wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents!

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blondie

You want to keep it on the down low while you are here, or they will make your life hell. When my breeder monsters realized I was not here to serve them in life and death, they flipped the shit out. The moo let me know she was changing her "legal stuff" repeatedly. She was not intending to leave me shit anyway but she had to let me know. LOL, I'm so devastated. Then she sued me for part of my inheritance, knowing the legal bills to fight it would exceed the amount to settle. This is all because they realized the gravy train was over and they had to get in now as a last chance to rob the CF famblee member. Believe me, this all started with these little gift-grab events, then it went to asking for loans, then it went to expecting me to donate my time to their little dramas "to help the family", then it became outright stealing, and then I finally snapped.

The stress of being in this role of a human ATM, with no regards to our feelings or needs is really a significant form of abuse and not worth it. I will never be put in that position again but it went on for way too long. Unfortunately there is not a lot of help or empathy out there for people going through this and even a counselor told me that it is normal for families to behave like that and for me to basically suck it up.

Figure I was cut off the will when the Golden Parasite was born, they haven't threatened me with cutting me off yet. I don't need their inheritance and they can give their money/stuff to whoever they want. I don't accept invitations to events and don't extend any. Response to how Takeo and I are doing is we are busy with work and volunteering, zero mention of finances.

When I was doing my will the attorney said to give a reason to cut off the Cow, and the reason was she tried to kill me and never sought mental health services or apologized or showed remorse. Egg donor thinks I should be over it by now and should apologize to her for setting her off.

That article is just scary, as of right now my estate is pretty airtight. I'll call the attorney and double check for my peace of mind and keep track of court rulings in the US.

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exile

I think the charity debate is more centered around an older belief that charitys were swindling elders into putting the charity's name on the will, it was a big deal over ten years ago, the daught probably won on some technically surrounding such a belief, even though the dead mother probably honestly wanted money left to the charity.

I know my mums doing that when she dies, my brother and I ant getting squat.

This case was crystal clear though, the mother had written a letter specifically disinheriting her daughter with reasons. Even if she had left the money to a Nigerian prince or random strangers, she still was clear it should not go to her daughter. Shame on the "justice" system.

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blondie

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exile

I think the charity debate is more centered around an older belief that charitys were swindling elders into putting the charity's name on the will, it was a big deal over ten years ago, the daught probably won on some technically surrounding such a belief, even though the dead mother probably honestly wanted money left to the charity.

I know my mums doing that when she dies, my brother and I ant getting squat.

This case was crystal clear though, the mother had written a letter specifically disinheriting her daughter with reasons. Even if she had left the money to a Nigerian prince or random strangers, she still was clear it should not go to her daughter. Shame on the "justice" system.

ah no, i meant it as a possible loop hole that might exist, as a topic relevant idea, it dosent seem like it was used in this case, but i wonder how much previous case's like that weigh on more current outcomes like this one. this woman had some 30 years estranged, so their is very little likelihood of the daughter knowing if anything at all what the mother wanted in death. personal i think the bitch should have been happy with what she got and been happy the mother was no longer apart of her life in every sense.

if the people who knew the mother around the time of her end, knew her as an able minded person, they shouldn't have had any grounds to move on who she left what to, but it also matters how long before she passed did she make her final will? because if her last wishes were changed drastically in the last few months, someone might have been prying on her situation.

-in saying that, i do not believe charities have done that in this case, i'd hope that none do, but im sure that it dose happen. i just dont think the daughter should have gone to court over a dead persons wealth, thats just morbid.

