Keeping secrets from lovers

K12144 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No need to talk about me as if I'm not around, nor
> to put words in my mouth.
>
> It just seems to me that abortion is one of the
> only times in life when one can be irresponsible,
> reap the consequences of those actions, and go to
> someone and have them instantly make it all better
> without one learning a damn thing. (unless one's
> rich and can bribe someone to let one out of a
> traffic ticket or bad grade or whatever) And yes,
> I'm sorry that pisses me off, but I'm tired of
> irresponsible people having their actions be okay.
> I don't think these irresponsible cuntfaces
> should be bringing kids into the world either,
> hence part of the reason I don't actually feel
> abortion should be illegal, but perhaps there
> should be some other consequence, like mandatory
> birth control to ensure that they don't keep doing
> the same damn thing over and over again.

So is going against your morals and fucking when the guy was "pestering" you. Perhaps, you would have had to face the consequences of 9 months of pregnancy and possibly feeling coerced to keep it if your contraception failed. You would have been at Motherhood buying your maternity clothing if your irresponsibility got you. Perhaps, the pro-life "CF" girls need to keep their own legs closed before judging those who abort. Live up to your "morality" and quit calling other women "sluts" as you also had sex. You could have been called that name, too. It is a little late for you to talk about responsibility to those babies when you felt "pushed" into sex. Please don't blame the guy for going along with it. Also, sealing those records don't always work so you could have a resentful adult showing up at your door claiming you snaked out of your responsibility by putting a baby up for adoption if you got knocked up and did not not want to be "responsible" as you should by raising the child. Gotta love pro-lifers who screw around but talk of being "responsible and moral". If you are religious, I bet your God-duh really "loves" you...

Techie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> K12144 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > No need to talk about me as if I'm not around,
> nor
> > to put words in my mouth.
> >
> > It just seems to me that abortion is one of the
> > only times in life when one can be
> irresponsible,
> > reap the consequences of those actions, and go
> to
> > someone and have them instantly make it all
> better
> > without one learning a damn thing. (unless
> one's
> > rich and can bribe someone to let one out of a
> > traffic ticket or bad grade or whatever) And
> yes,
> > I'm sorry that pisses me off, but I'm tired of
> > irresponsible people having their actions be
> okay.
> > I don't think these irresponsible cuntfaces
> > should be bringing kids into the world either,
> > hence part of the reason I don't actually feel
> > abortion should be illegal, but perhaps there
> > should be some other consequence, like
> mandatory
> > birth control to ensure that they don't keep
> doing
> > the same damn thing over and over again.
>
>
> The consequence? Let's see, the procedure runs
> close to $1000 if you want all the medications and
> pain killers. A $1000 bill and pain is not
> enough? What about all the fuckers standing by
> the clinic doors, and make you want to vomit?
> There are plenty of consequences. I think every
> abortion performed saves us, the taxpayers, money.
> I thank all the girls out there (who made their
> own choices) for choosing wisely.

What do you expect from a "pro-life" CF'er. Turtle's old board had "Marathon Woman", a forced birth Catholic. Of course, MW said she used Natural Family Planning as that is the Church's only approved method for contraception. She said if she got knocked up that she would have that baby. The gal was really childless-for-now until she got the days of the month mixed up. Too bad these "CF" women trying to be cool while holding onto anti-abortion views for the rest of us should just join goth board instead if they want the "cool factor" for awhile. They make the rest of us look bad with their idiocy. I am sure these women do vote the forced birth ticket. Marathon Woman was the same: At first, saying she did not care what others did even though she was personally against abortion. Then, the responsibility shit came out in her posts. They cannot hide it for too long. I am certain the woman is burping babies and may have a toddler as NFP eventually fails. I know I am a real bitch but too fucking bad to these women if they hate what I say...

I've always been pro-choice -- but I'll admit that for a while I, too, figured I'd *have* to be "pro-life" if I ever got pregnant, go through with the pregnancy, and give the kid up for adoption. It took me a while, but I realized that I was letting the fact that most people are against abortion influence my (potential) actions, and that if I ended up not terminating a pregnancy because other people wouldn't approve, I'd probably end up letting myself be pressured into keeping the baby.

I don't want to go through nine months of hell. My body is already far from perfect, and I don't want to deal with the additional damage that pregnancy would cause. I don't want to risk having some psychologically scarred young adult come and interrupt my future (hopefully) happy life, demanding an explanation, wanting a relationship or feeling that I owe them something -- or coming into my future miserable life and making things that much worse. And I sure as hell don't want to end up raising the kid myself.

