Childfree dating and why I hate it
Posted by freya
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 05, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
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starlady
If I had to start dating at my age... I wouldn't have to worry about some guy wanting 'one of his own' I'd have to worry if he had grandsprogs he was obsessed with.
Like someone else said... My hubby better not die before me...or I'll just be a single widow.
I feel for you CF'ers and your dating woes... I really do. Glad it will never be me again.
Be careful.. is about all I can say.
Yeah if I lost my SO I wouldn't even attempt to find anyone else, just be the lifelong widow which would be fine with me. I haven't met anyone in the last twenty years or so I would think of dating if I were single, it was a lot easier years ago. In my twenties I was not thinking of the kid issues at all, and my dating pool wasn't really into that either. We were free wheelers I guess, just enjoying our young adulthood. After that the breeding really began to get in gear and I dated guys who turned out to be future breeders and wanna-breeders but fortunately met my SO who was not that and we stayed together. He is cool, never any issues with the kyd stuff.
Things were simpler in the respect that you usually met people through friends or work, and you had some idea who they were, I guess it was more easy going than internet dating with profiles and fifty questions and so many rejections from total strangers.
I wish the best for any young single CF ers looking to meet a good mate, we are out there so don't give up and don't give in.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 05, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 423 |
Don't despair, folks. You can still meet people in the "real" world.
Look for artistic type groups or other groups where the members have interesting hobbies and passions. If they're the creative type, quite often, male or female, they have been too busy their whole lives allocating their free time to that passion and haven't bothering breeding.
You'll find loads of childfree in those settings. Also people who own their own small businesses.
Look for artistic type groups or other groups where the members have interesting hobbies and passions. If they're the creative type, quite often, male or female, they have been too busy their whole lives allocating their free time to that passion and haven't bothering breeding.
You'll find loads of childfree in those settings. Also people who own their own small businesses.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 06, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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Yurble
I don't mind guys who say they're not sure. I've never had a relationship end because of someone wanting kids so I figure there are plenty of other ways it can end before that ever becomes an issue...
Personal experiences vary. This may just be my personal experience, but from what I have seen, it is women who are way more likely to push for kids and end the relationship because of it. Again, that is what I have encountered.
I never had a relationship last because of the issue. Sooner or later, demands to breed would come and end was in sight. Nothing else really mattered to the women that I have encountered. Getting a date for a man is easy as long as he is willing to either breed or date a single moo. I am not making this up either, I think Marco Polo and Keeper Of Traken know exactly what I am talking about.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 07, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Techie
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Yurble
I don't mind guys who say they're not sure. I've never had a relationship end because of someone wanting kids so I figure there are plenty of other ways it can end before that ever becomes an issue...
Personal experiences vary. This may just be my personal experience, but from what I have seen, it is women who are way more likely to push for kids and end the relationship because of it. Again, that is what I have encountered.
I never had a relationship last because of the issue. Sooner or later, demands to breed would come and end was in sight. Nothing else really mattered to the women that I have encountered. Getting a date for a man is easy as long as he is willing to either breed or date a single moo. I am not making this up either, I think Marco Polo and Keeper Of Traken know exactly what I am talking about.
Yes, I think in general more of the push for breeding comes from women. I've literally never had a guy go all creepy wanna-breed on me. I've had some relationships end, with men who went on to breed, but that was never why the relationship ended.
But I'm also not doing any online dating. Maybe those kind of men concentrate there.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 27, 2015 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 105 |
My husband and I split 18 months ago after 18 years together. He's now "a catch" because he's in his mid-40's and doesn't have kids, but most of the women he meets have kids or want them, which scares the crap out of him (we're still very good friends, that's how I know this.) He can find lots of women to go to dinner or whatever with, none to be serious about unless he is willing to take on kids.
I've personally found that guys without kids who are a little bit younger than I thought I should date are actually much more interested in me than I thought, because I don't have kids and make it clear that I don't want any. Plus I'm established in my career and don't have the hang ups that women their own age or younger have: a ticking clock if they are in their 30's and want kids, or trying to build a career if they are in their 20's. Not sure how old you are, but if you are in your 40's like me, lower your acceptable age range and look for a 30 year old. You may be surprised! This whole experience has convinced me that many many young men do not want kids til they are forced into it by some young woman who does. Good luck!
