raine
I actually feel kinda sorry for her for having such little respect and love for herself. I can understand the feeling of being a failure if you are living in a small town without having wed and bred. In fact I was told a few years ago that I was going to be nothing but the old maiden aunt still living at home. I find that I'm kinda looking forward to that because my childfree great-aunt is awesome and takes no shit from anyone. She's the first bible thumper I've met that believes in abortion and hates kids . I wish this woman would have been able to look around and see what a gift she had in life. I wish she had been strong enough to not let the breeders break her down to feel like she was nothing without a man and kids. The breeders around her with the passive-aggressive remarks are the ones responsible for this.

I agree with you. Everyone is different. Some people are stronger than others. We live in a culture where a woman isn't shit if she does not have kids. The marriage thing is no where near as big a deal as the kids thing.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

Maybe they needed to the show this woman some "true mother's confessions" and actually educate her on the truth, she then would be grateful, every day, for the fact that she has not gotten herself involved into all that bay-bee stuff.

It is also a reality that society is still being a turd to women. If you are a successful man who never married or had kids, people tell you they want to live your life. But for women, to degrade and belittle them because of their familial status, that needs to change. Now.

It sounds like she was unstable, insecure and probably depressed. When you are always looking outside yourself for validation you can't really win.

I wonder what kind of people she surrounded herself with that their opinions led to her suicide. I find it very strange because the UK is pretty much the most tolerant society I've experienced so far and I've lived in several countries. I came across tons of people in London who said they never wanted kyds and while the ones who did have/want them were always very vocal with their bingos I didn't feel that saying you didn't want to sprog was such a big deal. Very weird.

But really, why is 'marriage' such a big deal? You can divorce online nowadays, I mean come on! There must've been more to this story though, maybe this girl was of the insecure attention-seeker variety and decided to stage her own mock-selfsecution which unfortunately backfired.

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blondie
It sounds like she was unstable, insecure and probably depressed. When you are always looking outside yourself for validation you can't really win.

And that would likely have been the makings of a crappy wife and shitty mother. Once she realized that life didn't all of a sudden attain a special shine, that marriage and - especially - motherhood, brings with it more responsibilities, complications and burdens, she might well have sunk into a deeper depression.

If healthy people fail at marriage half the time, and even the most devoted mothers express dissatisfaction with that role, someone whose very existence depended on those goals would likely have been a spectacular failure.

Women are socialized to be the service class. One of those services are childbearing, being a live-in maid, and a toy for hubbie's pleasure. The woman is only allowed to have one man because if she could actually enjoy sex the world would fall off its axis. Last but not least, women are trained to show deference to a man. She didn't fulfill her roles as a woman by the prescribed time and now she is dead because once a woman hits 30 there is some sort of unspoken rule that women just need to disappear apparently. In this sense, she did not kill herself. Society killed her long before her heart stopped beating.

And this is why I'm a feminist.

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Catarsist
Last but not least, women are trained to show deference to a man. She didn't fulfill her roles as a woman by the prescribed time and now she is dead because once a woman hits 30 there is some sort of unspoken rule that women just need to disappear apparently. In this sense, she did not kill herself. Society killed her long before her heart stopped beating.

I vote for unbiased education x 1000000. This has happened in UK and some people are shocked. I am not. Western World, while being more fair legally, is not always fair societally. Here in USA, we have big cities that are old school and still preach old fashioned breeder dogma.

The age 30 is a "magic" number simply because of one and only one reason - breeding. Since "everyone wants kyds", age 30 is the "last chance" to produce the "American dream" - 2 kyds, 2 years apart. After the age 35, it is "advanced maternal age" and breeders view such woman as worthless.

That woman needed to come and visit BratFree. She would see that not everyone cares about breeding. She would also learn that 30 is just a number and that CF people don't pay attention to it.

My gut reaction was "Fucking hell, who kills themselves over something so ridiculous?"

