The "nice guy" argument

Quote: Some fucked up people spouting weird shit about how women need to be protected/ nurturing/ told what their place is/ (insert patronizing, puritanical gender role here), and how "that damned feminist movement is ruining everything."

I know a guy like this. He thinks he's a nice guy, but he uses women for sex and dumps them almost immediately afterwards because he claims 'women are all psycho.' He also wants women to be tied to the kitchen, serving his needs for the rest of his life, while he gets to do whatever he wants.

He refers to strong, independent women as alpha males. That's right, ladies, we're all alpha males, according to this 'nice guy'. He's a real jackass IMO.

Post him to DDHG. Save some other poor woman the trouble.

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Navi8orgirl
I don't know ANY man who spends that kind of coin on a first date.

Some loaded professional sports team owner might, but he also won't miss any of it, either. Chances are, he won't write an article about it.

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Navi8orgirl
Crapplebees, a bar for a couple of beers, Starbucks for a couple of coffees. More if the date goes well, easy to bail if there is nothing there.

I think you can do all of the above at a place like this: Coffee, wine and beer Just talkin' from experience

And for some good coffee, they brew it good over here.

Techie, the uberrich guy is not writing/whining about how women don't come near him or friendzone him. He is beating beautiful women off with a stick.

And these places look awesome though neither is near me. Ground Control would be a perfect first date--drink and a snack. If the date is meh, you have an out. If it is good, grab dinner and hang.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

My favorite nice guy is the helper. They talk to you like you are uneducated about something then if you respond back with some knowledge, they are offended. I was writing to a guy that was a sort of friend about a legal issue and he had been through something similar. I did tell him where I was at and the complexities involved but he responded back as if I didn't know some basic things and went on to advise me about things that are kind of common knowledge. I responded that yes I agree with all he wrote, already did most of that, and added more details of my particular case. I guess he couldn't "help" me enough so he just never wrote back.

This has happened to me a number of times, even with a couple of good male friends. Eventually they get mad and ask if I think I'm perfect, and why am I so....."independent"? Ta daaaa, there it is. Thing is, I like having support from people, and input, but that is not enough. You have to break down and be ignorant, or weak or broken in a way they can Fix it for you. They want to find a problem where there isn't one.? That IS NOT nice.

In my experience, your typical "Nice Guy" wants a 22 year old supermodel and is absolutely vicious towards any woman who doesn't meet this ideal. It doesn't matter that he's a 34 year old neckbeard living at home, only a perfect 10 will do for him! At the same time, he'll complain bitterly if any woman has the most minimal standards for a man, i.e. makes over 10 bucks an hour, showers and shaves daily, has basic social skills, etc.

Just want to say I really like this thread. I'm new to the dating world, so it's nice to know what to look out for. The most I knew beforehand were the obvious red flags, like if a guy (or woman) verbally or physically abuses you in some way.

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"Be yourself, no matter what. Some will adore you, and some will hate everything about you, but who cares?

It's your life. Make the most out of it."

I am loving this thread as well. I had also never heard the term "neckbeard."

Maybe we should start a "bad date thread?" I'm not bitter but they are funny as hell.

I thought the same thing the other day; having read many of the Neckbeard Chronicles (comicals?) about how women reject them I wondered how many women these gems rejected for being too tall, too fat, too old, having/wanting kids, NOT having/wanting kids, wanting a woman with education/money/car/own place...yet they cannot bring the same to the table. They are 2s chasing 10s but getting all sorts of pissy pants over another 2 giving them the time of day. Then they use the "but it is biology to want the hottie." Which I always retorted that it was biology drawing the hotties to the guy with the Ferrari and the beach house, not you with your Gremlin/Pinto/Schwinn and the futon in mom's basement. Boy wanna see some head spinning a la Linda Blair?

Bad date thread would be much fun. Most of us, male and female, probably have enough to write a set of Brittanicas.

It bears repeating: Nice is not a character trait. It is a social engineering tactic. And you don't need to be an engineer to spot that trainwreck coming.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

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navi8orgirl
Techie, the uberrich guy is not writing/whining about how women don't come near him or friendzone him. He is beating beautiful women off with a stick.

I think it would be a very safe thing to say that our "nice guy" friend here is anything but rich. Nobody even with a half way decent income would be whining about $100 dinner - seriously. And all that non-sense about her taking the steak to her boyfriend - really? He makes it sound like she is homeless and he is working the soup kitchen - I don't buy it.

And the "nice guy" whining about the "friend zone"? What? It takes 2 people to be friends - I am not friends with anybody I do not want to be friends with, therefore, the other person cannot be friends with me if there is no reciprocation from me. What in the world is this dude talking about? I am a dude and I don't understand ANY of this "nice guy" logic. If this guy wants be get laid and she says no, he does not need to be her "friend". Why would he want to be friends with someone that he is supposedly mad at? There is no logic in any of this.