I'd prefer to not get pregnant at all, but if my precautions failed, I'd abort without hesitation or regret.

And it affects you how? Because someone else got away with something? That sounds like me when I see folks blast through stop lights in front of cops without even a second look, but I'll get a speeding ticket on a 4 lane 25 mph road in the middle of nowhere. People get away with stupid, and even evil, bullshit every single day with no consequences. It's part of life when you don't live in a surveillance state.

What exactly did they get away with that is so distasteful to you? Having unprotected sex without having to raise an unwanted child? And you care about that, why? Because a woman is making a decision that she doesn't want to deal with a baby? What is the better option then? Being pregnant for 9 months, and explaining to your parents and the rest of the relations that you're giving it up for adoption? Or maybe just having a baby you regret? Foisting it off on relatives? Yeah, all these seem like much better options than just ending the unwanted pregnancy, because children are the future, and so cute, and it's different when it's yours.



K12144 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No need to talk about me as if I'm not around, nor
> to put words in my mouth.
>
> It just seems to me that abortion is one of the
> only times in life when one can be irresponsible,
> reap the consequences of those actions, and go to
> someone and have them instantly make it all better
> without one learning a damn thing. (unless one's
> rich and can bribe someone to let one out of a
> traffic ticket or bad grade or whatever) And yes,
> I'm sorry that pisses me off, but I'm tired of
> irresponsible people having their actions be okay.
> I don't think these irresponsible cuntfaces
> should be bringing kids into the world either,
> hence part of the reason I don't actually feel
> abortion should be illegal, but perhaps there
> should be some other consequence, like mandatory
> birth control to ensure that they don't keep doing
> the same damn thing over and over again.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Feh Wrote:
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> And it affects you how? Because someone else got
> away with something?

Exactly! Pro-life nasty women get really angry because they believe "us evil sluts" got away something...meaning an unplanned pregnancy without the scars of stretch marks even if the kid was given away...or, as Stephanie said, feeling pressured to keep the baby thus having one's life ruined, meaning possibly giving up education and becoming "damaged" goods to fellows who have good jobs and a future. No pro-lifer wants to see a woman get away with something. That means a lack of control over us uppity women. Feh, we are on the same page about something.

> What exactly did they get away with that is so
> distasteful to you? Having unprotected sex
> without having to raise an unwanted child? And
> you care about that, why? Because a woman is
> making a decision that she doesn't want to deal
> with a baby? What is the better option then?
> Being pregnant for 9 months, and explaining to
> your parents and the rest of the relations that
> you're giving it up for adoption? Or maybe just
> having a baby you regret? Foisting it off on
> relatives? Yeah, all these seem like much better
> options than just ending the unwanted pregnancy,
> because children are the future, and so cute, and
> it's different when it's yours.

Just what I said earlier but you said it best. That is why I blow off the "pro-life CF'er" when they come out. Anyone from old Turtle's board remember "Marathon Woman", the pro-life Catholic "CF'er" on NFP (Natural Family Planning), who said she was childfree but would not abort but become a moo if her "birth control" failed. MW, at first, said she was alright with others did but that did not last long as she railed against abortion. I hope her husband dumped her ass if she got preggo and she is stuck with the thing on her own.

Of course, they at first claim how they do not "give a shit" as the "moral" K2144 said about what others do. In the next breath/post, her own little truths came out how she felt about abortion. It is scary but I read this link -- http://www.mnstate.edu/gracyk/courses/phil%20115/Stats_on_abortion.htm -- how most women using contraception are even at risk for unplanned pregnancy. Remember how I mentioned my first tubal failing. I was stunned when that happened as that was the most foolproof method of NOT getting pregnant!

I'd love to see what K2144 and others like her would do if this became a reality in their lives. We do know you're here. :spin

Would they REALLY be so "good" and adopt it out so to have their little punishment...or would they sneak off to an out-of-town clinic (but not tell anyone) so they could also get away with escaping that baby? Most pro-life woman who end up aborting always claim how they are a special case despite calling other women "sluts". Maybe they should stay true to their own morality and stop fucking even if they feel pressed by the man. Easy to blame the man for their "downfall". It takes two unless there is a rape.

