Fat, superficial, stinky duh whines on Craigslist

Found on the rants and raves section of my new town.

What I've learned from dating! (From a man) (MO)
This is what I've learned about dating

1. Looks are everything, it doesn't matter how nice or smart you are this is just a simple fact of life.
2. If you've been married before and have kids you are considered damaged goods! (Heard that from someone on here before)
3. Never ask a woman questions or ask for a picture! (That's a death sentence right there)
4. Never tell a woman that you miss her, she will automatically feel guilty that she can't see you.
5. People don't want relationships, they may say that they do but it's a load of crap!
6. Nice men finish dead last, that's just the way it is.
7. If you're not fit and active and don't work out 5 days a week you won't get the time of day with anyone.
8. If you're a smoker just forget it, plain and simple
9. To most people men and women's feelings and thoughts don't matter. I'm used to that one.

So there you have it, this is what I've learned from dating whether it be online or in the real world.
It's sad that society has come to this, dating was so much easier when I was in my twenties and thirties.
Location: MO
http://stlouis.craigslist.org/rnr/4041905395.html

What to even say to this except yet another dumbass "nice guy" (read: emotional wreck and probably abusive as hell) who was defeated by the complexity of a condom in his twenties and thirties, now he's an over-the-hill ashtray who doesn't work out but is asking for pictures to find women out of his league and who he could never afford with all those child support payments.

Bed made lie, loser.

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2. If you've been married before and have kids you are considered damaged goods!

Yep, yes, hell yeah, si, oui, damn straight, no kidding, uh huh, you got it!!!!!!!

So have you told him he's damaged goods yet?

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Seriously surprised there wasn't a "western women are the ruination of the world" comment and that the story didn't end up with "I imported my thai waifu and she loves me long time because she's so "subservient.""

Also, I am a lover of the larger men. Bulging muscles and six packs aren't the be all and end all in a relationship to me. However, most of the less toned men I encounter are jackasses and that's the reason they can't get a girlfriend but they blame it on the weight.

But yeah, smoking and kids are a huuuuuuuge no no for me.

A while back, a friend and I were talking about something she called "nice guy culture" or something like that - basically, a problem in society and the dating field is the way guys are conditioned from young age that "the nice guy is always supposed to get the girl." Of course there's some truth in the sense that he should treat a girl well if he wants to date her (and this goes BOTH WAYS gender-wise, or at least should, but society focuses more on the guy being nice to the girl), and it's true that a girl shouldn't date a guy who is a jerk to her (again, this goes both ways too). BUT. Think about all the movies, songs, shows, books, pop culture, etc. where if a guy likes a girl, all he has to do is be nice and she will automatically date him. Or, if she isn't interested, keep on trying and trying and trying and eventually she will "come around" (think of all the blechy rom-coms where this is the case). And, if she isn't, she's viewed as a bitch or as just not good enough for him anyways, or whatever.

Pop culture as described above doesn't take into account the fact that sometimes, it's NOT just about "if you're nice to someone, you get them." The person could have fundamentally different wants/needs, incompatibilities, or maybe just aren't interested in a relationship at all, and all of those are fine. But there's all these messages of "if he's a nice guy, he's automatically The One," or "everyone deserves a date if they're nice" etc.

So now we have all these guys who act like if they're decent to a woman, she is obligated to date him, and if she doesn't want to for whatever reason, either he has to keep trying on her, or she's some kind of stuck-up bitch. This seems to be worse with the type of person Law described.

Nice guys - the kind who whine about not getting the girl - really aren't nice. They're manipulative shits who think that the superficial appearance of treating a woman as a princess makes up for the fact that they don't think of her as a person in her own right, but as a prize.

Heartless Bitches has a few posts on "nice guys".

'nice guys' are nice till things don' t go their way. Then they turn into complaining, wusses who blame everyone else for their troubles. I've had one of those 'nice guys' in my life.

I've known kind men and mild-mannered men, but the ones who proclaim to be 'nice' have almost always been immature misogynists with explosive tempers and rigid, authoritarian worldviews. They also tended to be bullies. If someone seemed confident or strong around them, they reverted to their 'nice' (read: retreating) disposition. If a person displayed weakness or vulnerability, or was younger or smaller in stature, they bullied them.

Yep, 'nice' guys are usually creepy freaks.

Yeah he sounds like a real prize and he's old too. Fact of life is it doesn't get easier to meet people as you get older, doh. He's an overweight middle aged smoker with brats and a chip on his shoulder. Line up ladies.

"Looks are everything"...well, on a certain level, yes. There has to be something appealing about that person that makes you want to go talk to them. Or keep talking to them, if they approach you. This is okay. Physical attraction is okay. Basing everything on physical attraction is a recipe for disaster.