It's just as bad where I work. Breeders gift grab for everything from the moment they make it public they're (or in some cases, their wives or girlfriends) knocked up. We actually had a baby shower for a man not too long ago because his wife doesn't work here but baaaayyyybeeees! After that announcement is made, it's one eight-month-long string of congratulations and gifts, gifts, gifts. Baby showers are put on your calendar as mandatory meetings and you have to go or it could go against you as not supporting your peers. It's them who made that choice, not me, and they're not entitled to my support for any reason whatsoever! But it's not just one lone baby shower for these cows, oh no. The PLEASE SIGN HERE AND CONTRIBUTE $$$ cards start circulating from that magical first announcement that opens the door to gimme-gimme-grabbing, and they don't stop till after the thing is born. And the thing is, you can't not give money because everyone knows everyone in my relatively small department and the organizers of these shenanigans always check off who has and hasn't donated--and they keep it in mind when considering whose birthday to celebrate and whose to "forget".

Guess who got "forgotten" this year.

_________________________________________________________________

"If your parenting didn't make him a sociopath the lack of it did." -Jessica Jones

@ aes sedai: baby shower for a MAN????? OMG
This "forgetting" of birthdays for those who don't contribute
is new to me - but all in all, breeders always find ways to blackmail
others to pay them attention and $$$$$$.

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mrs. chinaski
@ aes sedai: baby shower for a MAN????? OMG
This "forgetting" of birthdays for those who don't contribute
is new to me - but all in all, breeders always find ways to blackmail
others to pay them attention and $$$$$$.

Believe it. They even get paternity leave. It's bad enough the moos get so much maternity leave and such leniency with it here. They're responsible for nothing and all the weight falls on the people who bust their ass the most to begin with, and it isn't a coincidence that a number of us who get the brunt of the work are CF (even in this breeding mecca I know a few). Now the duhs are piggybacking on the piggos and taking advantage of their own opportunity for a free vacation that doesn't use any of their actual vacation days. Right, because they just squeezed a 9-pound bowling ball out of their penis. eyes2

_________________________________________________________________

"If your parenting didn't make him a sociopath the lack of it did." -Jessica Jones

This is a prime example for keeping financial information to yourself (and spouse/significant other if applicable). Nobody needs to know how wealthy or poor any couple or person is.

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evilchildlessbitch
This is a prime example for keeping financial information to yourself (and spouse/significant other if applicable). Nobody needs to know how wealthy or poor any couple or person is.

That can be tough to manage. Leeches will see your car, your clothes. If you have famblee holidays at your house, the breeders will see what you have. Even if, as a CF person you claim modest means to avoid problems, the moochers will sniff out what you're hiding from them by just walking into your living room, because it will probably be clean, and nicely furnished with sofas and chairs you can actually sit on. They could be from Ikea, and it would still be nicer than moo's. And heaven forbid you have any nice shoes, jewelry, antiques, or visible art work on display.

It can be hard to hide your financial status from famblee breeders, unless you completely cut them out of your life, or you only have holidays at their house, while driving a spare clunker to their place to avoid them knowing what you have.

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Peace

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evilchildlessbitch
This is a prime example for keeping financial information to yourself (and spouse/significant other if applicable). Nobody needs to know how wealthy or poor any couple or person is.

That can be tough to manage. Leeches will see your car, your clothes. If you have famblee holidays at your house, the breeders will see what you have. Even if, as a CF person you claim modest means to avoid problems, the moochers will sniff out what you're hiding from them by just walking into your living room, because it will probably be clean, and nicely furnished with sofas and chairs you can actually sit on. They could be from Ikea, and it would still be nicer than moo's. And heaven forbid you have any nice shoes, jewelry, antiques, or visible art work on display.

It can be hard to hide your financial status from famblee breeders, unless you completely cut them out of your life, or you only have holidays at their house, while driving a spare clunker to their place to avoid them knowing what you have.

I guess I just come from a family where money isn't discussed like that. My entire extended family (except my mooching sister and her husband) consider it extremely rude to ask for money unless it is a true emergency or make assumptions about finances. My in-laws are another story. They ask for money and loans and co-signing high dollar loans right before holidays or we go on vacation. It used to cause stress in my marriage but I have finally convinced my husband that "no" is a complete sentence. Any further attempts are met with "we are going to discuss this anymore."