I guess I'd just once like someone in this unique position explain, using logic and reason, why any person who isn't directly involved should care either way what reasons why any woman decides to terminate a pregnancy. If she's just doing it because of a birth control failure or if she's doing it because she's a mental case who would much rather deal with the hassle and expense of getting abortions than deal with prevention, the end result is the same, right?

Personally, it's an all or nothing thing for me. Either one is on the "abortion on demand" side of the fence or you are on the "no abortions for no one" side of the fence. It just doesn't make sense to say "ehhh...abortion, i guess it's okay but only if conditions A, B and C are met." It might not be your PERSONAL CHOICE were you to end up in a situation where you were with child, but that's Your Personal Choice. If you find it so distasteful that you feel the need to deride the minuscule number of women who use it as "birth control" (did I mention this is a TINY NUMBER?), then what makes it different in any other case?

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

K12144 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No need to talk about me as if I'm not around, nor
> to put words in my mouth.
>
> It just seems to me that abortion is one of the
> only times in life when one can be irresponsible,
> reap the consequences of those actions, and go to
> someone and have them instantly make it all better
> without one learning a damn thing. (unless one's
> rich and can bribe someone to let one out of a
> traffic ticket or bad grade or whatever) And yes,
> I'm sorry that pisses me off, but I'm tired of
> irresponsible people having their actions be okay.
> I don't think these irresponsible cuntfaces
> should be bringing kids into the world either,
> hence part of the reason I don't actually feel
> abortion should be illegal, but perhaps there
> should be some other consequence, like mandatory
> birth control to ensure that they don't keep doing
> the same damn thing over and over again.

If you want to talk about irresponsible cuntfaces, let's begin. A teenage dumbass gets knocked up, has the bay-bee. Drops out of high school, lives off her parents, then, after folks get tired of it, moves out and lives in a Subsidised housing that taxpayers pay for. Yeah! Pro-life all the way.

A stupid young guy has a girlfriend move in with him and his parents. Knocks her up. They live with parents, suck them dry. Overwhelm the elders and use the daylights out of them. Poor as dirt because these kids do not know how to save money. Again, pro-life all the way.

Why is that happening? It seems to me that society finds the above acceptable. Society praises that. They goo and gaa over those bay-bees, so screw-up breeders go on and make more bay-bees for more and more goos and gaaas.

I think that a girl who gets the abortion is the responsible one. Abortion is not cheap, it's painful and it does not happen on it's own, like bay-bees do. Abortion is a task that requires brains and knowledge.

Exactly, Techie!

The pro-lifers love those scenarios despite these people being a drain on society and their families. Adopting out is not as "good" as the pro-life people claim. Many adopted-out people often felt unloved by the adoptive parents. It is often worse then the infertiles adopted because they could not breed only for a pregnancy to happen once they took in someone else's baby. In that case, the non-bio kids really felt they had no place in the families while the "real kids" were favoured. The girl who aborts IS the responsible person. K2144 has so many issues with the "sluts" and sexuality along with how women dress that she wants those women to be punished via that baby. I find most like her are just childless-for-now.

Not to dig this one out of storage, but here is a personal story from a guy posted on one of vasectomy websites:

http://www.vasectomy-information.com/stories/anon4.htm

Anon 4's experience - added 7th July 2007
My childree vasectomy experience

Let me start out with an introduction: I am in my early 30s, live in Florida, have been in a stable relationship for 6 years, and value my freedom. I don't like the concept of marriage, I despise the idea of being responsible for a woman, and I hate the perspective of being bound to finance a mother's lifestyle by paying for some offspring resulting from failing birth control. In so many words, no kids for me.

I had contacted a doctor before, but the guy wanted roughly $4K for the procedure which was slightly more than I had hoped to spend. Last year I became aware of a local county program at Pinellas County Health Department. The program appealed to me because it came at a good price (supposedly even discounted or free depending on income), used an established physician and included follow-up labs to confirm the success of the procedure.

I contacted the county nurse in charge of the program to arrange my attendance of the compulsory information session and attended the group meeting in May 2006. It included an information video, a briefing on various aspects of the procedure, and paperwork. At the end of the session, there was an opportunity to schedule the procedure about a month in advance, and I scheduled for June 2006.

I did not disclose to my girlfriend that I was going to have the procedure. Instead, I informed her that I was going in for an invasive test.

I am generally shaven, so I did not have to go out of my shaving ways for my public hair in preparation for the vasectomy. On the day of the procedure, I naturally washed, went to the clinic, and was seated in the room for the procedure. I was asked to put on a jockstrap provided by the nurse below my underwear and jeans and wait. The nurse returned and asked me to lower my pants/underwear/jockstrap and lay down face up on a table, the legs hanging off the table bent on the knees. She used some sort of holding mechanism to hold the penis pointing towards the chest and left.

