Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

Honestly, the Man and I have been shopping at Sam's Club early on Sunday mornings with the old people. We get there about 10 minutes after it opens, shop for 30 minutes and get out before the famblies show up.

Although when we went last week, there was a famblee that had a screeching male toadler. I was actually scared because they were right behind us when he started shrieking and yelled "What the hell!" when he started. It was actually pretty funny because we ended up shaming the family. Not that they did anything to shut him the hell up, they just looked guilty and miserable.

i was baby stalked the other night at dinner by a friend of mine. mr. minkoff and i were out with her and her husband and we were talking about their new dog. i fucking LOVE dogs and when she said she had a photo on her phone of doggie i was happy to look at it. then she says "i know you don't like kids but do you want to see a photo of a cute baby?" i laughed and said "not really" and she fucking showed me anyway! "my niece - isn't she cute?" i glanced and said "the dog is way cuter."

r

Ya know.... I hate it when people say "I know you hate kids..but...."

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myrna minkoff
then she says "i know you don't like kids but do you want to see a photo of a cute baby?" i laughed and said "not really" and she fucking showed me anyway! "my niece - isn't she cute?" i glanced and said "the dog is way cuter."

Hahahaha! Wow, even after you politely told her no. Some people.

I've had people show me pictures of their kids before (uninvited). I'll offer up the quickest of disinterested glances and that's about it.

I now work at a security guard at facility that I can't name. Think secret squirrel stuff.

Anyway, there is this currier who comes in every day and will talk endlessly with whoever is at the desk. He once asked me what books I wrote. When I asked what he was talking about, he said that I looked like a writer. It's true that I've had a novel I've been workin noon and off, but I never worked on it while at the job and have never mentioned it. He pressed me, so I told him it was about escorts and anti-choice terrorism at women's health clinics. Then he tried to go on about how wrong abortion is, but I flat refused to validate him with acknowledgement. I was at work, after all.

Today, without even saying "hello" he strode up to my desk and immediately started shoving grand baby pics in my face. He showed me pics of an infant a d said "this is him just off oxygen" and a pic of him holding the baby "do you see the resemblance? We're both fat and bald!" there was a picture if his wife holding the baby while a toddler girl climbed oh her. The woman looked miserable. "here's a close up" he said as he showed me a picture with a view up the toddler girl's nose.

I really didn't give a damn, so I didn't remark on the kids at all, which is hilarious. "oh, those are pretty flowers in that picture. What kind are they?" and "oh, so that's your wife. What's her name?" He seemed a bit miffed that I was commenting on the "wrong" things. :biggrin2

I would have knocked his hand out of my face if he was anyway close to me. I hate it when people try to change my mind through force.

GAH!

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thom_c


Go to the check out. One line is backing up. Why? Full of sprog food and needing a WIC / price check. Got in the next line. Went remarkably smooth. Got home and found I'd missed deodorant. Went to the near by over priced big box pharmacy. It was worth it to pay extra for the convenience and sprogless umm ambiance. .

Paying for peace of mind is worth it. I don't do Shit-Mart anymore. And Walgreens and CVS are fine for some things. They are overpriced on others. The key is to use coupons, only shop what's in their sales circulars (at the front of the store....if they have a brand of deodorant I don't usually use I will try it if it is on sale). They also have started doing a rewards program whereby if you buy something, you get a slip for a certain amount of money off of your next purchase. Combine that with your sales circulars and you can sometimes score stuff for free. I got some detergent for 15 cents the other day using this method. So sign up for their rewards program. Suck on that moos! The pharmacy stores are usually quieter and the lines are so much faster. You are in and out. They don't accept WIC. They do accept EBT but that goes fast as well as it is on a debit card now. Moos love Walmart because they are too lazy and dumb to play the game and get decent quality stuff for a low price in a better atmosphere. I have yet to see brats in Rite-Aid. I guess Moomie gets their dope from Wally World's pharmacy.