And just to add to my last post, I find this behavior even more rude right before a major holiday like Christmas or right before people go on vacation. To me an emergency is something like my MIL finding out her last living sibling is getting ready to die and is going to get hit hard by a plane ticket bought on the fly. The woman is 82, her and her deceased husband worked their butt off but he had an extended illness before dying that drained a lot of their savings.
Not an emergency is SIL has plans to renovate her house and knows she needs a co-signer for the loan for months. She doesn't ask until the day they are supposed to close and calls my husband as we are eating breakfast at the airport on our way out of the country. Another example of not an emergency is demanding everyone just sit around, paying for their own hotel rooms of course, because her brat has a sinus infection and supposedly can't travel. Yeah, no to both.

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Techie
This article is just another proof of how selfish breeders have really become. To expect someone to just give to their kids, that is about as self centered as it gets, but, breeders lost all decency and keep expecting stuff to be handed to them.

But the interesting point is that they were not like that: my mother and my aunt were certainly not like that. I have VHS they recorded at christmas and party and not only they except nothing from others but they didn't even tak about children all the time, they had lot of other interests and their children were just one of them.

But the new generation of breeders is terrible, so terrible that even the older generation can't stand them and are happy they had their children in the past and not nowadays.
Today breeders show off their parenthood like it's an EMI or Oscars, every moment they talk about children and something they have done, they expect aunts/uncles to be their children slaves and buy them presents, they think parents and relatives should play with children all the time, they expect everyone to tolerate everything their children do and forbidden you for saying "NO" to them, they spend lot of money on the stupidiest things that any grandmother would call "useless" and "fads" and show millions of pictures of their children, always post corny and ridicolous quotes about parenthood on facebook and need millions of books to figure out the "best way to raise a kids" while parking them in front of 24/24 stupid children cartoon television.

I really can't imagine my aunt having the same pretentious, vitriolic, patronising attitude that modern breeders have. She was a really down on earth, non-sarcinist, humble woman that didnt' feel like Queen Elizabeth for delivering a baby nor she allowed her breeding to be the her only interest or topic of conversation or forbidding her from having time for herself.

I'm realizing that my dislike for parenting and children is caused by modern breeders, modern children and the stupid culture and political-correctness of the last 10 years.

@ evilchildlessbitch:
It is difficult to hide your finances / income because
there are jobs which are known to be well paid etc.

But in the end your finances / income don't matter.
Breeders think that every $ you have is one $ too much
and that it belongs to them because of the chyldren.
So unless you live in a tent from social welfare,
you are not safe.

I deal with this attitude on daily basis.

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mrs. chinaski
@ evilchildlessbitch:
It is difficult to hide your finances / income because
there are jobs which are known to be well paid etc.

But in the end your finances / income don't matter.
Breeders think that every $ you have is one $ too much
and that it belongs to them because of the chyldren.
So unless you live in a tent from social welfare,
you are not safe.

I deal with this attitude on daily basis.

Even being on social "welfare" is no safe harbor. I'm on SSD and uses to be on SSI. I cant tell you how many times I SAS hit up!

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I used to work at a job where I was the lowest paid person in the department and the only cf and single one. They often needed to borrow money for coffee from me. It took hell for me to get a raise. I had been dealing with serious health problems had huge medical bills but that was not important. They gave me a hard time about even working a real job, felt I could just freelance and work if and when I wanted to. Hello, I needed health insurance and a steady paycheck in order to live. Even serious illness isn't taken seriously if you are cf.

@ blondie: Breeders are POS. They simply disgust me.
It had to be horrible for you - being ill and no support anywhere :-(

@ craftyzits: so even they know that you live from "social welfare"
they still try to get money from you???
That's a new low, even for breeders.

