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Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"

Posted by cfuter 
Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 11, 2018
I know the Ryan thing is just a political move to get out while the getting is good. But there's a weird trend where everyone is lauding celebs or whoever for quitting jobs to be so-called better fathers/mothers.

Isn't working to put food on the table being a parent? Isn't being a public servant being a role model to your kids? Isn't weekend time family and friend time? Are all parents, while they are young, not supposed to be working at least 40 hours a week, be tired at the end of the day, and just see more of their kids in their free time? Are we all supposed to be not working M-F to make our kids the center of the universe? How did taxi-ing kids back and forth to little league and karate lessons become the focus of human existence? Is the workforce just for people who haven't reproduced? Weird trend being accepted by brain-washing people that kids should be worshiped at an altar.

Now of course, if you have family (or not), being a workaholic isn't healthy. But this mentality in the media ends up trickling down, and then my secretary thinks she should call in a few to several times a month, because her grandchild has a fever and a cough because "family is more important than this place". Um, how many adults are gonna take off of work for one grandchild? Or, she calls in because her adult child has a doctor's appointment. Can't she just tell you what happened after the appointment? She's not dying and even if she was, she's not gonna keel over at the appointment. Life goes on and you discuss things, not have to be part of every moment for every single fam member. I can't take off of work if my roof's leaking. I have to put a bucket underneath it and wait til the weekend to fix it.

I just think this is a weird trend. Sure, people are more important than some company you work for when push comes to shove. But truly, making a living is important so your family can eat and have a house to be warm in. Pretending that is not true is not helping anyone. It creates friction where there shouldn't be any. You are not entitled to a paycheck, you WORK for it.

Or, is is just me?
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 11, 2018
I completely agree with you and most parents will be incredibly lucky to have one parent at home, let alone two. The parents who go on and on about their sacrifices and humble brag about staying at home need to shut up. Met a man who was very very fortunate to be able to make an incredible living working just a few hours a week (10-12 at most) by the time he had kids. He only had to keep his very successful product relevant with updates here and there. He was able to devote pretty much all his time to his kids. He home schooled them, tons of field trips and learning, etc. and went out of his way to be a dream parent. They were indulged in all activities they wanted to experience. His daughter resents that she didn't attend public school. Both of his kids now require him to pick them up from college.

No matter what parents do and the effort exerted the overwhelming majority of kids are going to find something to complain about.

All human beings deserve to be brought up without abuse or neglect and with proper medical and nutrition. If parents can afford it, an activity or two would be nice. And they are on the spot to raise their kids to be proper citizens and good functional people. Other than that I don't think they are further obligated. College, lots of extracurricular activities, camp, iPhones, etc. are optional.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 11, 2018
Quote
cfuter
I know the Ryan thing is just a political move to get out while the getting is good. But there's a weird trend where everyone is lauding celebs or whoever for quitting jobs to be so-called better fathers/mothers.

Isn't working to put food on the table being a parent? Isn't being a public servant being a role model to your kids? Isn't weekend time family and friend time? Are all parents, while they are young, not supposed to be working at least 40 hours a week, be tired at the end of the day, and just see more of their kids in their free time? Are we all supposed to be not working M-F to make our kids the center of the universe? How did taxi-ing kids back and forth to little league and karate lessons become the focus of human existence? Is the workforce just for people who haven't reproduced? Weird trend being accepted by brain-washing people that kids should be worshiped at an altar.

Now of course, if you have family (or not), being a workaholic isn't healthy. But this mentality in the media ends up trickling down, and then my secretary thinks she should call in a few to several times a month, because her grandchild has a fever and a cough because "family is more important than this place". Um, how many adults are gonna take off of work for one grandchild? Or, she calls in because her adult child has a doctor's appointment. Can't she just tell you what happened after the appointment? She's not dying and even if she was, she's not gonna keel over at the appointment. Life goes on and you discuss things, not have to be part of every moment for every single fam member. I can't take off of work if my roof's leaking. I have to put a bucket underneath it and wait til the weekend to fix it.

I just think this is a weird trend. Sure, people are more important than some company you work for when push comes to shove. But truly, making a living is important so your family can eat and have a house to be warm in. Pretending that is not true is not helping anyone. It creates friction where there shouldn't be any. You are not entitled to a paycheck, you WORK for it.

Or, is is just me?


Paul Ryan is using the politically correct way to exit the political circus before the tent comes crashing down and traps all the Republicans under the Trump tent. After all, no matter what you do, if it's "for the children," then nobody will criticize you for it. It's an easy way to get out while he still can.

