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Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

Posted by SlumSlut 
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 01, 2012
Yep.. Ondinette, that is 'baby stalking.' It's one of those subtle things where she tries not to be obvious... but she's being just as obnoxious as if she stuck the kid in your face. IMO
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 01, 2012
ugh - i was inadverently babystalked by invitation recently.

mr. minkoff & i were out to dinner with another couple - they are CF but are breeder-pleasers nonetheless. at the table next to us was a couple with a baby, and our friends made the mistake of waving or whatever to the kid. naturally that opened the stalking floodgates: "show the lady what the lion says! the lion says RAWR!blow kisses!" and so on. luckily it only lasted about 5 minutes as they were getting ready to leave. mr.minkoff and i just ignored them all and looked at the wine list.

i HATE being a breeder pleaser by association. :mad2
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 02, 2012
I worked night shift a few days back, so I stopped at the gas station on my way to work to pick up some milk and snacks. I was standing in line with my arms full for what seemed like longer than normal while two apparent teen moms chatted with the female cashier. One of the girls was holding a baby, talking to it in that coo-voice, telling it to "say hi" to the cashier, even though the baby was still clearly non-verbal.

On the floor, a toddler girl stood behind the teens, staring at me. I made a point of completely ignoring the toddler and everyone else. The toddler evidently found me fascinating though, and walked right up to me, getting close enough that I could knock her over if I just ended my knees slightly. The teens smiled at me over their shoulders, waiting for me to acknowledge the children. It didn't happen. Confused, the teens kept looking back at me as they finally actually made their purchases and got the hell out of the way.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 02, 2012
Sometimes if you cough a lot (really good, hacking ones), you can convice folks you are ill, and they hustle off.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
I got stuck in an elevator with a new moo the other day. I work in a hospital so the baby was only a day or two old. The lift was quite full and I was stuck right next to moo and lump. As soon as the doors closed she starts cooing away, "You're so beautiful., YOu're such a gorgeous baby." two faces puking

It was great though cuz nobody paid much attention to her and as soon as the elevator cleared out, I moved as far away as I could get. The shocked look on the moo's face when nobody said anything to her was priceless smug
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 07, 2012
I don't suppose this counts as babystalking, but I didn't feel that this warranted a new thread.

But, has anyone noticed that an awful lot of kids seem to just...hang their mouths open like they're catching flies? Is it a sign that they're getting dumber, or or they all so full of snot that they have to be a gaggle of mouth breathers? I count it as mild babystalking because I often catch them staring at me, mouths agape and eyes glazed.

Also close-but-not-quite babystalking (no new thread for same reason as above):
I was in class in a room where you can hear what video the class next door is watching. I don't know if it was some infernal video or, oh please no, a live demo, but it was about thirty seconds straight of kids shrieking, I shit you not. I don't have issues hearing, but certain pitches cause my left ear to "thump" like it does with pressure changes. Not fun, and clearly they wanted other people to pay attention to the screaming brats.

Additionally, there's some girl who entertains two kids (charges? Perhaps their parent(s) work at my university and she takes care of them during breaks? Why the fuck aren't these kids in school - their own?) while I'm at lunch. I can hear them squeal over my full coverage headphones playing rock music.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 07, 2012
^about the mouth hanging open....I think it is due to the rise in allergy and asthma problems. I used to do that because I could not breathe. We all know how modern breeders produce nothing but sickly brats.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 07, 2012
Quote
peace-n-quiet
^about the mouth hanging open....I think it is due to the rise in allergy and asthma problems. I used to do that because I could not breathe. We all know how modern breeders produce nothing but sickly brats.

Ah, okay, that explains it. It's still unsettling, though.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal
Quote
peace-n-quiet
^about the mouth hanging open....I think it is due to the rise in allergy and asthma problems. I used to do that because I could not breathe. We all know how modern breeders produce nothing but sickly brats.

I don't disagree about the rise in allergy and asthma, but that's not the reason.

Anyone who can't figure out how to breathe through their mouth without looking like a slack-jawed hillbilly is just a dumbass. I speak as an experienced mouth-breather grinning smiley
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 08, 2012
^slack jawed hill billy hahahahaha.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 12, 2012
I don't think the percentage of the population with allergies (environmental) has increased, just that diagnosis was better. 70-80 years ago people just assumed they had a cold and lived with it...

People don't babystalk me, but half the time I look like a crazy punk/goth chick (tattoos, no piercings...piercings creep me out).
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 18, 2012
Not sure if it's babystalking or not, but I recall some tardler talking about, "da boy wif long haiw (IE: me)" when I was out grocery shopping just last week or so. GOD I hate it when kyds do that shit. angrily flogging with a whip
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 18, 2012
Yep, that's babystalking. It was looking for reciprocation for the attention it was giving you.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 18, 2012
Must have been, over-hearing the moo cutesy-talk it, instead of telling the sprog to shut up, keep it's mouth shut and mind it's own business.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 20, 2012
I just got babystalked not even five minutes ago, in the library.

