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TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile

Posted by reaperess 
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 05, 2011
Quote
micah
My girlfriend held the stick between her thumb and index finger as I twitched with an anxiousness that gripped me like a twining vine. The rate of my breathing increased as her eyes scanned the reading on the stick. I searched her face for clues the instant that the reality sank into her mind. A tear streamed down her cheek, alerting me to the situation that we now faced. She nodded slowly before wiping the solitary trail from her face.

"Are you serious?" I asked with profound disbelief.

"Positive," she emotionally replied, her arms dropping to her sides.

I leaned toward her and kissed her gently on the cheek. As a couple, we now had some decisions to make.

"Who'da thought it?" I posed in a hushed tone, the shock still fresh.

She looked at me, a smile slowly forming on her face.

"I just can't believe it," I stammered. "Of all the Popsicles in the country, you get the one with the stick that has the $50,000 grand prize stamped on it!"

"Yes!" my dearest love exclaimed as she hugged me firmly and kissed me on the lips. She held up the winning Popsicle stick in full view. "I told you I was positive didn't I?"

"Yes you did, baby." I instantly replied. "Thank goodness that wasn't a pregnancy test!"

We both laughed, knowing the notion of us ever procreating was just plain absurd
.

Well, that's my TNTC story. Fictional of course. winking smiley


thumbs upwink

Those piss on stick tests commercials with the fugly couples on it who get all teary eyed as it obviously says, "KNOCKED UP!, make me sick. The ONLY reason to get misty eyed is for RELIEF on a negative reading and the anticipation of PAIN if it's a positive. I can't even begin to imagine being overjoyed and teary eyed upon learning that I was knocked up.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 05, 2011
Let's see-- I have been TNTC for 12 years now.... Nothing to sneeze at, though I'm definitely not a seasoned veteran yet. Like another poster here (dreamlife) said, all those ruined panties and raging cramps used to bother me, but now they have become things of beauty. bouncing and laughing This month, my brand-new panties, too, were befouled... when my body informed me, a wee bit early, of its sprog-free state.

O sweet prophylactics and common sense.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 05, 2011
I am not pregnant because I don't have a male partner, period.smile rolling left righteyes2
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 05, 2011
Quote
kidlesskim
thumbs upwink

Those piss on stick tests commercials with the fugly couples on it who get all teary eyed as it obviously says, "KNOCKED UP!, make me sick. The ONLY reason to get misty eyed is for RELIEF on a negative reading and the anticipation of PAIN if it's a positive. I can't even begin to imagine being overjoyed and teary eyed upon learning that I was knocked up.

I'd like to see a preggy test commercial where the woman shows her man that she's pregnant, and he responds by picking up a honeydew melon. "Better you than me. I don't wanna shit out one of these."
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 05, 2011
Dorisan, I was responsible for the Sneaky post. Tom, it was meant as parody. I realized after I posted it that it was treading a fine line between parody and looking trollish.Sorry if it upset anyone,and just wanted to let ya know it wasn't a troll post, just poorly thought out , but meant as a joke.

On a happier note, I began feeling emotional today, and am all aquiver with anticipation knowing soon will be the moment when my copper bouncer escorts another angel egg out the door so it can have a proper "burial at sea" . :Violin
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 06, 2011
Two days ago, my thoughts were confirmed. My body, shining miracle that it is, shed its uterine lining and a darling angel egg.

I decided to collect my goddess nectar and drink it for its special, magical, healing, beautifying, energizing, beautiful, unique, extraordinary, arcane, spectacular, wonderous properties. I mixed it with pomegranate juice, because the fruit reminds me of my own special ovary, with its many seed-eggs in its round, ruby shell.

I placed my goddess nectar in a wineglass with pomegranate juice to fill it to the top. I then swirled it together with my favorite glass dildo. I sway-danced around my apartment to Yanni and Enya, sipping my powerful cocktail and letting some drip down my chin and onto my tender breasts.

As I finished the goblet of pomegranate-goddess nectar, I felt a surge of power!

Beams of golden light flowed from my hands! A breeze swirled around me! Wind chimes sounded, although I do not own any! A rainbow appeared in my living room!

I was able to clean my whole apartment in fifteen minutes. I immediately lost fifty extra pounds. My wardrobe even shrank magically to fit the new me. I no longer need glasses. I immediately got a call from my boss and I am earning twice what I was earning before I drank my delicious juices. My teeth are now completely straight and whiter than a movie star's. I am able to play multiple musical instruments and speak 6 languages.

All this is due to my drinking my glorious menstrual extractions. I am a magical, special creature.

