Tard stories

Goddam Kim, that sounds like a living hell. I sure as fuck wouldn't volunteer to deal with tards when they act like that every single time I went in. Though at least it was the tard wranglers who later got to deal with tards hyped up on sugar and not you and your mom. I'm absolutely shocked none of these tards managed to injure you treating you like their own personal little toy.

Something fun I found out about Tard Blog is that they actually used to donate to the Special Olympics. Readers could make a PayPal donation. But tTard Blog stopped donating when they received a letter from the Special Olympics saying to take their name and logo because they didn't want people associating the event with the site. Apparently they are even too speshul for free money.

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simplyshortz
Jesus Kim, that is fucking horrible! You're lucky you never had your brains bashed in by one of them, especially if it was you against no less than 3-5 at a time! That is the stuff nightmares and PTSD are made of for sure.

None of them were ever mean or violent towards me, but they were BIG, big TARDS, so they were clumsy and didn't carry me properly so that DID hurt when they'd pick me up! I was a small kid probably weighing 40 or 50 pounds at most against their 200 plus pound tard body.:hs

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Kim, in my head, this is what your story looked like:



"I will pet him and squeeze him and call him George"

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Just had a tard experience yesterday, but it's nothing too special.

I was out with a friend (she's unfortunately a breeder, but knows better than to bring her bratty-ass kids into our friendship - SHE is the one who admitted they're bratty, ill-behaved and out of control, btw. Otherwise she's a really sweet gal who's a nice friend), and we were waiting for the subway train. Suddenly we start hearing shrieking right in front of us. Lo and behold, there's a flapping, overstimulated tard girl, screeching, babbling hysterically and flailing about. If you're a 3 Stooges fan, think of Curly going "woop woop woop!". I've already been on the train in this country with creepy tards and their overbearing, entitled (as in, I deserve to push YOU out of your place in line and take the seat YOU should have had, because my kid's a tard!) handlers, and I wasn't about to have any more of that. WIthout even thinking, I instinctively moved over to the next waiting spot, which I was hoping was going to be in the next train car. My friend said something about feeling sorry for the tard's handlers for having to deal with that. My response (though I tried not to be harsh about it because I like my friend and don't want to pick fights with her) was that I didn't think it was a good idea for any tard's - or a small child's for that matter - handlers to be bringing one into a situation where they can become overstimulated and out of control. This adult tard wasn't very big, but chimps aren't always either, and they're still capable of ripping people's faces and genitals off when they freak out. That whole situation could have snapped from hyper wooping and babbling to violence in a split second, and I didn't want to be anywhere near it. Hopefully my friend didn't think I was being callous, but...I've just heard of way too many random tard violence incidents, and I don't want to be the next victim. There's nothing worse than being stuck in a train car with one who's becoming progressively unstable and worked up., because there's nothing you can do! You can't just jump out of the train!!

This suddenly reminds me of another incident where I was stuck on the train with a kid who had some kind of impulse control problem. I don't know if it's a trait of autism, OCD or what, but I was coming home from work one day and this teenage boy is standing right in front of the train doors. He keeps making sudden movements as if he's about to pry the doors open with his hands while the train is moving (it's definitely possible to). He almost actually does it several times, but pulls his hands back at the last second! I think I remember he was with someone who was keeping a watchful eye from a few feet away. When he started getting a little too close to actually grabbing the doors, that person shuffled him away from the doors some. Good thing someone was actually paying attention...

Captcha: xxDUM larious

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Miss_Hannigan
Kim, in my head, this is what your story looked like:

abominablesnowman.jpg

"I will pet him and squeeze him and call him George"

That is how it felt too! I just had a latent memory surface after having seen this post you made and it was about Pepe' Le Pew. I was reminded of how much I not only loved that cartoon, but greatly identified with the Penelope cat as a kid due to my Tard experiences. I wonder if those early tard experiences made me the cat lover I am today?

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I have two tard stories. The first one is pretty innocuous:

A few years ago I was stationed at a Navy command in California. We had a summer party for all of the active duty people at the CO's house. I arrived on the designated afternoon and was immediately greeted at the door by a 13-year-old tard wearing a bandana around his neck that served as a drool-catcher. This kid was pretty tame with the exception of darting, flitting movements, an obsession with coffee, and the ever-present drool. My gods that kid was a sopping mess of it! It was all over him. When I came in the door, his duh, our Executive Officer, was close behind him. My face probably registered mild shock or confusion, and when I locked eyes with the duh, he transmitted boundless shame and exhaustion. I had had no idea that he had this tard at home. He also had this little 17-year-old slut-muffin daughter who I secretly am glad will have to carry tardly's burden later on. The best part of the whole afternoon was when another toddler fell into the little fish pond.

