Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

Quote
reaperess
I was babystalked at the grocery store last night. By a package of bread.

It was called "crusty baTARD LOAF." I died laughing, and my friend just looked at me like I was nuts.

I would've cracked up, too. What do you bet that if some moo saw it, she'd get all offended, and shit.

Ya know, after being on this board for a while.. the word 'LOAF' isn't as benine a word as it used to be.

Stalked by Popular Science?

Had to get the hair cut today. In addition to realizing my hair is no longer brown with some red, now if I let it grown I'd look like freaking Gandolf, Dumbledore, or Ira fucking Einhorne there was a couple of screaming brats. To try and focus on something else I picked up the Feb Issue of Popular Science

WTF

http://www.popsci.com/diy/article/2013-01/you-built-what-worlds-fastest-baby-carriage?single-page-view=true

You Built What?!: The World's Fastest Baby Carriage

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Quote
thom_c
You Built What?!: The World's Fastest Baby Carriage

All the better to propel the brat off a cliff...preferably with the breeders still hanging onto it.

----------
michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

Quote
thom_c
http://www.popsci.com/diy/article/2013-01/you-built-what-worlds-fastest-baby-carriage?single-page-view=true

You Built What?!: The World's Fastest Baby Carriage

This device is just a motorhead excuse to create another extreme build.
It has nothing to do with a child and will never have one inside the 'baby carriage'.
It is stupid excuse to attention whore.

Quote
Snark Shark

Quote
thom_c

You Built What?!: The World's Fastest Baby Carriage

but we already HAVE that. It's called MA DUGGARS CUNT.

Dammit, this made me spew coffee all over my keyboard.

I was at Barnes & Noble, crouched down, looking at a book on the bottom shelf when I heard a distant "hi...hi...hi" coming up behind me. You know how some brats like to go on a little world tour of the store demanding a greeting from everyone they barge into.

I stared down at my book, hoping he would get the hint. I could feel the little brat right up behind me and after enduring several more "hi's", he paused, in shock, and yelled "YOU'RE MEAN!!". He then stormed off after his next victim, while the stupid Moo vaguely followed several steps behind him with a dumb, oblivious smile on her face.

Just one of the many times a trip to the bookstore was ruined by one of those creatures...

And you know that the 'you're mean' comment is something the moo told him. I can hear it now. "Snotleigh, if you say HI to someone and they don't say HI back then they are MEAN. Now go off and find some mean people."
I remember being told by my mother that.... 'If you say HI to someone and they don't say anything back, it only means that they are busy with something and we shouldn't bother them'
I was very young when my mothert told me that (maybe 3) and I remember it. (she probably repeated it a few times over the next couple years)
These parunts are always preaching 'stranger danger' and then let their little attention grabbers go and say HI to anyone they want and expect a response. Can we all say 'double standard?

Cannot stand that "hi hi hi hi hi" routine. While the parent stands right there, sometimes oblivious ("I can zone out any time I want to, and it's the village's responsibility to take over when I do") and sometimes not oblivious but instead deliberately siccing their toadlers on us to stalk for attention in the vain hope we'll actually engage with the kid and then turn to shower attention on the moo, with a wide smile on our face, and exclaim "Toadley is just adorable!!!"

No.

I too had the kind of parents who actively discouraged toadler-stalking and expected us to not bother people. They actually watched us, even if they were bizzy parunts, and didn't let us wander down an aisle ahead of them. If we had toadlered two feet away up to someone and barked out hi hi hi hi hi then one of my parents would have dropped what they were doing, no matter how bizzy they were, picked us up, said a quick apology without expecting to hear lavishing praise, and would have moved us out of that person's way.

We were taught to show respect to adults and would never have dared to speak to any adult that way, even when we were small toadlers. No toadler who is capable of walking and calling someone MEAN is too small for age-appropriate correction and re-direction. If, in an alternate universe, we had ever dared to do such a thing as yell at an adult that they were MEAN, yes even if we were just tiny widdle toadlers, one of our parents would have taken control of the situation by telling us not to talk that way, removing and distracting us immediately, plus apologising to the other person and not expected that person to be 'understanding and compassionate' and everything else the moos mooooo about whenever someone criticizes some moo's or duh's lack of parenting skills.

