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Loss of identity

Posted by Cambion 
Loss of identity
July 28, 2022
Ran into some relatives at a fireworks display earlier in the month, one of them being one of my aunts along with her husband. As it got later in the night, my aunt's husband said to her, "What do you think, Mom? Should we head home?"

I'd like to point out that their kid is not only grown, but is moved out of the house, so it was just them. I know some people will refer to one another as "Mom" or "Dad" in front of their kids, but their kid is nowhere near them now.

But even when these two are empty nesters, all she is is "Mom" now. Imagine your own spouse referring to you as Mom instead of by your name or nickname or by a pet name like "babe" or "love." There is no more you, there is only Mom. But I know this isn't exactly uncommon either. Many, many Moos will gripe about their total loss of identity because everyone only sees them as mommies once they breed.

I bet this especially feels shitty because I'm pretty sure this particular aunt was CF until she got unexpectedly knocked up, but kept it because Jesus.
Re: Loss of identity
July 29, 2022
My mom's godparents called each other Mami and Papi. Even Mom thought it was fucking creepy.
Re: Loss of identity
July 29, 2022
I agree with you. That's really sad, Cambion.
Re: Loss of identity
August 02, 2022
How long ago did the kid leave? I'm sure we've all made the mistake of putting the previous year on our January dates.
Re: Loss of identity
August 02, 2022
The kid (who is 23 now, I think?) just got moved out at the beginning of July, like my aunt and her husband just got back from moving the kid into their new apartment right before the fireworks display. So maybe they just didn't adjust to being empty nesters on the way back home and were still in mom/dad mode or something.

But still, why refer to your partner as "Mom" or "Dad" when you're talking right to them? They have a goddamn name! Most couples come up with pet names for one another too, that's an option because it's a term of endearment. I have never heard my aunt call her husband "Dad" before, she always calls him by his first name. I guess he deserves an identity, but she doesn't?

I don't know, just strikes me as weird, I guess. Do they call their kid "Daughter?" I doubt it.
Re: Loss of identity
August 04, 2022
Quote
Cambion
The kid (who is 23 now, I think?) just got moved out at the beginning of July, like my aunt and her husband just got back from moving the kid into their new apartment right before the fireworks display. So maybe they just didn't adjust to being empty nesters on the way back home and were still in mom/dad mode or something.

But still, why refer to your partner as "Mom" or "Dad" when you're talking right to them? They have a goddamn name! Most couples come up with pet names for one another too, that's an option because it's a term of endearment. I have never heard my aunt call her husband "Dad" before, she always calls him by his first name. I guess he deserves an identity, but she doesn't?

Some parents refer to their partner that way to set an example for the kids and the habit sticks. If younger kids hear the parents using the actual names, they'll copy it instead of saying Mom or Dad.

That being said, your loss of identity description seems more accurate because your aunt calls her husband by his first name. I feel bad for your aunt.
Re: Loss of identity
August 04, 2022
Quote
misskitty
Some parents refer to their partner that way to set an example for the kids and the habit sticks. If younger kids hear the parents using the actual names, they'll copy it instead of saying Mom or Dad.

That's very true. I know when I was very young, I called my mother by her first name rather than "Mom" because nobody taught me that you call your mother "Mom." I wasn't around kids my own age until I went to kindergarten, so I had no idea and just called her what everyone else called her.
Re: Loss of identity
August 06, 2022
my egg donor went through a phase of trying to get me to call her mother. I refused because by that time she was bitchmouth. mom was all she would get. lucky I did not get a 3 hour bitchmouth lecture on that.

she did calm down in her elder years but after a while I just called her ethel

two cents ΒΆΒΆ

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
Re: Loss of identity
August 07, 2022 10:34PM
Quote
Cambion
Quote
misskitty
Some parents refer to their partner that way to set an example for the kids and the habit sticks. If younger kids hear the parents using the actual names, they'll copy it instead of saying Mom or Dad.

That's very true. I know when I was very young, I called my mother by her first name rather than "Mom" because nobody taught me that you call your mother "Mom." I wasn't around kids my own age until I went to kindergarten, so I had no idea and just called her what everyone else called her.

For some reason I find this amusing, even though it wasn't intentional.
Re: Loss of identity
August 07, 2022 10:35PM
Bitchmouth doesn't sound like a peach at all. Ethel may be the best option!
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