Let me say that Valentine's Day has never really meant a whole lot to me. It's just a day, after all.

Until this year. Yes, my BF is an empty nester, his kid is an asshole, and I have nothing to do with the douchebag. Absolutely nothing at all. He hates me, I don't give anything close to a shit about him. Period. I didn't even get the fuckwad an X-Mess card.


A bit of background... I met BF shortly after my divorce. I bought a house, he lived next door, and, would help me with heavy things, while I was remodeling (I'm disabled.). I told him right off the bat that I did not date men with kids. I didn't need the baggage. Meaning, his ex- wife and kid. Well, kiddo was already a legal adult, didn't interfere, left us alone. That was three years ago. Kiddo is out of the Military, back home, and making my life HELL!

I flat out refused to let the Asshole live here. It is MY HOUSE! He lives with his girlfriend's parents. They want his ass out. He refuses to get a job, go to school, learn to drive, etc. Y'all get it. His GF is flunking out of school, because he's awful to her if she tries to study. She's a good kid. Very polite. Oh, Kiddo is almost 22. Can't drive a car, doesn't want to learn to drive. He demands chauffeur service. I was cool with picking him up when he was serving. Not any more. He trashed my truck (SMOOV). Daddio couldn't care less. That thing cost me almost $40,000. They burned cigarette holes into my leather seats, brought it home empty($100 fill up), and left food all over the place. Yeah, I'm pissed. REALLY FUCKING PISSED!!!


Well, it gets worse. For V-Day, BF got me a salami, and a block of cheese. Who the fuck does he think I am!!! Shauna!!! The card he got me called me a loser.

Sonnyboy got $500 concert tickets. I got a salami.

Me thinks all hell is gonna break loose, tonight.

I'm not a greedy person. I didn't expect anything. Least of all an insult.

Note to anyone thinking of dating an empty nester- Don't. You'll never amount to shit unless the kid decides otherwise.

smack him with the salami. hard. and then dump him.

Ugh. I am so sorry you have had such a crappy day!

Sending you virtual flowers from your friends at Bratfree smile

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glynnis
I flat out refused to let the Asshole live here. It is MY HOUSE!

Is that actually an issue? Does BF live with you now?

As to the rest, it sounds like your BF has decided to be buddies with his son rather than a father who sets rules and enforces consequences. He has descended to his son's level of slobbishness and lack of regard for you.

Are you going to be surprised with what the majority of us will tell you?

Nope, not surprised at all. Just left this post as a warning to anyone who thinks that because the kiddies are gone... You're still fucked.

I was really angry when I made that post, oh, 10 minutes ago...

Fucker came home, and went to take a nap. Gee, he's gotta get his rest in. He's taking ASSHOLE to dinner tonight. Guess who made the plans? Guess who was uninvited once he notified GoldenDick? Yeah, me.

He looked in the trash, saw HIS BEER BOTTLES from last night, and said "oh, I guess you aren't going anywhere".

Nope, I guess not, since my truck is empty.

It's just been a bad day. I already ate the fucking salami. Yep, and I washed it down with one of his precious beers! I'm gonna have another, too!

I am so sorry. This is why I have a firm rule about not dating breeders. I'm even hesitant about those with nieces and nephews.

I hope either kicking him in the pants works in your favor, or you find the strength to tell him enough is enough and be done. Best wishes, and Happy Valentines day from us, your CF fellows-in-arms

Oh my lord. Anyone getting me a salami and cheese for Valentine's day had better put their bullet proof vest on. Anyone mistreating my car that way and driving all my gas out had best be in the next county over when I discover that shit or someone would get my foot broken off in their ass.

This means war, girlfriend. It is not just time to break up, it is time to set someone's shit on fire, and I'd start with dear douchebag boyfriend's shit. And then the son's. Be your own valentine and flush these two losers FOR EVAH and make them sorry they ever met you.

BTW, you deserve better.

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law1204
This means war, girlfriend. It is not just time to break up, it is time to set someone's shit on fire, and I'd start with dear douchebag boyfriend's shit. And then the son's. Be your own valentine and flush these two losers FOR EVAH and make them sorry they ever met you.

:yr

This is the kind of incident where I wish CF board members lived closer. There would be a 'Kick BF's Ass' party mob followed by 'Celebrate Glynnis' Liberation from Asshole' party

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law1204
BTW, you deserve better.

Yeah, ditto. The guy didn't know how good he had it. Just be prepared for a lot of "but-but-but wut did I do wronnng" blubbering.

as it says in south pacific 'show him what the door is for'

as for the salami.. 'where the moon don't shine' also comes to mind.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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Dorisan
:yr

This is the kind of incident where I wish CF board members lived closer. There would be a 'Kick BF's Ass' party mob followed by 'Celebrate Glynnis' Liberation from Asshole' party

That would be fucking awesome.

Guh, I hate the "What did I do wrong" bullshit. Don't even buy it. They know damned good and well how much they suck, because they're doing it on purpose. Crying about it later and pretending not to know is just deliberate crazymaking. Give this fucker the boot, hard, right up the tailpipe.