But having thought it over, I feel a bit differently, mostly because I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for many years, while being surrounded by people who are extremely unhelpful and dismissive about the situation. This woman might have experienced something similar.

She clearly needed something- counseling, medication, etc. Being married and having children wouldn’t have solved her real problems. So no, I won’t say that you’re insensitive, but I do think that there is much more to this story.

Here is one from the same page http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/12/taiwan-father-lashes-one-month-old-son-to-car-steering-wheel-in-appalling-viral-video-5060338/

I guess that is one of the uses

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alana
So no, I won’t say that you’re insensitive, but I do think that there is much more to this story.

A few lines from the article

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Miss Gow’s problems began in 2011 after her mother Connie a primary school teacher died from cancer aged 66 in 2011.

A statement heard in court read: ‘Following the death of her mother Rachel had a period of independence.

In 2011, Gow would have been ~26, meaning she was a later baby, born to her mother when she was 40ish? Youngest child? Her mother was dependent upon her? Gow might have been the caretaker for her mother since her siblings were married with kids?

I wonder if there wasn't some resentment toward the mother; that Gow felt she had lost years to her mother's care that she could have spent looking for a mate.

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felt other members of her family were ‘doing better than her’.

Sounds like the family had a narrow standard of what "success" meant and likely impressed that upon Miss Gow.

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Fearing her boyfriend Anton Tsvarev, 30 would leave her, Miss Gow sent him a text message wishing him ‘all the best for the future’ before taking her own life at her home.

Very insecure, had communication problems, struck out in anger at her boyfriend by delivering a snarky farewell message.

I have to wonder if the press picked this up because of Gow's appearance and description of her personality. It was an "OMGZ! how could someone so perky, pretty and bubbly have the sadz? Guys should have been flocking to her!"

Messed up young woman. She should have spent time in therapy rather than obsessing over her biological clock.

I've no sympathy for idiots.

Can you imagine what a danger a nut like that would have been to a husband or a child? I would have preferred that problem be prevented with mental health counseling, but still, at least she isn't dragging anyone else down with her.

I'll toss out some sympathy for dead non-moo. Society has all sorts of arbitrary time limits that make you feel worthless if you don't make them. Me? I have a bachelor's degree, an IQ of 130 and I'm older than I "should" be for working the shit job I have. My husband and are paying the bills, I put in an honest, hard day's work, but some times I do feel suicidal for for not being the financial success I want to be/ "should" be. Every job interview that ends in a rejection letter makes me feel worthless. So, to kill yourself for not having kids or being married seems silly to most people, it was something she wanted that she just couldn't make happen, no matter how hard she tried. Obviously there were also mental health issues (as with me), but part of me empathizes with her greatly.

Well I think it's a sad scenario that she didn't feel that there was any help for her. It sounds like she had attachment and insecurity issues. Maybe her friends and family made her feel a failure for not marrying and breeding, who knows.

Women are still brainwashed into thinking that's all they're worth, that's even sadder. I'm with catharsis on that one.

She should have been celebrating not having been wed to a 30 year old going on 14 man boy as they so often are these days, who are not exactly stellar parents even if the woman really wants to have a kid. At least she didn't end up alone from divorce and having her baby daddy abandon her and chyld.

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Dorisan
Sounds like the family had a narrow standard of what "success" meant and likely impressed that upon Miss Gow.

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Fearing her boyfriend Anton Tsvarev, 30 would leave her, Miss Gow sent him a text message wishing him ‘all the best for the future’ before taking her own life at her home.

Very insecure, had communication problems, struck out in anger at her boyfriend by delivering a snarky farewell message.

Hmm, looking at the name of BF, it sounds a touch Eastern European to me. If that is the case, it then explains a touch better what took place here. Women definitely have the "expired by the age of 30" stamped on their foreheads in some of those places. Maybe some of that was brought to UK. But, that is just an assumption as I have zero proof of that. Names don't always mean much and just because someone is from Eastern Europe, it does not mean they cannot be CF.