If he can afford to lounge around with his kids, it's because he got rich from his wealthy donors while in Washington.

Don't feel too sorry for him just yet. He'll probably eventually land in a cushy university job teaching political science, where he'll never have to answer to the citizens for his shitty politics.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 12, 2018
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Peace

Don't feel too sorry for him just yet. He'll probably eventually land in a cushy university job teaching political science, where he'll never have to answer to the citizens for his shitty politics.

But if he works again, he's back to being a "weekend dad". What will he and the kids do? Doncha know in 2018 your whole life is suppose to sound around your children?
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 12, 2018
I heard the Paul Ryan thing and I thought, what a cover story. He is getting out before the midterms and moving far away from Chumpy. I wouldn't be surprised if he runs at the state level.

Quote

But this mentality in the media ends up trickling down, and then my secretary thinks she should call in a few to several times a month, because her grandchild has a fever and a cough because "family is more important than this place". Um, how many adults are gonna take off of work for one grandchild? Or, she calls in because her adult child has a doctor's appointment. Can't she just tell you what happened after the appointment? She's not dying and even if she was, she's not gonna keel over at the appointment. Life goes on and you discuss things, not have to be part of every moment for every single fam member.

The inefficiency of modern parenthood astounds me.

In my day to day life I have so many questions such as:

Why does it take an entire family to go to the store? Or the doctor's office? Why can't one person stay home with the kid? If there is a stay at home parent, why does the working parent have to take off for every little doctor's appointment? Is the stay at home parent incapable of taking care of business? Why are Duds going home and having to clean house? I work with dudes with unemployed wives who never cook. It's as if it's beneath them, but they sure can hover over their kids.

Women aren't supposed to be homemakers anymore, even though home economics is a valuable skill. It's socially acceptable now to stay home and hover. When my sister stayed home with her kids, I'd call her and she would be cleaning up at 9:00 at night. She wasn't cleaning during the day because she was supposed to be some kind of 24/7 entertainment center for her brats.

And don't get me started on sports and extra curricular activities. I did a lot of them and I rode the late bus home and that was it. I did these activities because I WANTED TO, not because a parent was watching me. DH played sports and his parents did not routinely come to his games. Now parents are supposed to come to every PRACTICE. they micro-manage their kids' sports and yell at the coach to put them in the game. I don't know why anyone would want to be a coach or teacher these days because the parents are so hovering and obnoxious.

I didn't like being a kid when I was a kid. I couldn't wait to grow up and be my own person. I am the person I am today because I had a lot of alone time when I was a kid. If I had a smothering parent like today, I think I would have snapped.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 12, 2018
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cfuter
Quote
Peace

Don't feel too sorry for him just yet. He'll probably eventually land in a cushy university job teaching political science, where he'll never have to answer to the citizens for his shitty politics.

But if he works again, he's back to being a "weekend dad". What will he and the kids do? Doncha know in 2018 your whole life is suppose to sound around your children?

His cushy university job will probably be in the same city he lives in, so he can take his sprog to work and show everybody ow important he is for riding a woman bareback!
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 13, 2018
Yeah, my bullshit meter red-lined the moment I read that story. He's smelled smoke and hoped the fire would go out, but at this point he's just leaving before the place burns down with him in it.

He may stay home with his kids for a bit, but I'm betting on a book deal, Fox News talking head gig, and/or poli sci deal will come his way and keep him rich.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 13, 2018
His kids are fucking gonna start college soon. A teenager doesnt hang out w/ his dad, on weekend or weekdays, they have fucking friends and social life. Most people in public life, their families know what to expect. It's a way of life.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 14, 2018
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bell_flower
The inefficiency of modern parenthood astounds me.

In my day to day life I have so many questions such as:

Why does it take an entire family to go to the store? Or the doctor's office? Why can't one person stay home with the kid?

The entire family has to go to the grocery store so they can stand around with blank looks on their faces and block the entire aisle.
The doctor's office is same principle but the entire family can take up all the seats in the waiting room and the brats can whine about being bored.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 14, 2018
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freya
The entire family has to go to the grocery store so they can stand around with blank looks on their faces and block the entire aisle.
The doctor's office is same principle but the entire family can take up all the seats in the waiting room and the brats can whine about being bored.