This library has the bottom floor as the adults section, and the top floor is the children's area. Normally, people with kids travel right up the stairs to the kids area and stay there until they are ready to leave.

Not this moo. Complete with too-tight shorts, a fanny pack, and a day-glo orange t-shirt.

She gets a book from the kids area, comes down to the adults study area and starts reading to her brat, and trying to get the kid to read with her. Kid loses interest, and starts crawling under the study tables. Of course, a bunch of people are asking what the toadler's name is, cooing at him, etc . . . I'm watching the episode of Greys Anatomy that I missed when the kid jumps out from under my table and starts poking me and saying hi.

Moo looks at me disapprovingly because I asked who the pest belongs to and if they don't remove him from my personal space, I will go find the library security.

Lucky for me, shortly after he knocked someone's cane out from under them and almost made them fall . . . security saw it and told them to go to the children's area or leave. grinning smiley
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 24, 2012
I went to the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center today to take some pretty pictures. At a turtle pond, some moo was loudly "educating" her brat.

Moo: "THESE ARE, uh lemme see, RED-EARED SLIDER TURTLES, SHARTLEY JR. WOOOOOOOWW."
R.-E.S.T.: Oh GAWD, make it stop!

Clearly not amused.

Tons of breeders there to ogle the flowers. One set placed their loaf in front of a patch of bluebonnets for a photo-op. A loaf. They propped it up and everything. Another crew pulled out all manner of iPhones and cameras all at once - but did they photograph the Indian Paintbrushes? No! They descended upon a covered loaf because "omg omg he's a-smilin'!" The Wildflower center was just full of fucking giganto-strollers. A double-wide, even. (On a side note, I learned today that Costco carts are made to seat TWO loaves. Not just a fat one; there are four holes and two sets of belts. Here is what GIS offers.)


On a positive note, though, I got my pretty pictures. smiling smiley

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 25, 2012
Quote
michaela
The Wildflower center was just full of fucking giganto-strollers. A double-wide, even. (On a side note, I learned today that Costco carts are made to seat TWO loaves. Not just a fat one; there are four holes and two sets of belts.

Sadly, not surprising. There is a butterfly center near where I live, but I've given up going there because I don't want to pay eighteen bucks and have to deal with strollers and screeching, toddling loaves on the paths. I wish there were adults-only hours because it would be a great place to go and just zen out if it weren't for that.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 25, 2012
My husband and I were eating sushi on the patio at this place a few weeks ago. We were by the window, and there was a Hip Duhd at a table with his toadler on the other side. He was letting Loafford stand in its high chair and tap the window to get our attention while he drank his beer and ignored the kid. I tried to ignore it, and after a few minutes the duhd finally tried to get the kid to sit down. Of course that lasted all of three minutes before Loafford started up again with the window tapping. eye rolling smiley Fortunately they left before we finished our sushi platter.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 27, 2012
Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to grab a few things for a dinner I'm planning. I was just reaching into the freezer for some orange juice when I heard a man's loud baby-talk voice behind me.

"you'd better stop talking back to me or she's going to say something to you. She doesn't like it when you do that."

I grabbed my juice and saw the man rolling his cart between me and my own. In he baby seat of his cart was a small girl of about maybe three. The man kept grinnIng at me and cheerfully "threatening" the child that I would say something to her. I gave him an irritated look and then walked briskly around him to my cart and was on my way.

He went interested in actually disciplining the kid. She barely spoke, in fact, and when she did it was too soft for me to even hear. Interestingly, she seemed to be giving her duh the same "are you fucking kidding me?" look that I had.

He was doing it for attention. He wanted me to not only comment on his kd, but also pay him attention by involving myself in his little problem.
Single dads seem to hang out at supermarkets. What's up with that? Must be visitation weekend and the cupboards are bare in the ol' bachelor pad, so gotta kit the shops.

Was babystalked for the first time at the supermarket last weekend - it was stealth, didn't realise it was happening for a second there.

Was at the checkout and the duh was next in line, with his daughter on a scooter (off topic slightly but kids on scooters in shops SHITS ME)

I had overheard him say in that pronounced, annoying voice 'what do YOU want for dinner?' 'Can you help Dad carry the shopping?' and asking her random, dumb Qs. I was attempting to tune it out.

Then he said to me 'Oh wow, I love your tattoos!' and me, of course I'm all 'thanks!' cause I don't mind people commenting/asking Qs mostly...he was asking where I got it done, etc. Then he goes to the girl 'Look at that snotley, aren't they pretty pictures??'