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peace-n-quiet
Paying for peace of mind is worth it. I don't do Shit-Mart anymore. And Walgreens and CVS are fine for some things. They are overpriced on others. The key is to use coupons, only shop what's in their sales circulars (at the front of the store....if they have a brand of deodorant I don't usually use I will try it if it is on sale). They also have started doing a rewards program whereby if you buy something, you get a slip for a certain amount of money off of your next purchase. Combine that with your sales circulars and you can sometimes score stuff for free. I got some detergent for 15 cents the other day using this method. So sign up for their rewards program. Suck on that moos! The pharmacy stores are usually quieter and the lines are so much faster. You are in and out. They don't accept WIC. They do accept EBT but that goes fast as well as it is on a debit card now. Moos love Walmart because they are too lazy and dumb to play the game and get decent quality stuff for a low price in a better atmosphere. I have yet to see brats in Rite-Aid. I guess Moomie gets their dope from Wally World's pharmacy.

For the past month, I have been combining price-matching ( ie show current sale price from competition flyer at a local store) and coupons.
I am saving 60% or more on great quality shopping items, including basics such as fruit, vegetables, cheese, dairy, fresh chicken, fish, etc

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blueorchid

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myrna minkoff
then she says "i know you don't like kids but do you want to see a photo of a cute baby?" i laughed and said "not really" and she fucking showed me anyway! "my niece - isn't she cute?" i glanced and said "the dog is way cuter."

Hahahaha! Wow, even after you politely told her no. Some people.

I've had people show me pictures of their kids before (uninvited). I'll offer up the quickest of disinterested glances and that's about it.

I met this guy I knew from the internet once about 10 years ago in a coffee shop. We were talking, and all of a sudden, he pulls out pictures of his daughter and starts showing them to me. I hadn't actually identified as childfree at the time (I don't know if the term even existed back then), but I knew I didn't like kids (I never did, not even when I was a kid), and I sure as hell wasn't interested in seeing pictures of his kid. I said "you must be really bored." and laughed. He looked really embarrassed and put the pictures away. LOL

Would you guys and gals count this as babystalking - or more appropriately, fetus-stalking?

Have you ever seen a pregnant woman in a crowded area (and it's always crowded, she needs an audience) start to rub her distended gut in a circular motion? Sometimes she'll try to be nonchalant, as if to say, "What - oh, this? This thing right here? Oh, it's just my ALMIGHTY FETUS NOW WORSHIP." Other times, she'll be so desperately obvious that it looks like if the rubs hard enough, a genie will appear.

These women don't even have to be visibly pregnant. Maybe they'll just puff out their stomachs, or go eat a burrito first (a la Sarah Silverman's "quickie aborsh" Twitter picture). If they start making the circles, someone'll notice and chime in some sort of praise.

Seriously, the gut rubbing is gross.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

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michaela
These women don't even have to be visibly pregnant. Maybe they'll just puff out their stomachs, or go eat a burrito first (a la Sarah Silverman's "quickie aborsh" Twitter picture).

That was hilarious. I love her for that.

I also HATE the 'gut rubbing' thing. Never saw anyone do that 'back in the day'.

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michaela


Seriously, the gut rubbing is gross.

Srsly. It reminds me of that KITH sketch with the "Beautiful Guts".

Kinda makes me wanna ask, "Are you about to bust ass? If so, I'll go to the other end of the store."

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michaela
Would you guys and gals count this as babystalking - or more appropriately, fetus-stalking?

Have you ever seen a pregnant woman in a crowded area (and it's always crowded, she needs an audience) start to rub her distended gut in a circular motion? Sometimes she'll try to be nonchalant, as if to say, "What - oh, this? This thing right here? Oh, it's just my ALMIGHTY FETUS NOW WORSHIP." Other times, she'll be so desperately obvious that it looks like if the rubs hard enough, a genie will appear.

These women don't even have to be visibly pregnant. Maybe they'll just puff out their stomachs, or go eat a burrito first (a la Sarah Silverman's "quickie aborsh" Twitter picture). If they start making the circles, someone'll notice and chime in some sort of praise.

Seriously, the gut rubbing is gross.

I would agree that's a form of babystalking.

