WHY does it always have to be a "miscarriage"??? ( Another hysterical miscarriage-period story from a moomie wannabe forum)

Haha, i love this forum. I've been wanting to say what you said there for so long but people are so bloody precious about miscarriage and seem to encourage women to be hysterical about it. Even if it WAS a miscarriage, so bloody what?! Women have them all the time they're a normal part of nature and 30 years ago you wouldn't have even known you were pregnant. How can you grieve for a ball of cells? This might sound heartless but i lost an actual real live baby who I'd taken home and looked after to cot death and yes it wasn't nice but i dealt with it and i didn't make any thing like as much fuss as these mad cows make about losing a two week old pregnancies. GET OVER IT AND GET OVER YOURSELF FOR FUCKS SAKE.

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Purplehearts
Haha, i love this forum. I've been wanting to say what you said there for so long but people are so bloody precious about miscarriage and seem to encourage women to be hysterical about it. Even if it WAS a miscarriage, so bloody what?! Women have them all the time they're a normal part of nature and 30 years ago you wouldn't have even known you were pregnant. How can you grieve for a ball of cells? This might sound heartless but i lost an actual real live baby who I'd taken home and looked after to cot death and yes it wasn't nice but i dealt with it and i didn't make any thing like as much fuss as these mad cows make about losing a two week old pregnancies. GET OVER IT AND GET OVER YOURSELF FOR FUCKS SAKE.

This post demonstrates my "Moo Hierarchy of Kid Loss" scale I have posted in the past. This is the one where moos subconsciously place value on the life of and the length of time and severity of allowable mourning and attention, based on the following:

Kid death hierarchy, in order of importance, according to the MOO-brigade among the "Mommy Wars" soldiers:
1)Ages 12 and under- healthy-died of accident
2)Ages 12 and under- unhealthy-died of disease
3)Healthy live birth- died a short time later
4)Unhealthy live birth-died a short time later
5)Full term stillbirth
6)3rd trimester miscarriage
7)2nd trimester miscarriage
8)1st trimester miscarriage


As a rule, bio trumps adopted, adopted trumps step, and step trumps foster. Boy trumps girl and white trumps non Caucasian. Accidental trumps disease and stranger abduction and subsequent death trumps death by family member, as far as the sympathy and attention scale goes. Pregnant daughter trumps son and childed adult children trump unchilded adult children. These aren't my rules.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

It sounds like a card game when you describe it that way, Kim. I'm sure there's a drinking game in their somewhere...and with any luck, the game, if correctly played, would induce miscarriages.

she felt a 'flutter in her belly?" no, she didn't - at that stage the zygote is barely pea-sized. another brain-washed idiot just wanting attention, which i think is the main reason most women get pregnant anyway.

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L'enfer, c'est les autres.

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myrna minkoff
she felt a 'flutter in her belly?" no, she didn't - at that stage the zygote is barely pea-sized. another brain-washed idiot just wanting attention, which i think is the main reason most women get pregnant anyway.

larious


I get "flutters" in my belly all the time and it's usually because I need to take a dump or have gas. They also amaze me with all of this, "I feel it kicking!" bullshit when they are only 3 months along! On smothering.commune today I was reading about a bunch of moo hopefuls who were discussing how at between 8 and 12 weeks gestation they are already wearing mooternity clothes. If they NEED mooternity clothes at this point it's pathetic and if they don't, then that's even MORE pathetic.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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purple hearts
sorry but that's not fair. Firstly i don't have children. I had a son who died but now I'm choosing to be cf so I'm not a 'moo'. Second, i don't think there is any hierarchies when it comes to grieving nor do i think someone should only be 'allowed' to mourn for a certain length of time. However I don't consider early miscarriage to be a bereavement. It's not even comparable. The loss women experience is the loss of their dream of a baby not the loss of an actual baby. When it comes to actual real bereavements, of course i don't think like that. Although you're right that some women do it's been my experience that lots of them are so eager to have their over reaction to a normal biological process validated, that far from thinking in a hierarchical way they actually treat the loss of a zygot as being the same as a bereavement.

You are proving my point. The death of a live baby is higher up on the scale than a miscarriage of a baby not yet born. Also, you are saying that a 2nd or 3rd trimester miscarriage is worse than a 1st trimester one when it's still considered a zygote. By your own admission, miscarriages aren't cause for actual bereavement and don't compare to the loss of an actual child. MANY women would disagree with you and be angered by that mindset, hence:My scale. ONLY women who have ever had children, alive or deceased, judge what should be considered bereavement worthy and what shouldn't when it comes to this topic.