When the doctor arrived, he applied a solution to sterilize my genital area and started the no-scalpel vasectomy. He used a pen-type tool to apply the local anesthesia. It felt like a cold spray and really was not uncomfortable. While I looked up at the ceiling, the doctor then started the vasectomy. We were chatting about this and that, and I will admit I had to focus a bit on the desired outcome as the beginning of the procedure was slightly uncomfortable. I did not feel pain of course, but being a bit sensitive (taking my blood is no fun for nurses), I got a minor cold sweat and made a good effort to breathe good air to avoid any feeling of illness.

The discomfort ended within a minute or two, and the doctor and I continued chatted while he performed his art. I distinctively remember the smell of cauterized flesh when he finished the first half of the procedure, but at that point it was already very bearable. Overall the procedure took approx. 15 minutes, and while I obviously didn't see it, it involved cutting two vas tubes, applying metal rings to the upstream ends, and searing the ends.

The procedure ended with the doctor applying gauze to the single incision about the size of a piece of rice at the bottom center of the penis shaft and pulling up the jockstrap/pants combo to set everything in place. I drove home, informed my girlfriend that the test had been performed, and spent the rest of the day in bed, basically resting and watching TV. I cannot say that I had any problems, I took it easy, didn't rush bathroom breaks, and followed all instructions provided by the physician who actually called to check in on me (much appreciated), so all in all everything went well.

When the period of prescribed abstinence after the procedure ended, I started working to empty the upstream vas tubes. I understood that the procedure would not put an end to fertility right away, so I figured that protected sex with the girlfriend (or masturbation as the lazy way out) once a day should be a good way to get the tubes emptied.

I took in my first sample about two months after the procedure and was a bit disappointed to find that I was not in the clear yet. So I returned home to continue working on getting them emptied out, and I got the all clear a couple months later following my second sample. At that point I informed my girlfriend that it had been determined I could not have children.

Now, about one year after the vasectomy, I am happy, without problems, and looking forward to taking in another sample to ensure that there is not some freak late failure of the procedure. The scar from the incision has entirely disappeared, I got exactly what I wanted, the definitive birth control, my sex life has remained unaffected, and as such, my vasectomy has been a smashing success!

I guess this fellow has addressed the issue but in a different way.
His GF would probably have tried to stop him, but he was smart about. Many women of today are conditioned that they MUST date a fertile man. If he gets a snip, they panic. I think this article is good for guys who have girlfriends who would flip out about the snip.

There are guys out there who will conceive just to be able to keep the woman happy. They will fall for the tears of baby rabies and "I'll leave you" ultimatums. What these guys do not understand is that they are making an ultimate sacrifice than no one will ever thank them for. They are not being heros in any way. If anything, they are sticking it to themselves. When their woman divorces them, very little mercy will be offered towards the fact that he "did it for her". They will get the divorce shaft and no thank you. Woman will speak poorly of then and say "he did not even want to start a family, dirtbag". I think these men need to start looking at their own life goals first before listening to their mothers about "keeping wife happy".

Techie, thanks for posting this. I like the way the guy handled it. He took control of his destiny and was honest with his partner about not being able to have kids. (Even if he had a little help with his sterility.)

Techie, I am glad the guy did it and did not tell his girlfriend. Like abortion: His Body; His Life; His Choice. Girlfriend does not need to know the truth. He is protecting himself just as a woman gets an abortion without telling the guy. It is for self-preservation.

amethusos* Wrote:
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> Techie, I am glad the guy did it and did not tell
> his girlfriend. Like abortion: His Body; His Life;
> His Choice. Girlfriend does not need to know the
> truth. He is protecting himself just as a woman
> gets an abortion without telling the guy. It is
> for self-preservation.
>


Yes, by all counts, YES! I could not have stated this one better! I love it when people support the CF choice! If his GF wanted to breed, more power to her, she just needs to find someone who wants to breed! This guy on this post does not and he was smart enough to protect himself. A while ago I found another pro-CF opinion article. When I find it again, I'll post it.

It just seems to me if you have been in a stable relationship for 6 years you would have discussed not wanting kids ever. Whatever works for you though. I made it plain I did not want kids and 20 years going strong the only little feet we have our cats.