September Smothering failures

It's been a little while since I did this and I think I'm past due for another installment of failures and WTFs from The Commode.

Birfin' Bloopers

- Moos in "unassisted childbirth" section ask, "How to get the baby to breathe (after it comes out)?" I guess giving birth at a hospital or having someone around who knows how to deliver and resuscitate a newborn is out of the question because these women care more about having a totally "unassisted" birth than they do having live babies.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1362577/how-to-get-baby-to-breathe#post_17105882

- Silly doctor insists home-birfin' Moo gets a C-section because she's sluicing a month early and the loaf is breech. Moo says no and claims while she was in "histarics," she was sedated and given a C-section against her will. This has caused Moo to develop panic attacks and depression, along with her inability to find a lawyer to take her case. How dare that doctor try to keep Moo and/or the premature loaf from dying!
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1361088/does-anyone-have-a-lawyer-reccomendation

- Woman with no uterus wants to do a surrogate home birth. Because I'm sure carrying a stranger's baby and the being required to birth it on the living room floor in a kiddy pool is a magical experience. I wonder if the contract is voided if the surrogate goes to the hospital.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1049000/no-uterus-but-eggs-sperm


The Cancer Curers of Tomorrow....


- 11-year-old boy suddenly begins wetting the bed and needs to wear diapers and rubber pants because he pisses like Niagara every night. At first he was embarrassed, but now he no longer minds wearing them and might even enjoy wearing diapers now. It also seems like Moo was putting the diapers on him. People suggest he's having wet dreams and of course, someone had to suggest foooooooood allergies.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1361919/bed-wetting

- 9-year-old demands knives and rope and threatens to kill herself when she doesn't get her own way. Opinions are kind of divided - some say don't take her seriously, some say OMG get her help! I'd give her a knife and tell her, "I double dog dare ya to do it!"
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1362074/9-5-year-old-usinge-sucide-to-try-and-get-her-way-but-not-seriously-wanting-to-kill-herself

- Allegedly potty-trained 3-year-old future mensa member secures a radius of two bedrooms and a hallway by covering them in his own shit and using his toys to play with said shit. He does this during Moo's "quiet time" when she tells the kids to GTFO for an hour.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1362407/3-year-old-intentionally-pooping-on-the-floor-during-quiet-time-then-playing-in-it


....And the wonderful breeders who raise them


- This Moo says the family's household budget is $5800 a MONTH and they STILL can't afford to live. What in the blue fuck are they DOING?!
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1357957/lets-share-budgets-please

- Moo has caught her husband cheating on her three times. The most recent time, he snuck out to a motel outside the city to bang some random chick. I don't condone cheating, but I have to wonder how she knew he was doing this and where exactly he would be so she could catch him? Does she follow him around when he leaves the house? Also, why would she stay with a serial (attempted) cheater and "TTC" with him a second time? I laughed that he told her she has no class because she threw him out.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1361162/new-here-need-help

- Someone in the GD section asks, "Why does everyone hate spanking?" The general response is, "Spanking isn't discipline. It's abuse, anger, violence, violation of human rights, etc." or, "You can't teach a child to not hit by hitting them." Brace yourselves, there's over 160 responses.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1359650/why-not-spanking

- Jelly-spine GD Moo lets her 7-year-old twin mistakes hit her. Every day. Because she can't be arsed to discipline them for real. Sounds like they both need to get five across the face.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1360478/our-home-life-is-a-series-of-battles-and-i-cant-figure-out-what-to-do


Unschooling


- I have no idea what RU is, but I love this quote: "I pretty much hate my life, myself and my kids. I'm pretty sure my kids will not amount to anything" Considering what she describes, I would hate my life too if I could bring myself to continue living it. Well her dumb ass chose to home school her lazy, useless kids.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1350806/feel-like-ru-has-ruined-my-life

- Kid is EIGHT years old and still cannot fucking read. Send your fucking child to a normal school so their chance of being a productive citizen can go from none to slim.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1284958/almost-8-year-old-not-reading

Quote
Cambion
- I have no idea what RU is, but I love this quote: "I pretty much hate my life, myself and my kids. I'm pretty sure my kids will not amount to anything" Considering what she describes, I would hate my life too if I could bring myself to continue living it. Well her dumb ass chose to home school her lazy, useless kids.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1350806/feel-like-ru-has-ruined-my-life

According to one of the moos, ru is "Radical Unschooling," which sounds like a joke.

While the concept of schools in general is outdated, any discipline at all could've prevented whatever the hell's going on here. The Moo's right in that her kids will never amount to anything, but it's all because she bought into this "gentle discipline" nonsense.

From the top of my head, before doing any further reading ~

Moos in "unassisted childbirth" section ask, "How to get the baby to breathe (after it comes out)?"

The fire place bellows work great! Insert nozzle into loaf hole (not your hole, cry hole of loaf.) No fire place? A bicycle pump can work too. Hair dryers are not recommended unless they have a 'cool' or 'no heat' setting.

11-year-old boy suddenly begins wetting the bed and needs to wear diapers and rubber pants because he pisses like Niagara every night. At first he was embarrassed, but now he no longer minds wearing them and might even enjoy wearing diapers now.

An Adult Baby is Born! It's a fun lifestyle, don't be overly concerned. Embrace it!

Allegedly potty-trained 3-year-old future mensa member secures a radius of two bedrooms and a hallway by covering them in his own shit and using his toys to play with said shit.

He's just marking his territory! And you can tell he'll be a Great Success! in Construction - the Poo symbolizes concrete! Just make sure he doesn't wind up like Jimmy Hoffa.

This Moo says the family's household budget is $5800 a MONTH and they STILL can't afford to live. What in the blue fuck are they DOING?!

Yeah and what are they doing with all MY tax money also?

