Kre8ive Names

Friend of mine wrote me an email the other day. She was giving an excuse why she was late with something.
Had to go take care of her 'Autistic grandson LEXINGTON' HUH? I hope they call him 'Lex' Lexington is a town in Virginia. LOL

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Cambion
Portia
Allistair

Those two are real names, at least.

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Holden

Somebody likes Chasing Amy?

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yurble

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Cambion
Portia
Allistair

Those two are real names, at least.

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Holden

Somebody likes Chasing Amy?

Or Catcher in the Rye.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

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michaela

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yurble

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Cambion
Portia
Allistair

Those two are real names, at least.

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Holden

Somebody likes Chasing Amy?

Or Catcher in the Rye.

Yeah I was thinking Catcher in the Rye too. Holden is kind of a cool name in my opinion, but I also used to think that about Aidan til that got ruined. lol.

I figured at least a couple of those were real names, but alas, I can no longer check baby name sites for clarification because the bullshit names are on them too.

Bet it's a real kick in the vag that there's two Abbys in the same class with kre8ively-spelled names. I'm sure each of their Moos deliberately misspelled the names so their pweshus would stand out from the crowd. But since fucking everybody gives their kids kre8ive names, this is what happens. Though some faith in humanity was restored as I saw some normal named like Emily and Zack and Josh - the list I gave is from, I think, six grades. And I left out everything ending in "-aden" and "-ayden" because there were just too many of those to list.

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Snark Shark
"Gauge"

everyone can call him "12".

"Cael ("Kyle?")"

I'm thinking Kale, the terrible vegetable!

Cael is pronounced like kale, and it's actually a pretty well-respected Irish name.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

Got another list from a local middle school. Channeling kre8ive and/or yoo-neek names...:

Armani (middle name possibly "Gucci" since we're talking brands)

Kolan (like "Colon?")

Devanie

Eethan

Rohnin ("ronin?")

Tyniecia

Acen (Ace-en? Ack-en? No idea.)

Alectra

Kenidee

Patiance (Hooray for Momma's grammar skills)

Selkie (is this short for something?)

Aaleigaha

Faraz

Utah (of all the states you could name a kid after, you pick Utah?)

Ariyahna

Selkie - It's a mythological seal that sheds its skin once upon land and becomes a beautiful woman.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

Modern way to name your child:

1) Open Wikipedia
2) Click "Random article"
3) If the title has multiple words, pick the 2nd word.

My non-existent kid will be named Cello.

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I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!

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KABA
Modern way to name your child:

1) Open Wikipedia
2) Click "Random article"
3) If the title has multiple words, pick the 2nd word.

My non-existent kid will be named Cello.

Mine will be Swift, which is actually kind of cool.

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KABA
Modern way to name your child:

1) Open Wikipedia
2) Click "Random article"
3) If the title has multiple words, pick the 2nd word.

My non-existent kid will be named Cello.

River

It's your hell; you rot in it!

@reaperess, your non-existent child would also share a name with The Doctor's wife, River Song.

But ooo, I wanna play too. Consulting Wikipedia's random article-fu, and my non-existent child's (or "angel clump's") name will be "Trichoobscura." :goggle This is the name of a genus of mites.

Just for the hell of it, I tried it 5 more times. The names I got were:

Flagpole
Schiffer
Point
Lorlanges
Verija

Okay, so my next period will be named "Lorlanges."

Trying the Wikipedia trick I got Smith.

"Chasers." (from some movie called "Wormhole Chasers.") Wouldn't be surprised--one of my neighbor's blah, whiny, scrawny little grandsons is called Hunter.

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Established tiling methods are for unlambent nonbreathers filled with tiny rage.--CrabCake

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KABA
Modern way to name your child:

1) Open Wikipedia
2) Click "Random article"
3) If the title has multiple words, pick the 2nd word.

My non-existent kid will be named Cello.

I got Solari

I wonder if I have Centauri blood?

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

The first time I tried I got 'House' (from the article 'Export House'). I think I might upgrade it to 'Domicile' for a fancier sound.

I decided I wanted an "ethnic name" as well, so I tried French but go 'Structure' which doesn't sound exotic enough. I tried again with Italian, which sort of worked, but not as expected - I got 'Zeilinger' from the astoroid '48681 Zeilinger', which sounds foreign but not at all Italian. This is hard work! After that I got a sports team, but the name at least sounds right: 'L'Hospitalet'. I don't speak Italian, but it looks like I ended up rather close to where I started.

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Cambion
@reaperess, your non-existent child would also share a name with The Doctor's wife, River Song.

Which does rather make it awesome. I don't want to name my period, "River," though.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

Poland
District
Braybrook
Golden
Brightest

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

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michaela
Poland
District
Braybrook
Golden
Brightest

My golden child would be the brightest one, but I guess you're biased toward some other trait.

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yurble

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michaela
Poland
District
Braybrook
Golden
Brightest

My golden child would be the brightest one, but I guess you're biased toward some other trait.

That, or Golden was jaundiced at birth, and some retarded moo would take that as some supernatural sign that s/he was "Da Golden Chyld."

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

This works with Encyclopedia Dramatica, too. OBSERVE

Digimon
Virginmobile (as in "The Virginmobile," not the telecom company)
Fanfiction
Copypasta
Engrish
Sexsomnia
Hammer
Cyrillic
Mecha-Dildo
Twink
Moar
Asshole

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

And I have returned with even more names of future ass-wipers:

Kein (Kine? Keen? Kay-in?)

Kizae

Danyell (would be so funny if kid was mute)

Jolon

Crimson

Mirkesa

Makeena

Jazmin (hai future porn star)

Nimue (Nemo? Nih-moo? Nye-mew?)

Xzander

Paighten

Katara (like the girl from Avatar: The Last Airbender? That's quite an idol to try to live up to)

Ireland

Jurni (because spelling it properly isn't yoo-neek)

Heaven (I guess spelling it backwards is no longer trendeigh)

Jory (combination of Joe and Jerry?)

Meisi (Maisy? Mee-see? May-sai?)

Naveya (maybe when she dies, she'll go to ayevan. UK's version of heaven, I guess.)

Mckaylin

Synovia

Chyann (Cheyenne?)

Dear parents of SADHBH,
It ins't everyone else's fault no-one can spell it.
It isn't everyone else's fault no-one can pronounce it.
It IS your fault your little princess has a whole load of attitude about the above. What does it mean anyway?
'white middle class pretentious nonsense- brokers?'
Tossers!

Nimue (Nemo? Nih-moo? Nye-mew?)

Nih moo weh

One of the Ladies of the Lake from Merlin-Camelot-Arthur fame.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

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reaperess
Nimue (Nemo? Nih-moo? Nye-mew?)

Nih moo weh

One of the Ladies of the Lake from Merlin-Camelot-Arthur fame.

That's what I was thinking. Wasn't she an evil bitch if I remember the story right? I might have named kittens Lancelot and Guinivere but I drew the line at Nimue.