I hope you are not just venting and you are going to do something about this, because you are a victim of emotional abuse, at least. There is no reason for a CF woman to be in your situation and you've been through enough.

Cheese? He gave you cheese for Valentines Day? Why would a person do that? Maybe if it were carved into a cute heart shape....but cheese?

And he's taking his son out for a meal on Valentines Day? Either the date is a coincedence or they have a seriously weird relationship.

I think Daddy ought to pay for the damage to your truck & replace the petrol (then he can try & get his adultbrat to pay him back....some hope) then Daddy needs to take a long walk off a short pier. Put the rest of the cheese in a hidden place in his house/car so he can enjoy the 'fragrance' it releases as it goes off.

On the bright side, it makes me feel better about being single - at least I don't have to deal with cheese-toting loonies.

I don't date breeders. Breeders tend to have many characteristics that I don't care for. It is almost not about the brats....breeders tend to be lifescript worshippers, too lazy to use BC so they are too lazy to do a lot of stuff. I could go on and on. But you already know the deal. Don't date breeders. Even when the kids are grown, there's drama from the grandkids or just general breederific stupidity. It is so not worth it.

No no no to men with kids. I don't give a shit if they live with them or not. Not. On. Your. Life.
Fuck NOOOOOO.
One guy tried to hide his kid during the first part of our "relationship". As soon as I found out he was GONE.

Glynis - You very much deserve better then the horrid treatment you've been getting. Happy Lurrrrrrrrve Day to you and hope things start looking up

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blondie
I hope you are not just venting and you are going to do something about this, because you are a victim of emotional abuse, at least. There is no reason for a CF woman to be in your situation and you've been through enough.

+1

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blueorchid

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blondie
I hope you are not just venting and you are going to do something about this, because you are a victim of emotional abuse, at least. There is no reason for a CF woman to be in your situation and you've been through enough.

+1

Another +1

Glynnis:

Easy as it is for me to say this, I know this is a difficult choice. I think you would do best to kick his ass to the curb. A block of cheese and salami for V-day? I'm not that overly sentimental about V-day to start, but something he could grab at a grocery store is just plain pathetic and it tells you where you rank in the scheme of things.

And I will repeat my advice to anyone: NEVER. DATE. A. BREEDER. EVER!

Putting up with his crap is bad enough, but getting dumped on by his offspring is unacceptable.

Consider this our "Dump the Heap/Anti-V-Day" party. Beers in the fridge and pie's cooling on the counter.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

I would never date a breeder either because no matter what you do for them or what you say, you will NEVER be the most important person in their life. It will always be the kids - even the grown ones, even if they're complete douchebags. You will always be, at the very best, second-best. If there's more than one kid, you get knocked that much further down the importance ladder.

Geez, if the assbag was going to get you a gift, he could have at least TRIED. He'd have been better off not getting you anything at all. If he doesn't live with you, is there any reason to let him in the house or answer his calls? Does he have a key to let himself in with? Do you NEED him around for any reason? I'm sorry he treats you so shitty. I'd echo what everyone else has said, but I know it's often way easier said than done to get away from any sort of abuse. And I especially feel like I've no place saying this because I'm in a crappy living situation myself and can't get out of it yet either.

But we're all here for you.

Holy crap. Salami?
In what universe is that an appropriate gift for your spouse for a romantic holiday???
IF you're going to celebrate V day, at least do it right, FFS!
He truly sounds like a tool you'd be better off without, let him and his son ruin each other's shit and eat salami together, you can do SO much better!!!

Dump. His. Ass.

Actually, arrange for a change of locks when he's out. When he comes home, dump his ass. Tell him to pay for your truck and replace the petrol money, then he can have his shit back. And get a gun. Guns are great equalizers. Every small or disabled person should own one.

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

This guy might be mistreating you in part or whole as a passive aggressive punishment because you don't care about his goldenpenis son. He really got the loserboy $500 tickets and you got a salami? Both of them are laughing at you.

I like the crickets idea, the cave kind will infest a house if it's wet enough between the walls from leaky pipes. If I were you I'd find some nice aggressive bedbugs and give those to the son.

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Snark Shark
1) KICK THEM BOTH IN THE BALLS.

" Put the rest of the cheese in a hidden place in his house/car so he can enjoy the 'fragrance' it releases as it goes off."

2) sour milk smells WORSE.

3) CRICKETS are hard to get rid of once released in an enclosed space!

The only qualm I I have about crickets is they'd be killed. Crickets are more life-worthy creatures than scumbucket BF

Was this guy not-so-great before the son was back in the picture? I only ask because in your OP you didn't say "Everything was wonderful until..." or anything like that. Is this just an escalation of previous inconsiderate behavior?

I can't figure out if this guy is trying to get rid of you by mistreating you and prioritizing the son over you, or if he thinks this behavior is OK because he's used to a woman (his ex-wife) who expects to be put second. As we've talked about many times here, lots of people with kids think it's totally normal to be ignored or neglected in favor of a kid. In any case, the very least you have to do is have a "These things are going to change, now, or we're done" conversation with him. Or, as others have suggested, you could just jump straight to dumping him.

Finally, I would love a t-shirt that says "Breeders Make Bad Boyfriends."