Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 28, 2015 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 379 |
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blondie
You want to keep it on the down low while you are here, or they will make your life hell. When my breeder monsters realized I was not here to serve them in life and death, they flipped the shit out. The moo let me know she was changing her "legal stuff" repeatedly. She was not intending to leave me shit anyway but she had to let me know. LOL, I'm so devastated. Then she sued me for part of my inheritance, knowing the legal bills to fight it would exceed the amount to settle. This is all because they realized the gravy train was over and they had to get in now as a last chance to rob the CF famblee member. Believe me, this all started with these little gift-grab events, then it went to asking for loans, then it went to expecting me to donate my time to their little dramas "to help the family", then it became outright stealing, and then I finally snapped.
The stress of being in this role of a human ATM, with no regards to our feelings or needs is really a significant form of abuse and not worth it. I will never be put in that position again but it went on for way too long. Unfortunately there is not a lot of help or empathy out there for people going through this and even a counselor told me that it is normal for families to behave like that and for me to basically suck it up.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 28, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
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exile
I think the charity debate is more centered around an older belief that charitys were swindling elders into putting the charity's name on the will, it was a big deal over ten years ago, the daught probably won on some technically surrounding such a belief, even though the dead mother probably honestly wanted money left to the charity.
I know my mums doing that when she dies, my brother and I ant getting squat.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 28, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 606 |
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blondie
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exile
I think the charity debate is more centered around an older belief that charitys were swindling elders into putting the charity's name on the will, it was a big deal over ten years ago, the daught probably won on some technically surrounding such a belief, even though the dead mother probably honestly wanted money left to the charity.
I know my mums doing that when she dies, my brother and I ant getting squat.
This case was crystal clear though, the mother had written a letter specifically disinheriting her daughter with reasons. Even if she had left the money to a Nigerian prince or random strangers, she still was clear it should not go to her daughter. Shame on the "justice" system.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 29, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 256 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 30, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 30, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 256 |
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mrs. chinaski
@ aes sedai: baby shower for a MAN????? OMG
This "forgetting" of birthdays for those who don't contribute
is new to me - but all in all, breeders always find ways to blackmail
others to pay them attention and $$$$$$.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 30, 2015 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,788 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 30, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
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evilchildlessbitch
This is a prime example for keeping financial information to yourself (and spouse/significant other if applicable). Nobody needs to know how wealthy or poor any couple or person is.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 30, 2015 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,788 |
I guess I just come from a family where money isn't discussed like that. My entire extended family (except my mooching sister and her husband) consider it extremely rude to ask for money unless it is a true emergency or make assumptions about finances. My in-laws are another story. They ask for money and loans and co-signing high dollar loans right before holidays or we go on vacation. It used to cause stress in my marriage but I have finally convinced my husband that "no" is a complete sentence. Any further attempts are met with "we are going to discuss this anymore."Quote
Peace
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evilchildlessbitch
This is a prime example for keeping financial information to yourself (and spouse/significant other if applicable). Nobody needs to know how wealthy or poor any couple or person is.
That can be tough to manage. Leeches will see your car, your clothes. If you have famblee holidays at your house, the breeders will see what you have. Even if, as a CF person you claim modest means to avoid problems, the moochers will sniff out what you're hiding from them by just walking into your living room, because it will probably be clean, and nicely furnished with sofas and chairs you can actually sit on. They could be from Ikea, and it would still be nicer than moo's. And heaven forbid you have any nice shoes, jewelry, antiques, or visible art work on display.
It can be hard to hide your financial status from famblee breeders, unless you completely cut them out of your life, or you only have holidays at their house, while driving a spare clunker to their place to avoid them knowing what you have.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 30, 2015 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,788 |
Anonymous User
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 30, 2015 |
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Techie
This article is just another proof of how selfish breeders have really become. To expect someone to just give to their kids, that is about as self centered as it gets, but, breeders lost all decency and keep expecting stuff to be handed to them.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
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mrs. chinaski
@ evilchildlessbitch:
It is difficult to hide your finances / income because
there are jobs which are known to be well paid etc.
But in the end your finances / income don't matter.
Breeders think that every $ you have is one $ too much
and that it belongs to them because of the chyldren.
So unless you live in a tent from social welfare,
you are not safe.
I deal with this attitude on daily basis.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
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exile
As for weddings, I believe in marriage but I don't believe in wasting tens of thousands on ceramonys and crap I've never been interested in. I wouldn't so much call it eloping, but I'm much more for just getting marriage registered, with 2-4 witnesses present, and just doing our own thing. My parents arnt cool with it, not that I care, its not their wedding, they had my brothers horse drawn carriages style wedding.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
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aes sedai
It's just as bad where I work. Breeders gift grab for everything from the moment they make it public they're (or in some cases, their wives or girlfriends) knocked up. We actually had a baby shower for a man not too long ago because his wife doesn't work here but baaaayyyybeeees! After that announcement is made, it's one eight-month-long string of congratulations and gifts, gifts, gifts. Baby showers are put on your calendar as mandatory meetings and you have to go or it could go against you as not supporting your peers. It's them who made that choice, not me, and they're not entitled to my support for any reason whatsoever! But it's not just one lone baby shower for these cows, oh no. The PLEASE SIGN HERE AND CONTRIBUTE $$$ cards start circulating from that magical first announcement that opens the door to gimme-gimme-grabbing, and they don't stop till after the thing is born. And the thing is, you can't not give money because everyone knows everyone in my relatively small department and the organizers of these shenanigans always check off who has and hasn't donated--and they keep it in mind when considering whose birthday to celebrate and whose to "forget".
Guess who got "forgotten" this year.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,003 |
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craftyzits
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mrs. chinaski
@ evilchildlessbitch:
It is difficult to hide your finances / income because
there are jobs which are known to be well paid etc.
But in the end your finances / income don't matter.
Breeders think that every $ you have is one $ too much
and that it belongs to them because of the chyldren.
So unless you live in a tent from social welfare,
you are not safe.
I deal with this attitude on daily basis.
Even being on social "welfare" is no safe harbor. I'm on SSD and uses to be on SSI. I cant tell you how many times I SAS hit up!
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,788 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,308 |
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evilchildlessbitch
For full disclosure, I will admit I had a big wedding 5 years ago. My parents wanted it, paid for it and are not any form of public assistance. I would have eloped, but they chose to pay for the big white wedding. Their money, their choice. We didn't ask for cash or honeymoon extras. We paid for all of that. People expect others to fund their wedding, honeymoon or birthing choices are tacky.
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,788 |
Re: wahhhhhh my wealthy childfree brother isnt buying our kids xmas presents! July 31, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
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evilchildlessbitch
We did not ask for gifts or money (although I think of money as a gift and find it rude to specify cash only). We had no showers at work and only received gifts from people invited to the wedding who came. I could have honestly cared less about who gave what.
If somebody told me "no gifts" I would assume that meant no gifts, period.
The only time I can see specifying is in a situation like my cousin who was stationed in Germany but brought her 3 kids back to the US for Christmas. She asked that IF we gave gifts we do gift cards because of luggage limits flying back to Europe. In that case, it doesn't matter to me if I go to a store to buy stuff or a gift card.