I've personally found that guys without kids who are a little bit younger than I thought I should date are actually much more interested in me than I thought, because I don't have kids and make it clear that I don't want any. Plus I'm established in my career and don't have the hang ups that women their own age or younger have: a ticking clock if they are in their 30's and want kids, or trying to build a career if they are in their 20's. Not sure how old you are, but if you are in your 40's like me, lower your acceptable age range and look for a 30 year old. You may be surprised! This whole experience has convinced me that many many young men do not want kids til they are forced into it by some young woman who does. Good luck!
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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freedomchick
I've personally found that guys without kids who are a little bit younger than I thought I should date are actually much more interested in me than I thought, because I don't have kids and make it clear that I don't want any. Plus I'm established in my career and don't have the hang ups that women their own age or younger have: a ticking clock if they are in their 30's and want kids, or trying to build a career if they are in their 20's. Not sure how old you are, but if you are in your 40's like me, lower your acceptable age range and look for a 30 year old. You may be surprised! This whole experience has convinced me that many many young men do not want kids til they are forced into it by some young woman who does. Good luck!
I've found that to be the case as well. I'm pretty indifferent to age, so I focus on compatibility (not having children is a factor in that). It's just simple math that there are more men 21-30 to my taste than men 31-40 or 41-50, even if at least 75% of men under 25 can be written off as too immature.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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freedomchick
This whole experience has convinced me that many many young men do not want kids til they are forced into it by some young woman who does.
Exactly! I am a man and I am very glad to see a woman say it. I have gone through hell and high water when I dated "CF" women, who in reality were "CF" until the baby time bomb went off. It was my personal experience that true CF women only exist in extremely small numbers. It is also men who often have to fight for their right not to breed. All I can tell your ex is good luck finding someone CF - he may just have better luck finding a needle in a haystack.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 198 |
A few years ago I was talking about dating sites with one of my friends who was a dating coach at that time. She told me that women shouldn't put "want kids" on the profile, because it scares men away, they will think that she needs a man only for breeding purposes. She told me the correct way to put it was "maybe". When I told her I wrote "don't want kids" there, she said "oh no, that will scare them away" (apparently that signals I must be a heartless bitch who eats children for breakfast). Looks like the only thing that's not intimidating for the majority of men is a quiet, shy "maybe", meaning "I'm waiting for a big, strong man to tell me whether I want kids or not."
(btw no wonder her coaching business never really took off; then she married, had kids and dropped off my radar.)
(btw no wonder her coaching business never really took off; then she married, had kids and dropped off my radar.)
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 21 |
If we put in our profiles we want kids, dudes go running. If we put we *don't* want kids, dudes go running. So according to her, women are supposed to resort to pretending to be undecided, pliable, apologetic, mealy mouthed submissives, or else we offend the menz delicate sensibilities? Uh, fuck that noise! How about dudez grow a pair?Quote
tea princess
A few years ago I was talking about dating sites with one of my friends who was a dating coach at that time. She told me that women shouldn't put "want kids" on the profile, because it scares men away, they will think that she needs a man only for breeding purposes. She told me the correct way to put it was "maybe". When I told her I wrote "don't want kids" there, she said "oh no, that will scare them away" Looks like the only thing that's not intimidating for the majority of men is a quiet, shy "maybe", meaning "I'm waiting for a big, strong man to tell me whether I want kids or not."
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,003 |
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cinja
If we put in our profiles we want kids, dudes go running. If we put we *don't* want kids, dudes go running. So according to her, women are supposed to resort to pretending to be undecided, pliable, apologetic, mealy mouthed submissives, or else we offend the menz delicate sensibilities? Uh, fuck that noise! How about dudez grow a pair?Quote
tea princess
A few years ago I was talking about dating sites with one of my friends who was a dating coach at that time. She told me that women shouldn't put "want kids" on the profile, because it scares men away, they will think that she needs a man only for breeding purposes. She told me the correct way to put it was "maybe". When I told her I wrote "don't want kids" there, she said "oh no, that will scare them away" Looks like the only thing that's not intimidating for the majority of men is a quiet, shy "maybe", meaning "I'm waiting for a big, strong man to tell me whether I want kids or not."
