What is the worst part about being a parent?
Posted by Anonymous User
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Re: What is the worst part about being a parent? January 08, 2009 |
And, they are the only ones who get to complain for some reason.
This X-mas, 3 of my IL's stated/agreed with each other that they don't miss their brats' "little kyd years" (2 of them were men). I looked at my less militant DH and popped my eyes out
to silently say at the table "see, I told you we're not missing anything and parunts hate their kyds as much as I do and they keep it a secret, so don't have any fence-sitting moments." (he ignored me)
Then, when one BIL , more parent than breeder but did reproduce a tribe of 5 kids plus a few miscarriages, left the house, the other breeders were saying "oh, he has so many kyds running around that is why he goes on vacation so much" (which *is* like once a month). I was like, "but he created this, he should not leave it " (implying that it didn't have to be that way) and one breeder agreed. Then other BIL breeder says if I had 5 kids that is what I would do. I keep my mouth shut but while they were all initially breeding they were telling me I was missing JOY, but once again, all you hear is negativity. I call BULLSHIT.
Make sure you post the follow up article.:ds
This X-mas, 3 of my IL's stated/agreed with each other that they don't miss their brats' "little kyd years" (2 of them were men). I looked at my less militant DH and popped my eyes out
to silently say at the table "see, I told you we're not missing anything and parunts hate their kyds as much as I do and they keep it a secret, so don't have any fence-sitting moments." (he ignored me)Then, when one BIL , more parent than breeder but did reproduce a tribe of 5 kids plus a few miscarriages, left the house, the other breeders were saying "oh, he has so many kyds running around that is why he goes on vacation so much" (which *is* like once a month). I was like, "but he created this, he should not leave it " (implying that it didn't have to be that way) and one breeder agreed. Then other BIL breeder says if I had 5 kids that is what I would do. I keep my mouth shut but while they were all initially breeding they were telling me I was missing JOY, but once again, all you hear is negativity. I call BULLSHIT.
Make sure you post the follow up article.:ds
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Re: What is the worst part about being a parent? January 12, 2009 |
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Rose Red
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clematis
Update: there's a buncha comments posted now, at http://blogs.news.com.au/moneymum/index.php/news/comments/what/47102/P0/. Excerpts:
I love my kids (two of them). But if I could turn back time, I would tell myself that it’s just not worth it. It’s not worth the slashed income and rising expenses, the constant lack of sleep, the short tempers, the strain on the relationship, the inability to do something spontaneous, the lack of adult conversation and the sacrifice of the time I used to spend doing the things I love.
..........And so on.
This is a thing of beauty.
Or doing a terrible disservice to herself.
And perhaps even to the kids, who are probably aware that she's talking through her hat when she says she loves them anyway.
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Re: What is the worst part about being a parent? January 12, 2009 |
Why do they nearly always qualify everything negative that they say, like 80 or 100 "I wish I never had kyds" type comments with, "......but I LOVE LOVE LOVE them to pieces!!!!", or...."....but I wouldn't change it for anything in the worlllllddddd!!!!!!!!.", or"...now, I LOVE my kyds, don't get me wrong....but I wish that they had never been born". Do they think that by adding in the various disclaimers that their negative comment will somehow "not count"? It's quite the opposite with me whenever I am reading any parent comments. I scan the pages and hone in on the word "but", because I know that the actual truth will likely follow. Who are they trying to convince? Are they afraid that their ggggggg-grandkyds will stumble across their anonymous internet post in a time capsule? Are they trying to feel better about an uncorrectable mistake?
