"Our Parents Resented Us" May 15, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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And so, they lived happily ever after. Well, almost.
The trouble was, the mirror soon had to include the two of us. As a result, it didn't work quite as well. And my parents' absorption in each other kept David and me out of their gaze, out of focus.
...
My father himself records occasions when his competitive nature and his intense need to be with my mother – to have her whole attention – made him harsh to his son.
...
On one occasion, my father – on leave from the war, and determined to have my mother's undivided attention – shut his four-year-old son in his bedroom, where he became hysterical and distressed. It was my grandmother, not my mother, who released him. This is by my father's own account. I cannot claim to know about these events directly, but I did see other examples, as we grew up, times when I could see resentment in my father towards his son. And I could see my mother caught between them, much as later – with almost comic symmetry – I saw my father caught between my mother and me.
I arrived in July 1945, at the very end of the war – a round, white-haired baby, mostly happy but oddly prone to scream the place down at night, a prey to terror and boredom, a combination my father understood. My mother did not. She still talked to me in her 80s of her anger at these broken nights.
She told me several times that if I had been their first child they would not have had another – we were too tired, she said.
...
Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 15, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 15, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 8,402 |
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yurble
A daughter writes about how her parents were wrapped up in each other and the impact that had on the children.
Of course we are well aware that many parents have children and regret it, and that people should think a little more about it, but most of the stories we read are being told from the parent's point of view, as the children are still young. I found this interesting because it came from the child's perspective, as an adult.Quote
And so, they lived happily ever after. Well, almost.
The trouble was, the mirror soon had to include the two of us. As a result, it didn't work quite as well. And my parents' absorption in each other kept David and me out of their gaze, out of focus.
...
My father himself records occasions when his competitive nature and his intense need to be with my mother – to have her whole attention – made him harsh to his son.
...
On one occasion, my father – on leave from the war, and determined to have my mother's undivided attention – shut his four-year-old son in his bedroom, where he became hysterical and distressed. It was my grandmother, not my mother, who released him. This is by my father's own account. I cannot claim to know about these events directly, but I did see other examples, as we grew up, times when I could see resentment in my father towards his son. And I could see my mother caught between them, much as later – with almost comic symmetry – I saw my father caught between my mother and me.
I arrived in July 1945, at the very end of the war – a round, white-haired baby, mostly happy but oddly prone to scream the place down at night, a prey to terror and boredom, a combination my father understood. My mother did not. She still talked to me in her 80s of her anger at these broken nights.
She told me several times that if I had been their first child they would not have had another – we were too tired, she said.
...
It's too bad that her parents didn't think about it a bit more in advance, and not have children so that they could have the sort of relationship they preferred.
Their father may not have known what children were like in advance, but he sure figured it out later...he was the author of Lord of the Flies.
Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 15, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,035 |
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Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 15, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 8,402 |
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Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 15, 2011 |
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Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 15, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 5,716 |
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filthy mcnasty
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Lord of the Flies was inspired simply by a regretful man's living with some loudmouth brats? It's just a metaphor for the chaotic house of Lifescript horrors? I love it!
William Golding FTW!
Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 15, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,757 |
Quote
filthy mcnasty
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Lord of the Flies was inspired simply by a regretful man's living with some loudmouth brats? It's just a metaphor for the chaotic house of Lifescript horrors? I love it!
William Golding FTW!
Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 16, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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thom_c
There are three points in Lord of the Flies
!) Kids are assholes
2) Mankind i.e. nation states, in nature are much like children.
3) The kids in the end are saved by a military vessel - a submarine, who is going to save mankind aka nation states from themselves?
Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 16, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 4,532 |
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Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 16, 2011 |
Re: "Our Parents Resented Us" May 16, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Cristabel
Keep in mind that contraception options were:
a) Abstinence
b) the Dutch Cap
c) Condoms that you washed and reused.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G9yyD4qrGg
People had kids because that's what unprotected sex will get you.