Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 05, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
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starlady
If I had to start dating at my age... I wouldn't have to worry about some guy wanting 'one of his own' I'd have to worry if he had grandsprogs he was obsessed with.
Like someone else said... My hubby better not die before me...or I'll just be a single widow.
I feel for you CF'ers and your dating woes... I really do. Glad it will never be me again.
Be careful.. is about all I can say.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 05, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 423 |
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 06, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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Yurble
I don't mind guys who say they're not sure. I've never had a relationship end because of someone wanting kids so I figure there are plenty of other ways it can end before that ever becomes an issue...
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 07, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
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Techie
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Yurble
I don't mind guys who say they're not sure. I've never had a relationship end because of someone wanting kids so I figure there are plenty of other ways it can end before that ever becomes an issue...
Personal experiences vary. This may just be my personal experience, but from what I have seen, it is women who are way more likely to push for kids and end the relationship because of it. Again, that is what I have encountered.
I never had a relationship last because of the issue. Sooner or later, demands to breed would come and end was in sight. Nothing else really mattered to the women that I have encountered. Getting a date for a man is easy as long as he is willing to either breed or date a single moo. I am not making this up either, I think Marco Polo and Keeper Of Traken know exactly what I am talking about.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 27, 2015 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 105 |
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
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freedomchick
I've personally found that guys without kids who are a little bit younger than I thought I should date are actually much more interested in me than I thought, because I don't have kids and make it clear that I don't want any. Plus I'm established in my career and don't have the hang ups that women their own age or younger have: a ticking clock if they are in their 30's and want kids, or trying to build a career if they are in their 20's. Not sure how old you are, but if you are in your 40's like me, lower your acceptable age range and look for a 30 year old. You may be surprised! This whole experience has convinced me that many many young men do not want kids til they are forced into it by some young woman who does. Good luck!
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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freedomchick
This whole experience has convinced me that many many young men do not want kids til they are forced into it by some young woman who does.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 198 |
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 21 |
If we put in our profiles we want kids, dudes go running. If we put we *don't* want kids, dudes go running. So according to her, women are supposed to resort to pretending to be undecided, pliable, apologetic, mealy mouthed submissives, or else we offend the menz delicate sensibilities? Uh, fuck that noise! How about dudez grow a pair?Quote
tea princess
A few years ago I was talking about dating sites with one of my friends who was a dating coach at that time. She told me that women shouldn't put "want kids" on the profile, because it scares men away, they will think that she needs a man only for breeding purposes. She told me the correct way to put it was "maybe". When I told her I wrote "don't want kids" there, she said "oh no, that will scare them away" Looks like the only thing that's not intimidating for the majority of men is a quiet, shy "maybe", meaning "I'm waiting for a big, strong man to tell me whether I want kids or not."
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,003 |
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cinja
If we put in our profiles we want kids, dudes go running. If we put we *don't* want kids, dudes go running. So according to her, women are supposed to resort to pretending to be undecided, pliable, apologetic, mealy mouthed submissives, or else we offend the menz delicate sensibilities? Uh, fuck that noise! How about dudez grow a pair?Quote
tea princess
A few years ago I was talking about dating sites with one of my friends who was a dating coach at that time. She told me that women shouldn't put "want kids" on the profile, because it scares men away, they will think that she needs a man only for breeding purposes. She told me the correct way to put it was "maybe". When I told her I wrote "don't want kids" there, she said "oh no, that will scare them away" Looks like the only thing that's not intimidating for the majority of men is a quiet, shy "maybe", meaning "I'm waiting for a big, strong man to tell me whether I want kids or not."
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,735 |
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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selidororous
After hearing so much about online dating I am actually surprised there is no childfree dating site yet.
It's an idea.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 29, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,725 |
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cassia
About 8-10 years ago, I created an online dating profile.
It repeated in various types of wording and locations in the ad that I am child free and not interested dating fathers or wanna-bes.
I was strategically purposefully trying to drive off 99% of the males who would look at the ad.
Why waste time on such a mis-match?
