Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

rocking like rainman... lol!

YOU ARE MY HERO! :beer What I would have given to be there with you when the duh came back just to see the look on his face! I would have been tempted to give him the finger with a big grin, confirming that his slimy plan didn't work, but indifference was the classy way to go.
I told this story to my hubbs, and he said, "well, I'm sure she kept an eye on them anyway" and I said "NO! DON'T YOU GET IT?" :iws Why is this just ASSUMED it's her job??? Was worried for a minute that hubbs was thinking like a duh, but he's ok now :crz

I got blatantly babystalked for the first time in IT class by the teacher on Thursday. The teacher is showing us how to upload and work with videos on YouTube because she teaches the class like we're her kindergarteners and not folks who are 18+ and have been working with computers for years. So her video example is a video of her toddler running towards her and looking up at the camera smiling. Cue much espousing about the "cutest baby in the world" and how different life is with a baby and blah blah blah. Really? Your class is useless as it is; don't waste my time further with your baby.

I was standing in line to make a purchase, waiting for an enormous moo with a wide load stroller and a wide load ass to match to get the hell out of the way. Why can't they park those things outside? The thing was more jammed packed with crap than a homeless person's shopping cart, so obviously the 2 bratlings were running loose around the store annoying everyone.
At one point, the brother toadling stuck out his foot and tripped the sister, executing a perfect face plant into the floor. Laughing hysterically (inwardly) I gave it a score of 4.0.....took a few points off because the place was carpeted. The sister toadling starts the banshee wail and moo starts with, "Awww, wha happen, pweshus fawww down?"
I said, "No, her brother tripped her."
She shot me a nasty look, and said, "He did NOT!"
I glanced at the guy behind the counter for confirmation (he saw it too) and he smirks with an eye roll as if to say, "Don't drag me into this" lol
Then she starts raging to "mind my own business". Made my purchase and turned to leave and said, "Well, good luck" This enraged her further and bellowed out that "she doesn't need my luck."
To which I replied.....
"I was talking to your daughter"

ba da bum

This isn't exactly babystalking per se, but I don't think my little experience warrants a shiny new thread. Maybe baby supplies stalking?

STORY TIME

I went to CVS to get Q-tips and Chloraseptic spray to care for my tonsil stones. (I don't care if it's TMI; we post enough here as it is.) I look and look and simply cannot find the fucking Q-tips. Not in the makeup or any personal care stuff - surely CVS must carry them? I ask an employee and he leads me in a beeline to...the baby care aisle. That was the only place in this CVS that had Q-tips.

Yes, I know, sometimes people can jump to the conclusion that your item being near the baby shit aisle = childfree affront, but really? Why can't there be Q-tips with the makeup as well? I was already feeling unwell and did not feel like that helped.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

Yeah... I love A and D ointment for many things..... and where is that? It's in the diaper rash section.

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starlady
Yeah... I love A and D ointment for many things..... and where is that? It's in the diaper rash section.

Which I find funny because the most common use for it (that I know of) is for helping new tattoos heal.

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mistress rotwang

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starlady
Yeah... I love A and D ointment for many things..... and where is that? It's in the diaper rash section.

Which I find funny because the most common use for it (that I know of) is for helping new tattoos heal.

Yep. My mother used it and Prep H for all of her tattoos.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

I stayed at a friend's aunt's house for a week (long background story)
what I didn't know was it turned out her aunt lived with her daughter in law and her 3 small grandkids.

needless to say this experience made me realize how much I hate kids. the oldest kid keep following me around to babble about random shit, give smartass commentaries, interview me about anything in sight. she really thinks i am interested in what she has to say or do. I can't lock myself in, since i shared room with my friends.
i avoid the younger ones like the plague. especially after one growled at me for sitting on his *favorite* couch, and one (a baby) ate my make up mirror.
when the kids not bothering people, they either wail, scream, whine, cry... jesus on crackers. what is so adorable about children? kids are so dull, zombie-like, tedious, gross, unfunny, boring, boring, boring, and so is interacting with them. basically i am very polite and my friend's relatives are very nice person. so i gave polite fake political smile each time the kids did some supposedly cute thing... it's so exhausting. i am so tired from one week of being babystalked. i hate my polite fake self. gaaaahhhh. thank god it is over now!

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felisdomestica
I stayed at a friend's aunt's house for a week (long background story)
what I didn't know was it turned out her aunt lived with her daughter in law and her 3 small grandkids.

needless to say this experience made me realize how much I hate kids. the oldest kid keep following me around to babble about random shit, give smartass commentaries, interview me about anything in sight. she really thinks i am interested in what she has to say or do. I can't lock myself in, since i shared room with my friends.
i avoid the younger ones like the plague. especially after one growled at me for sitting on his *favorite* couch, and one (a baby) ate my make up mirror.
when the kids not bothering people, they either wail, scream, whine, cry... jesus on crackers. what is so adorable about children? kids are so dull, zombie-like, tedious, gross, unfunny, boring, boring, boring, and so is interacting with them. basically i am very polite and my friend's relatives are very nice person. so i gave polite fake political smile each time the kids did some supposedly cute thing... it's so exhausting. i am so tired from one week of being babystalked. i hate my polite fake self. gaaaahhhh. thank god it is over now!