Toadler in B&N may be "just a widdle toadler!" but is not too young to be called an obnoxious little turd who is being trained to be demanding and to be rude to others. He is NOT to young to have his moo immediately correct him when he tells someone they're MEAN, and say to him "Toadley, we do not speak that way," then have moo apologise to you, and then have moo pick up Toadley and take him to another part of the store.

Short version: Me, purchasing some stuff in Staples on the way to work.

Pathway partially blocked by oblivious female biped and barely ambulatory biped.

Oblivious female starts blubbering about "look who's walking...." or some such. So?
Get outta my way, sheeple. I manage to sidestep and pay no attention to them and
make my way to the check out line, wait, purchase my goods and prepare to depart.

What do I see when I reach the parking lot? Said female biped, staring enviously at
a brand new 2013 Hyundai Veloster in an eyepoppingly beautiful blue...while trying
to load the barely ambulatory biped into some sorta 'stupid fertility vehicle' (which I've
seen referred to around here as an EssMooVee).

Said female biped continues to longingly ogle the Veloster--I beep my keyfob to unlock
and remotely start my car and its eyes nearly bugg out of its head...

As I'm getting into my shiny, new car, I can't help myself...

"Yes, it's beautiful isn't it? ...and I can have one of -these-, because I don't have one of
-those-..." (nodding in the general direction of said barely ambulatory biped)

"...and best of all, I'm not regretting my choice of "midlife crisis" as much as you apparently
are..."

I drive off to my swingshift job, some Rob Zombie playing, sunroof open and enjoying my
nice, spiffy new car...and I'm thankful I've been married 12 years, to a guy who's as child-
free as I am...and thanking the USAF for the best wedding present I could've ever gotten:
a much-needed hysterectomy!

Cheers,

An Iron Butterfly

Lol! Iron Butterfly, did you really say that? What did she say?

Hmm...I hope old stories count, because I have one that marked the turning point for me. It was the point where I realized I really hated people's bratty kids, and I've had to keep it a secret all this time until I found this forum.

I was at my sister's home for Christmas. At the time, her kids were like 3 and 4 years old, and I was around 20. Apparently, the little monkeys had just gotten their first eyeful of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (a cartoon I absolutely love, otherwise). For some reason, when I got into the house, they decided to target me for the constant calling of CINDY LU. I admit, it would have been cute the first 2 or 3 times, but they wouldn't stop getting in my face and calling me that all night. It's just as annoying as some little shitpants constantly "HI"ing you. Meanwhile, their moo, who had ceased to be the cool person to hang out with formerly known as my sister as soon as she shot the beasts forth, was just sitting on her ass letting them harass me, and thinking it was ever so adorable.

What are you supposed to do as a polite family member in a still closeted dysfunctional family atmosphere? I smiled and did the obligatory "aww, how cute" at first, but as the night wore on and they STILL WOULDN'T STOP, I felt ready to kick them both down the stairs. From that point on, just the mention of their names was enough to make me wince and keep away.

To this day, their gradually more and more psycho moo coddles the little brats (spoiled college students now), and has even created ugly competition complexes between the two, which I find disgusting and wrong. Just another reason I think CF is the best way to go. If you're a psycho nutcase, having a kid IS NOT going to make it go away. All you do is pass it on to the next generation. I know myself, having grown up in a very unfit environment, affected by unstable people, that I would not make a good mother, and am glad I have the self-awareness not to pass my own damage on.

Quote
juliewashere88
Lol! Iron Butterfly, did you really say that? What did she say?

Yes, I did! And she was sputtering...it was one of the 'typical' bingo bits about
her mini-me being able to love her back and how my car can't do that.

Of course--the mini-me's not old enough to be cognisant of such things for a
few more years.

Chers

An Iron Butterfly

Love that story, Iron Butterfly!

The boyfriend just got a new Subaru Impreza WRX and I would like to think that he or I would have the balls to say that if we came across a pack of breeders too close to his new "baby" !