Whenever I go to a particular grocery store in town, I use the self-serve checkout. There's always one store employee standing in that area and watching it. Maybe 50% of the time, it's one of a few pregnant women. Whenever I'm finished ringing up and bagging my purchases, I have to pass by the employee to exit the building. If the employee is a man or an apparent non-preggo, they usually stand off to the side of me and don't say anything. When it's a preggo, they always, without fail, stand rather close to me (at least in my line of vision) while I'm bagging my groceries, rubbing their midsection. When I go to leave, they then stand in the middle of the aisle, right in front of me, place their arms tightly by their sides and lace their fingers together right at their crotch area in order to emphasize their gut. They also smile exaggeratedly while saying something like, "Thank you for shopping here!" in a loud voice while glancing down quickly at their gut once or twice. Normally, I wouldn't think anything of someone being courteous, but I've observed it's only the noticeably pregnant ones who do that.

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"I treat my body as a temple, Laverne. You have chosen to treat yours as an amusement park."

Not exactly babystalking but I am so sick of kyds today. I was downtown shopping this afternoon and there were kyds and moos everywhere - more so than usual.

First, my friend and I were in a crowded department store and two little asshole kids were playing hide and go seek in the racks, touching all of the clothes with their grubby, disgusting hands and running around, into people. Moo was within earshot, ignoring the kids and focusing on her shopping.

THEN on the bus on the way home (I live in the city and was on a major bus route) I get on and there is a moo and duh with a baby, probably around a year old, sitting in the handicapped seating area and they had ANOTHER handicapped seating area folded up (you can push the seats back to accommodate wheel chairs) for their giant SUV stroller that was loaded down with their shopping bags. The baby was cute enough and wasn't making noise, but the duh had it on his lap and was bouncing up and down talking to it in obnoxious baby talk while moo fed it Cheerios, half of which ended up on the floor. a) I'm sure there were elderly or disabled people on the bus who could have used those seats. If Moo and Duh could hold the baby, they should have folded the stroller and carried their damn bags themselves like everyone else. and b) you're not supposed to eat on the bus. people do, but you're definitely not supposed to be flinging cereal everywhere. If the kid needs to eat during the length of an afternoon shopping trip, leave it home with a sitter.

UGH. I hate breeders who think they own public property because they spawned.

/rant.

Not exactly babystalking, but it might as well have been for all the wrong reasons... I was on the main hospital campus last week for a couple days for work, and this hospital is in the nasty ghetto part of town. Its the hospital that ALL, and I mean ALL the gunshot and stab victims go, all the gang violence goes, etc, etc. Some gross fatso moo was on the phone and her approx two year old crotch nugget was running way ahead of her towards some huge automatic doors that spin around. I said, "hey there, where are you going so fast? Making your escape? Where's mommy?" Well moomy looked at me like she was going to beat me into a pulp for stopping her kyd. She was total white trash, and obviously didn't give a CRAP about her daughter. I actually felt bad for the kid. She has no future with that SLOB for a mom. It was kinda sad. Obviously mom was hoping precious little daughter would get abducted. Baby stalking potential kidnappers, I guess.

So, I'm minding my own business at the library today and searching for my next book to wisk me away. This moo comes up the aisle with little snot-nosed toadler in tow. "Hi hi hi hi hi hi" over and over and over in that horrid pitch that makes my teeth hurt. I quickly leave that area. SHE FOLLOWS ME. "Hey! My son said "hi" to you! It is very rude to ignore him!" she moos. Oh. Holy. HELL. Seriously? You are going to SCOLD me for not responding to your damn stupid kid?? Fuck the hell off.
I gave her my most withering look, turned on my heel and left without a word.
Garg!!:headbrick
I can't stand that "hi hi hi hi" BS.

Next time, say in a really annoying and loud voice, "shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" and follow it up with, "yeah, that's annoying, isn't it?" I wish I had the cajones to do that.

my friend and i were baby-stalked yesterday at a coffeehouse. we were sitting at a small table away from the counter, in the back of the room, and this girl just HAS to come over to our table while her moo was ordering. the girl walked right up, stood between us and just stared. she wasn't a toddler, she was about six or so. :drool

my friend and i stopped talking and stared back. my friend said "yes?" and she kept staring, so i leaned in close and whispered "go away!"

and she did.