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exile
As for weddings, I believe in marriage but I don't believe in wasting tens of thousands on ceramonys and crap I've never been interested in. I wouldn't so much call it eloping, but I'm much more for just getting marriage registered, with 2-4 witnesses present, and just doing our own thing. My parents arnt cool with it, not that I care, its not their wedding, they had my brothers horse drawn carriages style wedding.

I don't believe in those types of events either, but I respect other folks' right to engage in those things, if they want.

What they aren't permitted to do--yet do all the time--is expect people like you and I to finance those types of events. They help influence norms such as, "Your gift must be large enough to cover the cost of 'your plate' at the wedding."

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aes sedai
It's just as bad where I work. Breeders gift grab for everything from the moment they make it public they're (or in some cases, their wives or girlfriends) knocked up. We actually had a baby shower for a man not too long ago because his wife doesn't work here but baaaayyyybeeees! After that announcement is made, it's one eight-month-long string of congratulations and gifts, gifts, gifts. Baby showers are put on your calendar as mandatory meetings and you have to go or it could go against you as not supporting your peers. It's them who made that choice, not me, and they're not entitled to my support for any reason whatsoever! But it's not just one lone baby shower for these cows, oh no. The PLEASE SIGN HERE AND CONTRIBUTE $$$ cards start circulating from that magical first announcement that opens the door to gimme-gimme-grabbing, and they don't stop till after the thing is born. And the thing is, you can't not give money because everyone knows everyone in my relatively small department and the organizers of these shenanigans always check off who has and hasn't donated--and they keep it in mind when considering whose birthday to celebrate and whose to "forget".

Guess who got "forgotten" this year.

If I were elected to the US Congress or Senate, I would introduce a bill that would ban any solicitation for money or gifts within the workplace, regardless of the cause or the beneficiary.

Pandering for gifts and money within the workplace is a thinly-veiled form of workplace intimidation. That is all. There really is no right to refuse contribution to these things when you consider that the bosses are usually involved or at least made privy to who contributes and who does not. How do you think a "family friendly" boss is going to look upon those who don't contribute money in support of LifeScript events?

I can't speak for everyone here, but I go to work to WORK, and earn a living. I do not go to work to earn money to buy birthday cakes, throw bridal showers, or celebrate baybees. I don't care if people want to do that, but they should do it outside of the workplace and on their own time.

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craftyzits

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mrs. chinaski
@ evilchildlessbitch:
It is difficult to hide your finances / income because
there are jobs which are known to be well paid etc.

But in the end your finances / income don't matter.
Breeders think that every $ you have is one $ too much
and that it belongs to them because of the chyldren.
So unless you live in a tent from social welfare,
you are not safe.

I deal with this attitude on daily basis.

Even being on social "welfare" is no safe harbor. I'm on SSD and uses to be on SSI. I cant tell you how many times I SAS hit up!

Over many decades, I have given a tremendous amount of time and effort to help many social justice, and community causes.
Due to low-income (way below the poverty line) and multiple disabilities, the type of generous help that I give is almost always time and expertise, rather than actual money.
Frequently, my efforts have saved money or raised money for organizations/causes, raised their profile or allowed them to have greater quantity and more professional events.

Despite all of this, I am frequently being harassed for actual money and have to be on the defensive against pushy assholes.
In one organization, I had donated over 1,200 hours in a single year creating and running over 25 events, and yet had to deal ongoing hassles to donate money too!
In another group, I faced repeated hassling for money for a family that had already almost 5 times my income and yet were getting fundraisers! People were bugging me to fund people who had already started with way more money that I had !

In every case, after several rounds of polite refusals, and then a stern warning, I chose to leave the groups and wished them luck in getting someone else instead of me to manage and organize dozens of events and replace hundreds of hours per year of organizational skill.
Checking in years later, in every case, the groups that I chose to leave never recovered and became a shadow of themselves when I was donating so much skilled labour.

For full disclosure, I will admit I had a big wedding 5 years ago. My parents wanted it, paid for it and are not any form of public assistance. I would have eloped, but they chose to pay for the big white wedding. Their money, their choice. We didn't ask for cash or honeymoon extras. We paid for all of that. People expect others to fund their wedding, honeymoon or birthing choices are tacky.