So true there! I lived basically the same thing for a while, except that it was my girlfriend and I, in a 4-bedroom split-level house owned by her aunt and uncle, sharing the place with 3 kydz plus the aunt and uncle.

The babby ate your makeup mirror? Tell us more.

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chris450slc
So true there! I lived basically the same thing for a while, except that it was my girlfriend and I, in a 4-bedroom split-level house owned by her aunt and uncle, sharing the place with 3 kydz plus the aunt and uncle.

The babby ate your makeup mirror? Tell us more.

then it is covered in saliva. fucking gross.

if the baby actually ingested the mirror, i would not be here posting at bratfree larious

I know it! bet you get to say nothing too, since the space is originally owned by aunt and uncle :p precious experience taught me to a.)get sterilized no matter what, and b.) avoid living with in-laws if i get married

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felisdomestica

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chris450slc
So true there! I lived basically the same thing for a while, except that it was my girlfriend and I, in a 4-bedroom split-level house owned by her aunt and uncle, sharing the place with 3 kydz plus the aunt and uncle.

The babby ate your makeup mirror? Tell us more.

then it is covered in saliva. fucking gross.

if the baby actually ingested the mirror, i would not be here posting at bratfree larious

I know it! bet you get to say nothing too, since the space is originally owned by aunt and uncle :p precious experience taught me to a.)get sterilized no matter what, and b.) avoid living with in-laws if i get married

LOL, we never got to say a thing about it, and agreed with A and B. I think I know where you would be if the babby actually ate the mirror, I actually had to throw away a plug-in charger for 4 AA batteries and a point-and-shoot digital camera and soak a 1940s Rolls-Royce grille ornament in Betadine for days after babbies sucked on them after the experience I mentioned.

Luckily there was an InTown Suites about 5 minutes away from the aunt and uncle, and I don't need to say what happened after that...

I don't recall ever being baby stalked, but I am a magnet to kids. I have no idea why, they just seem to find me fascinating, much the way a cat will instantly fall in love with the only person in the room who does not like cats. I really hate it.

Went out to eat lunch today and there were 3 moos with their 3 sprogs under the age of 2 in highchairs. One of the sprogs started shrieking the second I sat down. Great. One of the moos started reading a book out loud to the screaming kids. Double great. the kids did stop crying so that was good but then they were leaving and one of the kids got free milk from the establishment. Le sigh.... Then he started walking down between the tables drinking said milk from his bottle and staring at people. I ignored him and was suddenly very engrossed in my book. He moved on to another table and got all the noisy attention he was looking for from that group. Moos just stood there and waited for him to come back on his own with giant annoying vapid grins on their moo faces. :BS :BS :BS :BS :BS :BS :BS

Yesterday I was buying movie tickets and I was in line behind a doughy duh and a gaggle of brats. He had each kid ask for a ticket to the same damn show - "Give the nice lady the money!" "All of you say thank you!" "Faaaaaank yooooo"

One of the smaller kids (maybe not even 2 years of age) was a bit slow and very small. I didn't see him over my chest and I ended up tripping on him, tearing my big toenail on his hard, rubbery little shoes. "Fuck!" I hiss, because it goddamn hurt. Kid just looks at me like "Whuh? Huh? I don't get it, what's going on?" Ticket lady asked if I wanted to donate to children's cancer research. I said no. I know, I'm such a badass. Fuck it, what about adult cancer? What about the fact that children themselves are akin to unwanted malignant growths? So yeah, it is a wonder you can walk.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

Seems that every where I go lately they are asking for contributions (a dollar off your card, buy a baloon and put your name on it or somethin) for a childruns charity. I get sick of it.

I only say yes to the animal ones. Which are only ever at pet stores.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

I lost my babystalking virginity on Monday of this week.

I went to my favourit thrift store, where they hold a 50% off everything day every few months. I went in the early afternoon, figuring that the more rabid shoppers would have been knocking on the door at 7 A.M. when it first opened, and that it would be fairly quiet. Having gone early in the past, I was fairly certain that it couldn't be any worse as the day wore on.

Well, colour me wrong. The place was a zoo (though nothing, nothing at all like the Black Friday type zoos that we hear about here in Canada). I had my heart set on a couple of items because I abhor paying much for clothing, or anything for that matter, and they typically have very nice things. So I made like a bullet to the skirt section, dodging and weaving around carts and people, loaded up my tiny basket, and tried on my selections.

