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I've been in a Whole Foods in Atlanta. It seemed like the few parents in there were able to keep the children in line.

Jeebus HFC, what a fucking cunt. :mad2

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I have to note that Whole Foods employees always grin warmly at the smallest Whole Foodies.

That's 'cause they HAVE TO or they will most likely LOSE THEIR JOB, you twat!

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Meeting their gaze, I offer my best “isn’t she cute” mama-smile.

No she's not.

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and endangered species stuffed animals

Do you know WHY they are endangered species, you fucking breeder whore? Take a guess.

People don't glare at children unless they are being annoying/misbehaving. There's more to this story that she, for obvious reasons, isn't telling.

Meeting their gaze, I offer my best “isn’t she cute” mama-smile

I fucking hate it when people do that, like they expect you to nod and agree. Take responsibility for her actions, instead of expecting me to excuse them because of 'cuteness'.

Without fail the well-coiffed, well-heeled patrons sniff, turn away, and scowl as if children should not be permitted to despoil the holy land of fresh figs, kumquats and Fat Bastard wine

I really don't want children despoiling fresh figs and kumquats. I'm a bit more comfortable with their dirty fingers touching the outside of a bottle of wine, however.

Folks with the bucks to shop at Whole Foods every week think a fat paycheck entitles them to live in a world impervious to the chaos, sudden movements, and grubby hands of children.

I believe that my decision not to introduce children into my household should allow me to live entirely in an adult world, free from the chaos, sudden movements, and grubby hands of other people's children. In return, I will also display good manners, and save potentially annoying and offensive actions for when I'm home. I understand if you don't own sex toys, you might not want to encounter other people using them every time you go out in public. Heck, even if you do own them, you might expect me to leave mine at home since you've done the same with yours. At the very least you'd no doubt like me to carry them unobtrusively.

Or should I rub a vibrator over the fruit and bottles of wine? Give you my best smile and a helpless shrug when I suddenly lurch and bump in to you, and my vibrator startles you by buzzing against your leg? Fuck you, you should applaud me when I get off in the store, even if my O-face makes me look like a chimp and I'm a screamer not a moaner who can be heard five aisles away! Sexual urges are a natural part of human life for most people--even you've had sex once, you dour-faced parent!

Perhaps years of corner offices or Jimmy Choo shoes have somehow erased the fact that they were children with runny noses once too.

I'm almost there....

Their wallets may be stuffed with credit cards and their stomachs full of organic grain-fed lamb, but in my view, these peacocks suffer from a spiritual starvation that deprives them of the nuttiness and unpredictability of a small child delighted by a mouth full of fresh raspberries.

Bingo!

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What gives Whole Foods shoppers the right to look down their noses at our future leaders?

Or pedophiles. Or arsonists. Or con artists. Or drunk drivers. Or prostitutes. Or corrupt politicians. Or cult leaders. Or computer hackers. Or drug addicts. Or murderers. Or greedy execs. Or thieves. The list goes on, and all the desirable people therein were chilldruhn too.

The fresh raspberries, no doubt, are not yet paid for and half of them were put back so other patrons can get theirs covered with loaf spittle.

And bingo was his name-o.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Gawd, our local Whole Foods is a breeder-infested nasty-brat screamfest. I quit shopping there because of all of the out-of-control crotch trophies.

And THIS is why I hate shopping at Whole Foods!! I tend to go during the day and that happens to be when the spoiled SAHMs come out with their bratty spawn. These bitches really think the world revolves around them and their kyds. They will run right into you with their carts, never apologizing and acting like YOU are in their way! They let their kids run ape shit through the aisles, which are narrow enough to begin with. I know that every time I shop there I must wear my earbuds because of the shrieking and mawmie-mawmie-mawmie-MAWMIEEE! I hear each. and. every. time. I set foot into that store. And no, Bitch-Whore, not everyone who shops at WF is wealthy and wears "Jimmy Choos" or has a corner office. Some of us shop there because of items we can't get because our lousy neighborhood doesn't have a real natural foods store. I don't go there for the $40/lb lamb chops. What a waste of flesh that moo is!!