About 8-10 years ago, I created an online dating profile.
It repeated in various types of wording and locations in the ad that I am child free and not interested dating fathers or wanna-bes.
I was strategically purposefully trying to drive off 99% of the males who would look at the ad.
Why waste time on such a mis-match?
I wanted contact only from firmly childfree men, even if that was only a couple of people out of thousands.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
I have never actively used a dating site, but at a continuous suggestion of a few friends, at one time I did create a fake profile just so I could see what the hype was all about. I am a guy so my story is a little different. Dating sites are basically full of single moos and wanna moos. For any guy who wants to meet a CF woman, I really do not think that ANY online dating site has anything useful in the store.
For the question "Do you want kids?", here are common responses:
"Rather not say"
"Undecided"
"No"
This "No" is often not an actual no, this simply means that she does not want a man to have kids, but she herself may want kids or already has them - at least that is what I found out.
Many women on dating sites also seem to skirt the question "Do you want to have kids in the future?" when asked directly. They instead answer a question with a question or instead talk about something that I did not even ask to talk about. All are signs of wanna breeders.
After seeing what I saw, I have come to conclusion that many people are there to find someone to breed with. I really think that CF women are not into dating sites very much if at all.
At one point and time, I heard that someone was creating a dating site for CF people only. I would imagine those don't survive because of very low membership potential. On the other hand, websites where duhs can cheat on their wives are overflowing with memberships.
For the question "Do you want kids?", here are common responses:
"Rather not say"
"Undecided"
"No"
This "No" is often not an actual no, this simply means that she does not want a man to have kids, but she herself may want kids or already has them - at least that is what I found out.
Many women on dating sites also seem to skirt the question "Do you want to have kids in the future?" when asked directly. They instead answer a question with a question or instead talk about something that I did not even ask to talk about. All are signs of wanna breeders.
After seeing what I saw, I have come to conclusion that many people are there to find someone to breed with. I really think that CF women are not into dating sites very much if at all.
At one point and time, I heard that someone was creating a dating site for CF people only. I would imagine those don't survive because of very low membership potential. On the other hand, websites where duhs can cheat on their wives are overflowing with memberships.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,735 |
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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selidororous
After hearing so much about online dating I am actually surprised there is no childfree dating site yet.
It's an idea.
If there is one that ever comes up, I have a suspicion that it will be overran by single moos and duhs, because those kinds feel that rules only apply to the other party and not them. No kids simply means that the person that moo/duh wants to date cannot have kids. Aside from that, probably half the moos on dating sites conveniently forget to mention that they have brats. They just leave that section blank or say something like "I will tell you later" or " I would rather not say" or "None of your business".
Another challenge is that there is not that many CF people. If one was to put together a website, it would either have to be only in very large cities or have a limited area where there are many CF people. Other than that, there can be matches but they would likely be thousands of miles away and that does not work very well in the dating world.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 28, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
Here is another thought on why some CF dating sites may not be up and running. What if, just what if, people fear that some upset duh or a moo tries to take a legal action against a dating site because they are technically a protected class and discrimination against a protected class is not legal.
Anything is possible. It is not legal to post a job and say I only hire single CF people. But, it is legal to only hire only married and childed people. Reason is that CF and single are not a protected class but married and childed are.
Us, here, we are protected by First Amendment. But, when it comes to dating, it is no longer a free speech or free press issue. It is something different. One could say a "denial of service based on family status." I don't know, but, it is a possibility.
Anything is possible. It is not legal to post a job and say I only hire single CF people. But, it is legal to only hire only married and childed people. Reason is that CF and single are not a protected class but married and childed are.
Us, here, we are protected by First Amendment. But, when it comes to dating, it is no longer a free speech or free press issue. It is something different. One could say a "denial of service based on family status." I don't know, but, it is a possibility.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 29, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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cassia
About 8-10 years ago, I created an online dating profile.
It repeated in various types of wording and locations in the ad that I am child free and not interested dating fathers or wanna-bes.
I was strategically purposefully trying to drive off 99% of the males who would look at the ad.
