A local publication has a new feature from a guy who is writing about his blended family. He and his now-wife have many children between them and they have One Of Our Own
TM.
He's one of those Yuppie Food and Wine Snobs who can't stop talking about how woke his kids are in that department. But if that's not annoying enough, he goes on to write:
--- They had One of Their Own because they needed some glue. Yes, he used that exact phrase, "needed some family glue." Way to give a kid a job before it's born. And why do you need glue for your marriage? Might be a sign something is wrong.
---He refers to the glue baby as the center hub, and mentioned the kid ties the rest of the family together. Delusional.
I've heard other people say this, Amy Grant for example. they typically refer to the NewKid uniting the family or some bull crap, probably to assuage their guilt for leaving their spouse and dragging everyone through the Next Family. (I believe Amy Grant and her current husband both left spouses to be together. They profess to be be "good Christians," whatever that is. I remember reading an article where her kids were understandably angry over the arrangement.)
I wonder what the kids would say if asked? Most kids know they are back of the couchers.
--He calls himself a former lousy husband, now reformed. He left his ex when his youngest was two years old. He gives details that seem to indicate he left his former wife for this person. There was no gap.
---He writes about the temptation to show favoritism and how the kids point it out.
It doesn't sound like the happy adventure that he makes it out to be, in fact it sounds like a giant cluster fuck.
I found myself feeling tremendously sad for the kids. No wonder they are confused. Father splits when they are young and they have a second family now.....it's just way too much to ask from a young person.
Why can't Breeders be content with the # of kids they have? Why can't they breed in stable marital situations and if they must leave their spouses, why not just raise the kyds they have? Why do they have to drag their kids through all their successive relationships? Why do they think Breeding with NextHusband or NextWife will yield a better situation?
(I myself am the product of a blended family. My father died young and my mom re-married an asshole. They divorced 12 years later, thank Dawg, but by that time I was out of the house and my mom couldn't continue to overlook his bad behavior. (She always blamed it on the stress of having kyds.) I had step siblings, two of whom who had genetic defects. (One was the violent type.) I looked up the only one of the bunch that I liked, and he committed suicide when he was in his 30's. If his father had been my bio father I may have chosen the same fate---he was just a lousy individual and a bad person. I have no desire to get in touch with the others.)
Dr. Whora is a giant jerk, but I find myself agreeing with her that divorced parents shouldn't marry again until their kids are grown, if at all.
yeah, it means not being with The One You Luuuuv right away. Suck it up, Breeders.
75% of second marriages with minor children end in divorce. No wonder divorced Breeders with kids want to date childfree people. Um, no thanks!