Immediately realised he was trying to gain attention to the little girl, so I turned and started pretending to look in my bag and ignored him till the transaction was complete.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 28, 2012
Agreed. Both occasions where I have beed unambiguously baby-stalked by an adult, it's been by a man at a grocery store without female accompaniment.

I guess I'm supposed to just cream my pants and beg him to let me follow him home and play mommy whenever a single dad decides he wants my attention.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 28, 2012
Did the grocery shopping this evening. Left one isle to go back later due to the MOMOMOMOMOMOMOM...

Coming down one isle thought I heard something wrong a pulled a sudden stop at the end. Just at that point feral sprog darts in front of the cart and hits his knees to slide like a jazz dancer. Looks at me like "aren't I cute" and moo just looks at me for sympathy. The look turned to withdrawal when she saw my eyes narrow and lips tighten and then I did a sharp turn away around sprog.

Hit the back isle. Duh playing fucking ball with sprog! Damn near hit me in the face with the thing! Guy was bigger than me but looked damn near scared by the death glare. By now I'm getting a case of getthefuckdoneandsplititis. Then next feral kid tagging along behind moo darted in front of the cart. Fuck it, anything I missed I'll go out at 5 AM and find.

Go to the check out. One line is backing up. Why? Full of sprog food and needing a WIC / price check. Got in the next line. Went remarkably smooth. Got home and found I'd missed deodorant. Went to the near by over priced big box pharmacy. It was worth it to pay extra for the convenience and sprogless umm ambiance. .

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 29, 2012
Quote
juliewashere88
Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to grab a few things for a dinner I'm planning. I was just reaching into the freezer for some orange juice when I heard a man's loud baby-talk voice behind me.

"you'd better stop talking back to me or she's going to say something to you. She doesn't like it when you do that."

I grabbed my juice and saw the man rolling his cart between me and my own. In he baby seat of his cart was a small girl of about maybe three. The man kept grinnIng at me and cheerfully "threatening" the child that I would say something to her. I gave him an irritated look and then walked briskly around him to my cart and was on my way.

He went interested in actually disciplining the kid. She barely spoke, in fact, and when she did it was too soft for me to even hear. Interestingly, she seemed to be giving her duh the same "are you fucking kidding me?" look that I had.

He was doing it for attention. He wanted me to not only comment on his kd, but also pay him attention by involving myself in his little problem.

Get used to that. Men are instructed that kids and dogs are chick magnets, and that's true - but for certain kinds of chicks. Money works the same way on another type, etc.

I go with charm and sense of humor (good looks out the window past ten years ) - works occasionally ;b

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 29, 2012
Quote
thom_c
Did the grocery shopping this evening. Left one isle to go back later due to the MOMOMOMOMOMOMOM...

Coming down one isle thought I heard something wrong a pulled a sudden stop at the end. Just at that point feral sprog darts in front of the cart and hits his knees to slide like a jazz dancer. Looks at me like "aren't I cute" and moo just looks at me for sympathy. The look turned to withdrawal when she saw my eyes narrow and lips tighten and then I did a sharp turn away around sprog.

Hit the back isle. Duh playing fucking ball with sprog! Damn near hit me in the face with the thing! Guy was bigger than me but looked damn near scared by the death glare. By now I'm getting a case of getthefuckdoneandsplititis. Then next feral kid tagging along behind moo darted in front of the cart. Fuck it, anything I missed I'll go out at 5 AM and find.

Go to the check out. One line is backing up. Why? Full of sprog food and needing a WIC / price check. Got in the next line. Went remarkably smooth. Got home and found I'd missed deodorant. Went to the near by over priced big box pharmacy. It was worth it to pay extra for the convenience and sprogless umm ambiance. .

I buy as much stuff in bulk as I can :/ Go shopping early mornings on weekdays.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
April 01, 2012
I notice a lot of you guys have grocery shopping horror stories. Is it just me, or does grocery shopping seem like a fucking three-ring circus these days? There's a new store in my 'hood, and every time I go in there it's an assault on my senses. I grocery shop on Sundays, and there's this new stupid yuppie trend of having live bands play out front while hip parunts drink their $7 glasses of (overpriced) wine and sit in the gazebo area out front. The music always sucks and is annoying, and you have to walk in front of the band to get to the entrance. Then, once inside, there is a cooking demo you can hear halfway across the store it's so loud and annoying. Every three feet someone is trying to push samples in your face. Then, the shrieking - ughhh! Always with the shrieking toadlers and defeated duhds with their strap-on baybees. Grocery shopping has become some sort of ridiculous Famblee Event. Now they're adding a walk-in clinic so Bratford with the sniffles can spread his germs throughout the store while getting a prescription for antibiotics or whatnot. eye rolling smiley
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