Adventures in the Commode: September 2013
Posted by Cambion
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Adventures in the Commode: September 2013 September 06, 2013 |
No worries, I have not forgotten about my fun little tradition here. And boy, do we ever have a shitload of shit this month! Let's see what we're all missing out on this month by not doing TMIJITW:
Reasons To Own A Baseball Bat
:
11-year-old cunt throws atomic tantrums when she does not get her own way. She has a superiority complex and money is very important to her. Not the posting Moo's brat, but her niece. Of course, people chime in to suggest she might be On The SpectrumTM. Uhh, no. She's a brat that needs to be slapped, and the longer she goes without a swollen hand print across her ass cheek, the longer she will behave this way.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1388711/how-to-handle-tantrums-in-preteen
:hardcore Ill-disciplined 8-year-old he-brat doesn't want to do his chores (or really anything he is asked to do), and when asked to do stuff, has fits about his "rights as a family member," how both his parents scream at him every single day and how Moo lied about a reading assignment from school. Moo tries to go into her room to send an email via iPad to the teacher to clarify and Junior followed her, screaming at her the whole way. So she tries to lock herself in the bathroom and the he-brat somehow prevents her from closing the door, all the while still screeching. He got a 10-minute time-out for all this. I would hogtie that little wanker and beat his ass until he couldn't walk if I was the Moo. But hey, this was from the GD forum, so of course nothing will actually happen. And as for one Moo there...NO it doesn't sound like a typical 8-year-old. It sounds like a spoiled brat that needs to be slapped.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389143/8-year-old-not-keeping-up-simple-responsibilities-freaking-out-a-lot
Woes of a Moo with a destructive retarded toadler. Among the shit Tardley does is chasing relatives with knives, beating siblings in the head hard enough to cause bleeding, broke a TV with a golf club that he somehow got out of a locked room, threw a knife at Duh, broke several coffee tables, opened a locked second-story window and threw paint cans out of it, and has caused $5000 worth of damage to the plumbing from putting stupid shit down the drains. He also likes to beat on the family dogs and seems to generally enjoy causing people pain. All that gets done is time-outs and they fail to work because he has to be physically held in place while kicking, punching and biting and the injuries Moo has sustained from his violent behavior prevent her from restraining him.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1388636/violent-3-year-old-advice-please
Moos with Logic Cancer
:bayybee Homebirf bloopers. One Moo claims that she knew better than the doctors that her loaf was just fine, so she faked pushing when told to push. My guess is a passive-aggressive tantrum over not being able to sluice on the living room floor. Another Moo almost died from Strep A following a stunt birth and claims that Smothering.com has removed her story more than once from their boards. A different Moo had an attempted home-birf and the loaf came out seizing and stroking out, resulting in a mega-tard. Of course, all these problems are the fault of the doctors...not because Moo did a half-shit in the kitchen and only when the loaf was hanging halfway out her vag with a broken shoulder and an umbilical noose did she decide to drag her bloated ass to the hospital. Some even complain about not having enough support when their home-birthed bastards come out dead.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1252296/anyone-else-with-a-traumatic-or-negative-homebirth-experience
Dumbshit teen Moo is a dumbshit. Stays with and gets pregnant by a physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abusive man who continues to beat her while she's in pig. Apparently she did not learn much watching her own father beat her mother half to death on a regular basis. TeenMoo even moved into her boyfriend's parents house, where he continued to abuse her. You're not a brave widdle soldier, Moo. You're a RETARD. Be fucking glad your baby-daddy didn't decide to wallop your bastard once he was done throwing you across the room.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389399/a-newly-single-teen-mom
"Can I get child support from my jobless deadbeat baby-daddy? If not, can I get it from HIS parents?" What do you think, Moo-tard? Should have thought of that shit before you bred with the loser.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1317043/if-he-has-no-income-can-i-get-child-support
:smn Do you celebrate your daughter's first period? Yeah, let's celebrate a bodily function that just about all human females are capable of doing! Guess they need to start conditioning their daughters to be happy about biological functions so they can do it when they grow up and get pregnant. Just like Mommy did.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1376013/do-you-celebrate-your-daughters-first-menstruation
Non-Discipline Follies