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evilchildlessbitch
For full disclosure, I will admit I had a big wedding 5 years ago. My parents wanted it, paid for it and are not any form of public assistance. I would have eloped, but they chose to pay for the big white wedding. Their money, their choice. We didn't ask for cash or honeymoon extras. We paid for all of that. People expect others to fund their wedding, honeymoon or birthing choices are tacky.

That's perfectly fine. I have no problem with people choosing to spend their own money as they please.

My problem lies with LifeScripters who tell me that I should spend my money as they please!

When Mr. M6 and I got married, I told everyone, "No gifts, please!" We had two of everything, and didn't need anything for our house. People showered us with money, which I thought was extremely kind and generous.

Family also offered to purchase our wedding cake and flowers. I told them that we could afford it on our own, but they were so happy for us that they wanted to participate in the wedding. Really, I was overwhelmed by their graciousness and kindness. The wedding was a great success, and everyone was relaxed and had a great time.

I sent everyone thank you cards, and personally thanked them over the phone as soon as I could. I wanted them to know that their generosity was something that wasn't expected, but highly appreciated.

A gift is what it is. It is something given by someone to another person, as a token from the heart. A gift should never be expected. A gift should never be forced or extorted out of the other person in the workplace or otherwise. Then it is no longer a gift and the meaning is lost.

If the CF brother doesn't want to give gifts because he's tired of it being a one-way street, then that's HIS choice. The sister could have thought of that, and added a small token for them under the tree. Breeders can be extremely selfish. It's all about them, with no reciprocation.

@ cassia: That's even worse than what craftyzits posted :-(
I admire your patience and dedication to help others.

I have one old but funny story to the topic "wedding and gift grabs"

Years ago, acquaintances got married.
They refused gifts, they asked for money.
At that time, it was customary to give 50 EUR per person
so me and my BF (at that time) gave 100 EUR.
The wedding party was held at a restaurant. Food was horrible,
2 or 3 drinks were on the happy couple. If you wanted to
drink more, you had to pay yourself.
My BF talked to the happy couple after few weeks.
It turned out that they calculated the party in advance - like
how many people will come multiply with 50 EUR
and adjusted the catering so that they would make $$$$
out of the wedding. They made nearly 8.000 EUR.

They are of course breeders, as far as I know
they have one toadler.
And FYI they are not poor. The bride inherited 10
rental properties.

We did not ask for gifts or money (although I think of money as a gift and find it rude to specify cash only). We had no showers at work and only received gifts from people invited to the wedding who came. I could have honestly cared less about who gave what.
If somebody told me "no gifts" I would assume that meant no gifts, period.
The only time I can see specifying is in a situation like my cousin who was stationed in Germany but brought her 3 kids back to the US for Christmas. She asked that IF we gave gifts we do gift cards because of luggage limits flying back to Europe. In that case, it doesn't matter to me if I go to a store to buy stuff or a gift card.

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evilchildlessbitch
We did not ask for gifts or money (although I think of money as a gift and find it rude to specify cash only). We had no showers at work and only received gifts from people invited to the wedding who came. I could have honestly cared less about who gave what.
If somebody told me "no gifts" I would assume that meant no gifts, period.
The only time I can see specifying is in a situation like my cousin who was stationed in Germany but brought her 3 kids back to the US for Christmas. She asked that IF we gave gifts we do gift cards because of luggage limits flying back to Europe. In that case, it doesn't matter to me if I go to a store to buy stuff or a gift card.

I also find it rude to specify only cash, and I meant no gifts at all - including cash. I was shocked and surprised by how much we got, since we didn't expect it.

I would be irritated if someone told me to come to a wedding and bring cash only. I would probably end up with a horrendous migraine that day, and unable to attend. But then again, I can be a bitch that way.