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The Complete Lack of Empathy
Posted by catharsist
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The Complete Lack of Empathy August 05, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,430 |
So I seriously have not been on this board in YEARS. But I had a conversation that inspired me to get RIGHT the hell back here. Today I had a conversation with a parent colleague of mine (who is actually pretty cool otherwise) concerning maternity leave. I told her that my idea was if maternity leave was a thing, why don't we just give blanket paid leave for everyone (about 6 months for every three years) and then people could use it for having kids (because that's what they want to do) or they could use it for other things like writing a book or traveling or family obligations that don't involve kids. I said this because not only would it give leave for parents but ALSO the childfree as well as combat the basis that many have for restricting the pay of women in society, namely maternity leave. This is literally great for EVERYONE. What does my coworker say?
That she doesn't agree.
Why doesn't she agree? Because someone like us could also have leave. Talk about Fixed Pie Fallacy! I mean, it literally combats a lot of issues and everyone gets leave! WTF! The pure absurdity made me think "am I fucking crazy or what?" So I came here because I KNOW you fine peeps are good as fuck about shit like this. Like... she literally didn't agree and got pissy just because someone who didn't have kids would get it. She said something akin to: "what does a childless person need with leave?" I was like: "maybe to take care of sick or elderly relatives???" Because idunno, THAT SHIT HAPPENS!? She straight up said that we wouldn't agree because there is no reason for a person to need leave other than taking care of a CHILD! WOW! Why do the people who raise children end up being the people who have the least fucking empathy!? And furthermore, why am I even fucking surprised!?
It feels good to be back. ROFL!
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So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...
My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.
In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.
That she doesn't agree.
Why doesn't she agree? Because someone like us could also have leave. Talk about Fixed Pie Fallacy! I mean, it literally combats a lot of issues and everyone gets leave! WTF! The pure absurdity made me think "am I fucking crazy or what?" So I came here because I KNOW you fine peeps are good as fuck about shit like this. Like... she literally didn't agree and got pissy just because someone who didn't have kids would get it. She said something akin to: "what does a childless person need with leave?" I was like: "maybe to take care of sick or elderly relatives???" Because idunno, THAT SHIT HAPPENS!? She straight up said that we wouldn't agree because there is no reason for a person to need leave other than taking care of a CHILD! WOW! Why do the people who raise children end up being the people who have the least fucking empathy!? And furthermore, why am I even fucking surprised!?
It feels good to be back. ROFL!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...
My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.
In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 05, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
I'm also firmly of the opinion that universal sabbaticals is the only way to go, and that they must be paid for out of a national plan, as the other option would either burden businesses, engender a situation where people are tied to a particular employment, or both. It has the advantage of being non-discriminatory as everyone's personal life and choices are treated with the same value. Furthermore, it normalizes taking gaps from employment, which benefits everyone (it is well-known, for instance, that unemployment, whether intentional or undesired, diminishes job prospects). And I believe society benefits because when people are taken out of the daily grind and have a bit of breathing space, they have more time for introspection, education, community service, and creativity, which might lead to greater happiness, new solutions to problems, and so on. Imagine if people could take a gap to pursue a degree, try to launch a start-up, travel, and more? Or just sit and watch TV, if they so desire, but I imagine most people would be so bored of that once they'd relaxed a little. Anyhow, there would be more opportunities for exploration and thus good ideas.
But breeders are too busy trying to grab as much as they can to see that this would not only be fair, it would also benefit them because their employment gaps would have less an impact on their employment opportunities!
But breeders are too busy trying to grab as much as they can to see that this would not only be fair, it would also benefit them because their employment gaps would have less an impact on their employment opportunities!
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 05, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,430 |
Or as I like to say: "if everyone is a pain in the ass, then no one is a pain in the ass."
I was just shocked that I was like... IT WOULD LITERALLY END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE and it was still not good JUST because someone else could have it. My thing is, pick your fucking poison. You want to travel and do shit, then travel and do shit. If you want to have a kid then have a damned kid but don't bitch that I'm traveling because at the end of the day we are BOTH doing the shit we WANT TO DO. You can NEVER have your cake and eat it too in life, why would this be any different?
All that is in my mind is entitlement. Which, why am I not surprised?
I was just shocked that I was like... IT WOULD LITERALLY END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE and it was still not good JUST because someone else could have it. My thing is, pick your fucking poison. You want to travel and do shit, then travel and do shit. If you want to have a kid then have a damned kid but don't bitch that I'm traveling because at the end of the day we are BOTH doing the shit we WANT TO DO. You can NEVER have your cake and eat it too in life, why would this be any different?