Why waste time on such a mis-match?
I wanted contact only from firmly childfree men, even if that was only a couple of people out of thousands.
I'd like to have a childfree dating site and the option to ask have kids? and the only answer is no. Want kids? and the only answer is no. But I've had men lie and tell me they didn't want kids to find out later they do. I've also had them claim to not have kids but they do and inevitably single moos and duhs would end up doing this. Also, while I haven't lied in an online profile I've learned to be very general because I've had many men agree with me and pretend to be just like me in as many aspects as possible. As soon as I find out they are liars I no longer date them. Not sure what the point of lying is as I will figure out well before I'd consider sleeping with or seeing them exclusively. Luckily it hasn't happened in awhile as I've given my bullshit detector a tune up!
Also, there is a category of men who have had vasectomies and will state no to wanting kids. In reality, they just missed their shot and some feel frustration and would gladly jump at the opportunity to raise a relative's kids if the circumstances warrant. Not exactly childfree or something to base a relationship on. I can see this scenario happily continuing (no kids in the future, shared interests and compatibility) and resulting in marriage and a brother or uncle dies, leaving kids orphaned. Who better to raise them than the childless relative who regrets not having kids and is now married? It might be worth rolling the dice in these circumstances as long as everything else is good but there is always the slim chance the opportunity to parent will kick in for the childless spouse. And if they truly feel parenting is instinctual and something they missed out on good luck in convincing them to not parent!
Unfortunately, finding a good childfree one is very difficult and a website is no guarantee the members will be childfree.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 29, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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freya
I'd like to have a childfree dating site and the option to ask have kids? and the only answer is no. Want kids? and the only answer is no.
Isn't the only question 'Sterilized?' and the answer choices "Yes, by method ___", "Cannot find a doctor willing to do it", and "Post-Menopausal"
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 29, 2015 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 606 |
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freya
Also, while I haven't lied in an online profile I've learned to be very general because I've had many men agree with me and pretend to be just like me in as many aspects as possible. As soon as I find out they are liars I no longer date them. Not sure what the point of lying is as I will figure out well before I'd consider sleeping with or seeing them exclusively.
I've also experienced this first hand in the past, its supposed to be a flirting tactic, they WANT you to like them, so they try to be what you want, I see it as the same as the little chicky-moos that pound the gym hard till they land a boyfriend, then blimp out once they think he wont leave them (such as, once their married or have children),
if the relationship if based on a lie, the truth will eventually come out, and the results normally are not good, so yeah I don't see the point in it either, but then again, the whole point of male/female sexual relationships are usually for the point of procreation, if you can lie long enough to procreate, then it doesn't matter to the breeder liar, because their goal has been met if sex was achieved and dna was passed on, for the rest of us, this tactic is pointless and annoying, because it wastes time we could be investing in finding a like-minded individual.
I have a guy friend who purposely changes himself as much as possible to what the girl wants him to be, for him, this works alright at the start of the relationship, he gets laid a bunch, and feels great from all the praise of being the perfect boyfriend (In the chicks eyes), but after 2-3 months, he gets tired of the fact he cant be himself and do things he enjoys, and tries to go out of his way to be an asshole to get her to break it off with him, or at least settle for the real him as a lesser evil,
meanwhile everyone who actually knows him just asks "why don't you be real from the start and find someone who likes you for it?", his logic is that will take to long, he doesn't like being single, which is also another point I find most common in breeders of either gender, wether or not they have kids yet. -i'll save that rant for another day and relevant topic
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 29, 2015 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
Well there is that I Do Not Want Kids site, but some people here have speculated that it was solely set up so the webmaster/site owner could land a wife. The site design is absolute shit and looks like it was done in Angelfire, but it still seems to be a functioning site. I joined just looking for CF friends local to me back when I was in college and I still talk to and text the one guy I met on there. I wasn't looking for anything beyond friendship, but I do regret never meeting the guy in real life when I had the chance as he's pretty cool.
If there's anything I really hate about that place is any users without profile photos are labeled "BS losers." They could have a complete profile, but no pic = full of shit. I can get why a person may not want to put up a photo at first - maybe they want to be judged by who they are first and not their appearance, which may or may not mean they're physically unattractive.