There's one doctor's office men seem to get out of visiting, but kids still must be brought: gynecology. And where maybe one or two people in a GP's waiting room will have kids, it seems like every woman in a gynecologist's waiting room must have a handful of them. Do they think a demonstration of reproduction is a substitute for a pap smear or something? Do they expect gold medals? I'm pretty sure none of those children were the result of asexual reproduction, and given the sheer number of women who bring them they can't all be single mawms, so why the fuck can't someone else watch them?
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 14, 2018
I can remember in the 70s when my dad would have to bring all of us along to the bank or shopping for food or even for a doctors' visit because "Your mum is working (or sleeping, or tired, or angry)" and it was embarrassing. Later on, my older sister and I were old enough to be home alone, so that was an improvement. But then I think some people think that large families are a "mark of accomplishment" and bring them everywhere is "showing off." I just think large families are embarrassing.

Oh, and one reason I don't get along with my mother that much today is because, with all the kids and working in nursing management, she was constantly working/sleeping/tired/angry/disappointed (and then she would say to me "are you interested in nursing?") so not pleasant to be with.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 14, 2018
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yurble
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freya
The entire family has to go to the grocery store so they can stand around with blank looks on their faces and block the entire aisle.
The doctor's office is same principle but the entire family can take up all the seats in the waiting room and the brats can whine about being bored.

There's one doctor's office men seem to get out of visiting, but kids still must be brought: gynecology. And where maybe one or two people in a GP's waiting room will have kids, it seems like every woman in a gynecologist's waiting room must have a handful of them. Do they think a demonstration of reproduction is a substitute for a pap smear or something? Do they expect gold medals? I'm pretty sure none of those children were the result of asexual reproduction, and given the sheer number of women who bring them they can't all be single mawms, so why the fuck can't someone else watch them?

One reason I am so glad to be a man is the stories my sisters tell me about "old gynes" and their offices with the preggos, crowded waiting rooms, having to wait around so long and the baby pictures on every vertical surface. Are planned parenthood offices like that?
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 14, 2018
This is a modern phenom regarding the gyn office. I've been going to the same gyne office since I was 10/11 when I got my period. This is a longg time ago. Women came alone. ( I went alone since I was in high school) Maybe if they 'just' had a baby, the new loaf would be in a stroller. But that was it. It was a quiet room.

Now I'm literally the ONLY woman in there w/o a bloated belly and 1-3 kids in tow, totally clueless how much noise the brood is making while others may even be anxious to see the doctor for an actual medical problem. I'm also usually the only person in there without a man in tow also. Becuz now 2 adults must take off work for a well prenatal appt. This started a bit in the 90s but usually at the evening appts, so the men came after they worked all day. Plus, my doctor got an ultrasound machine in the office and would do the procedure on certain days/nights. That was the worst. But now, they must do the ultrasounds 6 days a week, bcuz this shit goes on all the time. The men used to look like a fish outta water and you can tell they were dragged their by the mom to be. Now, they look like this is the life they accepted. Everyone is staring at their phones while their offspring wiggle , run, fingerprint everything and never shut the fuck up. No one uses their indoor voice.

If the mom is alone, she would be a poster child for the CF as she's very typical: Huge ass stroller, w/ 6 cup holders, and a cart full of stuff to amuse everyone. Of course the latest brand yoga pants and athletic shirt to look stylish while mooing around w/ the kids. Looks flustered while pensively rapid-tapping on her phone, bcuz ya know, you have to be multi-tasking these days when youre a busy busy moo. Otherwise, you'd feel like you're missing out by just doing one thing at a time, like watching your kids, or just going to the doctor. Harried look on face, hair modernly just messed up just right. I feel like I'm in a Disney film about distracted parents or an ad about a gadget just made for single moos.

I mentioned some of this to my doctor but he said 60% of patients are non- preggos. (I quietly thought to myself that can''t be true, becuz I never see them no matter my appt time. Back in the 70s and 80s you'd see a lot less preggos, just women getting checked out) I never see an older women get checked out, which means they neglect themselves after the child bearing is over

Anywho, this slowly has been a modern current day phenomenon. There's more kids in a gyne office then there are gyne patients. Same w/ there are more men in there than there are in a GPs office any day of the week. It's just another place where children have taken over. I guess it is normal now to have an entire audience while in the stirrups. Have the entire family, no matter their age, ask the doctor a buncha questions and be distracting while working. Wow, just what i want to see as a kid, and a husband(baby daddy). While I'm glad men are more involved, but as a fellow patient, is something I was used to doing in a quiet atmosphere, w/o all the auxiliary people around. Ya think the moo would let dud watch the sprogs, so she could have a quiet hour to herself while going to the doctor. They make their own lives harried.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 14, 2018
Mr Neptune-


Back in the day, gyn offices really didnt have all those sprog pics all over, that also seemed to start a bit more in the late 90s and now of course, w/ the iPhone people have to take and post and print out a million pics of the damn loaves. I should ask my doctor to post the ultrasound of my cantaloupe sized fibroid on the wall. smug
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 14, 2018
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mr. neptune
One reason I am so glad to be a man is the stories my sisters tell me about "old gynes" and their offices with the preggos, crowded waiting rooms, having to wait around so long and the baby pictures on every vertical surface. Are planned parenthood offices like that?

