How millenials learned to dread motherhood

Why does she make it sound like a bad thing? To our generation, being a mom looks thankless, exhausting, and lonely. Can we change the story?

I think it is a great thing, millenials are evaluating their options carefully. They deserve to carve out the best path for themselves.

I don't agree with this though:

Quote
Sociologist quote
With student loans, the cost of child care and housing payments … this is really the first generation who go to public schools and still end up massively in debt.”

Gen X here, I went to public school and still ended up massively in debt. I wouldn't be surprised if the same happened to Baby Boomers. The days of getting a great job right out of high school ended with the early Baby Boomers if not before that.

And my grandparents had pensions. The pensions they had were enough to sustain them. They vacationed rarely and cheaply and did okay because they budgeted, lived in smallish houses, all worked on both sides and all had pensions. All of them worked until retirement age and there was no parent staying at home. There is so much talk about how generous pensions are and that is reality for a tiny minority only.

I think we can thank the vast number of online resources where resentful Moos gather to bitch and moan about every aspect of their lives after kids under the cloak of anonymity - depression, birth injury, loss of autonomy/identity, weight gain, worthless husbands, costs of child care, autistic kids, terrible in-laws, domestic abuse, zero sleep, zero free time, poverty, stress, and plenty more.

All you have to do is read any of these stories to learn how much parenthood blows. It's not a big secret anymore.

Quote
Author says it right here
Previous generations “did not experience the same vocal outward world that we’re living in today where everybody is telling you it’s almost crazy for you to have children,”

Pair this with the fact that jobs don't pay shit and everything is expensive as fuck and sometimes even people who want kids don't have them because they are cost prohibitive. I've seen plenty of women complain that they work full time and their whole paycheck goes to child care, so they choose to be SAHMs, which means they become fully financially dependent on their husbands (which as we all know can lead to trouble if their relationships get rocky).

Restrictions on abortions are probably making some women be much more careful about contraception to prevent pregnancy, quite possibly even ones who want kids because of the off chance they develop a dangerous pregnancy and won't be able to abort.

I think it's simply just more young adults are actually THINKING about whether or not breeding is a good idea instead of just jumping into it head first because "having kids is just what you do when you grow up." With the help of bitchy Moos spilling their guts across the internet about how horrible their lives are due to breeding, this probably makes the choice even easier for some people.

Motherhood should be dreaded because it is unfulfilling, thankless, stressful, difficult, and not worth the trouble it causes. I guarantee you anything that at LEAST a handful of times in their lives, even people who 100 percent wanted their kids will look at their screeching bastard and experience regret. If they say they have never felt that way, they are lying. I personally think the people who opt out of reproducing deserve praise for realizing they don't want kids before having them and not succumbing to societal pressures. Because a lot of people don't figure out they don't want kids until after they have them.

I left a few comments. one of the comments was the typical male puffery and calling those iwthout kids unhappy. doubt my comments will see the light of dayy

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

The comments are generally

They are generally from people who didn't think they wanted to have kids and now they luv them. Yawn.

They are clearly missing the point of the article.

Millenials should dread motherhood. I think anyone who has kids right now is insane because of the impending climate disaster and because of how expensive everything is.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/28-old-former-child-prodigy-180312564.html

Dreading it is good. I am seeing more of these articles in todays expensive world where 30 year olds are deciding to live at home until their parents die. This one "prodigy" can't go back to the real world now and is telling his parents they had better buy him that apartment he wanted if he is to get his Ph'd.

All these dumbass commenters hate posting on the CF with their sprogs sceaming in the background may find themselves trying to legally kick out a 30 year old 25 years from now.

I heard about this pool from USA today on the news

Sixty Five percent of parents are still supporting their adult children. Parents in California, Washington and Virginia average over $800 per month.

Crazy.

Nod. It isn't possible for most to support themselves.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

the whole things is these stupid ahole breeders and the powers that be will use this to demand that the brood sows are given more $$$. and of course, since whatever gubmint subsidizes, multiples all the sows and dicks will do is breed even more into existence. the whining level will merely increase... (see my black hole analogy)

oops, the bh analogyy is no longer in signature
"man and it's needs/wants are like unto a black hole. it devours all available resources, never is satisfied and merely grows larger and demands more"

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I'm glad being CF is becoming more acceptable among young adults. Some of it is becz careful analyzation of the real world, but if you read platforms where the age range is skewed toward the younger, there seems to be a leaning to where they are 'just babies' (in their mid-30s) themselves and dont feel ready for this or that or anything.

So this feeling is going beyond the debt they have and the economy. I would hate, and I know we on the CF board were rightly offended to be called immature for not wanting kids, but this literally is what they are saying online w/ a string-ful of comments nodding their heads in agreement. As we discussed while this generation was growing up, and now 'grown-up", they dont seem to be ready for anything emotionally, including *wanting* to move out of their parents homes(even before economy), *wanting* their adult job (or any job for that matter), and sticking to it even when they dont like it...til they get a new one, many dont really date, dont have long term relationships, dont have friends (the loneliest generation), some barely have sex, dont buy cars or want to drive, they dont 'want material things' but do spend on phones/gaming systems and tech like it is a new altar, tag along on all their parents vacations, it goes on and on. Like we said when it was happening, their parents were making it too ez on them, helicoptering them, keeping them very very safe!!!!, giving them 0 chores, no after school or summer jobs, and supporting every bad choice they made. No boundaries, no consequences, no follow thru. Now they are not ready for the term they invented "adulting".

I felt adult enough in HS, definitely in college while salivating at the idea of getting my own apt, biding my time to get my real job after college and start my life w/ my then BF, now Husband. While living w/ my parents, I paid for my own clothes, toiletries, ate out a lot bcz I was never home w/ FT school and PT to almost FT work. If I didnt do something right around the house or school, I heard about it!!! I lived like a semi-adult, but I didnt have rent to pay. Otherwise, I was on my own. I felt CF since I was around 9, seeing dreadful moohood for what it was came along much later and just sealed the deal for me.

I'm all for not living by a LifeScript, but they are not doing much of anything, and doing it all while living off of their parents who are well into their 60s and maybe 70s. It's fucking ridic.

They literally dont want the responsibility of nothing and they themselves believe themselves to be too young/immature to do anything even they are well into their late 20-early 30s. As some of these comments noted, my pals are not getting what the paid for by raising these kids, becuz who the hell thought they would still be 'helping' and supporting them as they inched toward 70! I'm almost shocked when a childed pal's kid does move out and everything is going smoothly. Ya hear so much of the opposite. So, I do admire a true new CF if they are independent and living like an adult on their own. But if they are CF bcz they are dreading moohoo just bcz it is part of Adulthood and what they really dread is being grown-up at 35, I dont have that much respect for that if you know what I mean.