Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Within it are a series of long, concrete plinths, with small grey houses resting on them - these are "spirit houses", and each one commemorates a lost child. There are about 400 houses in the garden, with space for up to 3,000.
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These are made of refined concrete. They also have a small womb symbol inscribed inside, a motif repeated throughout the design of the garden.
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Families can customise their houses with their own designs, or leave them bare, with just a named inscription.
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Debbie likes to visit the Little Spirits Garden with her daughter.
She too had her expectations dashed, Debbie says, when waiting for a brother or sister who never arrived.
Now eight years old, she has been accompanying Debbie to the garden since the age of three.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,364 |
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 4,092 |
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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kittehpeoples
If what these people are experiencing really is grief, how can they possibly expect to heal when they're obsessing over it every few weeks? That woman named six different occasions (what, not Christmas??) when she goes to this place and "connects" with these children that never existed...seriously, that's every other month. That cannot be healthy.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 344 |
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yurble
I calculate it as even more than that: holidays x4 (one of them Valentine's day, which is normally not about babies).
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,979 |
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
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LoveToLurk
When it comes to these women who have healthy children, yet still obsess over their lost clumps, I wonder if it’s not about her preferring the idealized non-existent child to the imperfect actual child. Children are people, and people often are disappointing. Perhaps she thinks her child is not as smart as she wants, or as cute as she wants, or just doesn’t have the personality that she wants it to have, so she obsesses about the perfect child that lives in her mind.
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What do you do with the remains of a child lost during pregnancy? How do you honour their memory?
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"They are too young for a funeral, but too old to ignore they existed. We didn't know where to place Victoria, so we just left her in the hospital. She was actually referred to as 'biowaste'. It broke my heart in pieces."
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,364 |
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yurble
I calculate it as even more than that: holidays x4 (one of them Valentine's day, which is normally not about babies), "birthday" x9, day of miscarriage x9. Of course there might be some overlap, but she's going there twice a month, on average.
That would be a lot and get in the way of moving on if it was someone you'd known and loved for a lifetime, like a parent. In the case of a fetus that was never born and therefore had no opportunity to display a personality, she's projecting her own fantasies, and dragging her living children into it. I agree, it does not sound healthy in the least.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 13, 2019 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,364 |
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Cambion
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"They are too young for a funeral, but too old to ignore they existed. We didn't know where to place Victoria, so we just left her in the hospital. She was actually referred to as 'biowaste'. It broke my heart in pieces."
But they didn't exist, and there's no such thing as too young for a funeral because there are infant caskets. If it can't be buried or cremated, it's not a person.
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Cambion
I love how this woman says her husband needs to connect with the clumps. He looks bored out of his skull in that photo.
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What do you do with the remains of a child lost during pregnancy? How do you honour their memory?
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 14, 2019 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Cambion
I love how this woman says her husband needs to connect with the clumps. He looks bored out of his skull in that photo.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 14, 2019 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 14, 2019 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
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kittehpeoples
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Cambion
What do you do with the remains of a child lost during pregnancy? How do you honour their memory?
Flush twice?
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yurble
You mean how he's not facing the camera, and isn't mentioned by name (unlike the clumps), but is just "Debbie's husband"? To me he looks like someone who doesn't want to be associated with this insanity. Boredom would probably be a relief by comparison.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 14, 2019 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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Quote from article
About 3,000 Canadian women experience stillbirth every year and it's reckoned that 15-20% of pregnancies result in miscarriage - but to suffer nine in a rowis exceptionalproves what a delusional bint this woman is.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 15, 2019 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
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yurble
Link
In Victoria, British Columbia, a garden to commemorate miscarriages called Little Spirits Garden has been set up:Quote
Within it are a series of long, concrete plinths, with small grey houses resting on them - these are "spirit houses", and each one commemorates a lost child. There are about 400 houses in the garden, with space for up to 3,000.
...
These are made of refined concrete. They also have a small womb symbol inscribed inside, a motif repeated throughout the design of the garden.
...
Families can customise their houses with their own designs, or leave them bare, with just a named inscription.
And of course people like to act as if it is normal to make it the focus of your life. Debbie, who has had nine miscarriages: "I go on their birthdays - their due dates - and the days that they passed. I go there for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, Valentine's Day. My husband and I need to connect with the children we would have otherwise celebrated with."
She has a daughter and a 'rainbow' son (from a donor egg), who she likes to bring along, because there's nothing like making a child feel the weight of a bunch of dead parental hopesQuote
Debbie likes to visit the Little Spirits Garden with her daughter.
She too had her expectations dashed, Debbie says, when waiting for a brother or sister who never arrived.
Now eight years old, she has been accompanying Debbie to the garden since the age of three.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 15, 2019 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,364 |
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freya
It is no different than those asshole parents who treat the living kid(s) like crap and always refer to some golden child sibling who died at a younger age and how perfect that sibling was. Same projecting of perfection crap.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 15, 2019 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 15, 2019 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
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freya
Luckily this garden is limited to 3,000 of these things. Can you imagine the stupidity otherwise, with some wanna-moos having 3-5 miscarriages and insisting they be grieved and visited by relatives on a regular basis?
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 16, 2019 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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Cambion
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yurble
You mean how he's not facing the camera, and isn't mentioned by name (unlike the clumps), but is just "Debbie's husband"? To me he looks like someone who doesn't want to be associated with this insanity. Boredom would probably be a relief by comparison.
I do get that a lot of the times, men aren't nearly as upset over miscarriages as women, even when they actually want the kid too. But yeah, this guy was most likely guilted into this shit and probably wishes he was getting a prostate exam or cleaning dog shit or literally anything else other than being there staring at rocks ten times a year for dog knows how many hours it takes Moo to catch her fetuses up on everything.
Dude's probably henpecked and just knows his place in the domestic hierarchy: down at the very bottom, below Moo, the kids and the almost-kids.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 16, 2019 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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Cambion
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freya
Luckily this garden is limited to 3,000 of these things. Can you imagine the stupidity otherwise, with some wanna-moos having 3-5 miscarriages and insisting they be grieved and visited by relatives on a regular basis?
Give it time. The garden will eventually fill up and Moos will be screaming about how there's no room for their angel clumps and to either open a new garden, expand the existing one, or get rid of other people's clump rocks because whoever wants to add their miscarriage to the overstuffed fetus patch is more deserving of space than whoever laid their claims first.
This garden is really doing nothing but fostering unhealthy coping mechanisms. Nobody should be grieving the loss of a person who never even existed as though they actually did. They ought to offer therapy for visitors because if you're coming in once a month or so to visit each of your ten miscarriages' graves, you should really get some help.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 16, 2019 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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kittehpeoples
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freya
It is no different than those asshole parents who treat the living kid(s) like crap and always refer to some golden child sibling who died at a younger age and how perfect that sibling was. Same projecting of perfection crap.
I've often wondered about the "surviving" (i.e., actually existing) children...they're taught from such an early age to act like they have a sibling to mourn, when they really don't have a concept of death or mourning yet...and you know they're going to feel like they live in that sibling's shadow. That dead kid is absolutely perfect in the moo's eyes, and a real child can never be. What an awful way to grow up.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 16, 2019 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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Delusional landscape architects from article
The garden was designed by Canadian landscape architects Bill Pechet and Joseph Daly. The inspiration came from Bill Pechet's time in Japan, where he lived for two years. While there he was struck by a Buddhist tradition known as Jizo - the practice of creating a small, votive statue to mark the death of a child.
Re: Little Spirits Garden for angel clumps July 16, 2019 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
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