:mrd Another "on behalf of someone else" story. A Moo's 9-year-old decides to hack up a relative's wedding dress and the Moo narrator wants to know what an appropriate punishment would be. Here's a good one: Kick the girl's ass until it bleeds, buy the bride a new dress, and make the she-brat pay Moo back by taking any allowance or savings she has and selling anything of hers that has value (like iShit and laptops). A nine-year-old is more than old enough to know better than to cut up a fucking dress that isn't hers.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389259/on-behalf-of-a-friend-what-to-do-when-a-child-destroys-expensive-property-of-another
:baybie1 "I'm a good momma because I avoid punishing my child at all costs!" Tell us how that pans out in a few years when your child murders another kid for not sharing their teddy bear.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1387563/is-punishment-ever-necessary
Cornucopia of Bodily Fluids
:gross Beefer writes dumbass poem as she says goodbye to a decade of boobfeeding her three brats. Now who will help Mommy get moist when she doesn't have a man or a loaf to suck her tits?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1368248/saying-goodbye-to-breastfeeding-through-natural-weaning
Six-year-old piglet pisses on another child in the sandbox. Pissleigh is a girl too. If she keeps it up, she might have a future doing golden shower porn. Rub her nose in it if she's going to piss on people like an untrained animal. What a little hog.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1388341/child-peed-on-another-child
:BS Six weeks of elimination communication and Moo has not gotten Shitley to the toilet even once. Even better: They are renters! I know one disgusting family that won't be getting their security deposit back, and I feel bad for the landlord who has to clean up after these filthy hogs and their free-shitting loaf.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1374201/6-weeks-no-luck
2 "Do you ever worry about other people getting sick (from your unvaccinated child?" Of course they don't. All you immuno-compromised assholes can just get whooping cough because the cum dumplings can't get autism from the evil gubmint vaccines.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389404/do-you-ever-worry-about-getting-others-sick
:Violin Anti-vaxer bitching that her grown child is not being allowed to attend her college classes because she never got an MMR vaccine. Kent State doesn't do philosophical exemptions, so now Moo is going for religious exemption.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389101/philosophical-exemption-for-college
:crz Mom of the Year looking for a chickenpox party in Michigan so she can intentionally get her children sick. Why is this not considered child abuse again? There are other mothers who intentionally try to get their kids sick. They have Munchausen by proxy syndrome.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1387440/looking-for-pox-party-in-michigan
Reasons To Own A Baseball Bat
:
11-year-old cunt throws atomic tantrums when she does not get her own way. She has a superiority complex and money is very important to her. Not the posting Moo's brat, but her niece. Of course, people chime in to suggest she might be On The SpectrumTM. Uhh, no. She's a brat that needs to be slapped, and the longer she goes without a swollen hand print across her ass cheek, the longer she will behave this way.http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1388711/how-to-handle-tantrums-in-preteen
:hardcore Ill-disciplined 8-year-old he-brat doesn't want to do his chores (or really anything he is asked to do), and when asked to do stuff, has fits about his "rights as a family member," how both his parents scream at him every single day and how Moo lied about a reading assignment from school. Moo tries to go into her room to send an email via iPad to the teacher to clarify and Junior followed her, screaming at her the whole way. So she tries to lock herself in the bathroom and the he-brat somehow prevents her from closing the door, all the while still screeching. He got a 10-minute time-out for all this. I would hogtie that little wanker and beat his ass until he couldn't walk if I was the Moo. But hey, this was from the GD forum, so of course nothing will actually happen. And as for one Moo there...NO it doesn't sound like a typical 8-year-old. It sounds like a spoiled brat that needs to be slapped.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389143/8-year-old-not-keeping-up-simple-responsibilities-freaking-out-a-lot
Woes of a Moo with a destructive retarded toadler. Among the shit Tardley does is chasing relatives with knives, beating siblings in the head hard enough to cause bleeding, broke a TV with a golf club that he somehow got out of a locked room, threw a knife at Duh, broke several coffee tables, opened a locked second-story window and threw paint cans out of it, and has caused $5000 worth of damage to the plumbing from putting stupid shit down the drains. He also likes to beat on the family dogs and seems to generally enjoy causing people pain. All that gets done is time-outs and they fail to work because he has to be physically held in place while kicking, punching and biting and the injuries Moo has sustained from his violent behavior prevent her from restraining him.http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1388636/violent-3-year-old-advice-please
Moos with Logic Cancer
