Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 606 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,646 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 464 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 216 |
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ex lurker
And on that note : The letter writer and other CF people, but ESPECIALLY those who are estranged from their bio family, need to google "filial responsibility laws" to make sure their state isn't one of the around 40 or so who can force an adult child to pay an 'indigent' parent's bills , including but not limited to the monthly bill for a nursing home. Cheap or not, that can get into big bucks. I believe at least some of those states make provisions for adult children who've cut themselves off from parents due to an abusive childhood, but there probably needs to be a (lawyer-drawn-up?) paper trail PROVING long standing estrangement in order to make sure the AC's own retirement funds can't be drained to support the narcissistic, abusive parent(s), such as the one in the letter writer's letter.
Imagine an abusive narcissist, like the letter writer's father, who decides not to save for retirement at all, instead blowing all his money on Fun Stuff, because he fully intends to force his victim(s) to pay his way from age 65-70 on...Makes the blood run cold to contemplate.
No idea about Canada, the UK, or other parts of the anglosphere, but I do know that at least some EUropean countries have laws like 'filial responsibility' on their books, so...
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 216 |
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blondie
If they really believe she is worthless they have no reason to want her around for the holidays except to be a scapegoat. Her role is to be there to be the "bad one" since dysfunctional famblees need one of those. She seems to not have realized she was the scapegoat until being lunked over the head with it but now she knows. And the famblee expects her to be there even in the face of the revelation that they think she is useless pond scum. Wow. If she maintains contact she is very, very damaged from being raised in this sick famblee.
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 683 |
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Dorisan
http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dwil_nation
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,846 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 2,176 |
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rudeawakening
Fuck them! I don't normally advocate "cutting out" family members based on one or two transgressions, but unless there is a sincere apology and change in behavior I think OP should drop them like a bad habit. That includes no sending presents to the Golden Hellspawn, and no financial support if (more likely when) it is requested.
Hope the OP finds a more supportive group of people she can spend time with, who are not huge pieces of shit.
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 16, 2014 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,788 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 17, 2014 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
Anonymous User
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 17, 2014 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 17, 2014 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 216 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 17, 2014 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,603 |
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Dorisan
My nomination for Piece o' Shit Family of the Year
That person has been given a gift. They can now cut off the toxic people who have made their feelings clear and go forth to create a true family for their self.Quote
Q. Avoiding Family Holidays: My career has led me to go to school and get a good job far away from family. My parents and my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew still live in the same area so every holiday I fly to see them. Last Christmas, my father declared that holidays were only for people who had children and that anyone who doesn’t have children is worthless and has no reason to live. Everyone but myself at the table agreed. I was the only person at that table that doesn’t have a child and needless to say I was hurt. After the festivities were done, I took my father aside to politely express my hurt to him. He starting yelling at me that I was just jealous of my sibling and that he stands by his judgment. I’m glad my sibling is happy but I never want to be her and I love my life. Before that holiday, I thought I had a supportive family that was proud of me. Now I find myself not wanting to fly back for any of the holidays. How should I handle my family’s requests that I visit?
A: You could say something like, “After last year’s discussion, I’m afraid I simply can’t guarantee that if I fly out to see you my plane will be hit by a drone, explode, and then my worthless life will blessedly be over.†I’m glad you spoke up to your father because sometimes people say idiotic things then when called out on it, explain, “I didn’t mean you, honey!†But apparently he meant you. You say to your family that you remain shaken by the dreadful things said about your life. You don’t feel you’re being overly sensitive when you object to being told you have no reason to live. If they want to revise their stand, then you will be happy to listen, and then you will consider if you have reason to come for the holiday.
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 17, 2014 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,978 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 17, 2014 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 144 |
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popcornculturejunkie
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rudeawakening
Fuck them! I don't normally advocate "cutting out" family members based on one or two transgressions, but unless there is a sincere apology and change in behavior I think OP should drop them like a bad habit. That includes no sending presents to the Golden Hellspawn, and no financial support if (more likely when) it is requested.
Hope the OP finds a more supportive group of people she can spend time with, who are not huge pieces of shit.
OP should come here...and read this awesome thread from our very own artchick62
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 18, 2014 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 216 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 18, 2014 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,846 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 18, 2014 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 1,227 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 18, 2014 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 18, 2014 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,735 |
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 18, 2014 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 216 |
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Peace
Maybe you can help out this dumb American, but since when is it legal in England for the government to take one person's home and give it to another? I've not heard of that being legal in England. I also cannot imagine the British gov't seizing a person's private home and giving it to somebody else just because it's large. That smacks of communism and I don't see England going down that route. If they do start doing that, then all English lords, Dukes, even the royals had better count on giving up their huge estates, because they hold the biggest homes of all. Let's put some chavs in Buckingham palace!
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 18, 2014 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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Peace
Maybe you can help out this dumb American, but since when is it legal in England for the government to take one person's home and give it to another? I've not heard of that being legal in England. I also cannot imagine the British gov't seizing a person's private home and giving it to somebody else just because it's large. That smacks of communism and I don't see England going down that route. If they do start doing that, then all English lords, Dukes, even the royals had better count on giving up their huge estates, because they hold the biggest homes of all. Let's put some chavs in Buckingham palace!
Re: Dear Prudie: I don't have kids. My father thinks I'm worthless and should die. Family agrees :wtf December 19, 2014 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 497 |
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Peace
Maybe you can help out this dumb American, but since when is it legal in England for the government to take one person's home and give it to another? I've not heard of that being legal in England. I also cannot imagine the British gov't seizing a person's private home and giving it to somebody else just because it's large. That smacks of communism and I don't see England going down that route. If they do start doing that, then all English lords, Dukes, even the royals had better count on giving up their huge estates, because they hold the biggest homes of all. Let's put some chavs in Buckingham palace!