For the hell of it, I logged back in to my old profile and I saw a couple people who are sort of near where I am. Lot of people from Philly on there, for some reason, but from what I've seen, the people there seem genuine.
Sadly, there's really no way to keep breeders out of a childfree dating site. Sure, you can take away the option to say "I have/want kids," but they'll just lie about it anyway. I mean look at our favorite troll kimmie, who made up an entire convoluted bullshit persona and completely lied about having brats just to stay here and pretend to be childfree.
If there's anything I really hate about that place is any users without profile photos are labeled "BS losers." They could have a complete profile, but no pic = full of shit. I can get why a person may not want to put up a photo at first - maybe they want to be judged by who they are first and not their appearance, which may or may not mean they're physically unattractive.
For the hell of it, I logged back in to my old profile and I saw a couple people who are sort of near where I am. Lot of people from Philly on there, for some reason, but from what I've seen, the people there seem genuine.
Sadly, there's really no way to keep breeders out of a childfree dating site. Sure, you can take away the option to say "I have/want kids," but they'll just lie about it anyway. I mean look at our favorite troll kimmie, who made up an entire convoluted bullshit persona and completely lied about having brats just to stay here and pretend to be childfree.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
I have another theory on single duhs and CF dating. A few posters on this board have mentioned that men push for kids less frequently than women do. I wonder if the opposite is true. Men fight for their right to be CF less frequently than women do. When I really think about it, a question comes up. How many men really have the balls to walk away if their SO is demanding baby batter for breeding? Based on real life experience and based on what I see on this board,CF women, if are cornered about breeding, they will fight with all that they got. But men? I think many just go with the flow and allow their SO to dictate how things will happen. I happen to not be one of those guys and that is why I probably still have my CF life. I am flexible in many other ways, but when it comes to breeding, that is not for me under any circumstances and no matter how many women tried to convince me otherwise, I have always stood my ground no matter what the outcome would have been.
These sorry ass, ball-less, duhs, they want to get online and bitch about women, I have something to say to them. The horse has left the barn. If they wanted to date CF women, they should have had the balls to tell the one who wanted to breed one simple word: "NO". These men know they are fucked. Something is telling me that these men are not looking for a true date. They are looking for a mentor who can straighten out their life for them.
I understand that some men get oopsed. That is a crappy situation. But, it is not always the situation. I venture to say, most of the time, pregnancy happens because the wanna duh agreed to it. Or got his arm twisted into it. Whatever it may be, more often than not, he had a chance to say no and he didn't. Some continued to slide it in after she clearly told them she was off the pill. What were these duhs thinking was going to happen?
I attribute all the single duh whining to this - lack of self control and lack of ability to look back and admit that mistakes just happen and that holding others responsible for one's mistakes is dumb.
These sorry ass, ball-less, duhs, they want to get online and bitch about women, I have something to say to them. The horse has left the barn. If they wanted to date CF women, they should have had the balls to tell the one who wanted to breed one simple word: "NO". These men know they are fucked. Something is telling me that these men are not looking for a true date. They are looking for a mentor who can straighten out their life for them.
I understand that some men get oopsed. That is a crappy situation. But, it is not always the situation. I venture to say, most of the time, pregnancy happens because the wanna duh agreed to it. Or got his arm twisted into it. Whatever it may be, more often than not, he had a chance to say no and he didn't. Some continued to slide it in after she clearly told them she was off the pill. What were these duhs thinking was going to happen?
I attribute all the single duh whining to this - lack of self control and lack of ability to look back and admit that mistakes just happen and that holding others responsible for one's mistakes is dumb.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,603 |
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Techie
I have another theory on single duhs and CF dating. A few posters on this board have mentioned that men push for kids less frequently than women do. I wonder if the opposite is true. Men fight for their right to be CF less frequently than women do. When I really think about it, a question comes up. How many men really have the balls to walk away if their SO is demanding baby batter for breeding? Based on real life experience and based on what I see on this board,CF women, if are cornered about breeding, they will fight with all that they got. But men? I think many just go with the flow and allow their SO to dictate how things will happen. I happen to not be one of those guys and that is why I probably still have my CF life. I am flexible in many other ways, but when it comes to breeding, that is not for me under any circumstances and no matter how many women tried to convince me otherwise, I have always stood my ground no matter what the outcome would have been.