I decided to be brave and check out another couple of rows, running into the inevitable moo with a shopping cart full of items blocking the entire lane, and ignoring the idiotic babbling of their brats. However, I found myself sandwiched between two rows of clothing, with me on one side and a moo with her brat-cart on the other. I figured that we would pass each other like cars going in opposite directions, but the damn moo decided to move along with me with surprising synchronicity.

In fact, the moment I got even remotely close to the pair of them--intending to sort through the garments and quickly move on--the moo started talking to her crapsack. More and more loudly as we got nearer to each other. And this encouraged Tardley to produce even more insipid babble, which moo then praised, quite loudly, as "What a great song! Oh, you're so funny. Aw, I love it when you do that. Aw, giving mom a hug, you're so sweet! Now sweetie, don't squeeze my finger so hard, haha..." and so on. I ignored them completely, never once so much as glancing their way, gauging the uncomfortably narrow breathing space between them and myself solely by the intensity of the little turd's Pay Attention To Me lazer, which was firmly implanted in my back.

As I moved along, clearly uninterested in feeding the woman's ego, the chatter mysteriously ceased.

Ah, the things I do for a good deal.

Ashari? That wouldn't have been Value Village would it? When I go to Nova Scotia I like to go there. I've been to their 50% off days and.. yes.. it's a freekin' zoo of moos. Ofcourse the brats think that the racks are their playground. Ran across a moo and her crotchling in there once. Moo was going through racks and little Bratina was under the rack walking along that metal part near the floor. You know.. that piece that runs lenghwise along the entire rack. Well, I overheard moo say to Bratina in that high voice. "Oh, you are an acrobat. Are you walking a tightrope? You're very good." and she looks up and smiles if someone is overhearing her.

OMG... dont' applaud the damn brat.. get her thefuck out of there... I don't give a flyin' fig if your kid is an acrobat. The racks at a store is no place to demonatrate her talent.

starlady, you've got it! I really love shopping there, and on non-50% days, as you know, you usually don't have to deal with many brats or stupid lane-blocking moos. I just make sure to avoid the kid section, although the dressing rooms are right near it... so I often get to hear prime examples of why It's All Worth Itâ„¢. Trying to wrangle a feral monkey into trying on clothes or wasting your breath telling it to stay beside you and stop throwing a fit over a toy for an hour while just trying to buy a pair of jeans? Sign me up!

eyes2 Yes, please put the little "acrobat" on a real tightrope and see what happens! Sheesh. And then the bugger knocks hangers off the rack, and of course moo leaves them all on the floor. I've picked up more than my share.

When I was a very young child, I accidentally knocked over one of those big old mannequins in Sears. I was so terrified of what my mother would do that I hid in a clothes rack, crying. She apparently couldn't help but laugh at my reaction, but if she'd seen me hovering near the thing in the first place I would have been told not to do so for that precise reason. Today's moo would have sued the store, claiming that their pweshous tard could have been hurt and that mannequins should be better secured.

Went to Michael's to buy some pretty beads to make a bracelet and to buy plain keyrings - no, I don't make lanyards, but they're great for fixing broken bra straps on the go. So I'm picking through beads when I hear, "No, [kreatively named, I forget exactly what], we don't open those." "OPENOPENOPENSKREEEEEAAAAARGH" "No, uh-uh, we don't do that." She started doing this when she saw me in the aisle. I could hear moooo's singsong voice clearly from several aisles.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

I was babystalked by the kid itself today in JcPenney. He saw me browsing through clothes and did that annoying "HI! HI! HI! HI! HI!" I just kept staring straight at the clothes. He also looked way too old to be still in a stroller, maybe about 4. At least his moo told (in Spanish) him to shut up and stop bothering people.

I got baby-stalked yesterday but in a most delightful way...
because I was puppy-stalked! The most ADORABLE little black lab puppy...oh I was melting all over the damn place. The little squee was so damn cute I hardly noticed the guy (who wasn't too hard on the eyes but too young for me). I got lots of puppy kisses (SO much better then baby drool!) and seriously considered stuffing the little bundle of cute in my purse and making a run for it

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jezebel_daisy
I got baby-stalked yesterday but in a most delightful way...
because I was puppy-stalked! The most ADORABLE little black lab puppy...oh I was melting all over the damn place. The little squee was so damn cute I hardly noticed the guy (who wasn't too hard on the eyes but too young for me). I got lots of puppy kisses (SO much better then baby drool!) and seriously considered stuffing the little bundle of cute in my purse and making a run for it

I love being puppy stalked, Its' the best part of going to Petsmart!

I'll take any kind of animal stalking Hell, I welcome it!