Quote
solelysarah86
Love that story, Iron Butterfly!

The boyfriend just got a new Subaru Impreza WRX and I would like to think that he or I would have the balls to say that if we came across a pack of breeders too close to his new "baby" !

Glad you got a chuckle out of it. Those WRXs are cute. I've seen a few in an eyepopping bright blue (among other colors) around the Phoenix area. Nor can I blame you for wanting to keep the grubby mitts off a sharp new car!

You know what's even worse about the "HI" thing... they NEVER stop.

Had some snot-nosed teen do that "my pants are falling off my butt" shuffle into a store where I was promoting wine. I'm mid-line with a paying customer when he yells "HI" at me from across the store, and keeps shuffling. I aptly ignore him and continue with the customer. Bratteen keeps yelling, louder and louder across the store at me as he keeps getting farther and farther away "HI! HI! HI! HI! HIIIIII! HIIIIIIIIIIIII!" until eventually he has everyone's attention in the entire store. I finish talking with the customer turn to him with a look of "What the hell is wrong with you, moron?" and he finally moves on.

You'd think that would be enough. Oh no!

He comes back to my table and proceeds to try an get me to give him a sample. I inform him that there is no way that I would give him a sample as he is quite clearly NOT 21. He loiters anyhow, he tries to strike up a conversation with me. He tries to ask what I like to drink.I answer in the shortest and vaguest terms, not only to try and keep the conversation as brief as possible, but also to not give him fodder to harass other servers with, claiming it as his own. Every few seconds of what seems like an hour that he STILL won't leave the table and allow a paying customer to approach, he keeps signalling that he wants me to give him a "High Five". I repeatedly leave him hanging. Bro, you're in a hat on backwards and your pants are under your butt. I am in a suit jacket. Do I look like someone who wants to touch you? You're wasting my time. You're not impressing me. You're costing me sales. You're not buying anything here. You came in to watch your friend buy something, so go do that. I'm sure this idiot thought he was charming as he was trained to engage every person he meets at toadler age... but it was painful to not be rude and tell him to get out of my face and go annoy someone his own age.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76YGyJSwSRI

Reminded me of the above video

Question from someone who somehow avoided most of the bullshit that the CF face.

What exactly is "babystalking?" I'm not sure I know. Based on this thread, it seems to be either stalked by a child who demands one's attention, or being stalked by a breeder using the child as some sort of attention grabbing device. Or both. Is that correct? Or is there more to it?

It's probably happened to me and I'm just too absent-minded to notice.


.

Quote
nathanomir
Question from someone who somehow avoided most of the bullshit that the CF face.

What exactly is "babystalking?" I'm not sure I know. Based on this thread, it seems to be either stalked by a child who demands one's attention, or being stalked by a breeder using the child as some sort of attention grabbing device. Or both. Is that correct? Or is there more to it?

It's probably happened to me and I'm just too absent-minded to notice.


.

both

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Quote
thom_c

Quote
nathanomir
Question from someone who somehow avoided most of the bullshit that the CF face.

What exactly is "babystalking?" I'm not sure I know. Based on this thread, it seems to be either stalked by a child who demands one's attention, or being stalked by a breeder using the child as some sort of attention grabbing device. Or both. Is that correct? Or is there more to it?

It's probably happened to me and I'm just too absent-minded to notice.


.

both

Thanks, Thom! Now I know what to look out for.

wink

I was kind of forced to have the baby stalk me in this one.

My immediate neighbors are all breeders. I'm surrounded. When my neighbors immediately next door moved in, I tried my best to set aside my disgust for little snot-noses while I struck up a conversation with the wife of the family. Her probably 1 year old must have finally been taking a nap when she came to the door (I was delivering a community bulletin) one day. We talked about how it would be nice to meet for coffee or tea or something at each other's houses some day soon, but I guess she took that to mean the same afternoon. It was an honest mistake, as I'm still learning the language, and must have missed a nuance in the conversation. I got busy doing something in the house when the doorbell rang later that afternoon. When I opened the door, the sight that met my eyes was...pretty strange. My neighbor was here, but she was holding her little shitloaf across her outstretched arms, on its back, as if offering it up for a sacrifice. It was difficult not to immediately recoil at the sight of the little turd being thrust at me, and I definitely didn't want her bringing it into my house, so I quickly made an excuse and got back to what I was doing.