They complain about friend-zoning yet they pretend to be a friend. :bawl

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blondie
They complain about friend-zoning yet they pretend to be a friend. :bawl

Many in the "friend-zone" are an embarrassment to us, guys, in general. Many of these "friend-zoners" are "zoning" for "left overs", they are looking for a rebound moment to jump into. Screw that, no guy, who has his stuff together is going to wait in line for anybody.

For those guys who feel that they cannot "score", I have a suggestion: take a look at yourself - are you working the hardest that you can at what you do for living and are you getting proper reward for your efforts? Dating is much like employment - you have to be able to bring something to the table other than a victim attitude. How about a "nice guy" starts making some solid and consistent 6 digits? How about a "nice guy" starts making sound investments and has a few portfolios that are worth 7 digits each and bring 5 digit annual incomes from dividends? I guarantee "nice guy" would have had gathered his stuff together to have accomplished that - he will have zero problems getting dates. Because when one builds wealth from rags, they accept losses, failures and they learn how to take punches. Most of all, they don't let petty shit stop them from accomplishing their goals. To say that one woman is going to determine some guys dating future is simply ridiculous.

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ThoughtCatalog
Now my biggest issue is deciding which color Audi I’m going to buy.

I think mr "nice guy" has his priorities backwards. Our friend cannot drop a few hundred bucks on a few dates and he wants to buy an Audi? I suspect our friend is a little more broke than he would like to admit.

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Techie

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ThoughtCatalog
Now my biggest issue is deciding which color Audi I’m going to buy.

I think mr "nice guy" has his priorities backwards. Our friend cannot drop a few hundred bucks on a few dates and he wants to buy an Audi? I suspect our friend is a little more broke than he would like to admit.

Probably only leasing. Too desperate to use money as fishing bait...especially since he is a cheapskate.

(though I did go out on two dates with a wealthy attorney who refused to pay for my drink and ordered water so he could justify not paying for my martini--because apparently he thought my profile pic was a lie, I looked like Gisele IRL...and was disappointed when I looked just like my profile pic.)

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I used to know someone like that. He met all the criteria for a “nice guy.” He lived with his dad and tard brother. He preferred to spend hours on the computer instead of putting all that energy into finding a job, because he thought having a college diploma meant he was too good to do just any work. He complained about his weight but did nothing about it – wouldn’t quit his junk food diet. His excuse was his dad wouldn’t buy healthy food. I guess he thought he was too spayshal to do his own grocery shopping either.
Oh, and he was always the victim. Poor, put upon him was not to blame for anything. Nope, it was always someone else’s fault. He even got pissy at another friend of ours when she told him he should learn some independence. And let’s not forget his constant whining about how women didn’t respect him, even though he made it pretty clear he only wanted the young hot twentysomethings with big tits.
I lost touch with him. Last I heard he’d met some girl over the Internet and like two months after they met he moved her into his dad’s house. He claimed they had a perfectly perfect relationship and they never fought. Yeah right.
Don’t know what became of him. I hope to Jeebus his girlfriend didn’t sprog, seeing as he’d been in jail for molesting one of his foster siblings as a teen.

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Navi8orgirl
Though I did go out on two dates with a wealthy attorney who refused to pay for my drink and ordered water so he could justify not paying for my martini--because apparently he thought my profile pic was a lie, I looked like Gisele IRL...and was disappointed when I looked just like my profile pic.

Sometimes smartest people lack the most common sense. People rarely look the same as their picture does. Most modern cameras only photograph in 2D. That looks different from how people look in person. It may look like them, but it almost always looks different. Our eyes see in 3D, we see more angles. I personally think a good quality portrait painting can do a much better job than a simple photo camera. There is another proof to that. Have someone draw a nice portrait from an ordinary photo - results often end up where the person looks very little like they do IRL.

It is also a common knowledge that some people who look very good in photos may not look as good in person. I have also met people who look like a 9 or a 10 in person but in pictures there are a few notches lost. Camera cannot catch all angles that our eyes can. Again, some of the most intelligent people out there often miss the simplest of the things.

I cringe every time I hear the word "friendzone". Not only do Nice Guys think we owe them sex, they pretend to be our friends with the sole purpose of getting between our legs.

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mumofsixbirds
Quote: Some fucked up people spouting weird shit about how women need to be protected/ nurturing/ told what their place is/ (insert patronizing, puritanical gender role here), and how "that damned feminist movement is ruining everything."

I know a guy like this... He also wants women to be tied to the kitchen, serving his needs for the rest of his life, while he gets to do whatever he wants.

He refers to strong, independent women as alpha males. That's right, ladies, we're all alpha males, according to this 'nice guy'. He's a real jackass IMO.

A friend (sort of) of mine is dating someone similar. He constantly throws around quasi-lovey-dovey crap about "protecting his lady" and claims that stereotypical gender roles are based on science rather than societal needs from thousands of years ago, while wrapping the bullshit into a prettier "we complete each other, so it's all good" package. Also, women who dress in revealing clothes are asking for it, of course.