:bayybee Homebirf bloopers. One Moo claims that she knew better than the doctors that her loaf was just fine, so she faked pushing when told to push. My guess is a passive-aggressive tantrum over not being able to sluice on the living room floor. Another Moo almost died from Strep A following a stunt birth and claims that Smothering.com has removed her story more than once from their boards. A different Moo had an attempted home-birf and the loaf came out seizing and stroking out, resulting in a mega-tard. Of course, all these problems are the fault of the doctors...not because Moo did a half-shit in the kitchen and only when the loaf was hanging halfway out her vag with a broken shoulder and an umbilical noose did she decide to drag her bloated ass to the hospital. Some even complain about not having enough support when their home-birthed bastards come out dead.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1252296/anyone-else-with-a-traumatic-or-negative-homebirth-experience
Dumbshit teen Moo is a dumbshit. Stays with and gets pregnant by a physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abusive man who continues to beat her while she's in pig. Apparently she did not learn much watching her own father beat her mother half to death on a regular basis. TeenMoo even moved into her boyfriend's parents house, where he continued to abuse her. You're not a brave widdle soldier, Moo. You're a RETARD. Be fucking glad your baby-daddy didn't decide to wallop your bastard once he was done throwing you across the room.http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389399/a-newly-single-teen-mom
"Can I get child support from my jobless deadbeat baby-daddy? If not, can I get it from HIS parents?" What do you think, Moo-tard? Should have thought of that shit before you bred with the loser.http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1317043/if-he-has-no-income-can-i-get-child-support
:smn Do you celebrate your daughter's first period? Yeah, let's celebrate a bodily function that just about all human females are capable of doing! Guess they need to start conditioning their daughters to be happy about biological functions so they can do it when they grow up and get pregnant. Just like Mommy did.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1376013/do-you-celebrate-your-daughters-first-menstruation
Non-Discipline Follies
:mrd Another "on behalf of someone else" story. A Moo's 9-year-old decides to hack up a relative's wedding dress and the Moo narrator wants to know what an appropriate punishment would be. Here's a good one: Kick the girl's ass until it bleeds, buy the bride a new dress, and make the she-brat pay Moo back by taking any allowance or savings she has and selling anything of hers that has value (like iShit and laptops). A nine-year-old is more than old enough to know better than to cut up a fucking dress that isn't hers.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389259/on-behalf-of-a-friend-what-to-do-when-a-child-destroys-expensive-property-of-another
:baybie1 "I'm a good momma because I avoid punishing my child at all costs!" Tell us how that pans out in a few years when your child murders another kid for not sharing their teddy bear.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1387563/is-punishment-ever-necessary
Cornucopia of Bodily Fluids
:gross Beefer writes dumbass poem as she says goodbye to a decade of boobfeeding her three brats. Now who will help Mommy get moist when she doesn't have a man or a loaf to suck her tits?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1368248/saying-goodbye-to-breastfeeding-through-natural-weaning
Six-year-old piglet pisses on another child in the sandbox. Pissleigh is a girl too. If she keeps it up, she might have a future doing golden shower porn. Rub her nose in it if she's going to piss on people like an untrained animal. What a little hog.http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1388341/child-peed-on-another-child
:BS Six weeks of elimination communication and Moo has not gotten Shitley to the toilet even once. Even better: They are renters! I know one disgusting family that won't be getting their security deposit back, and I feel bad for the landlord who has to clean up after these filthy hogs and their free-shitting loaf.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1374201/6-weeks-no-luck
2 "Do you ever worry about other people getting sick (from your unvaccinated child?" Of course they don't. All you immuno-compromised assholes can just get whooping cough because the cum dumplings can't get autism from the evil gubmint vaccines.http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389404/do-you-ever-worry-about-getting-others-sick
:Violin Anti-vaxer bitching that her grown child is not being allowed to attend her college classes because she never got an MMR vaccine. Kent State doesn't do philosophical exemptions, so now Moo is going for religious exemption.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1389101/philosophical-exemption-for-college
:crz Mom of the Year looking for a chickenpox party in Michigan so she can intentionally get her children sick. Why is this not considered child abuse again? There are other mothers who intentionally try to get their kids sick. They have Munchausen by proxy syndrome.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1387440/looking-for-pox-party-in-michigan
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