Sherz, that sounds like the job from hell! But I have a lot of admiration and respect for the work that these shelters do.
These women who keep going back to their abusers are fools. They have all sorts of resources at their disposal, but they just gotta keep that MAY-UN! I understand the pschology, too...these guys will beat them down both physically and emotionally, and make them feel that they are worthless, and that no other man will ever want them.
Been there, done that, have the T-shirt. When I was much younger, I lived with an abusive a-hole for a time. One night, I'd had enough, and called a shelter. I snuck out and did it from a pay phone when he was passed out drunk...could not use the home phone because he cut the wires when I tried to call 911 while he was beating on me.
I stayed there until I could find a new place to live. I could not even trust any so-called *friends* because they were all wives/GF's of HIS friends, and tehy'd rat me out in a second. The shelter workers were the only ones I could trust.
But it didn't end there. I moved into an apartment, and he found out where it was (even though I had an unlisted, non-published phone #). He would park his car up the street and sit there and stalk me. The police would not do anything, because he was just sitting there, and this was way before any anti-stalking laws existed.
I moved to another apartment and got a new job (as he started stalking me outside of work, as well). But he managed to find out where both were, and it started again.
And he got sneakier. One day, he must have parked his car someplace where I couldn't see it, and he snuck up behind me as I was opening the door to the apartment, and forced his way in. He beat the sh*t out of me, and then cut my phone cord so I could not call for help. Finally, he left.
The next day, I was able to get a new phone cord, and I called a friend in another state. I told him what was happening, and that I desperately needed a place to stay NOW to get away from this a-hole. He agreed to help me out, so I quit my job, closed out my bank account, packed as much stuff as I could, and left. I told no one but this friend where I was going, not even my employer. I trusted no one else at this point. I knew that if thse a-hole got to me again, I might not be here today to type this.
It was hard, but I managed to make a new life, get my own place, a job and all, and the a-hole never found out what happened to me. He didn't know about this friend in another state, he was someone I went to school with and had kept in touch with. If A-hole had known that I was talking to a GUY friend on the phone (and even seeing him sometimes when he used to live near me), I'd have been LONG dead.
The A-hole used to tell me the usual crap, that I was ugly and worthless and no other man would ever want me. And I believed it for a time. But then I decided I'd rather be old, worthless, ugly, and alone, than dead.
Now I am happily married, have lots of nice cats and human friends. I have no idea what ever became of the A-hole, and I don't care, as long as he never bothers me again.
And that is why it really bothers me to see these dumb moos taking back their abusers time and again. I was not eligible for many of the bennies that they are, because of being CF, but I still managed to get myself out of hell. Basically all I got from the shelter was a safe place to stay, food to eat, newspapers to look at for apartments and jobs, and the use of a telephone to call about said apartments/jobs. Nobody paid for me to *get settled* in a new home. It was better than nothing, though, and I am still grateful for it. I never really expected anything more, certainly not as much as these moos get.
It is sad to see this money go down the toilet when they go back to the abusers.