When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,231 |
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Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,231 |
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Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
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blackpearl
Another part which contributed to me freaking out is that i know two persons who actually split up/remarried and have kids with the actual partner after saying that they never wanted kids before. I didn't ask them why since we are not close but i can't help wonder.
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,578 |
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blackpearl
This would count as a bingo and perhaps i shouldn't give it too much attention but it disturbed me quite a lot and i'll tell you why. I met this woman at a seminar about marketing and customer service. We were in the same working group and after the session we went for lunch. She asked me if i have kids and i said no. She asked for how long have i been married and i told her, along with the fact that i don't want kids ever.
At this point she shook her head and told me that i haven't met the right person. I opened my mouth to tell her how impolite that remark is but she continued and explained to me that she really believes i care about my husband from the way i talk about him but he's not that guy who is able to awake certain feelings inside me. She went on saying that it's normal for women to care about certain men but not want kids with them because this primal instinct that we all have and makes us want to reproduce is not activated by anybody. I added that's insane because some women have kids with different men and i doubt they do care about this primal instinct and finding The One. She explained that women are different, some have kids with different men, others need to find The One but basically we all have this reproduction instinct, it just has not been awaken.
To be honest, this freaked me out a bit because if i think how me and DH started out, i can say it was "sweep me off my feet" -type. We started as friends and the things just developed without butterflies and rainbows. It made me think, is there really such a thing that a dude will just make you lose your mind and you start thinking OMG this is the one i want to have baybeees with? I really doubt so, but what do i know, she's the one my mom's age who has so much experience in life and definitely knows about primal instincts and shit.
I have been reading about this basic reproductive instinct in other places and the idea behind it was that us CF make a conscious decision not to have kids but we all have this instinct, we just suppress it and in some of us will come out at one point, triggered by different factors. This really scares me. :/
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,231 |
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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mrs. chinaski
Speaking for myself, I had crushes/relationships where I was crazy in love
but I never wanted to have a baybee, I only wanted the man.
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 499 |
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,365 |
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blackpearl
She explained that women are different, some have kids with different men, others need to find The One
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 17, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,646 |
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contemplativeintrovert
People are hugely complex, and can't, at least in my opinion, be reduced to instinct. If you would excuse my appeal to celebrity, I would like to add that my opinion is shared by Maslow, Bugental, and Rogers. This bitch telling you that everyone has a hidden desire for bio kids is being really heteronormative.
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 18, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
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Dorisan
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mrs. chinaski
Speaking for myself, I had crushes/relationships where I was crazy in love
but I never wanted to have a baybee, I only wanted the man.
Same here, but let the guy talk about "having a family" (weird that they always see it as sort of a "package" thing) and all-of-a-sudden, opposing forces hit. I still thought the guy was hot, but an increasing sense of revulsion would begin. The ovaries might be spinning, but a stronger sense of preservation was telling me that my life with him would suck soooo bad.
Re: When breeders know your feelings better than you December 18, 2016 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,204 |
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