My second story is a bit more scary. I know I've told this one before, but I'll tell it again. My ex-bf had an 18 year old autard who was huge, stank, forgot to take his meds ALL THE TIME, and liked to get into your personal space. I was repelled by him to the point of not wanting to be in the same room with him. After he graduated from high school, they put him in this college-prep class for special needs people. It was in the summer so that they could get used to being in college before the real students showed up. During one lecture, he was arguing with the teacher to the point of distraction, so she threw him out of class. He went out of the classroom and threw a bunch of metal folding chairs against the wall and broke some glass. The teacher locked the classroom doors and called security, who were able to talk him down. He almost got kicked out of the program, and that's the last I heard of him. I broke up with bf shortly after that, found bratfree, and never looked back. I did run into my ex a couple of days ago on the street and he mentioned that he had lots of worries, his son included. I didn't ask what the autard had been up to lately. Don't want to know and don't care.

I'm reading this thread just fascinated and horrified and needing a couple hundred gallons of brain bleach and thinking that I may not need to go ahead with my tubal tomorrow because I think my tubes just tied themselves after reading these stories. Then I realized that I have a tard story of my own though there is no way I can top some of these.

At a place I used to work, the owner (who is a big celebrity in his field. TV shows, tours etc) has a son who is some kind of tard. Big, awkward and with no filter for social decorum). This guy was in his early 20's and the company would occasionally trot him out like a trick pony on tour. He did have some talent but not nearly as much as was crowed about by the cult members...er fans.

This guy was a RAGING hormonal mess. Many times when he would come into the office I had to dodge his 'hugs' which he would sneak up behind you to surprise you with. You always had to know where he was if he was out of the line of sight. Every summer they would put him to "work" in shipping and it would be a complete mess. He would blast obnoxious music (think the Barbie song over and over). You would have to watch him constantly so that he didn't wander off and basically the company paid him to drag down production and have him sitting at the shipping computer all afternoon. Meanwhile the rest of us had to babysit this guy for no extra pay.

He would "fall in love" with the girls in the call center. He would constantly tell them he wanted to marry them and make them a "bigshots last name" and that he wanted them to have his babies (gross). He would get very fixated on his crush of the month and wouldn't let up until they found him a local tard girl who he blathered on about constantly. I just know they had to watch the two of them like hawks cause this guy was just incessantly fixated on sex. After awhile I stopped hearing about that situation so I don't know how it ended up. I left soon after but I'm sure things haven't changed. That company was extremely dysfunctional in so many ways.

"After he graduated from high school, they put him in this college-prep class for special needs people."

On one level, that does not compute.

On another level, that does not surprise any more. (Sigh.)

On yet another level, what a fucking waste of tax dollars. And I'll bet people in that program got special financial aid from the university involved—can't expect Tardley to repay a student loan, after all—while the productive who could have benefitted from the prep and education get left out as usual.

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Miss_Hannigan
Kim, in my head, this is what your story looked like:

abominablesnowman.jpg

"I will pet him and squeeze him and call him George"

I thought of Lennie in Of Mice and Men. Lennie will tend the rabbits. Lennie just wants to touch soft things. Squiiisssh...

This reminds me of a tard girl I went to elementary school with who would come up behind us and push her hands over our eyes and yell "guess whooo!!!", but she would squeeze your eyes like she was trying to shove them inside your head. Of course we couldn't upset the tard so we'd warn each other of her approach. But that fucking hurt. Oh those tards just don't know their own strength.

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diva

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sterilizedsally
Schizophrenia usually doesn't show until your 20s, but saying drug used cause it is bullshit.

Why is this? I've run across people that swear their schizophrenia was caused by heavy drug use. These are the violent crazies that usually end up in the psych hospital I was at via court order.

The schizo patients that never did drugs seemed to be pretty peaceful individuals. Peaceful but a bit fucked up. I include myself in this group.

Did the drugs just cause a different type of psychotic problem?

I think what your seeing in the druggies is Schizophrenia plus brain damage, especially in the frontal cortex. The frontal cortex is the part of the brain that holds restraint, impulse control, and anger management.

The drug free Schizophrenia would appear to not have the brain damage component, hence the restraint, impulse control, and anger management.

*Armchair shrink puts down the tablet*

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

A fun little update (and also a bump for folks who missed this treasure trove before). Big Fat Tard Sped Boy, for some goddamn fucked up reason, was let out of the nut house he's been in for the last year. I know this because he called last weekend and left three messages on the answering machine, one right after the other, rambling about stupid, incoherent shit until the machine quit recording. He called from a cell phone and not from the psychiatric center he has been calling from. He also doesn't seem to get that his Duh does not live here anymore. Gods, WHY does he have to remember the house number of all things?

Why the hell was he let out?! He's obviously not "cured" - he's still a fucking lunatic. I wish I could record the messages he leaves and let you guys hear them. Aside from the occasional word, I can't understand 99% of what he says because he just drones and mumbles like a zombie about stupid shit that makes no sense. I don't know if he was only allowed to stay there for a certain amount of time before he gets tossed back out or what.