I wanted contact only from firmly childfree men, even if that was only a couple of people out of thousands.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 29, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,440 |
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freya
I'd like to have a childfree dating site and the option to ask have kids? and the only answer is no. Want kids? and the only answer is no.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 29, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 606 |
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freya
Also, while I haven't lied in an online profile I've learned to be very general because I've had many men agree with me and pretend to be just like me in as many aspects as possible. As soon as I find out they are liars I no longer date them. Not sure what the point of lying is as I will figure out well before I'd consider sleeping with or seeing them exclusively.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 29, 2015 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,983 |
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,603 |
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Techie
I have another theory on single duhs and CF dating. A few posters on this board have mentioned that men push for kids less frequently than women do. I wonder if the opposite is true. Men fight for their right to be CF less frequently than women do. When I really think about it, a question comes up. How many men really have the balls to walk away if their SO is demanding baby batter for breeding? Based on real life experience and based on what I see on this board,CF women, if are cornered about breeding, they will fight with all that they got. But men? I think many just go with the flow and allow their SO to dictate how things will happen. I happen to not be one of those guys and that is why I probably still have my CF life. I am flexible in many other ways, but when it comes to breeding, that is not for me under any circumstances and no matter how many women tried to convince me otherwise, I have always stood my ground no matter what the outcome would have been.
These sorry ass, ball-less, duhs, they want to get online and bitch about women, I have something to say to them. The horse has left the barn. If they wanted to date CF women, they should have had the balls to tell the one who wanted to breed one simple word: "NO". These men know they are fucked. Something is telling me that these men are not looking for a true date. They are looking for a mentor who can straighten out their life for them.
I understand that some men get oopsed. That is a crappy situation. But, it is not always the situation. I venture to say, most of the time, pregnancy happens because the wanna duh agreed to it. Or got his arm twisted into it. Whatever it may be, more often than not, he had a chance to say no and he didn't. Some continued to slide it in after she clearly told them she was off the pill. What were these duhs thinking was going to happen?
I attribute all the single duh whining to this - lack of self control and lack of ability to look back and admit that mistakes just happen and that holding others responsible for one's mistakes is dumb.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
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JohnDrake
I found my CF wife when neither of us were even looking or wanted to be in a relationship, we started as just friends and it sort of grew from there. I had the big V just before we got married and have never been happier. My only regret is I should have had it sooner.
I'm 47 and from what I'm reading, if my wife were to pass away suddenly, I'd probably spend the remainder of my years alone being a widower.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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JohnDrake
I think there's a double standard with CF men and women. With CF women, if she doesn't want kids, she's independent and being self sufficient but if a man doesn't want kids, it's because he refused to grow up. All totally stupid in my opinion.
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JohnDrake
I'm 47 and from what I'm reading, if my wife were to pass away suddenly, I'd probably spend the remainder of my years alone being a widower.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,983 |
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JohnDrake
I think there's a double standard with CF men and women. With CF women, if she doesn't want kids, she's independent and being self sufficient but if a man doesn't want kids, it's because he refused to grow up. All totally stupid in my opinion.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,603 |
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Techie
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JohnDrake
I'm 47 and from what I'm reading, if my wife were to pass away suddenly, I'd probably spend the remainder of my years alone being a widower.
No you won't unless that is the lifestyle that you would choose. Meeting people on dating sites does not always work for CF people. But, meeting people the way you met your wife works wonders. Do what you can to keep a circle of friends. The help they offer when you are down on your luck can just be the help that you need to get back out there and meet new people.
I know a few CF hangouts. The ratio of women to men is like 3 to 1, as long as single duhs are not allowed in there. Allow single duhs and you will have 100 men to each CF woman. Then, shortly, there will be zero women and a bunch of whiny bitches duhs. Here is another trick. Single moos that I have encountered, they often have CF women friends. Single moos often know they can't have you, so they will often introduce you to their CF friend. Don't date single moos but you can be polite enough to them to get the info.
Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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blondie
The way I see it those of us who have had a good number of years being with another compatible loving CF person already won the lottery. If I lost my SO I'd be at peace and very grateful for what I had. I could be quite happy being a great friend/neighbor/companion/volunteer, etc in my later years.