I got baby stalked for the first time Wednesday. My school sometimes has free "workshops" where they provide free pizza. A moo-to-be had to make a big deal about puzzling over which kind of pizza "this kid" wanted and rubbing her stomach even though she was only three months along. I know how far along she was because she was bragging about it too everyone who sat anywhere near her until the workshop started.

A moo-to-be had to make a big deal about puzzling over which kind of pizza "this kid" wanted and rubbing her stomach even though she was only three months along
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OH crap! Give me a freekin' break.

Church is among one of the most notorious places to be baby-stalked. I go to a Baptist church with my mother (one of the conditions of our living arrangement). Our piano player has a black child, don't know if it's his or his step-daughter's, never cared to find out. To cut to the chase, all of the people in the church love to hold her and coo over her.
So he thought I would do the same thing. He squeezed himself and his kid into the pew and stood in front of me with an expectant look on his face. I looked blankly up at him then went back to my doodling (that's what I do during the whole service). He stood there for a few minutes then left.
He hasn't approached me since.
I was also asked if I wanted to do children's church. I vehemently replied no. Hate children. Can't stand them.

Today, about 3 hours ago, I went to a pawnbroker's shop to look at and possibly buy records & CDs. We rarely watch TV here, usually go to theater pubs showing foreign or classic films or art-house/indie theaters for movies and listen to music the rest of the time, which are great things about being an upper-middle-class CF couple in a big city, so recorded music is common here at Chez Chris450slc.

Onto the subject of brats, I was looking at the bottom shelf of a CD rack, trying to decide between CDs of George Winston, Bill Frisell or Clannad to balance out the 70s rock records we'd chosen, when a peestooler that looked like a girl but which I wasn't totally sure on, snuck up on me and rammed its head into my shoulder, said "Hi! Hi! Hi!" and showed me a creepy ragdoll resembling Ronald McDonald in drag, which of course I did not care about. I told Shitlynn to shoo and to leave grownups alone from now on, Shitlynn's fugly fat moo, who was looking at cheapo gold-filled jewelry with cubic zirconia "rocks", egged her on and made her sing the A-B-C song to me when what I really wanted to hear was "The Graceful Ghost", "Egg Radio" or "Ri Na Cruinne", then told me what a little genius Shitlynn was (which was utter bullshite). I broke down and bought both Frisell and Winston, we left and we were talking about how we ran into another sprog and another fucktard moo one day after seeing my car and a very expensive Italian sports car owned by a friend getting damaged by another sprog with a fucktarded moo. I think this counts as babystalking since the moo had only Shitlynn and was showing off her subpar intelligence to me when I could care less.

I will admit that I'm a kyd magnet for some reason, especially in the winter when I'm wearing a $200 replica 1960s Porsche Racing team jacket and they think I'm a race car driver.

Went to Hastings, today. I do every so often, when I get bored or depressed. It usually brightens my mood, as finding rare jewels for pocket change is quite the serotonin shot. As I finished my Hastings Ritual (Movies, then Music, then Books), I ambled into the Book section... and spied a toadler (actually, a few years older, but just as annoying) in my peripheral vision. I was not in a position to dodge it without being obvious, and I figured it would be like a beehive - don't bother it, and it won't bother you.

The little fooker was playing with this rattling stuffed snake-thing, while its moo was reading a book (presumably, "How To Strangle Your Annoying Kid With A Rattling Stuffed Snake-Thing... for Dummies"), and proceeded to toss it right out in front of me, as she was lying in wait. I didn't even look, I just stepped over it and went on about my merry way, towards yet another short affair with a long Stephen King novel.

I was half-expecting moo to get all pissy, but she was too engrossed in whatever she was reading to advise Annoying Kid not to irritate random strangers with faux reptiles. This was, of course, after a fucking famblee day at the doctor's office, complete with small-yet-echoey office, and kid with cryhole-itis. Holy shit, I was rocking like fucking RAIN MAN before they called my name.