On the other hand, the article said that she and her BF had a long term relationship. I have to admit, I have seen people do crazy shit when it comes to wanting to breed. Maybe she simply blew a gasket and allowed her breeding hormones to take control.

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stillwaters
I'll toss out some sympathy for dead non-moo. Society has all sorts of arbitrary time limits that make you feel worthless if you don't make them. Me? I have a bachelor's degree, an IQ of 130 and I'm older than I "should" be for working the shit job I have. My husband and are paying the bills, I put in an honest, hard day's work, but some times I do feel suicidal for for not being the financial success I want to be/ "should" be. Every job interview that ends in a rejection letter makes me feel worthless. So, to kill yourself for not having kids or being married seems silly to most people, it was something she wanted that she just couldn't make happen, no matter how hard she tried. Obviously there were also mental health issues (as with me), but part of me empathizes with her greatly.

I'm 43, the youngest of 4 and a fucking temp (clerical at least).
My brother, the first born Christ Child, is a rocket scientist.
Yea, I have some self esteem issues.

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the noodler
I'm 43, the youngest of 4 and a fucking temp (clerical at least).
My brother, the first born Christ Child, is a rocket scientist.
Yea, I have some self esteem issues.

Our jobs don't define us. Our income does not define us. Doing great things does not mean you must have 7 digit annual income. Enjoying life does not mean you have to have a job that you absolutely love. Some temp jobs lead to good permanent positions.

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yummynotmummy
Well I think it's a sad scenario that she didn't feel that there was any help for her. It sounds like she had attachment and insecurity issues. Maybe her friends and family made her feel a failure for not marrying and breeding, who knows.

Women are still brainwashed into thinking that's all they're worth, that's even sadder. I'm with catharsis on that one.

It really could have been a combination of things, not just the marriage/breeding and no indication that her family was bothering her about it. She complained of not being where her siblings were, and it just may have been lots of issues.

My sister when still a teenager said she would "kill herself" (not seriously) if she was not engaged by age nineteen. This thought process came from no one in my family. My parents married late for their generation and thought you should have fun as long as you can, enjoy your youth, etc. I thought she was off her rocker and told her so. She however saw herself as a desirable young princess waiting for a worshipful prince to sweep her off her feet. The stupid did not come from anywhere I could see, women's lib was a big thing at the time and girls were thinking about careers and marriage later. We did not grow up watching that Disney crap. That's just how she was. And she decided the only possible scenario was she marries this prince and in two years has a girl, then three years later a boy. No other plan.

So things were not working out as such and she picks a real piece of crap to marry, drops one loaf, divorces and the kid is like the duh, and that's the real fairy tale ending.

Tragic story - you know, this is precisely why females, starting at a very young age, need to be taught to question absolutely everything.

On a related note I saw this at Huffington Post: "The MRS Degree":

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sandra-ramos-oabriant/the-mrs-degree_b_6665820.html


So glad I went to a women's college....

Despite the fact that my life didn't worked out the way I wanted, I still count my blessing and reasons to be thankful. I heard of a Russian kid who committed suicide because of a Naruto character died. Suicide is never the answer.

Confession time. I'm afraid of getting into a relationship because of domestic violence. I have a domestic abuse phobia. I know every sign of an abusive relationship. Both grandmas were battered and divorced women. My aunt's husband never started out to be an abusive alcoholic POS. I did have two boyfriends who were really nice. I tried online dating. Nobody suited my special sno-flayque interests and asexuality too. The only benefits of marriage are the tax breaks and employment related benefits.

Reading bratfree will encourage fence sitters to fall on the childfree side (of awesomeness).

She was obviously mentally unstable and stayed with a man who wasn't ready for marriage and kyds. If he was lying to her, then shame on him. He should have cut her loose and let her get on with her crazy life.
However, I don't get the 30 thing. The average age of marriage for women in the USA is 27. People in my circle don't even consider kyds until 35. She sounds like she was suffering from severe depression and was looking for a reason to kill herself.