These sorry ass, ball-less, duhs, they want to get online and bitch about women, I have something to say to them. The horse has left the barn. If they wanted to date CF women, they should have had the balls to tell the one who wanted to breed one simple word: "NO". These men know they are fucked. Something is telling me that these men are not looking for a true date. They are looking for a mentor who can straighten out their life for them.
I understand that some men get oopsed. That is a crappy situation. But, it is not always the situation. I venture to say, most of the time, pregnancy happens because the wanna duh agreed to it. Or got his arm twisted into it. Whatever it may be, more often than not, he had a chance to say no and he didn't. Some continued to slide it in after she clearly told them she was off the pill. What were these duhs thinking was going to happen?
I attribute all the single duh whining to this - lack of self control and lack of ability to look back and admit that mistakes just happen and that holding others responsible for one's mistakes is dumb.
Interesting point. I always thought marriage would inevitably lead to children, which I knew a long time ago I didn't want, so I avoided getting married or even dating anyone. I just didn't want that in my life. It wasn't until I discovered sites like this one that I realized there were other like minded people out there. I think there's a double standard with CF men and women. With CF women, if she doesn't want kids, she's independent and being self sufficient but if a man doesn't want kids, it's because he refused to grow up. All totally stupid in my opinion.
I found my CF wife when neither of us were even looking or wanted to be in a relationship, we started as just friends and it sort of grew from there. I had the big V just before we got married and have never been happier. My only regret is I should have had it sooner.
I'm 47 and from what I'm reading, if my wife were to pass away suddenly, I'd probably spend the remainder of my years alone being a widower.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
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JohnDrake
I found my CF wife when neither of us were even looking or wanted to be in a relationship, we started as just friends and it sort of grew from there. I had the big V just before we got married and have never been happier. My only regret is I should have had it sooner.
I'm 47 and from what I'm reading, if my wife were to pass away suddenly, I'd probably spend the remainder of my years alone being a widower.
That would be my expectation as well. From what I am experiencing with people my age if they are divorced or widowed they have kids and grandkids that are their life, or if they are single/cf they don't really want a committed relationship at this stage.
The way I see it those of us who have had a good number of years being with another compatible loving CF person already won the lottery. If I lost my SO I'd be at peace and very grateful for what I had. I could be quite happy being a great friend/neighbor/companion/volunteer, etc in my later years.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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JohnDrake
I think there's a double standard with CF men and women. With CF women, if she doesn't want kids, she's independent and being self sufficient but if a man doesn't want kids, it's because he refused to grow up. All totally stupid in my opinion.
I have been mistakenly called MRA by more than one person when I would stand up for my right to not breed. You know what? MRA's like to cry and whine after the horse has left the barn. I will stand up for my right to remain CF regardless of what consequences I am threatened with and I will do it while the iron is hot. I have a great deal of respect for all people, but when I am told how to live my life, I will pull every Feminist phrase that I can find and use it. To me, Feminism maybe about women's rights but women are people and I am a person too and if that is what I have to use to defend myself - hey, sometimes we must fight fire with fire. Men too can be independent and men too don't have to let someone run their life. I know I don't allow people to tell me what to do.
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JohnDrake
I'm 47 and from what I'm reading, if my wife were to pass away suddenly, I'd probably spend the remainder of my years alone being a widower.
No you won't unless that is the lifestyle that you would choose. Meeting people on dating sites does not always work for CF people. But, meeting people the way you met your wife works wonders. Do what you can to keep a circle of friends. The help they offer when you are down on your luck can just be the help that you need to get back out there and meet new people.
I know a few CF hangouts. The ratio of women to men is like 3 to 1, as long as single duhs are not allowed in there. Allow single duhs and you will have 100 men to each CF woman. Then, shortly, there will be zero women and a bunch of whiny bitches duhs. Here is another trick. Single moos that I have encountered, they often have CF women friends. Single moos often know they can't have you, so they will often introduce you to their CF friend. Don't date single moos but you can be polite enough to them to get the info.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
I assume men are generally indifferent to breeding because they won't be the ones who carry the parasite for nine months, push it out and do all the shit work involved in raising it. Plus a lot of guys will give their shrieking harpy wives anything they want if it means those wives will just shut up and fuck them already. Pussy is a powerful force, and there are few men who will turn down bareback even if it means knocking the woman up. In many ways, men have a lot less to lose by breeding, but they still get all the bragging rights that go along with it.