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 06, 2011
Quote
reaperess
Two days ago, my thoughts were confirmed. My body, shining miracle that it is, shed its uterine lining and a darling angel egg.

I decided to collect my goddess nectar and drink it for its special, magical, healing, beautifying, energizing, beautiful, unique, extraordinary, arcane, spectacular, wonderous properties. I mixed it with pomegranate juice, because the fruit reminds me of my own special ovary, with its many seed-eggs in its round, ruby shell.

I placed my goddess nectar in a wineglass with pomegranate juice to fill it to the top. I then swirled it together with my favorite glass dildo. I sway-danced around my apartment to Yanni and Enya, sipping my powerful cocktail and letting some drip down my chin and onto my tender breasts.

As I finished the goblet of pomegranate-goddess nectar, I felt a surge of power!

Beams of golden light flowed from my hands! A breeze swirled around me! Wind chimes sounded, although I do not own any! A rainbow appeared in my living room!

I was able to clean my whole apartment in fifteen minutes. I immediately lost fifty extra pounds. My wardrobe even shrank magically to fit the new me. I no longer need glasses. I immediately got a call from my boss and I am earning twice what I was earning before I drank my delicious juices. My teeth are now completely straight and whiter than a movie star's. I am able to play multiple musical instruments and speak 6 languages.

All this is due to my drinking my glorious menstrual extractions. I am a magical, special creature.

Okay-- reading this just made my morning.

Was there a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in your living room?

My 'goddess nectar' is all gone, for this month. Must remember to collect it in February. waving hellolarious
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 06, 2011
This morning I saw a tampon commercial and burst into tears over my lost Angel Eggs. Hold me!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 06, 2011
Quote
nautilus


Okay-- reading this just made my morning.

Was there a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in your living room?

My 'goddess nectar' is all gone, for this month. Must remember to collect it in February. waving hellolarious

Sadly, no pot of gold. My pot of gold is that I'll never even have a placenta to be tempted (or not. really not.) to drink *gak*.

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 07, 2011

Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 07, 2011
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 07, 2011
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!

There are inconveniences, sure. However, I do love being female. I'm not sure what I'd do if I had dangly bits to contend with! I've heard men can actually accidentally *sit* on them. YIKES!!!

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 07, 2011
Quote
reaperess
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!

There are inconveniences, sure. However, I do love being female. I'm not sure what I'd do if I had dangly bits to contend with! I've heard men can actually accidentally *sit* on them. YIKES!!!

And unfortunate zipper accidents can occur!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
I was so excited to be able to tell the triage nurse at the ER last night that I was DEFINITELY NOT pregnant. Score!!!

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!

What does not wanting to get pregnant have to do with sex change operations? "Transitioning" has way too many risks (health, social, emotional, psychological, etc.) and it is way to expensive to go through if a person doesn't identify as and want to live as a male. Not to mention that you have to be "cleared" to undergo the "sex change" surgeries in the first place. If a CF woman has sex with men, there are numerous ways she can lower or eliminate her ability to get pregnant without undergoing "sex change" surgery.

By your logic, you might as well transition (making sure to undergo various "bottom" surgeries, too) so that there is no way you can impregnate a woman. winking smiley
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!

I used to sometimes wish I was a man, but only because I hated the fact that if a pignasty occurs, a man can walk away from the wreckage,or at least stand clear, but a woman has to hurry to fix the problem and deal with much social bullshit and disaproval in the process, or else she BECOMES the wreckage.

Now that I have read the POV of others, I realize that men have an equally terrible danger in that they ultimately are at the other person's mercy if they impignate a woman.

The obvious solution for either gender is what I did, so, now that I'm basically wreck proof, and know plan b is there if needed , I am quite happy being female.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
I vomited this morning. When I was finished, I thought to myself how glad I am that my barfing was a result of heavy drinking the night before and NOT because of pignancy! Because I am TNTC, AND because I've had a hysterectomy, my worries about carrying a parasite for 9 months are over! Go me! Go me! Go me! Uh oh! Damn I shouldn't have drank so much last night, gotta go puke again. Hooray!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
Quote
reaperess
Two days ago, my thoughts were confirmed. My body, shining miracle that it is, shed its uterine lining and a darling angel egg.

I decided to collect my goddess nectar and drink it for its special, magical, healing, beautifying, energizing, beautiful, unique, extraordinary, arcane, spectacular, wonderous properties. I mixed it with pomegranate juice, because the fruit reminds me of my own special ovary, with its many seed-eggs in its round, ruby shell.