All that is in my mind is entitlement. Which, why am I not surprised?
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 05, 2018 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
This is why I'm pro universal basic income. Universal basic income would provide a cushion for those who become unemployable due to the automation of 47% of all jobs that will be coming up. Of course, that can't happen considering that we have a Traitor for a president and corporate oligarchies in the senate and house.
+++++++++++++
Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 05, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 05, 2018 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,199 |
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Breeders are just afraid that the CF and UnChilded couples alike would actually take the time to enjoy themselves.
QFT!
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She straight up said that we wouldn't agree because there is no reason for a person to need leave other than taking care of a CHILD! WOW! Why do the people who raise children end up being the people who have the least fucking empathy!?
Cunts like this are the reason I had to go two levels above my boss to take LEAVE WITHOUT PAY, which is the law in the United States if you work for a large company, to take care of a parent with advanced cancer.
If she ever has an ill parent or spouse, she'll be the first to HR demanding leave and she'll act as if she's the only person in the world this has ever happened to. She'll demand every hour or moo-ternity leave plus anything else she's entitled to.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 05, 2018 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
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catharsist
I was just shocked that I was like... IT WOULD LITERALLY END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE and it was still not good JUST because someone else could have it.
The women who scream loudest about feminism and discrimination only want that equality if it makes them special. Giving everyone regardless of gender a set amount of time off to do whatever the hell they want with it - including breeding - invalidates what is a female-exclusive life choice and makes it less special.
And it's no surprise that breeders still think that no kids = no reason to take time off. Because, you know, childfree and childless people have NOTHING else to do besides go to work! There's no way they might have an appointment to go to, care for a sick loved one, want to go on vacation, want to have a long weekend, do a project at home, spend a few days with a spouse, or just sit on their asses and watch Netflix. Only breeders deserve time off, it seems.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 06, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,978 |
Not to mention that universal sabbaticals benefit breeders in not just giving them that mooternity leave they want, but also an option for the unforeseen. Mooternity leave only would cover actually having the fucking kid. Aren't they just special little assholes in thinking nothing will happen after that? What if that child develops cancer or gets run over?
Also, sometimes there is shit that happens that can't be planned for and you just really don't want to deal with the assholes at work while dealing with the issue at hand. Like an acrimonious divorce. There are so many benefits to a universal sabbatical, but breeders don't want that because then they're no longer special and can't demand the world bend for them.
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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock
"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin
"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.
"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment
"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion
Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan
Also, sometimes there is shit that happens that can't be planned for and you just really don't want to deal with the assholes at work while dealing with the issue at hand. Like an acrimonious divorce. There are so many benefits to a universal sabbatical, but breeders don't want that because then they're no longer special and can't demand the world bend for them.
------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock
"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin
"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.
"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment
"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion
Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 06, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
What about for an illness? Anyone can get sick and it is usually involuntary. Or recovering from surgery?
These things can happen to anyone, not just parents. And having to return to work after a surgery when mobility is severely limited can be very stressful.
Or what about a break-up after a long term relationship? Perhaps a week off would be very healing. Sometimes people have to move and make major life decisions upon a break up that require lots of time.
Or recovery from a local disaster such as a hurricane or forest fire? Parents aren't the only ones who need recovery time.
These things can happen to anyone, not just parents. And having to return to work after a surgery when mobility is severely limited can be very stressful.
Or what about a break-up after a long term relationship? Perhaps a week off would be very healing. Sometimes people have to move and make major life decisions upon a break up that require lots of time.
Or recovery from a local disaster such as a hurricane or forest fire? Parents aren't the only ones who need recovery time.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 06, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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Cambion
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catharsist
I was just shocked that I was like... IT WOULD LITERALLY END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE and it was still not good JUST because someone else could have it.
The women who scream loudest about feminism and discrimination only want that equality if it makes them special.
The unhappy ones do seem to be obsessed with being special, perhaps it is because they have found parenting to be thankless and not special and are demanding someone validate their worth. They were told how special it is to be a moo, TMIJITW, udder rubs, articles on moos, etc. Guess moos never noticed how tired and cranky 90% of more of moos are and how they always whine about not having any free time or personal space. They were fed a lie and bought it somewhere along the way despite all the evidence to the contrary and with the information age there is no excuse to not conduct free research.