I bet if it was made clear that the guy would be raising the crotch mongrel and not his wife/girlfriend, he'd suddenly be a little more certain about his stance on breeding. But even then, some would still agree to it and proceed to spend his time looking for another set of tits to dump Junior on (grandparents, siblings, aunts, nannies, female friends, exes, etc.).
I've heard it go in the opposite direction too. Women are told they are nothing and totally worthless if they don't have children, that they'll never understand what real love is, they are not real women and that their lives will be incomplete if they don't breed. But as far as societal views are concerned, a man can still be seen as having a normal and fulfilling life even if he doesn't reproduce.
I bet if it was made clear that the guy would be raising the crotch mongrel and not his wife/girlfriend, he'd suddenly be a little more certain about his stance on breeding. But even then, some would still agree to it and proceed to spend his time looking for another set of tits to dump Junior on (grandparents, siblings, aunts, nannies, female friends, exes, etc.).
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JohnDrake
I think there's a double standard with CF men and women. With CF women, if she doesn't want kids, she's independent and being self sufficient but if a man doesn't want kids, it's because he refused to grow up. All totally stupid in my opinion.
I've heard it go in the opposite direction too. Women are told they are nothing and totally worthless if they don't have children, that they'll never understand what real love is, they are not real women and that their lives will be incomplete if they don't breed. But as far as societal views are concerned, a man can still be seen as having a normal and fulfilling life even if he doesn't reproduce.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,603 |
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Techie
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JohnDrake
I'm 47 and from what I'm reading, if my wife were to pass away suddenly, I'd probably spend the remainder of my years alone being a widower.
No you won't unless that is the lifestyle that you would choose. Meeting people on dating sites does not always work for CF people. But, meeting people the way you met your wife works wonders. Do what you can to keep a circle of friends. The help they offer when you are down on your luck can just be the help that you need to get back out there and meet new people.
I know a few CF hangouts. The ratio of women to men is like 3 to 1, as long as single duhs are not allowed in there. Allow single duhs and you will have 100 men to each CF woman. Then, shortly, there will be zero women and a bunch of whiny bitches duhs. Here is another trick. Single moos that I have encountered, they often have CF women friends. Single moos often know they can't have you, so they will often introduce you to their CF friend. Don't date single moos but you can be polite enough to them to get the info.
I met my wife online in a discussion forum for a common hobby we shared at the time. We started off just swapping tips and my helping her with her computer problems. It then morphed into a friendship and we started talking on the phone a lot, learning more about each other. I then travelled across the country to meet her, scared to death I'd let her down, but I didn't. A few years after that, we married, and have been happy ever since. The chances of that happening again are slim to none.
I had decided I didn't want children but she was sort of on the fence, but then decided she didn't want them either. We are not only spouses, but we're best friends who keep no secrets and trust each other all the way. Finding something like that is rare and am not sure I could find it again.
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Re: Childfree dating and why I hate it June 30, 2015 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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blondie
The way I see it those of us who have had a good number of years being with another compatible loving CF person already won the lottery. If I lost my SO I'd be at peace and very grateful for what I had. I could be quite happy being a great friend/neighbor/companion/volunteer, etc in my later years.
Those are some really good points Blondie. I had an SO for a relatively long time too and things were really good, until her desire-to-breed-time-bomb went off. With that said, I too can say that I did win a lottery because at least for the duration of the relationship, she was CF. I think that today I am able to enjoy single life better than many other people because I got to experience the good times and how some people say it, I got to get it out of my system.
I have met CF women since then, but something weird happens. In my mind, I may have a desire to get to know them and all that. But, when she actually tries to reciprocate and tries to get to know me, I don't know why, I pull back. Some people say that I just love my freedom too much while others say I just haven't came across "the one" yet. Maybe I am just numb to relationships. Who knows.
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