You may not be a moo, but you ARE the mother of a deceased child and don't belong on a childFREE site, IMHO. Why would you even WANT to be on a childfree site when you have had a child and it died is BEYOND me. You aren't childFREE, you are childLESS due to the death of your child.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Fair point. Guess I was getting pissed off with being told 'i know JUST how you feel' by women who were pregnant for a week. I felt like having a rant but you are right, this is not the most appropriate place. It's just as you say a lot of people would be angered by my views and i wanted to vent them somewhere that nobody would be offended by them. I'm still not sure I proved your point- maybe i do see later miscarriages as worse than early ones. But i don't think any of them come into the category of kid loss. When it comes to actual bereavement i don't think one type is any better or worse than another. As you say- it's entirely an individual thing. Maybe I'm being unfair but I do get wound up when women turn themselves into martyrs or victims based on minor things like in the post quoted above. I'm not a regular here and don't plan on becoming one but just because i used to be a mother it doesn't mean i don't get sick of the utter ridiculousness and hysteria that the parenting boards are filled with. And i admit to getting a certain guilty pleasure out of seeing the taboos that prevent anyone from highlighting this ridiculousness broken. Just thought I'd explain why I'm here because, yes it probably does look a bit weird.

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Feh
...have unprotected sex several times, possibly over several months without getting pregnant.

Sometimes, it even takes years. As in, three years. That's right, wannamoos... THREE. YEARS.

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Purple hearts
Fair point. Guess I was getting pissed off with being told 'i know JUST how you feel' by women who were pregnant for a week. I felt like having a rant but you are right, this is not the most appropriate place. It's just as you say a lot of people would be angered by my views and i wanted to vent them somewhere that nobody would be offended by them. I'm still not sure I proved your point- maybe i do see later miscarriages as worse than early ones. But i don't think any of them come into the category of kid loss. When it comes to actual bereavement i don't think one type is any better or worse than another. As you say- it's entirely an individual thing. Maybe I'm being unfair but I do get wound up when women turn themselves into martyrs or victims based on minor things like in the post quoted above. I'm not a regular here and don't plan on becoming one but just because i used to be a mother it doesn't mean i don't get sick of the utter ridiculousness and hysteria that the parenting boards are filled with. And i admit to getting a certain guilty pleasure out of seeing the taboos that prevent anyone from highlighting this ridiculousness broken. Just thought I'd explain why I'm here because, yes it probably does look a bit weird.

As the mother of a deceased child, you are the PERFECT type to voice your opinion on a parenting board. Those boards are nothing but echo chambers that NEED the likes of yourself to help them get a grip and move on with their lives. Noone has to know it's you that is posting. Just tell them to STFU because they're being drama queens that have NO IDEA of what it is like to lose a living, sentient child, not just some clump of amino acids.

This board is NOT the place for you. Even though you don't have a living child, you still gave birth to a child you WOULD have raised had it lived.

Now, there was/is an ongoing discussion on another CF board in which a very vocal member was put into a position where she was basically forced to carry out a pregnancy and eventually gave birth, but gave the child up for adoption and has no contact with said child. That person, and I really feel for her, still maintains a CF perspective in ALL of her opinions.

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Purplehearts
Haha, i love this forum. I've been wanting to say what you said there for so long but people are so bloody precious about miscarriage and seem to encourage women to be hysterical about it. Even if it WAS a miscarriage, so bloody what?! Women have them all the time they're a normal part of nature and 30 years ago you wouldn't have even known you were pregnant. How can you grieve for a ball of cells? This might sound heartless but i lost an actual real live baby who I'd taken home and looked after to cot death and yes it wasn't nice but i dealt with it and i didn't make any thing like as much fuss as these mad cows make about losing a two week old pregnancies. GET OVER IT AND GET OVER YOURSELF FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Bad grammar? Check.
Misspellings? Check.
No paragraph breaks? Check.
Dead baby attention whoring? Check.

STS-MOO is ready for launch.

Countdown in 10...9....8....

It's quite possible for the parents or childless people to share the perspective that many CF people have on a variety of subjects. As you probably now realize, however, that doesn't make it acceptable for them to post on this board, which is strictly for childfree people. If you are looking for a mix of CF, childless, and parents who may share your opinions, try TCFL.

noodler: linky? That sounds like an interesting thread...I'm trying to picture how that could be possible.

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Pepper

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clematis
I'm really sick and tired of the doctor acting like he really knows my body more than I do - I felt pg before - sore breasts, bloating, I must also be very sensitive because I could feel in my belly a change a flutter before, now - nothing.

Erm, TMI alert: I have those symptoms, minus the imagined belly-flutter, every month.

Yeah, those sound like perfectly normal PRE-MENSTRUAL symptoms to me. And the fluttery stomach? Totally explained away by the fact that she THOUGHT she was pregnant, and was consciously (or sub-consciously) looking to feel something move in her tummy.

God, these women are beyond pathetic. It might actually be funny if it wasn't so sickening.

Or intestinal uproar. Which can also be an unfortunate premenstrual side effect.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

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fade_to_pale

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Feh
...have unprotected sex several times, possibly over several months without getting pregnant.

Sometimes, it even takes years. As in, three years. That's right, wannamoos... THREE. YEARS.

A girlfriend of mine went nine years. NINE. She was even told she could not conceive anymore. Guess what?

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."