Just wanted to put this here so we are aware there is a CF YouTuber, putting the good word out there for us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9g3QskSikI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spYAztcOhLc
She goes on the I regret having children FB page, and goes thru all the kids-are-a-joy scams, and how there are different types of "hard" in life but other types of "hard" are actually more rewarding than moohood. Having kids=terrible lives.
I know we contradict ourselves on here, we didnt want the grunt work of Parunthood and it was too difficult for us and we knew it, decided against it rather that do it and then whine and complain, but we also claim it is not hard....and it isnt, its time-consuming, tedious, etc., but not technically hard day to day (kinda like housework/maintenance--not hard, but it keeps ya busy), and we give parunthood more thought they they do and how to do it right vs the lazy or illogical ways. It seems hard bcuz you just dont want to do it, as much as you LUV your kids to death. But gosh the stories on this YT, they are more heart-breakingly sad with each passing word. Gawd, we really all dodged a bullet on this page. Cheers to us!
Then a random CF schadenfreude moment I had this week...everytime I go out w/ a parunt, I have one, even tho many pals' kids are way into adulthood now. My male friend was lamenting how his GF babysits her grandson ONCE A MONTH (she is not lamenting this, she likely is happy to do so once a month to spend some time w/ the kid), and this babysitting goes on becuz her adult son and wife play dungeons and dragons with their friends over. He thought this was just soooo ridiculous. Hey, I think it's a bit ridic from my POV, but I did stick up for them...I said would it make you feel any different about it if they went to dinner and a movie/play, something like that? It is something they enjoy doing, once in awhile just like a date nite out on the town. At this point, IDK it was only once a month, how he was going on about it I thought it was much more often. Anyway, when I asked what was the big deal, he said, with some venom, "Hey, I had kids and I had to Suck. It. Up!" I starting chuckling, and tried to muster up the kindest way to say to him....I touched him on the shoulder and said "As a CF person, I thank you for letting me know the truth, that having kids isn't some overwhelming joy Ive been missing, and just something that people have to "Suck Up". I'm glad to know it." I think he realized what he said when I said this, but he actually did not walk it back like I expected. He went on to say "I couldnt go out and do stuff I wanted when the kids were little" He says this w/ so much angst and his youngest is 30 now. And, he resents a parent having one nite a month to themselves. My goodness. I have had to give up luxury vacations becuz my dogs have gotten deathly ill (and ended up dying later from it) and I never felt I was 'sucking it up' to the point that I would discuss it w/ venom 20 yrs later. Maybe it goes to show they don't luv their kids but just feel obligation, and nothing more.