I guess I've been lucky, our local Whole Foods has never, in the times I've been there, infested with brats. In fact, I don't recall ever seeing children there, and we almost always go on weekends. The only reason we shop at Whole Paycheck, I mean Whole Foods, is they have a few items we can't find anywhere else.

I usually see the screaming brats at either Super WalMart or Super Target, but have never seen them in Whole Foods. Not sure why that is.

JD

Perhaps years of corner offices or Jimmy Choo shoes have somehow erased the fact that they were children with runny noses once too.

My parents taught me how to use a damn kleenex and I was NOT allowed to put my grubby paws on the merchandise.

There were a couple in my last trip to WF, but they were smaller and confined to the cart. Not noisy at all. They are building another closer to me, which seems to have few families. Here's hoping...

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

She sounds like a bitter, jealous moo. Sucks to be her.

"Meeting their gaze, I offer my best “isn’t she cute” mama-smile"


THIS is what I am talking about when I say, "They glanced around the crowd looking for nods of approval"!!!! This is the first time that I have seen an actual moo-example of it acknowledged! So they DO intentionally do that looking around for approval thing when their kyd is being a hellion OR they are saying something intended to be overheard in order to get that nod of approval. I knew it, but it's nice to see them admit it. NO the little shit is NOT cute is the only "nod" that they will get from me in my MOST hateful glare and expression that I can possibly muster at the time. Yes, we WERE all "kids once", but we were kyds at HOME or either we didn't act like little crack monkeys while out in public or we LEFT right away and were PUNISHED! I am SO sick of that particular bingo that I could slash my wrists when I hear it!:smn

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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I often take my six-year-old because she loves sampling the exotic cheeses, cut kiwi and jicama

Translation: I often take my out-of-control brat because she loves grabbing the free samples with her grubby, germy hands and shoveling them into her mouth while running around foraging for any other freebies she can get.

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But here’s the unpleasant, repeat reality: my fellow shoppers at Whole Foods look at my curly haired munchkin as if she were a rat carrying bubonic plague.

Because they see her for the unpleasant, out-of-control, germy, grubby-handed brat that she is while you continue to give people your 'isn't she cute' look because you are too stupid and clueless to see in her what everyone else sees.

Holy shitballs, what a judgmental, uppity cunt!

Meeting their gaze, I offer my best “isn’t she cute” mama-smile

Jesus, Bitch, you go to the grocery store to grocery shop, not collect fawning glances from anonymous admirerers. Unless, of course, you're a complete fucking narcissist. Get help!

Without fail the well-coiffed, well-heeled patrons sniff, turn away, and scowl

So either you're being an annoying fuck or your kyd is. Why can't you just get your shit and get out? Are the shoppers at Whole Foods suddenly required to join your fan club if they have the misfortune of passing you and your screaming DNA replicant in the produce department?

I often take my six-year-old because she loves sampling the exotic cheeses, cut kiwi and jicama

What's the point of feeding your brat samples of items you rarely buy her anyway??

But here’s the unpleasant, repeat reality: my fellow shoppers at Whole Foods look at my curly haired munchkin as if she were a rat carrying bubonic plague

She may not be carrying plague, but kyds are petri dishes of about a million other vile, infectious germs and don't belong around public food sources. Some of your fellow shoppers might have compromised immune systems. Leave the germ vector at home.

Perhaps years of corner offices or Jimmy Choo shoes have somehow erased the fact that they were children with runny noses once too...these peacocks suffer from a spiritual starvation

Sit and spin, you pathetic, narrow minded, placenta-brained SAH-whore!

that deprives them of the nuttiness and unpredictability of a small child delighted by a mouth full of fresh raspberries.

Oh LAWD, how will I ever continue on in life?????:bawl My existence is utterly devoid of nuttiness and the stomach-turning imagery of a yard ape with a drooling maw full of crushed and running fruit goo, I swear I need to go slash my wrists now.