I see it as the same issue lots of people attribute to the Millennials, they have been told they are special their entire lives and as adults many of them believe it and expect special treatment and not to have to make efforts. I guess some of them never questioned how so many kids their age could all be special at the same time? If everyone is special then no one is special. At least the Millennials can toughen up as adults and make something of themselves. And I recall hearing about the spoiled Generation X back when we were 20 somethings. Next will be Generation Z.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 06, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,231 |
When FIL died DH had just one free day, for the funeral, otherwise he barely managed to leave early few days so we can make the funeral arrangements. Here your parents and relatives are not considered family. Family is only when you have kids.
If you need to care for a sick parent for example you either give up your job or hire a nurse. There is no paid leave.
When i was supposed to have my surgery, mom had to fly across Europe to take care of me because DH couldn't take free time. Or he could but unpaid. I told my mom if it's too difficult for her to come, i can be a bit of drama queen so they can keep me in the hospital a bit longer. I was willing to pay for hospital stay and all.
If you have kids you can take up to three years paid maternity/parental leave.
If you need to care for a sick parent for example you either give up your job or hire a nurse. There is no paid leave.
When i was supposed to have my surgery, mom had to fly across Europe to take care of me because DH couldn't take free time. Or he could but unpaid. I told my mom if it's too difficult for her to come, i can be a bit of drama queen so they can keep me in the hospital a bit longer. I was willing to pay for hospital stay and all.
If you have kids you can take up to three years paid maternity/parental leave.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 06, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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blackpearl
If you have kids you can take up to three years paid maternity/parental leave.
Per kid, I assume. That's fucking insane. Three years out of the workplace is bound to have an effect on your skills.
And yet...they still aren't succeeding in encouraging people to breed at the rate they would like, which I consider a small victory.
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paragon schnitzophonic
There are so many benefits to a universal sabbatical, but breeders don't want that because then they're no longer special and can't demand the world bend for them.
Another thing breeders never seem to consider: who is picking up the slack while they're out of the office? Mostly, it's an army of temp workers - one increasing problem in my country is the proportion of temp jobs compared to regular jobs. And do those temp workers get the same parental leave benefits? Of course not, because they aren't permanently employed.
This creates a two-tier society, with one part in permanent positions and free to take long parental leave, and the other struggling for any kind of security at all. This is unfair, and in my opinion quite opposed to the values most European countries claim to have. And it is yet another problem that would be resolved by universal sabbaticals financed independently of employers.
If nothing else, this is absolute proof that breeders are all "I got mine, fuck you." Otherwise they'd at least be concerned about parental leave for temp workers.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 06, 2018 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
"They want to have their baby and eat it too...'
that might just happen...
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
that might just happen...
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 06, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,430 |
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 07, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,430 |
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 07, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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catharsist
STOP THE PRESSES!
The friend in this scenario came to me and completely apologized for everything.
I am shocked and absolutely pleased. THAT's how to be a good friend!
This is great to hear. Maybe you caught her off-guard and she originally gave you the typical response.
Happy she thought it through and is being respectful of you as a friend.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 07, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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catharsist
STOP THE PRESSES!
The friend in this scenario came to me and completely apologized for everything.
I am shocked and absolutely pleased. THAT's how to be a good friend!
Has she thought it over? Can she articulate the argument in favor of it? Can she explain why she responded in such a prejudiced way?
I mean...great that she realized she was being a jerk, but I want to know why she was a jerk.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 07, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
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yurble
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blackpearl
If you have kids you can take up to three years paid maternity/parental leave.
Per kid, I assume. That's fucking insane. Three years out of the workplace is bound to have an effect on your skills.
So imagine if you have 3 kids, one soon after the other. You could get 9 years PAID for sitting home on your ass playing SHAMoo.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 07, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,231 |
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Peace
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yurble
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blackpearl
If you have kids you can take up to three years paid maternity/parental leave.
Per kid, I assume. That's fucking insane. Three years out of the workplace is bound to have an effect on your skills.
So imagine if you have 3 kids, one soon after the other. You could get 9 years PAID for sitting home on your ass playing SHAMoo.
Yes, you are right. That's how things are here. Plus you get free time if you want to take care of your sick kid and paid time if you still want to be with your kid at home until they start school.
And now they are talking to consider all the time you spend at check-ups while pregnant as work time and get paid for it.
Hint: Take a wild guess how willing are employers to hire women of calving age.
Edit: I just checked, pregnant women are allowed to go to check-ups during work time and they get paid for it. Just like sick people.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 07, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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blackpearl
Hint: Take a wild guess how willing are employers to hire women of calving age.