Just gross. 3 years later and I hate that kid even more. I can hear it screaming bloody murder several times a day right through both walls. My neighbors on the other side are another whole piece of work. 3 kids, ranging from barely preschool age to maybe 1st grade, and the youngest has something wrong with it. I still can't tell if it's a boy or a girl, but they let that kid scream its guts out whenever possible without any discipline whatsoever. They have a nasty habit of playing right in front of our house (since there's a little row of open parking spaces in front of it), and while the two older kids are somewhat quiet, the moo and her gossipy neighbor moo from across the street start gabbing away and let the little tardly monster 3rd wheel start SCREAMING. They'll basically just shoo it away while the "grown ups" are talking, which frustrates it more. Then it falls on its face on the pavement and starts screaming even louder. The moos keep babbling on anyway, just ignoring it.

It's like some of these cows have their third little mistake and decide they're not even going to bother raising it. Just leave it flailing and shrieking while its nearly tame siblings ignore it right along with the parents. Anyone else ever notice that kind of (non)parenting? Honestly, this is a country where you can stick newborns in hospital drop boxes. If she didn't want to raise the little shit, why did she bother keeping it? Now all it is is a screaming, feral terror!

My baby stalking experiences are never as interesting as some of these and are few and far between, but that's a good thing lol.

A few days ago. My partner and I were on our way home from the shops. We pulled up into the car park near our house and one of our neighbours were preparing to leave. She had a four or five year old girl with her and when the kid saw us get out alone she practically did a double take and said "Don't you have any kiiiiiiiiiids!?" Because how could we NOT want somebody like her you know?

My partner is CF, but he's sometimes far too polite and is afraid to say so in front of strangers lest he offends anybody. So he just laughed softly and said "Not yet."

I'm not so polite so I responded loudly "Ewwwww what do you mean yet!?".

Turned out okay though, mother wasn't offended, just very apologetic.

I had the same kinda thing happen to me. About a year ago, this famblee moved in right across from us. We live in a small apartment complex where all the patios face right into a shared courtyard. Not too long after they arrived, the boyfriend and I were out planting a few new plants on our patio, while the two older brats were out playing around in the dirt. After a few minutes, they just started staring at us.

I tried to ignore them, which is hard. I don't know, but when little kyds do that creepy staring thing, I just get all anxious and I feel like they have laser beams shooting out of their eyes into my head. After a while the girl shouts, "Hey where are your kyyyds??!!" I just tried to keep ignoring them. Then the boy chimed in, "I don't think THEY have any kyds!", like he couldn't believe it. Really...did I just get baby-stalked by a couple of baybees?!

All the while the duh just sat there in a little kindercrap chair, with a blank stare on his face, while moo stood around with loaf #3 on her hip, cluelessly chatting on her phone with grandmoo.

Thankfully they moved out a month ago and the apartment sits vacant...for now...*gulp*.

I guess they don't know any other way. They're constantly hanging out with other kids so they just assume all adults have them.

I'd like to think their first meeting with a childfree person at such young ages will have an effect on their development and they will realize they have a choice before too much brainwashing is done.

After all so many of them are raised to think "it's just what you do" because mommy wants grandkids eventually. I'm surprised parents don't douse us with holy water the minute we step too close to their precious lol.

Quote
unicorn
I guess they don't know any other way. They're constantly hanging out with other kids so they just assume all adults have them.

I'd like to think their first meeting with a childfree person at such young ages will have an effect on their development and they will realize they have a choice before too much brainwashing is done.

After all so many of them are raised to think "it's just what you do" because mommy wants grandkids eventually. I'm surprised parents don't douse us with holy water the minute we step too close to their precious lol.

When I was a kid, I remember being very confused when the young married couple across the street didn't have any babies. I wasn't aware that it was possible to have one without the other. It was a bit of an eye opener for me.

That same couple did go on to have a whole damned soccer team later, but that's besides the point.