...a spiritual starvation that deprives them of the nuttiness and unpredictability of a small child delighted by a mouth full of fresh raspberries.

Kyd likes sweet berry. Call the fucking TV station! How much more nutty and unpredictable can you get?

I think she's suffering spiritual starvation. Her kyd is only delighted by fresh raspberries, whereas miracle Lu delights in chomping grass. She's so elitist.

Damn...I am working my ass of to get an engineering degree so that I can afford to not be around bitches and cunts like than...don't tell me in five or ten years when I buy my first Chanel suit that I will have to yell over a bunch of spawn.

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this place is called Whole Foods because we’re buy life-sustaining food at here, not Limoges china or high-end stereo components!

Let me tell you something, approval seeking Moo: you are buying status-preserving crap. We stopped going to Whole Foods for anything but milk, eggs, and fresh meat from the deli counter (which is superb). The veggies are overpriced, the berries are WAY overpriced, their sausage tastes funny, their bacon has something wrong with it (every time I bought bacon "uncured" it tasted like it had a disease - go figure), the fruits are almost always underripe, and it goes without saying that once we clapped eyes onto the price tags, we never bought any soup, toilet paper, or kitchen products from Rip Off Foods. What a pretentious, overpriced dump!

Plus I hate grinning fool Moos. She set herself up for disappointment over her expectations of total strangers. Get a life, you cow!

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yurble
...a spiritual starvation that deprives them of the nuttiness and unpredictability of a small child delighted by a mouth full of fresh raspberries.

Kyd likes sweet berry. Call the fucking TV station! How much more nutty and unpredictable can you get?

I think she's suffering spiritual starvation. Her kyd is only delighted by fresh raspberries, whereas miracle Lu delights in chomping grass. She's so elitist.

I was just thinking that this sounds like something GFG would write.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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ShimmyMuse
Let me tell you something, approval seeking Moo: you are buying status-preserving crap. We stopped going to Whole Foods for anything but milk, eggs, and fresh meat from the deli counter (which is superb).

, their sausage tastes funny, their bacon has something wrong with it (every time I bought bacon "uncured" it tasted like it had a disease - go figure), \


Plus I hate grinning fool Moos. She set herself up for disappointment over her expectations of total strangers. Get a life, you cow!

In order not to offend the moos and avoid bad pr related to slaughterhouses - all the meat comes from sources that died of natural causes . Of course because of extra bacteria in the completely organic process we need to charge extra for this service.

Wow! Didn't realize that WF became breederiffic HAVEN! Seriously - they're not cheap and it's hard for me to believe that chyyyldrunns would like anything besides Cheereos, HoHo's, Sgpetti-o's and the like. Now these rich broodmares are bringing their screaming brats there? WHY? Why don't they just stick to Squallmart like the rest of the breeders? Why ruin what was once a decent, calm, shopping experience? I used to go to WF for my weekly wheatgrass shot and granola, among other interesting health-food items. Back then, there was nary a breeder there with their screaming shitsacks in tow. What a sucky change for WF.

I go to Whole Foods every couple of months because I like the atmosphere. It's peaceful in there. I buy a few things which I can't get elsewhere. I will be really pissed if the breeders ruin it.

Sounds like that dumb bint needs to get a hobby or a job, if she goes to a whole foods store to try and attempt to gain validation from total strangers.

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lab mom

I agree that 90% of WF is overpriced, but they're the only game in town for good cheese. I have bigger problems with breeders at Aldi.

Rat carrying plague ?

If the brat was carrying a rat arround, I might actually smile. Rats , unlike small children, are generally adorable!

Wow,what is this woman on?

I'm betting that I'm not the only one who doesn't like small children who won't even notice the presence of small children enough to give more than an indifferent glance unless they're being irritating. .....or is indifference the same as disapproval in Moo World, where we should all be enchanted with her little produce-polluting foodie in training?