"If you're not fit and active you won't get the time of day with anyone". The culture has a standard of beauty. And sometimes it's pretty fucked-up. BUT I wonder if this guy is going after women who're out of his league, looks-wise. Or he's going after women who do base everything off physical attraction. Or he's not gorgeous, AND he hasn't cultivated much else...no confidence, charisma, conversational skills, or humor. Friend of mine is a very average looking guy in his 40s. He's a chick magnet! He doesn't think women owe him anything. He's pleasant, respectful, well-groomed, an intelligent conversationist, and doesn't get angry or bitter about rejection.

"People don't want relationships..." Nah. It's just hard to accept that they don't want a relationship with YOU. I've been there. Rejection sucks. Feel sad for a bit, that's okay. But accept that not everyone wants you, and that dating, while often fun, is for many people a sifting process for finding the ones that DO want you.

As for smoking and kids...yup, those are dealbreakers for a lot of people, CF or not. People get to decide what they will put up with in exchange for a relationship, period. You may think your kids are great, but to your potential dates they're a liability, an uncontrollable variable. Hell, even if you manage to find someone who's okay with kids, that person's going to have to decide if they want to take the risk. You might think your kids are great; your date might think they're crazed spider monkeys.

Bottom line: you are not entitled to someone's time, space, or affections.

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CFinPenthouse
I've known kind men and mild-mannered men, but the ones who proclaim to be 'nice' have almost always been immature misogynists with explosive tempers and rigid, authoritarian worldviews. They also tended to be bullies. If someone seemed confident or strong around them, they reverted to their 'nice' (read: retreating) disposition. If a person displayed weakness or vulnerability, or was younger or smaller in stature, they bullied them.

Yep, 'nice' guys are usually creepy freaks.

Yes indeed! I didn't know any better at first, my very first boyfriend was like this.
He was so compartmentalised that as long as I kept my mouth shut, he was a humongous asshole, but the second I voiced one word of complaint, he had no idea what I was talking about, HE would never do such things, flowers, pedestals, Madonna worship, I was suddenly the best girlfriend ever, bow and scrape... Until I quit hassling him for being a douche, then he'd turn right back into a douche.

Part of MY problem was that I was raised in a very appearances oriented, "niceness counts!" culture that focused very little on actually being a good person, only the signs and symptoms of being SEEN as a nice person. It was the sickest, most backstabby culture I have ever experienced. They paid a tiny bit of lip service to being a good person, and spent most of the time lecturing about how the world perceives "us" by our standards, which were mostly arbitrary obediance rules. Sorry, nobody respects a mormon for not drinking coffee. LOL!

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Presto

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CFinPenthouse
I've known kind men and mild-mannered men, but the ones who proclaim to be 'nice' have almost always been immature misogynists with explosive tempers and rigid, authoritarian worldviews. They also tended to be bullies. If someone seemed confident or strong around them, they reverted to their 'nice' (read: retreating) disposition. If a person displayed weakness or vulnerability, or was younger or smaller in stature, they bullied them.

Yep, 'nice' guys are usually creepy freaks.

Yes indeed! I didn't know any better at first, my very first boyfriend was like this.
He was so compartmentalised that as long as I kept my mouth shut, he was a humongous asshole, but the second I voiced one word of complaint, he had no idea what I was talking about, HE would never do such things, flowers, pedestals, Madonna worship, I was suddenly the best girlfriend ever, bow and scrape... Until I quit hassling him for being a douche, then he'd turn right back into a douche.

Part of MY problem was that I was raised in a very appearances oriented, "niceness counts!" culture that focused very little on actually being a good person, only the signs and symptoms of being SEEN as a nice person. It was the sickest, most backstabby culture I have ever experienced. They paid a tiny bit of lip service to being a good person, and spent most of the time lecturing about how the world perceives "us" by our standards, which were mostly arbitrary obediance rules. Sorry, nobody respects a mormon for not drinking coffee. LOL!

This (these?). According to my (admittedly limited) experience in this field, if a bloke says he's a "nice guy", RUN.

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mypersonality.info

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."
George Bernard Shaw

"An oyster can play catch if u only give it the oprotunity"
Some random YouTube commenter

"hate comments will be deleted!! fuckers!"
Some random YouTube uploader

YES!! Those who keep proclaiming how "nice" they are are usually the biggest douchebags and feel like they are entitled to your time/attention. I loathe how these "nice" guys will pursue a woman and when they get rejected (even in the most kind way) they turn into huge fucking assholes. It's like one minute "You are so amazing! You're so beautiful, blah blah blah" and then it's "You're a fucking whore bitch. Fuck you fatso!" Gag.

This jackass cracks me the fuck up.

