Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 25, 2012 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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I didn't want them, but now I knew how much she did. I knew that if I didn't agree to have kids, she would sacrifice having them for me, and she would regret it the rest of her life. The way I see it, I was faced with only 3 options... all bad:
1) Stick to my guns, no kids. Ball is in her court, and if she sacrifices, it was her decision to do so. Probable Result: She'll decide not to have kids and will eventually be upset about it, at which time I'd feel guilty and everyone will be miserable. No one wins.
2) Agree to have kids; maybe I'd change and will be okay with it later. Maybe they grow on me. Probable Result: I am who I am... nothing changes, I'm not happy about it, but I pretend. She thinks everything is great and is happy. She wins.
3) Divorce, she won't be happy without kids, I won't be happy with them. We both lose our best friend and a magical 6 year relationship. No one wins.
I chose #2. I chose to suck it up to make her happy... and as expected, I am internally bitter. I keep my mouth shut, and play like everything is nice, but everything I expected has come to pass. My best friend is no longer my best friend. I'm third on the priority list. If that's selfish, oh well, I guess I'm selfish. Overnight she ceased being the care free and adventurous person I married, and is now a cautious, doting mom... obsessed with routine and schedule. She has motherhood down to a science. I'm not very interested in the mom.
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 25, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 866 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 25, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,567 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 2,212 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 592 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
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Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,761 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,149 |
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starlady
Now see that .. all you CF people looking for a guy. They are out there... and would be thrilled if a woman said to them "I don't want childen'. Yep.. I bet most guys would be over the moon... I know mine was. I have seen so many poor duhs with that look of disgust on their faces as they haul the moo and her brood around. There are more CF men out there then even THEY know. Some need to be told that the lifescript is not the only route in life.
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,761 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 269 |
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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dreamlife
Whatever this guy has done to himself in the name of keeping his wife happy is their problem. But it's not cool that he is dragging other innocent parties into his mess.
More of his tale of woe:
"I'm on my 5th extra-marital girlfriend seeking the attention I've lost, all of which I have to dump within a month or two for fear they - or my wife, will figure it out.
I am the ugly hidden flaw an an outwardly perfect marriage. I'm the jerk who stole a choice, and made the wrong one. Now, my latest girlfriend has fallen in love with me, and I feel something for her. She is like my wife was before children - care free, adventurous and interesting.
In all likelihood, I'm about to break her heart... and go back to my boring life with kids that even the most jaded person would judge me for being discontent with."
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,149 |
CMFree Misanthrope
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 |
Quote
starlady
Now see that .. all you CF people looking for a guy. They are out there... and would be thrilled if a woman said to them "I don't want childen'. Yep.. I bet most guys would be over the moon... I know mine was. I have seen so many poor duhs with that look of disgust on their faces as they haul the moo and her brood around. There are more CF men out there then even THEY know. Some need to be told that the lifescript is not the only route in life.
Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 5,716 |
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Re: Dude predicted his own future and didn't try to change it July 26, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,149 |
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