Does this happen to you?

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cassia

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bell_flower
Yes it does happen all the time. People have no lives other than kids. I do have some decent PNB friends but one has been a particular disappointment of late. She retired and is giving up her life to watch her grand-brats. Yes, there are TWO grand brats, despite the fact her daughter was separated at the THREE MONTH mark and for reasons known only to her, got back with her husband and had TWO KIDS.

All my friend can talk about now is the cuuuute things they do, between bitching how tired she is an how she has no life. She's just been diagnosed with a very serious illness too and I could smack her selfish daughter.

If you don't have kids people can't think of anything else to discuss. Facebooger is all about teh bratz.

A stunning number of seniors that I have met are sacrificing most of their time, energy, space, privacy, money, etc for the grandchildren of their severely dysfunctional adult children.

And it doesn't always work out that well for those grandchildren. I know whereof I speak

The facts are that children/young people are put under the guardianship of someone separated from them by 50 - 60 years. There is a definite double generation gap, plus (to be slightly sympathetic toward the grandparents to whom I was farmed out) these folks have reached or are approaching an age where they simply do not have the physical and mental resources to finish out the nurturing of a child into young adulthood. And these kids may end up being exposed to the deterioration and death of a person at a time in their life when such experiences are jarring.

Most of the time, these situations don't turn out to be a Hallmark Movie: a young whippersnapper forced into the begrudging care of a senior citizen; resentment and unhappiness on both sides resolved at the end of a 2 hour movie with hugs, love and the sense that the coming together of mismatched generations is really a good thing, after all. In fact, I'd hazard a guess that few of these guardianships end up as a healthy relationship or a benefit to either side.

I hate squealing as well, but all bets are off if there is a puppy or kitten in the room, especially if there are Pug puppies involved. I cannot be held responsible for my squealing then.

Babies? meh. Puppies and kittens? Squeeeeeeeallllllll!

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chevygirl54
I hate squealing as well, but all bets are off if there is a puppy or kitten in the room, especially if there are Pug puppies involved. I cannot be held responsible for my squealing then.

Babies? meh. Puppies and kittens? Squeeeeeeeallllllll!

Threadjack: my pupsters have developed certain sounds to get attention that they know gets on my nerves. Anjin does a "woo" that escalates the longer I ignore her

"woo"

"WOO?"

"WOO woo!"

"AH WOOO woooo WOO!"

Yoshi makes what I call "skidmark" noises: "ruh ruh rrrrr rooooo."

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Dorisan

And it doesn't always work out that well for those grandchildren. I know whereof I speak
... In fact, I'd hazard a guess that few of these guardianships end up as a healthy relationship or a benefit to either side.

Right you are. I have a friend,"T" whose older sister ("S") was never terribly mature or kid-oriented at all. T & S's parents gave S a set of luggage for high school and were glad to have her out of the nest. She disappeared for several years, and then in her mid-twenties got knocked up by a boyfriend. Guy made it abundantly clear that he was NOT interested in anything long-term, and when she got pregnant he told her flat-out that he would not be sticking around or having any interest in being a father. S decided to have the baby and keep it anyway. Within the kid's first year the grandparents were applying for guardianship, because S was an immature, impatient, and abusive mother. They wound up raising the kid, and he was really too much for them. They wound up sending him off to a boarding school that specialized in troubled teenagers. I imagine there's plenty of grandparents raising grandkids that they'd love to ship off, too.

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randomcfchick
I imagine there's plenty of grandparents raising grandkids that they'd love to ship off, too.

Or the kid becomes a caretaker of the grandparent(s) at an age when they aren't yet mature enough for the responsibility.

When breeders bray "my kid will be wiping your ass when you get old!" (though I always wondered WHY they'd have that ambition for their brat), I can righteously holler back "BTDT!"

I was looking after aged grandparents in my teens. I know what my future might look like as an old person and am already laying plans for it. And while I'm sure it didn't influence my CF orientation - I consider myself just made that way - I had more than enough experience with helpless, infantile people to know that I didn't want to produce a newborn version of that.

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Dorisan

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randomcfchick
I imagine there's plenty of grandparents raising grandkids that they'd love to ship off, too.

Or the kid becomes a caretaker of the grandparent(s) at an age when they aren't yet mature enough for the responsibility.

When breeders bray "my kid will be wiping your ass when you get old!" (though I always wondered WHY they'd have that ambition for their brat), I can righteously holler back "BTDT!"

I was looking after aged grandparents in my teens. I know what my future might look like as an old person and am already laying plans for it. And while I'm sure it didn't influence my CF orientation - I consider myself just made that way - I had more than enough experience with helpless, infantile people to know that I didn't want to produce a newborn version of that.

Although it is not the same situation as above, your caretaker rant reminded me of my childhood.

My parents were immature alcoholics who could not see beyond their own needs, which mainly focused on the bottle in front of them.
Myself and my brother were badly neglected and abused.
For survival, I grew up at an early age and took on the majority of the adult (caretaker) roles in the household.

Basically, I was forced to raise myself and my brother from pre-school age onward and to a lesser degree I was doing some 'parental / caretaker role' to my parents.

After that who the hell want more of that caretaker/ parental role ???
Certainly not me !!