Wow, that sounds like a great effort toward the cause of female equality.
I guess the people who think of these ideas don't care about that, either because they never think of it or they really want women home, not in the workplace, to begin with.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 07, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,430 |
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yurble
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catharsist
STOP THE PRESSES!
The friend in this scenario came to me and completely apologized for everything.
I am shocked and absolutely pleased. THAT's how to be a good friend!
Has she thought it over? Can she articulate the argument in favor of it? Can she explain why she responded in such a prejudiced way?
I mean...great that she realized she was being a jerk, but I want to know why she was a jerk.
Surprisingly, she did! She explained that she really wasn't thinking about the fact that people without kids really DO deserve time with their families and that just because they aren't kids doesn't make those relationships any less important. She ACTUALLY called what she did selfish and was appalled at her reaction after she gave it a think over the day I was off. She said that her having a kid makes it really difficult to see outside of her situation and that it makes your world "small" especially if one has a special needs child (he has mild aspergers, but he is the sweetest thing. He says some off-the-wall shit and I find it hilarious and endearing tbh). I acknowledged that it's true that parenting is difficult and leaned to understand her too. I'm not one to hold a grudge.
She pretty much expressed complete sadness that she was "an insensitive jerk". She also changed her mind about the whole thing and realized that it really would be beneficial to everyone, including people with kids. The best thing though is that we started discussing how the world views people without kids and she was shocked that people would view us as not being able to love and not being tired and all these things. She was like "I had NO idea that was a thing and that is bullshit." She also pushed me to get married to my wife (we aren't legally married) for the benefits because she thought about the fact that we don't get a lot of social help as people without kids. Pretty much she pulled a 180 and started advocating! And naturally I reciprocate! It's great having GOOD FRIENDS.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 08, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 08, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,430 |
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yurble
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catharsist
She said that her having a kid makes it really difficult to see outside of her situation and that it makes your world "small" especially if one has a special needs child.
And that is why parents of disabled children should not be running the world...
Shit, they aren't running the world, they're barely running their households tbh. I know that there are a lot of parents that have high offices in the world but many of them don't have special needs. I'm just speculating though so don't quote me. Lol!
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 20, 2018 | Registered: 5 years ago Posts: 132 |
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yurble
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catharsist
She said that her having a kid makes it really difficult to see outside of her situation and that it makes your world "small" especially if one has a special needs child.
And that is why parents of disabled children should not be running the world...
I've met a few parents with severe health issues, both physical and mental, to the point they claim they need government disability to survive, who had kids that SURPISE! have the exact same health issues, and need the exact same government assistance.
Not to sound heartless - because I do believe in helping people who need help. But most of these parents who whine about not getting enough funding, claim they aren't able enough to provide for themselves...yet, they ARE able enough to complain on social media for 8 or more hours a day. And again....I'm not trying to sound heartless, I believe in assisting them with SOME of their bills. But some of them have the attitude of "its my right never to work, and have all my bills paid for by others forever, and have as many kids as i want, and have all their bills paid for forever, and no able bodied people should ever complain, otherwise they're HItler"
I'm not saying they should be forced to get in cars and drive to sweatshops or manual labor camps, by any means. But there are more jobs than EVER before in history that can be done from the comfort of your own home on a computer or cell phone, in your underwear. I say If you have the ability to gripe on social media for 40 hours a week about how you and your spawn aren't getting enough assistance...you have the ability to get a stay at home job that helps someone else or a business and pays some taxes.
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Re: The Complete Lack of Empathy August 20, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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childfreeadvocate
I'm not saying they should be forced to get in cars and drive to sweatshops or manual labor camps, by any means. But there are more jobs than EVER before in history that can be done from the comfort of your own home on a computer or cell phone, in your underwear. I say If you have the ability to gripe on social media for 40 hours a week about how you and your spawn aren't getting enough assistance...you have the ability to get a stay at home job that helps someone else or a business and pays some taxes.
I would say that if you are too disabled to hold a job, you're too disabled to raise a child from infancy, and too disabled to go through the rigors of pregnancy and childbirth. These things are physically as well as emotionally demanding. I do not accept that there is a disability which leaves you unable to work a desk job, but fit enough to have children. If the situation isn't deliberate, for instance if someone becomes disabled after they already have children, I look at it differently than if they are just being irresponsible, in terms of assistance. I just don't see why anyone with a genuine disability would take steps to make their life more difficult.
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