I don't know, as they are only in the US. But since they offer women's healthcare services, there are probably some bizzy mawms who feel the need to bring their brats. I can't imagine they'd have the pictures up, though.

Baby pictures and baby announcements everywhere, waiting rooms filled to the gills with preggos and sproggen sounds a lot like what I've experienced. It makes what is already an unpleasant experience ten times worse.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 14, 2018
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cfuter
While I'm glad men are more involved, but as a fellow patient, is something I was used to doing in a quiet atmosphere, w/o all the auxiliary people around. Ya think the moo would let dud watch the sprogs, so she could have a quiet hour to herself while going to the doctor. They make their own lives harried.

Given how many women have anxiety about checkups and use this as a reason to not get them, the doctors should consider reserving one day a week for "quiet" appointments: no kids, maximum one other adult (friend, partner, whatever) for moral support if required. (I don't need support for my regular checkups, but I did want my partner there when I was going for sterilization, and I know some people are more anxious than I am.) If they can have awtizm movie nights, surely they could manage one day a week of quiet gyne days?
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 15, 2018
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yurble
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cfuter
While I'm glad men are more involved, but as a fellow patient, is something I was used to doing in a quiet atmosphere, w/o all the auxiliary people around. Ya think the moo would let dud watch the sprogs, so she could have a quiet hour to herself while going to the doctor. They make their own lives harried.

Given how many women have anxiety about checkups and use this as a reason to not get them, the doctors should consider reserving one day a week for "quiet" appointments: no kids, maximum one other adult (friend, partner, whatever) for moral support if required. (I don't need support for my regular checkups, but I did want my partner there when I was going for sterilization, and I know some people are more anxious than I am.) If they can have awtizm movie nights, surely they could manage one day a week of quiet gyne days?

I was thinking the same thing about only scheduling non preggos on certain days. I'll keep going here til my doctor retires. Once he does, Im finding a gyne that doesnt do obstetrics. I'll be much happier.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 15, 2018
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cfuter
I was thinking the same thing about only scheduling non preggos on certain days. I'll keep going here til my doctor retires. Once he does, Im finding a gyne that doesnt do obstetrics. I'll be much happier.

If I could, I would! Imagine, no more having your appointments canceled because some high-risk preggo has popped. (It's only happened to me once, but I have no patience for that kind of stuff. If I go to the emergency room, I don't expect to see my GP there. There's a reason to make a distinction between emergency and routine medicine.)
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 15, 2018
When making an appt, ask the receptionist, Is (s)he on call that day? Only make appt when the doctor is not on call. I swear back in the day, I never had these problems, but that too started to become a problem for me. I'd make appts early, but sit in the paper gown so long, and COME OUT IN THE HALL in it saying I had appts w/ clients and couldnt be late, so I will have to leave if I cant be seen.
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 15, 2018
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freya
I completely agree with you and most parents will be incredibly lucky to have one parent at home, let alone two. The parents who go on and on about their sacrifices and humble brag about staying at home need to shut up. Met a man who was very very fortunate to be able to make an incredible living working just a few hours a week (10-12 at most) by the time he had kids. He only had to keep his very successful product relevant with updates here and there. He was able to devote pretty much all his time to his kids. He home schooled them, tons of field trips and learning, etc. and went out of his way to be a dream parent. They were indulged in all activities they wanted to experience. His daughter resents that she didn't attend public school. Both of his kids now require him to pick them up from college.

No matter what parents do and the effort exerted the overwhelming majority of kids are going to find something to complain about.

All human beings deserve to be brought up without abuse or neglect and with proper medical and nutrition. If parents can afford it, an activity or two would be nice. And they are on the spot to raise their kids to be proper citizens and good functional people. Other than that I don't think they are further obligated. College, lots of extracurricular activities, camp, iPhones, etc. are optional.

Both my parents worked long hours and I spent many hours at their work places because that was the way it was. I was expected to behave and draw quietly.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
Re: Lauding people for not wanting to be just a "weekend dad"
April 15, 2018
Me too. Adults knew they had to make a living. Kids had to act right in the adult world. Now in my office at least, we're supposed to ignore that the kids are acting up and being disturbing. It's only gonna get worse.
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