I can say with reasonable certainty that even if the physical devastation of pregnancy and childbirth was taken out of the equation, that the loss of personal freedom, and it IS great, and the pursuit of happiness being disrupted would be THE biggest deal breakers to me, among MANY MANY other reasons. Take the personal freedom/happiness pursuit out of the equation too, such as with some of these wealthy parents who can afford the nannies, THEN you have the guilt of responsibility for them to assume as in the rich kyd syndrome like, "You don't spend any time with me!, "YOU don't really love me!", Take the guilt of responsibilty out of the equation too, as in the case of the kyd who is just a naturally good person with some intellect, and you have society waiting to see IF ..." it was all worth it, in the end". Then there's the sudden and accidental deaths at age 19 or 20 of a promising young person and I wouldn't wish that pain on myself, or anyone else. There's always the chance too, and getting greater everyday, that they will wind up a criminal, on drugs, and otherwise a HUGE disappointment and embarassment that EVERYONE will blame on the parent, and usually rightfully so. NO THANKS.
If a parent (and kyd) survives all of THAT horror and turns out to be a contributing and responsible adult, the ONLY consolation is that after 30 years or so, the parent can sit back and say, " I must have done something right", and I don't happen to think that the "'prize" is worth all of the work and risks involved. It would be like "earning" a $2 "FIRST PLACE" ribbon after having been wrongly imprisoned for 30+ years. I don't see that as much of a "reward", sorry. However, according to parents, it's the BEST that they can hope for with their kyds. Most of the ones who do something superior, like become president, make scientific discoveries, jet to the moon, invent world changing things like the lightbulb, etc.......create the best art and music that holds up through the centuries, are done later in life and their parents were dead and gone before they ever even knew about it. Then the kyds get to say, "If only mama could see me now, she would be SO proud". "But and IF" seem to be staple words in the breeder vocabulary and I deal better with facts, figures, black and white, absolutes, and proven percentages, when it comes to taking pot shots in the dark, which is exactly what having kyds is, much like Russian Roulette.
I can say with reasonable certainty that even if the physical devastation of pregnancy and childbirth was taken out of the equation, that the loss of personal freedom, and it IS great, and the pursuit of happiness being disrupted would be THE biggest deal breakers to me, among MANY MANY other reasons. Take the personal freedom/happiness pursuit out of the equation too, such as with some of these wealthy parents who can afford the nannies, THEN you have the guilt of responsibility for them to assume as in the rich kyd syndrome like, "You don't spend any time with me!, "YOU don't really love me!", Take the guilt of responsibilty out of the equation too, as in the case of the kyd who is just a naturally good person with some intellect, and you have society waiting to see IF ..." it was all worth it, in the end". Then there's the sudden and accidental deaths at age 19 or 20 of a promising young person and I wouldn't wish that pain on myself, or anyone else. There's always the chance too, and getting greater everyday, that they will wind up a criminal, on drugs, and otherwise a HUGE disappointment and embarassment that EVERYONE will blame on the parent, and usually rightfully so. NO THANKS.
If a parent (and kyd) survives all of THAT horror and turns out to be a contributing and responsible adult, the ONLY consolation is that after 30 years or so, the parent can sit back and say, " I must have done something right", and I don't happen to think that the "'prize" is worth all of the work and risks involved. It would be like "earning" a $2 "FIRST PLACE" ribbon after having been wrongly imprisoned for 30+ years. I don't see that as much of a "reward", sorry. However, according to parents, it's the BEST that they can hope for with their kyds. Most of the ones who do something superior, like become president, make scientific discoveries, jet to the moon, invent world changing things like the lightbulb, etc.......create the best art and music that holds up through the centuries, are done later in life and their parents were dead and gone before they ever even knew about it. Then the kyds get to say, "If only mama could see me now, she would be SO proud". "But and IF" seem to be staple words in the breeder vocabulary and I deal better with facts, figures, black and white, absolutes, and proven percentages, when it comes to taking pot shots in the dark, which is exactly what having kyds is, much like Russian Roulette.
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Re: What is the worst part about being a parent? January 16, 2009 |
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Rose Red
I actually thought of another, very superficial positive to being CF.
If you ever end up in the paper, your name will not be immediately followed by the number of children you have.
larious larious larioustwo cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
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