He was going on about how he's going to visit here. Considering how dumb his Moo is, I wouldn't be surprised if she put him on a plane and sent him here again, despite being very clearly told he is not welcome and that if he shows up again crawling around in the backyard, the police will just be called again to haul his dumb ass away. I almost wish he would come here and get bitchy with the police so I could watch them shoot him or taze him or beat him. I'd go out there and join in. Last time he showed up in the yard, he was, surprisingly, cooperative with the officers.

The "Duck Tales" theme song is running through my head right now.

Tard Tales....Wooo ooooh!

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

When I was a kid, there was one who lived in the apartment building next to mine. She was schizophrenic, but not the violent outburst type. The worst she would do is go into the pool up to her waist and pee in it. I saw a yellow cloud around her one day when she was in the pool, and I told her I knew she was pissing in the pool (everybody knew. The lifeguard would dump half a bottle of chlorine in the pool whenever she did it). She said "no I'm not." I said "I can see it." Then she started acting like she was about to cry, and said "no I'm not" and got out of the pool. (I guess she was finished pissing in it). We all used to stay away from her because it was so gross (she used to walk around picking her nose and eating it, too). One day, her father even came out to talk to everybody about how we're always running away from her, telling us that we should be nicer to her. eyes2

There was another one when I was in grade 7. Her handler kept her mostly under control, but at recess, she would walk around from one person to another, bothering everybody. She would say weird things to people, or do weird things like when she ate apples, she would eat the core, seeds and all. Sometimes, she would pull on people's earrings. You could be standing there, talking to someone, and all of a sudden, she would grab your earring, pull, and she wouldn't stop or let go when you told her to. Then she would laugh. She did that to me once. It took every ounce of willpower not to punch her in the face.

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blondie
Oh those tards just don't know their own strength.

That reminded me of something the tard in my 7th grade class used to do - she would sometimes walk up to someone, grab their arm, and squeeze really hard, usually digging her nails in and leaving purple marks. She always used to giggle after she did something like that to someone.
They really don't know their own strength. Which is why they should never be left unattended while in public.

The epic Tard Blog appears to be abandoned. Are there any active similar blogs?

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bop
The epic Tard Blog appears to be abandoned. Are there any active similar blogs?

I think we're it! Let's keep rolling with the Tard Tales...whoo-ooh! larious

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

You'd have to go on the Internet wayback machine (I think that's what it's called). They have Sped and Pell entries, but I don't think they have ALL of Sped's (my favorite).

All of the piece of shit parents... The mind boggles. But... they really are like that - all they see is a free paycheck with feet.

I have a few of these, this thread is hilarious...

We have a lovely law in my state known as "least restrictive environment." This means that tards, even violent ones, must be in the LRE for their free education. It's very, very hard to get a kid put in a self-contained atmosphere. It requires hours of documentation and usually some sort of advocate will intervene and state that the tard needs to spend more time around his/her "non-disabled peers." The idea is that the tard feels sad about being separated and we should not make them feel sad.

There are some learning disabilities and even mildly retarded students for whom this works beautifully. Mostly, it is a disaster. It reminds me of Chris Rock who said, "When I was in school, they had all the crazy kids in the same area... so if they went crazy, they would only hurt other crazy kids."

One kid a few years ago was out of self-contained for two of his core classes. During his time in my class, "Steve" managed to break a lot of equipment, curse constantly, and flip me the double bird once when I kicked him out of class. He also shouted "It smells like your momma in here!" on a regular basis. He was finally expelled when he deliberately took a shit on the floor of the boy's bathroom while his friend lit some toilet paper on fire.

I had the same kid two years in a row. "Evan" was incredibly smart but prone to next-level meltdowns over very small things. One day when I would not give Evan the answer he wanted, he grabbed me by the shoulders (I am short, and small), and shook me. When I tried to pick up the phone to call the front office, he slapped the receiver out of my hand. He then physically blocked me when I tried to get to the call button. Evan also had a huge problem if someone tapped him and said, "You are it." He mentally could not handle being "it," but he would tag kids all the time... of course, they would tag him back. I once saw him running full-out down the hallway after a kid who looked like he was fleeing for his life. Evan was screaming, "I am not it I am not it I am not it I am not it..."

Our school has an autism program. The autism kids spend PE with a normal class, and a special "adaptive" PE teacher is there to help them. On picture day, PE is outside because pictures are being taken in the gym. On the way outside, one of the autism tards ("Ryan") spied a sandwich on a table which a photographer had obviously brought for his lunch. Ryan was incredibly food-motivated. He grabbed the sandwich and had swallowed over half of it before the autism teacher noticed and got it away from him, and put it in the garbage can (outside, by the field). What do you think Ryan did the next time the PE class went outside, MORE THAN THREE DAYS LATER? That's right, he made a beeline for the trash can and managed to eat a few more bites of the rotting sammich before the teachers got it away from him. And they say these kids can't learn!