First of all, about appearance being everything... I've put on a few pounds (previously very active job, now I'm a part-time, broke-ass, sedentary phone bitch, who has lost five pounds by controlling portions)... and I'm gawked at on a regular basis (according to my fiancé - I never seem to notice). And this is when I'm in top-knot, yoga pants, butter head mode. Furthermore, if everything was about being a perfect physical specimen, why do I find Kevin James and Gary Valentine fucking adorable? If not for my fiancé, I'd marry either of them in a heartbeat. Granted, heavy isn't generally viewed as healthy, but there are some exceptions to this rule, which brings me to...

Smoking. It's a deal-breaker for many people, for a reason; nobody wants to be with someone who is going to croak too early, by his or her own hand. Same for excessive alcohol consumption. Weed is okay, in moderation, but anything that's burnt and inhaled contains at least SOME kind of carcinogen.

Kids, well... this one should be obvious. I won't explain it to a moron who has the guts to complain about why all of his sucky qualities should be overlooked. If he were really a nice guy, or rather, a good man, he wouldn't be lamenting his situation; he'd change it if he desired to do so, and wouldn't cloud any potential dating/getting to know a person period with such hostility (which he's trying to disguise as the melancholia of the downtrodden, when we all can see it as the woe-is-me vitriol of the un-festively plump, nicotine-besotted, whingy fuckwit).

There are plenty of women who like big men, and there is no stigma to it. It's not that, it's the combination of things and his attitude. And that he's probably expecting young hot women to be into him.

I'll break this down from the perspective of a single guy.

"Looks are everything, it doesn't matter how nice or smart you are this is just a simple fact of life" Have you ever been hit on by someone you're not attracted to? Yeah, it works both ways.

" If you've been married before and have kids you are considered damaged goods! (Heard that from someone on here before)" So you'd rather be with someone who doesn't want to be around kyds? What about her feelings on the subject? That tells me you're a selfish asshole. Best of luck.


"Never ask a woman questions or ask for a picture! (That's a death sentence right there)" My bullshit senses are tingling . Exactly what questions are you asking? And what kinds of pictures are you requesting?

"Never tell a woman that you miss her, she will automatically feel guilty that she can't see you." Or you're telling her way too soon. Or she doesn't miss you back.

"People don't want relationships, they may say that they do but it's a load of crap!" Some people don't want the same things as you. Find someone who does. Move on.

"Nice men finish dead last, that's just the way it is." How would you know? You've proven you're selfish and care little for the desires of anyone you're trying to date.

"If you're not fit and active and don't work out 5 days a week you won't get the time of day with anyone." Or you're trying to date a woman who is into fitness and your lifestyle isn't for her. Or maybe you're so fat you need a stick to help you wipe your ass and constantly smell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM Or maybe (and this is just a guess) it's your personality.

"If you're a smoker just forget it, plain and simple" Easy problem. Stop smoking, or just forget it.

"To most people men and women's feelings and thoughts don't matter. I'm used to that one." She's not that into you. Take the hint and try to better yourself for the future or find someone with lower standards.

I tried my best not to mock him, but damn...

The "nice" guys i've had the misfortune to meet were the biggest assholes. They seem very nice in the beginning indeed but if you reject them, they turn into monsters, pretty much what jezebel_daisy said. I've rejected and i've been rejected by these types and it went like this:

1. When i rejected them, they started calling me a bitch and spread false rumors about me.
2. When i was rejected i just moved on and didn't give a crap BUT they got all butt-hurt because OMG! she's not crying and begging me to come back? And they did the same as at no.1.

Very mature.

If anyone has seen the movie Megamind, they covered the character of the typical 'nice guy' extremely well. Nice guy Hal thinks his coworker doesn't like him because he's short and dumpy and not exactly attractive, but when he gains superpowers and she still rejects him, he literally turns into a murderous fucking lunatic. "Nice guys" don't turn into psychopaths because women turn them down, the psychopath is lurking there underneath all along.

When it comes to friends OR romantic partners, I'd take an unapologetic asshole any day over someone who pretends to be nice and really isn't.

And really, guy from the OP? You admit to being sedentary, a smoker, a breeder, and yet it's the WOMEN who have a problem for not wanting you? Exactly what the fuck do you have to offer in the first place, genius? All you really want is someone to take care of your dicksnots, get your rocks off without vomiting, and later in life, push your wheelchair, wipe your ass and make sure you have a fresh oxygen tank.

I am also not fooled by the 'nice guy'. They come off as being really nice in the beginning, because they want to gain your confidence and trust.

Nice guys are just losers in general, and they know it. This causes them to be very angry inside. They may not show it at first, but eventually it comes out in passive-aggressive, shitty little actions. Nice guys won't trust you, because they are afraid that you are going to find someone better than them.

The truth is, nice guys have little to offer, and they are usually nothing much to look at.

I prefer a good, decent man over a nice guy any day of the week. Any man who says he's a nice guy to me, the red flags start waving like mad!