Moo has caught her husband cheating on her three times.

This is a shock to Moo - WHY?

Jelly-spine GD Moo lets her 7-year-old twin mistakes hit her. Every day.

It's just like 50 Shades of Grey! I ENJOY IT!

Kid is EIGHT years old and still cannot fucking read.

Your kid is a RETARD. That'll be 10 thousand dollars for the diagnosis, pay on your way out.

Check out this response to the RU cunt who is housing three illiterate savages whom she is 'unschooling':

"Hi, I am an unschooling Mom to my 18 year old son and an Attachment Parent. I work with parents through Unschooling and AP coaching on how to make unschooling work. It sounds like your anxiety about the natural process of learning could be affecting the children. It might help to de-school yourself and your idea of what learning should be. If you are trying to direct the process or coerce your children to do something "schoolish", that is not unschooling. Children learn naturally when they are in natural environments. Spend the majority of the time outdoors, and when indoors, the TV should be off, no video games. If you visit my YouTube channel, LaurieACouture, I have six free videos about the unschooling process. Feel free to contact me- I love helping families find joy in the unschooling life!

Holy shit! These batshit crazy people are out there, raising the fyoooture eyes2

Looks like we have a bunch of future Darwin Award winners here.

Here's the later post of the Moo with the shit smearing 3 y/o who apparently doesn't like Moo's new "quiet time".:headbrick


He responds well to time outs, which we did right after today's incident. I wonder if he sees quiet time as a big time out? Maybe I'll try explaining to him again why it's important to get a rest in the middle of the day. He seems to grasp reason when we take the time to equate something that's happened with the way he sees the world. But it's hard to find a parallel to poop cleanup! He'd be seeing a MUCH BIGGER time out and in a small, isolated, tiled area like a "special" room in the fucking basement. NO WAY I'd put up with any such bullshit like shit smearing in my own home, NEVER.

Someone on another thread mentioned small candies as rewards too. I'm sure he'd be game for m&m's. I'll try that! Finger painting the walls with poop sounds disgusting. At least it's creative? Maybe he'll be an artist! Thank you so much for your response. "CREATIVE"? Candy as a reward? These stupid cows need to PUNISH these little bastards with a beating followed by being locked in a room where they can do little damage and the room AND the brat can be hosed down UNTIL they can cease with the shit smearing bullshit!:headbrick

We caved on the no birthday celebrations bit. Didn't do the full-out thing we had planned, but doing nothing just didn't feel right. We ended the day on a positive note, which was nice. And we had a talk at bed time about it that went like this:

me: where does poop go?
ds: in the potty
me: not on the bed or the floor, right?
ds: right
me: we're not going to have that trouble again, are we?
ds: we're not going to have that trouble again, are we? [pause] No, we're not. He's obviously mocking her, thinks it's funny, and has NO INTENTION of stopping with the shit smearing.

Fingers crossed he actually gets it. FFS! She never follows through on anything which is why he can smear shit and not suffer any consequences. I'd have told him that boys who smear their shit don't GET birthday parties and then follow through with it.

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

"Hi, I am an unschooling Mom to my 18 year old son and an Attachment Parent"

HE SHOULD BE WORKING AND ON HIS OWN LIVING IN A COLLEGE DORM . . . OMG!!!!!

Sorry, but this is absurd, the number of giant children we have on this planet.

Quote
Cambion
- Silly doctor insists home-birfin' Moo gets a C-section because she's sluicing a month early and the loaf is breech. Moo says no and claims while she was in "histarics," she was sedated and given a C-section against her will. This has caused Moo to develop panic attacks and depression, along with her inability to find a lawyer to take her case. How dare that doctor try to keep Moo and/or the premature loaf from dying!
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1361088/does-anyone-have-a-lawyer-reccomendation

Ohhh, wonderful! Another case of, "What do them silly dokturz know?!" And I wonder why she can't find a lawyer to take her "case." It couldn't be due to the fact that it's pure bullshit, that she doesn't have panic attacks and depression - she's just being a child herself, throwing a tantrum for not getting her way, even when that way would endanger the life of the child she supposedly loves so much.

This is America, so if SueMoo just keeps looking, she will most likely find a lawyer willing to take her case. You can sue anyone for anything here and considering how often obstetricians are sued when loaves don't come out picture perfect and/or Moo isn't allowed to suffocate her loaf with her vag at home, I imagine she's just not looking hard enough for a lawyer.

No matter how much I read about it, I just cannot get over these Moos who let their kids hit them. I know they all bitch about how "you can't teach a child not to hit by hitting them," but they certainly aren't teaching them not to hit by letting those kids hit THEM! I don't know how a grown human being can sit there and let their kid slap them because they're too scared of hurting their kids' feelings by telling them NO.

Can someone tell me how this unschooling shit is legal? Didn't we used to call kids skipping REAL school and sitting on their asses all day "truancy?" Obviously these kids are not learning anything and the Moos are in no way equipped to teach anyway. How is it these breeders can get away with basically letting their kids become stupid truants and not be punished for it? Is truancy still a crime? I wonder if colleges will accept applicants who have been unschooled. Home schooling is bad enough because most people don't know WTF they're doing when they teach the kids at home, but unschooling is just plain horse shit. I guess these Moos don't want their kids to ever have jobs that pay more than minimum wage, and that's if they're lucky. They'll probably just go on welfare because no one will hire someone without a REAL high school education or a GED.

Our future, folks. I think we need to seriously consider colonizing the moon and, instead of passports, incoming residents take an IQ test. If you're too dumb, you get launched into orbit and the rest can stay.

Does the moo wanting her surrogate to homebirth remind anyone of the book The Handmaid's Tale??? I'm creeped out enough to hide under my chair instead of sitting in it.