I had a kid three years ago who was labeled as autistic, but I have my doubts about that label. I think he was just MR (mentally retarded) but his dad, being a pompous intellectual, refused to accept that he had mentally defective offspring. "Aaron" was sweet, but is basically stuck at the age of three (and when I had him, he was 12). He would do things like roll around on the floor, and when I said, "Aaron, that is unacceptable, stand up now," he said, "No, you're unacceptable!" He would say things to kids like, "I am going to kick you until you bleed, you have such a farty face." If he didn't like the work we were doing in class, he would shout, "BOOOORING!" He was actually pretty funny but I tried not to laugh, since that just fed his insanity. When he got upset he would speak in the third person. "Nooo! Aaron didn't break any rules, give Aaron another chance! Aaron just needs one more chance!" By the 8th grade, he was getting in trouble for grabbing asses and responding to directives with "suck my dick."

I must have missed some older "tard story" posts. What do "sped" and "pell" mean?

"Sped" is like a contraction of "special education." I don't know what "pell" is, though.

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autumn_sylver
I must have missed some older "tard story" posts. What do "sped" and "pell" mean?

They are "pen names" of the Tard Blog's contributors -- "Riti Sped" and "Kristy Pell." They didn't use their real names, for fear of backlash.

Check out the "Hate Mail" section of the original site... a lot of anonymous cowards were upset that someone was talking smack about those pweshus sneauxphlaiykes. So the kyds are allowed to run around and act like little assholes, piss and shit all over the place, kill animals, and attack a visitor, breaking his hand(!) -- but the person who dealt with them day after day isn't allowed to complain about their bad behavior? Nice.

I was a loyal reader when "Riti Sped" contributed (which stopped in 2003 because she quit her job.) And according to Tucker Max, the site's owner, the Tard Blog was even taken down by its original host because of its "offensive content." In turn, he relaunched the site on an offshore server.

Thanks, fuzzbutts. That makes sense.
Thanks also, drlove0378.

For those who want to read, here's a link to Tard Blog via the Wayback Machine. Unlike the Full Duplex mirror of just Riti's stories, this one has both Riti's and Kristy's stories (maybe one or two are missing) and all the linked photos are actually there.

http://web.archive.org/web/20050305044005/http://www.tard-blog.com/kristy8.html

Also, from what the WM site says, Tard Blog used to donate to the Special Olympics. Obviously it wasn't a retard hate site...just a place for these teachers to vent their frustrations. But idiots didn't get that, and they received a letter from the Special Olympics, saying to take their name and logo off the site. Aren't they special little snowflakes that they can refuse donations!

Ignorant people who have never dealt with retards directly are the first ones to bitch at anyone who dares complain about their behavior. These people seem to believe that tards are just big dumb teddy bears full of hugs and love. Even if you made them deal with a retard for a while, they would still say the same thing, but only because they don't want to have to say, "I was wrong."

@fuzzbutts, gods, those kids sound atrocious. And I want to find whoever came up with mainstreaming and sodomize them with a broken bottle. I bet everyone would laugh if it was turned around and someone suggested sticking the normal kids in the sped classes so they could learn tolerance or some shit.

You can tell those sped teachers feel terrible for their students. I think it's great for them to vent, bc it isn't about hating the tards.

If it was nothing but shit talking and making fun of people who were fucked up before birth, I would be totally against it. The people who send hate mail have no fucking clue what they're talking about, and for the ones who love to tell you how fucking majikal it is to live within any tard's blast radius is a fucking liar, with fried liars and liar sauce.

OT-ish: if anyone remembers the Corn Incident (Sped's stories), it's the reason I will forever associate t a r d s and corn (I use a certain euphemism regarding corn consumption and its relationship to cognitive function, quite regularly. Yes, I am an asshole).

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Cambion
Also, from what the WM site says, Tard Blog used to donate to the Special Olympics. Obviously it wasn't a retard hate site...just a place for these teachers to vent their frustrations. But idiots didn't get that, and they received a letter from the Special Olympics, saying to take their name and logo off the site. Aren't they special little snowflakes that they can refuse donations!

Any idiot who actually READ the Tard Blog would see that Riti Sped in particular was actually very devoted to her job, and would stand up for her "tards" when they were being taken advantage of by, for example, a pissy cafeteria worker, and would welcome them when they interrupted her at the grocery store or on a date. She stated openly that she very much loved her "Tards" and did her best for them, but she desperately needed somewhere to vent about them too. I actually have a lot of admiration for that bitch. She clearly did a lot more for her "Tards" than did the moos who sent her hate mail.