I don't have low self-esteem. That's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.
-Daria

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Techie

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ThoughtCatalog
Now my biggest issue is deciding which color Audi I’m going to buy.

I think mr "nice guy" has his priorities backwards. Our friend cannot drop a few hundred bucks on a few dates and he wants to buy an Audi? I suspect our friend is a little more broke than he would like to admit.

A little off-topic, but the biggest loser I ever dated owned a brand new Audi. This was almost 15 years ago. He still lived with Mommy "to save on rent" but thought he was hot shit because of his car.

ETA: "Friendzone" seems to be the new "cockblock" (not quite the same meaning, but now common in terms of frequency of usage)

LOL. Good one, Law.

That blonde woman in the picture, if I was a "nice guy", I am pretty sure I would not want her touching anything, them teeth of hers, they look like they may hurt. LOL

Law -

OK up thread I said my exH had a friend who was 'one of these guys'?

On your third pic there - the D'OH! guy focused on in that one - the guy I was talking about here / exH's 'good friend from child hood' - Looks exactly like this guy.

:eyebrows

Ok, I have got to drag this this subject back out because what has happened here is complete insanity. This bastard, and I am giving him too much credit, went on a killing spree. All along, he thought that he was the "NICE GUY" that no woman wanted to date or have sex with. This pisses me off to no end. Fuckers like this destroy our 2nd amendment rights. Fuckers like this, make us, men, look terrible. Elliot Rodger, I have no words for you. You are not a human being, you are not a man, you are an atrocious monster:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2638049/7-dead-drive-shooting-near-UC-Santa-Barbara.html

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DailyMail

The gunman who went on a drive-by shooting rampage in a student enclave that left seven people dead had posted a chilling video warning of 'retribution' because he was still a virgin aged 22.
Elliot Rodger, who was driving a black BMW, is believed to have acted alone in the shootings at about 9:30pm on Friday night in Isla Vista near the University of California, Santa Barbara.
Now, authorities are examining a video posted on social media by the shooter - called 'Elliot Rodger's Retribution' - in which he rants about women who supposedly rejected his advances.
The Santa Barbara City College student unleashes a tirade about his 'loneliness, rejection and unfulfilled desires', blaming women for preferring 'obnoxious brutes' to him, 'the supreme gentleman'.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2638049/7-dead-drive-shooting-near-UC-Santa-Barbara.html#ixzz32kYe4M8A
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

For those of you who have strong stomachs, please check out Elliot Roger's Google+ page:

https://plus.google.com/112420115103149734170/posts

I am so glad that NO woman ever dated or had sex with that creep. The last thing that we need is have some of his DNA running around.

The guys who call themselves "nice guys" are lost and confused. Instead of hating men who can get dates with no effort, these guys need to befriend such men. Men who are playas are not only willing to share their tricks, they rather volunteer them freely. If this dude went and hung out with a few playas, not only would he learn how it is done, he would learn how to be happier and not be such a loner.

There are comments on various blogs that nobody was willing to help the guy. Here is what I have noticed. "Nice guys", who cannot get dates, they refuse help if offered. I have seen a few posters, even on this site, I will not name them, who kept making remarks about how they cannot get a date no matter what. When I attempted to contact them and offered to teach them a few "tricks", they are too scared to take any advice or even respond to address their issues. Well, those who do not want help, cannot get help.

I have been reading about this incident, it fascinates me.

I was reading the comments on Info wars on this story - GAWD. Plenty of Feminazi blame. As well as guns, guns and more guns (in case you can't guess - they're PRO gun. VERY PRO GUN).

And then of course - it's all the fault of The Jews. Which control the media and invented Feminism. :crz
If Jews run the world why is Israel crappy? You'd think they'd fix it up like Dubai with all that money and power eyes2

This guy had racial self hate, also. He looks more Near East than Far East to me. Which includes plenty of good looking and desirable men. Idols, even. George Michael. Freddy Mercury. Omar Sharif. He kind of looks like George Michael. Should've just bleached his hair.

How crazy was this guy? He could've gotten plenty of women. Or guys.

He also reminds me of Luka Magnotta. What a sad missed connection this is! They could've cannibalized each other.

Interesting blurb I read elsewhere - will have to paraphrase - there are ideas, and some few psych studies, that the 'echo chamber' of some of these forums does have serious effects on people.

From what I heard on CNN this morning, somebody in this guy's family called the police after they saw his fucked up video. I don't know anything about his upbringing but 22 is well past being a child. The police apparently responded and felt that he responded appropriately and wasn't a threat to himself and others. I do find it disturbing that this nutter was able to go buy 3 handguns and 400 rounds of ammo legally. I don't know what the answer is, but as heartless as it sounds, I wish he would have just killed himself before hurting anybody.