As for the smoking issue, it has never been a problem for me where men are concerned. I've even been told that it's somewhat erotic to see a chick smoking a cigar. Not why I smoke them, but definitely a benefit that works in my favor.

Somehow that reminds me of an incident about 20 years ago, before I met my husband, when I was with some women friends and we ran into a guy most of us knew in passing who was recently divorced. He spent the next 10 minutes trying to show each of us pictures of his 4 kyds then seemed confused when we all suddenly wanted to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!

That guy wanted a baby-sitter and banker with personal benefits, it was clear as day. His wife had run off and left him with the kyds so she could return to having a life.

The load on Craigslist sounds potentially worse.

I was dumb enough to friend some guy I knew in high school on Face fart a few months ago. He would post nice guy crap at least twice a day if not more. I couldn't un friend him because I didn't want the drama but I also know he's anything but "nice." It made me happy to get rid of the FB page altogether.

Paranoia, paranoia, paranoia, paranoid. I'm not sick, but I'm not well. They're all out to get me they're all out to get me, so are you. So are you. (Sung to the tune of Frere Jaques.)

I was friends with a self-proclaimed nice guy in college. This was back in the day of AIM. He was the sweetest person - until I rejected his advances. Then our friendship ended with him sending me a few "I guess you're just a bitch like all the others" type messages on AIM and me blocking him.

The way I see it, part of being "nice" is being humble. If you're going to go around all day tooting your own horn about how nice you are, you fail at nice.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

I was inspired to look at some CL men myself, always good for a few laughs!

Angry Man!
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/m4w/4038071452.html

You're not getting any younger!!! You dried up old prune! (NSFW)
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/m4w/4013595135.html

Conservative Christian Girl! Yes, CL is sure to be jam packed with those ~
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/m4w/3984874504.html

I want to MARRY YOU! Don't let the 'locked up' part bother you ~
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/m4w/4047561316.html

If you were born to ride and party!, Baby, Grampa's got some Jethro Tull and Uriah Heap records he wants to spin for you ~
(Includes Black Light and Incense! FAR OUT MAN!)
http://chicago.craigslist.org/sox/m4w/4047527241.html

Christians:

Here's a New Creation! In Christ Jesus! And he makes cookie pancakes too, it appears -
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/m4w/4047403211.html

This one is in Hobart, IN which is God's Own Paradise! And, he is no "holey roller" but he is a Christian Man! Father and Grandfather too! With a lovely photo spread of himself as well -
http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/m4w/4013240513.html

:crz :crz :crz

And people wonder why I'm single?

What I've learned from dating! (From a man) (MO)
This is what I've learned about dating

1. Looks are everything, it doesn't matter how nice or smart you are this is just a simple fact of life.
Fucking duh, especially when trying to wrestle out of your weight class. No one really gives a shit about how nice or smart you are, regardless of your gender. Looks close the deal. The rest is just gravy. Oddly enough those who whine the loudest about this are 2s and 3s trying for the 10s.
2. If you've been married before and have kids you are considered damaged goods! (Heard that from someone on here before)
Yeah, once again, going outside your paygrade never works. Those without kids don't want those who have them, by and large.
3. Never ask a woman questions or ask for a picture! (That's a death sentence right there)
Wanna bet the wrong questions were being asked, like marital/kid status, weight or what she looks like (see his #1 and 2).
4. Never tell a woman that you miss her, she will automatically feel guilty that she can't see you.
Most of the time, this is a guilt trip played by one to get the other to drop their lives to hustle on over to yours.
5. People don't want relationships, they may say that they do but it's a load of crap!
They do, but most of us hold out for Right, not just Right Now.
6. Nice men finish dead last, that's just the way it is.
Didn't Heartless Bitches cover this plaintive whine? My opinion: nice is a social tactic, not a character trait. Ted Bundy was a nice guy, too.
7. If you're not fit and active and don't work out 5 days a week you won't get the time of day with anyone.
Refer to his #1. My guess is he is shooting way out of his league.
8. If you're a smoker just forget it, plain and simple
Well, yeah, if all you go for are nonsmokers. But I bet most of the smokers are not fit and active, and have kids and are not model looking. Yanno, kind of like you.
9. To most people men and women's feelings and thoughts don't matter. I'm used to that one.
Because most of this is memememememinemineminemine.

So there you have it, this is what I've learned from dating whether it be online or in the real world.
It's sad that society has come to this, dating was so much easier when I was in my twenties and thirties.
Location: MO
http://stlouis.craigslist.org/rnr/4041905395.html

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

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It's sad that society has come to this, dating was so much easier when I was in my twenties and thirties.

When you were 30 pounds lighter, had all your hair, didn't have children and were able to hide your character flaws behind a facade of 'cool' instead of letting your desperation hang out there? Yeah, I'm sure all the differences in your success are entirely down to changes in society.