I placed my goddess nectar in a wineglass with pomegranate juice to fill it to the top. I then swirled it together with my favorite glass dildo. I sway-danced around my apartment to Yanni and Enya, sipping my powerful cocktail and letting some drip down my chin and onto my tender breasts.

As I finished the goblet of pomegranate-goddess nectar, I felt a surge of power!

Beams of golden light flowed from my hands! A breeze swirled around me! Wind chimes sounded, although I do not own any! A rainbow appeared in my living room!

I was able to clean my whole apartment in fifteen minutes. I immediately lost fifty extra pounds. My wardrobe even shrank magically to fit the new me. I no longer need glasses. I immediately got a call from my boss and I am earning twice what I was earning before I drank my delicious juices. My teeth are now completely straight and whiter than a movie star's. I am able to play multiple musical instruments and speak 6 languages.

All this is due to my drinking my glorious menstrual extractions. I am a magical, special creature.

I love it! Now I know what I am going to do in a few days when the blessed flow starts.

As far as being a man. I always wished I was a man for many reasons, first was because fundy males have more rights. The other was so that I did not have a monthly visit or scare of getting INPIG. I also think it is way easier for men to orgasm than women. The only bonus is we can have many.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!




I choose not to have a sex change operation because I am a female who has no desire to be a male, even though I honestly feel that men in general have more choices, opportunities, and less biological bullshit worries. Since I am a heterosexual female, becoming a male would completely destroy any opportunity to interact with men satisfactorily on most every level and especially sexually. In addition to that. removal of sexual organs and erogenous zones of a non transgendered biological female would GREATLY diminish sexual responses and sensations, at least in me I believe that it would. Since a biological and functional life-like, feeling, and orgasmic penis has yet to be invented, that experience could never be had either as a female to male.

Someone who changes gender via surgery and hormonal medications is generally changing it because they feel that they were born into the wrong gendered body and it's a psychological improvement to them to be biologically "correct".The biological trade offs that I mentioned above are worth it to them to be and live as the correct sex. Unless a man is transgendered, he would cringe at the thought of his sexual organs being removed and it's no different for a woman. I would imagine that life would be at least as difficult for a FTM transgendered person as it is to continue on as a female for a myriad of reasons. NOT having baybees can be remedied in many other non life altering ways, so to change from female to male with this being the sole purpose is foolish and stupid.IMO.two cents

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
I'm definitely TNTC. I've had Essure! I've even been confirmed it took!!!!!! My fiance and I even do it like rabbits "just to make sure". So far.....No negative results! We celebrated our excitement by enjoying adult drinks and some more sexy time. We also do what we want, when we want. Hooray for TNTC!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
Ok, I'm sorry I was just kind of joking around. But with all the aggravations women have, I'm still glad to be a man!smug
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
I'm proud to share that I've been TNTC for almost 15 years. It feels great to know that I will never have to endure the disappointment and heartache of raising yet another regular 'ol boring human being. All the pain, discomfort and body destruction... Not for me!


Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 09, 2011
Though I occasionally joke about my period and how awful it is... well, frankly speaking, it's not bad at all, and I would never wish to be a man. I love men, of course... blushing... but being a female is wonderful in myriad ways.

Menstrual cramps can be unpleasant at times, but for me they are not terrible, and sometimes they are simply non-existent. Once in a while there will be some pain-- typically during the first day. The bleeding only lasts for maybe four days. No big deal. The real annoyance is the potential for blood-stains on clothing. smile rolling left righteyes2 Sorry if that is too much information!

In my opinion, being a female has more pros than cons... and most of the cons have to do with fearing violence from men.

Regarding TNTC-- I am absolutely desperate to become sterile, but wonder if any doctor would be willing to do a tubal on me (as I'm only 27). Yuck-- why are doctors so freaking concerned with what I do with MY body? It is none of their business. Well... I suppose everyone knows why they want it to be their bu$ine$$. Greedy bastards.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!

i have considered it...if for no other reason than i can pee on a tree or in a cup when need be...

i have been tntc conceive since i was first blessed with the flow of my uterine lining. i sometimes sit and think of all of the things i am missing-bailing my cherub out of the police station for the first time, learning he has killed someone in a car accident, parent teacher conferences over his bullying, watching his success at being an infamous serial killer.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
After reading blondie's suggestion, I have realized that I have not really done enough to commemorate my TNTC status. I am getting one drop of blood tattooed to my inner thigh for every time I have successfully NCed, and I am also considering getting a halo over where each ovary is located, and maybe some angel wings on either side of the chute, if you don't think that would be too tacky. Please advise.
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